“Just put some clothes on, Arwen, and go home. I have to sort this out,” I add, pushing her away from me. She looks beautiful, but I can’t do this right now.
“Are you sure? I think you should go to the hospital.”
“Arwen, leave. I don’t have time for your nonsense. Start acting like an adult. This isn’t a fairy tale but real life!” I shout, raising my voice.
She pales, drops her eyes and then starts picking up her clothes. Right now I’m not thinking straight. I'm probably hurting her feelings, but I had very few hours of sleep and one of my deals is void. I disappear into the bathroom, taking long pulls of air. I wash my face and find some stuff in the first aid box, hoping to stop the bleeding. Arwen was probably right: the nose is broken, and it hurts like hell.
When I get back to the bedroom, Arwen is not there and I hear the door. She’s gone and maybe that’s for the best. I hate acting like this, hurting her. I can’t deal with her emotions right now. She will get over it. My life is slipping out of my hands. This is a complete mess and I have to be on the road in a couple of minutes. The paintings are the last thing on my mind. I change, pick up some stuff and get to the car, heading to the nearest hospital.
The rest of my Saturday is wasted and I have to cancel all my meetings. The doctor takes an X-ray and confirms that my son has broken my nose. Once I’m all patched up and filled with painkillers, I head home. The tension in my body is unbearable. Arwen couldn’t have picked a worse moment. Muscles in my stomach clench, my head keeps pounding. I do love her, she is perfect for me, but Colin won’t accept us being together.
As I walk through the door, my phone starts to ring. It’s Bethany. I doubt that Colin has said anything about what happened earlier.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Ethan, you son of a bitch! How could you do this to Colin? He’s your only son!”
I hold my head in my hands. She knows, already. For Christ's sake, Colin barely speaks to his mother.
“Bethany, please calm down and let me explain.”
“She was his girlfriend, Ethan. Have you lost your mind?”
“I met Arwen in the gallery. At the time, I didn’t know that she was going out with him. We had one date, Bethany and then”
She is crying now, so I stop talking, feeling like a bastard. I hate myself that I couldn’t have waited. It was the desire, the passion, but I hurt people that care about me.
“She’s twenty years younger than you. Can you imagine what kind of scandal you will be involved with if the press finds out?”
“Bethany, I love her. This isn’t a repeat from the past. She’s the love of my life.”
“Colin is in love with her. He told me on the phone. You have no idea, Ethan. You lost him. He will never forgive you for this.”
“I made a mistake, Bethany … I need to speak to him and explain.”
“Ethan, you haven’t changed at all. You cheated on me with your apprentice and now you’re fucking your son’s girlfriend. This is sick.”
I try to breathe, but whatever I say next won’t make any difference. She has already judged me because of everything that happened in the past.
“I have to go find Colin.”
“It’s done, Ethan. You have ruined him. Leave this poor girl alone and save yourself.”
Then she hangs up and I rub my face with my palms. My nose is throbbing with pain again. I throw my phone on the floor, smashing it to a million pieces. The anger crawls over me, the rage. I pick up my jacket and decide to drive to my son’s house. I have one chance to make this right.
Arwen
Saturday passes in a gloom and when Maja comes back I break down and explain everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours. At first she doesn’t know what to do with me, trying to calm me down, saying that it will be all right.
At first I want to run to Colin, talk to him and explain everything, but Maja thinks it’s a bad idea, that I need to give him time to deal with it. Ethan doesn’t call either and I’m worried, petrified that he has given up on us. I made my choice. In an instant he turned into an angry man, and his words stabbed me right in the gut. He asked me to leave and he hasn’t called. Maybe he doesn’t love me and I was trying hard to pretend that there was something between us. People gave us odd looks when we were in the restaurants or bars, Brigitte judged us, and Ethan probably never believed that things could work out between us.
When Sunday comes, Maja drags me out for a walk. I keep waiting, staring at my phone and hoping that it’s not over between me and Ethan.
Its strange how I’m trying to make myself busy for the rest of the day. The painting is nowhere near finished, but when I grab my brush, there is no inspiration, no nothing, just emptiness. It’s like within a day I became a different person, not that talented painter that everyone had been praising.
God, how could I be so stupid? It was Saturday morning; of course Colin could have come in. I can’t lose Ethan now. It's happening again and because of that one mistake he is going to abandon me.
I don’t know what time it is, but I’m trying to sleep when there is a knock at my door. Ethan hasn’t called or texted. It’s Maja.
“Hey, you have a visitor,” she whispers.
“I don’t want to see anyone at the moment.”
“Not even me?” asks a different voice, the voice I know so well. Ethan nods to Maja, who leaves, and he walks in. He closes the door behind him. His hair is ruffled and he looks like he hasn’t had much sleep. I notice black circles under his eyes and that look on his face: a hollow detached look.
I rub my eyes and sit down on the bed, smiling again. Maybe God does exist after all, because I have been praying.
“Hey, you came?” I ask.
His face is blank, revealing nothing at all, no emotions. He looks around and stares at my unfinished work for some time before he sits down on the bed.
“I wasn’t sure what to do. Bethany called; for some reason Colin told her what happened this morning. Usually, he never says anything to her.”
“Oh,” I gasp because that’s all I can manage. His ex-wife. I bet she wasn’t too happy, but it’s not her business.
“Arwen, I think it will be better if we stay away from each other until this whole thing blows over.”
“So you’re breaking up with me? That’s why you’re here, to tell me this, right?” I ask, swallowing the tears. No, I’m not going to cry now, right in front of him. I’m not that weak.
The muscles on his forehead twitch, but he looks at me with those clear amber eyes. “No, Arwen, it’s not a breakup. Colin is my son and I can’t lose him. I’m asking for some time. The opening is next week and I need to travel to a few places. I want to make things easier for everyone.”
“Just tell me, Ethan, that you don’t want to be with me. It’s better for me if you do it now,” I add, not convinced about his intentions. He is lying. He hasn’t said that he loves me. Well, maybe once when he was falling asleep. Deep down he probably doesn’t. All this time I was a fun thing for him to pass the time, some young entertainment.
He doesn’t move, breathing heavily. “Stop it, Arwen. Don’t be immature again. Time, I need some time before we can resume what we had for the sake of my family and your reputation.”
“All right,” I say dryly. He seems so cold and distant. Not like the Ethan that I know at all.
“Good. It’s only until the opening. Then we will see. Colin will realise that this whole thing had nothing to do with him, but he needs to let me explain.”
“That we met in the gallery, that our attraction was instant?” I ask.
“Yes, Arwen, that’s right. I should go. You’re tired and I have work in the morning,” he says, getting up and opening the door. My heart is being sliced to pieces. How can he act like I don’t mean anything to him?
“Bye, Ethan.”
“Bye, Arwen.”
When I hear the door close I no longer hold back the tears. I know that this is the
end. I have lost him. He won’t come back to me. Everything in his life was perfect and now I’ve crushed it all. He called me an emotional mess and he thinks that I deserved being abandoned by my father.
“Arwen, are you all right?” asks Maja, coming in with a cup of tea. I just howl more. “Oh don’t cry, please. It’s going to be okay.”
Ethan
When my alarm buzzes next to my bed in the morning I’m already awake, lying there. I have been up since 3:00 a.m. My conversation with Arwen didn’t go as I planned. She was very upset, but I couldn’t kiss her or touch her. Not after what happened in my apartment. Her face told me that this wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but it was easier that way. My family is as equally important as she is.
I get to the office by eight after working out like crazy, but my head seems somewhere else. My assistant, Cindy, gives me a strange look after I lock myself inside. Five minutes later she arrives with coffee. This is my last week at work. My replacement is starting next week and I believe that he is competent enough to keep everything running smoothly.
“Ethan, I think you should see this,” she says, placing a morning paper on my desk. “Page four, Ethan. I’m sorry. I just thought that I’d warn you.”
“What are you talking about, Cindy?” I ask, angry, and start turning the pages. My eyes widen and blood drains from my face when I see the title.
"Deputy Chief for European Parliament Having Affair with Son's Girlfriend"
I start reading and try to keep breathing at the same time. How did anyone find out about this? Especially the press. It looks like the article has all the details, all the important facts are right. They named Arwen and there is a picture from yesterday of me going to campus.
It looks like Mr. Rivera prefers younger partners. His previous marriage ended when his wife found out that he was having an affair with his young apprentice almost ten years ago.
Our source tells us that Mr. Rivera is moving away from politics and starting his own art-dealing business, taking young Arwen under his wing.
I hide my face in my palms, trying to think.
“I’m sorry, Ethan. Do you want me to get you something?”
“No. No, thanks, Cindy. I need a minute alone.”
When she locks the door behind her I want to slam my head against the desk. Colin must have gone to the media, unless Bethany … No, she wouldn’t have done this. She still cares for me. I reach out for my phone and dial my son’s number.
He picks up.
“Colin,” I bark into the phone.
“Oh, hello, Papa. How are you? Have you read the paper this morning? There is an article there that might interest you.”
I grip the phone tighter, fighting with myself to keep it together.
“This will ruin me, Colin. My career in politics and my new business venture. You didn’t let me explain.”
He laughs, but nothing about it is cheerful and warm. Yes, I have made a mistake, but he didn’t need to go to the press.
“She was mine, Father. Arwen was my girlfriend and you took her away from me.”
“You weren't together,” I argue. “We had one date and I had no idea that she was dating you until she showed up with you in my apartment.”
“Liar. You were fucking her the whole time.”
“Colin, listen to yourself. We were only friends in the beginning. Only after–”
“Whatever, old man. If I can’t have her, then you won’t either.”
He slams the phone down and I want to break something. The rage inside me is unbelievable. I tangle my hair instead. My only son has ruined everything. I try to work, but Cindy starts getting phone calls from the press, asking to speak to me. Security informs her that there are journalists outside. It’s my last week and I don’t want to leave the bitter taste on everyone’s lips. This won’t reflect well on the president; he is in the middle of the term.
People are looking at me when I walk through the corridor, more than I anticipated, and I realise that it’s just the beginning.
Chapter Thirty
Arwen
When I look at my reflection in the morning, my eyes look like I have been beaten up. My face is puffy and swollen. I don’t think I have any tears left. My mother is at home, and I want to talk to her, but this kind of conversation has to be done face-to-face, not over the phone. I don’t know if I should believe in anything Brigitte said. My parents’ marriage was toxic, but I should give Mum the benefit of the doubt. I don’t want to believe that she could do something so unforgivable. Parents normally want to protect their children, but this would mean she cut Ronan off and forced me to accept it.
Maja is not in the flat and I’m glad, enjoying the silence for the first time. I swallow a few spoons of cereal and then put some clothes on. It’s a relatively warm day, but I’m surprised to see so many people outside my building. There are some white vans with people standing, looking like they are waiting for something. They look like reporters. I wonder if there is anything going on campus today that I should know about.
As I step out the door, I adjust my bag on my shoulder and then hear someone shouting and pointing at me. Heads are turning around to face me. Within moments I’m surrounded by reporters and questions are being fired.
“Arwen, can you make a comment about your relationship with Ethan Rivera?”
I stare at them blankly, wondering if my hearing is all right. How could they have found out? How could they know what happened between me and Ethan?
“Miss West, can you confirm that you’re in a relationship with the Director General for the President of the European Parliament?”
Now other students are starting to stare at me and I hear the clicks of the cameras. Panic strikes me, and my head starts spinning. I have to go; I have to speak to Ethan. What the hell is going on?
“What about his son? Have you been seeing him at the same time as his father?”
“Excuse me, I’m late for class,” I say, trying to pull away, but they are like leeches, clutching close to me, draining me out.
“Arwen … hey, Arwen. Are you aware that his earlier marriage broke off because of his affair with a young apprentice?”
There are clicks, more blinding flashes. I manage to push away and then start running. Other students are pointing at me. My heart is pounding behind my ribs. I have only one wish: to find out what the hell is going on. Someone must have leaked information about our relationship to the press.
My legs are aching, my chest burns, but I manage to get to the library. In the building, I turn around and spot a few reporters trying to enter, but the security guards are throwing them out straight away.
Tears are streaming down my face. All of a sudden I feel so lost, paralysed with fear and anxiety. This whole thing is making me sick. I knew that this would happen; maybe Ethan wanted to reveal the truth, to stop the scandal, now that Colin knows.
I shut myself in the restroom and search for my phone, desperately hoping to get some answers. I dial Ethan’s number, trying to ignore the conversations in the bathroom, praying for him to tell me that everything is going to be all right. He doesn’t answer; it goes straight to voicemail, so I leave him a message.
“Ethan? What is going on? The press is outside my house. How did they know about us? Call me!”
I wait for the phone call, but it never comes. Disappointment and anger fill me and I feel like the world has turned against me. I was never supposed to be happy. My breath comes in short gasps. Several minutes later I come out, knowing that I’m going to be late for my lecture and I can’t bring more attention to myself. People are staring at me as I walk through the library to the right building.
The rest of the day feels like a complete nightmare. Reporters follow me everywhere. It looks like someone has tipped them off about my schedule, because they are waiting outside my department building. In the class everyone is bluntly staring at me. Girls that I have never spoken to are asking me about Ethan and Colin.
Som
eone shows me the papers and there it is, a long story about me and Ethan, about us. I’m being compared to the girl from his past, Lucy. In the end I can’t take anymore and I run home. There are more reporters outside my building. When they see me, all the questions and accusations start again.
I lock the door and sit in the living room, trying to think. Finally, after an hour, my phone rings.
“Hello.”
“Arwen, are you all right?”
“Ethan, what the hell is going on? How did the press find out about us?” I ask, crying. It feels so good to hear his voice again. I need to know that he is all right.
“Colin must have contacted them. There was an article in the main paper this morning. The press is outside my work and probably my apartment,” he explains, sounding tired.
“Colin? I can’t believe that he would do that to you,” I say, not wanting to believe in what he is saying. Colin and I weren’t even together, and he’s been running after Valerie for some time.
“He was upset and he wanted to punish me.”
“Ethan,” I whisper. “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing. Don’t do anything for now. Just don’t talk to them. I’ll sort this out. I have to go for now.”
“But, Ethan, your work and”
“Not right now, Arwen. I’m still in the office and I’m extremely busy. The reporters will go away eventually. Trust me, please.”
Then the line goes dead and I stare at the phone for several minutes, speechless. This is a complete mess. Colin, that prick. I can’t bear the fact that he could betray his own father. He has no heart, no conscience.
My phone rings again; the screen shows that it’s my mother. I don’t want to answer or speak to her about what’s happened. She probably already knows. Mum has friends in Belgium and she always follows all the gossip magazines online. I hate to think what must be going through her head. Ethan’s reputation as a rising art dealer is ruined. Everyone will think that he seduced me, used me for my talent.
Illicit Canvas: political romance and stand alone romance Page 23