That growing anxiety pushes its way to the surface. I feel like a failure, a loser for wasting so much time until now. Ethan’s goal has progressed, but my own search hasn’t really gone anywhere. I need to find him as soon as possible. Thoughts collide with fear and pain, throwing me back into the darkness. It takes me twice as long to get back to Ethan’s street as it normally would. My heart rate picks up when I knock on his door, overwhelmed with mixed emotions.
“Hey, I was expecting you a little later. How–” He stops talking when he opens the door. “What’s wrong?”
I don’t even realise that I’m shaking when I step inside, my breathing shallow. “It’s nothing. I’m just being silly. I thought that I saw my father when I jumped out of the Metro station,” I mumble, flexing my fingers nervously.
“Come on, let’s get you something warm to drink,” he says. I inhale his aftershave, telling myself to calm down. The smell of roast beef pervades the kitchen and my mouth waters. Only now I realise that I didn’t eat much for lunch. I was so engrossed in my conversation with the girls that I forgot about food.
“I’m fine. It’s not a big deal. It wasn’t my father. I probably just hoped that it was him.”
“It’s been years, Arwen. He’s probably changed. We will find him, I promise,” he tells me, handing me a chamomile tea. Then he kisses me slowly and gently, the way I like it. The heat starts, stirring desire, and in an instant I want more.
“That’s nice. I've already forgotten about it. You’re a great distraction.”
“I must admit that I haven’t been much help. We have to intensify the search.”
“Okay, we will go to see another dealer tomorrow. I don’t want to spoil my evening with you,” I say, putting the tea aside and wrapping my arms around his waist.
“All right, but you’re a terrible influence. We still have a dinner to get through. Your stomach is rumbling. I heard it when you walked in,” he says, exhaling sharply when I caress the skin on his stomach. “Tell me, did the girls see the place? Your paintings?”
“Yes, they loved it. “
I tell him about Laura and her connections and today’s ideas. It turns out that he has already gotten some quotes from one of his friends with regards to marketing. That evening after dinner, we start draughting a plan, writing down all the things that Ethan needs to run a successful exhibition. He is confident enough that everything will be done in around two weeks. It’s a lot of work, and by the time we’re finished discussing it all, we are both exhausted.
Sex is still on my mind when we finally move to the bedroom. It’s also the first night that I’m going to spend with him, without being intoxicated. I push away the thought of telling him about my episode from the past.
“I normally get up at five to work out, but I”
“Ethan, shut up and kiss me. I missed you,” I say, cutting him off. When his eyes become hooded, glowing with heat, I realise that it’s just us, and we can finally enjoy each other.
Ethan
I push her onto the bed, stop analysing my every move, and grab her feet.
“This will be quick, since we’re both tired,” I tell her, smiling.
I start kissing that soft skin on her ankles, feeling ready to make love to her right now. I still can’t quite comprehend that she is with me.
Arwen giggles and I start moving my mouth upwards, parting her legs. We play with each other for a little while until I know that she is wet enough. It’s so rewarding looking at her, totally in my control, on my bed.
Happiness and blissful peace spread through me and I find myself thinking about the future. In an ideal world, we would be partners—she would be painting and I would run my business. I know this isn’t as simple as it sounds. There are many obstacles, but this night is perfect and fulfilling. It’s just us.
In the morning I find myself wrapped up in her warm, small body. My memories drift back to yesterday and I smile to myself. She hasn’t escaped yet; she is still with me. A minute later my alarm goes off. It’s 5:00 a.m.
She moans when I kiss her. Yes, it’s unfair that I have to leave, but I only have a few more weeks left at work. I can’t lose focus now.
“Stay here and sleep. I have a spare key.”
She mutters something in her sleep and turns over. I grab some clothes and leave the room. On my way to the gym I realise that I haven’t talked to Sylvie yet. She is probably waiting for my phone call. Nothing would have ever worked out between us, but I owe her an apology and explanation. I decide to deal with her later.
The rest of my day is filled with painful tasks that I don’t find interesting anymore. Emails, meetings, paperwork and more emails. I have a calendar by my desk with crossed-out days, waiting for that moment when I’m out of here. The word in the department has spread; everyone knows that I’m leaving. The position had been advertised; next week I’m doing the interviews.
Arwen calls me later on during her lunch and we agree I will pick her up at five from the campus. Lucas Voltare is the next one on the list. Compared to the previous name, there is plenty of information about him online. When I check his website, I can’t stop admiring the professional graphics and all the paintings that he has for sale. It’s an impressive collection.
I click on the contact details, comparing them with mine on the list from Antoine. Lucas Voltare is listed in two different locations. I manage to find out that he spends most of his time in Bruges. He has a few people that run his studio in the city.
Arwen will be disappointed and I’m desperate to give her some good news. I’m going to help her to find her father, even if I have to hire a private detective. Then I smile, deciding that I owe her a surprise.
Arwen
His bed is so comfortable that I don’t move until it’s half past eight. It’s a shame that he had to leave. I dress, putter around, and leave for the Metro station. Anxiety crashes with reality when I’m back in the crowd of people. I’m certain that I saw my father yesterday. He saw me and then ran away, like a coward. Mum calls, probably to check on me, so we chat for a little bit. I don’t tell her about Ethan yet. It’s too soon. Besides, she will freak.
I know that I have to tell him about my past incident, but everything is so perfect now and I know he won’t look at me the same way afterward. There are many things that I’m upset about, but it’s been years.
I head to the campus and the first couple of classes fly by.
Ethan calls during lunch.
“Hello, beautiful, how are you?” he asks when I answer.
“Great, well rested and I can’t wait to see you later.”
He laughs and I love the sound of this. It’s so honest and I feel like it’s me, that I make him happy.
“We can’t go to see Lucas Voltare just yet.”
“What? Why?”
“Because he runs his business in two locations. In the city and in Bruges. There is no point talking to him on the phone. We need to see him in person and show him your great reproduction,” Ethan explains and I sink back on my seat. This isn’t happening. Why does everything have to be so complicated?
“Arwen, are you there?” Ethan asks.
“Yes, I’m here,” I mumble.
“I have an idea. Why don’t we take a short break away this weekend? We could stay for a night in Bruges and then see Voltare in the morning.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Ethan wants to spend a weekend with me. This dealer Voltare surely must know something about my father. Right now I just want to have this behind me.
“That sounds good. I would love to spend a weekend with you in Bruges,” I squeak.
“Great. I’ll arrange everything. Don’t worry. We'll leave tomorrow in the afternoon.”
When Ethan hangs up, I want to jump up and down. A few students stare at me like I’ve gone mad. I reach for my phone and start researching. I’m going away to one of the most romantic cities in Europe. I can’t believe how lucky I am.
I finish my food an
d on the way to class a text message comes through. My stomach makes a funny jolt because it’s Gilbert asking me how I am. I bite my lip, toying with what I want to say to him. I don’t want him to believe there could be something between us. On the way home I call him to say that I have already met the man of my dreams and I don’t want to give him any false hopes. Gilbert is disappointed, but at least I got that off my chest. Now it’s just a case of revealing the whole truth to Colin.
Maja had her date with Christian last night and I’m dying to know how it went. I text her offering to cook dinner for us; we both need to catch up.
It’s all good and exciting until I go home and find her in tears.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Arwen
“Hey, what’s wrong, sweetie? What happened?” I ask. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her crying. On the outside she is so strong and confident. I wonder if that fucker Christian has done something to hurt her.
“It was a disaster,” she howls.
“Come on, tell me. What happened?”
She wipes the tears away from her face.
“The date was great. I was funny and chatty. Then when he was dropping me off, we kissed and oh my God. It was terrible. I wanted to kill myself after that,” she moans, hiding her face in her hands.
I laugh involuntarily, not able to help myself. “Oh come on, you must have kissed before, right? Maybe it wasn’t that bad.”
“I can’t believe you find it so amusing, Arwen. Our kiss wasn’t steamy or hot, but forced and cringey. I was so embarrassed after that.”
I place my arms around her, somehow trying to cheer her up. There are so many expectations around the first kiss. Mine wasn’t worth remembering.
“What did he do, you know, after–”
“Nothing. He tried to turn this whole thing into a joke, but I felt humiliated. I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. Not after that.”
I shake my head.
“Don’t be ridiculous. It was only a first kiss. Nothing is ever perfect. You’re going to see him tomorrow and talk about it like two mature people would. Now go to the bathroom, clean up, and let me cook you a nice dinner.”
Okay, so it’s a big deal for her. She wanted it to be perfect, but things don’t always work out as we want. They are smitten with each other, so they will pass this awkward moment. I try to cheer her up for the rest of the evening, preparing mussels in a white wine sauce. It’s my signature dish. It’s something that I cook when I’m very, very happy. I don’t want to rub it in her face tonight, so I don’t mention that I’m going away with Ethan to Bruges.
I think it’s a big deal for Maja and I hate seeing her feeling like that. She hasn’t had a boyfriend before and I can only hope that Christian is a decent guy and won’t just dump her. Later that night, when she announces that she is having an early night, I start working on another painting. Thoughts about my father are still vivid. Even now, after so many years, I can’t come to terms with the fact that I didn’t mean anything to him.
I came a long way to be where I am now. In a couple weeks' time, people will view my art in a gallery. I might be lucky enough to sell some. Ethan is truly convinced that my work will be an asset to the business, but my demons from the past keep whispering, saying that I’m fooling myself thinking that I could ever be truly successful. My style is unique and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
The next day is Friday and I’m excited. Maja appears in the kitchen with a big smile on her face. Apparently Christian texted her early in the morning and it looks like she’s going on another date.
Ethan is going to pick me up at four, so I pack some clothes for a day or two. I’m nervous. This time tomorrow I might be knocking on my father’s door. My mind is filled with anxiety, but also with excitement, because this is the first time that I’m going to spend some proper alone time with Ethan.
My small travel bag is packed and after a quick shower I leave for the library to catch up with my University work. Ethan texts me later, stating that he booked the contractors to work in his future gallery as of next week. I can barely sit through classes, knowing that in a couple of hours I’ll be traveling to Bruges.
I see Colin with Valerie and some of his mates in the corridor when I head to the library. Even after our conversation in my room, Colin insists on talking to me.
“Hey, Arwen, how are you?” he asks, stopping. Valerie gives me a faint smile. I’m in a good mood today and I don’t want to spoil it because of Colin.
“Good. What about you?” I ask, smiling.
“I’m all right. There is this party on campus and I wondered if you wanted to come.”
Crap, another party. Of course he wants me to go with him.
“No, I have some stuff that I need to do tomorrow. Besides, I’m helping your Dad with his business, so I’ll be finishing a painting.”
“Yeah, he mentioned it.”
“I have to go. Maybe next time,” I add, and it looks like he wants to ask me about something else, but I leave before we can get engrossed in another pointless conversation. When I finally get home later on, I text Maja, letting her know that I will be away most of the weekend.
Ethan is outside exactly at four o’clock, looking sexier than ever. I have butterflies in my stomach and my mind starts to wander off to our steamy sex session in his gallery. He is mine for at least twenty-four hours and I’m planning to take advantage of that, when I’m not tracking my bastard father that is.
“You seem very happy. Any reason why?” he asks, amused.
“Bruges. I have never been and I heard that it’s romantic.”
“Surprisingly, I never had a chance either. It’s embarrassing actually, because I have lived in Belgium for years.”
“What about when you were married?”
“My ex-wife didn’t like Belgium much and she insisted on going abroad every time we had a vacation. I just can’t believe I didn’t think about this business earlier.”
“Maybe it’s better that you didn’t, because then we would have never met,” I remind him and kiss him deeply when he stops at the traffic light. When his tongue starts dancing around mine, the heat from his body moves through me, and I’m instantly turned on.
We hear the horn behind us and Ethan drives, keeping his hand on my thigh.
“You’re such a bad influence. What am I going to do with you, my elf princess?”
“I can think of something, but I won’t say a word because you’re my driver and I want to get to Bruges in one piece.”
“Tease, that’s what you are.”
His hand creeps up towards the centre of my thigh and I smile, looking straight ahead. Ethan hates breaking the rules, but he’s loosened up a little since that day at the gallery.
The drive to Bruges doesn’t take long. It’s Friday, the beginning of the weekend, so there are a lot more cars, but we get there an hour and a half later. The drive is beautiful and I know that I should be thinking about the dealer on the list, but it’s our evening. I want to relax today, recharge my batteries and be ready for tomorrow.
“Where are we going to stay?” I ask, burning with curiosity.
“In Prinsenhof. It’s one of the best hotels in Bruges. That’s what I’ve heard.”
“Promise me something, Ethan,” I say, switching the subject to a more serious one.
“That depends…”
“Well, I don’t want this weekend to be all about me, but also you. You should concentrate on finding paintings for your exhibition, especially if this whole search doesn’t go to plan.”
He parks his car outside the hotel and looks at me with the same intensity as usual.
“Stop worrying; everything will be fine. I want you to forget about my business this weekend.”
“But Ethan–”
He silences me, placing his thumb on my lips.
“There are no buts, elf princess. We are checking in and then I’m taking you upstairs, so I can fuck you.”
My hea
rt accelerates. He doesn’t usually talk like that, but adding that domineering tone to his voice makes me horny.
He winks at me and then we’re out of the car. The hotel is located in a side street just off the main road. It’s a small, unique mix of modern and Gothic style. After ten minutes of paperwork, a very nice Belgian lady takes us upstairs. Our room is lovely; modern with a massive bed. It’s nothing extravagant, but I love the atmosphere that surrounds this place.
Ethan locks the door.
“Before I start undressing you, I want to know if you want to go to town or do anything else rather than stay in the room?”
I laugh and shake my head, dropping my bag on the floor.
“No, I’d rather stay here in bed.”
“Would you now?” he asks, moving towards me. The air around us thickens and the hair on the back of my neck stands up. Ethan begins his seduction game; he runs his finger down my cleavage. It’s just a simple touch, but my heart is going wild, pounding uncontrollably.
“Now you’re being a tease, Ethan,” I murmur, but he doesn’t let me wait long and starts kissing my neck. I close my eyes, enjoying the sensations on my skin. His kisses are attentive and it’s like he wants to touch every part of my body, arousing me in the process.
“I want you, Arwen. I want to feel your naked body pressed against mine.”
His husky alluring voice is back and I feel the same cold shiver crawling down the base of my spine. I try to touch him, but he pushes my hands away, still kissing me. His lips trace the lines of my cleavage, and he uses his teeth to undo the small zipper in between my breasts. I want to run my hand along his jaw, do something, but it seems that he wants to be in control of this and take it really slow.
His hand moves underneath my shirt and he unhooks my bra, removing my blouse completely. My face heats up and desire starts burning me up and down. My whole body reacts, zinging with electricity, nipples reacting when his mouth starts sucking on my breasts greedily.
Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance Page 19