followed, to see what Rosa had to offer. Rosa pulled Alex by his bicep to the kitchen sink. "I told you boys never to let me catch you cursing. Open!" Rosa inserted a new bright white block of Ivory Soap into Alex's mouth. His eyes got big and filled with tears. Bubbles flowed over his chin. He gagged and cried. "This is what the Devil tastes like," Rosa said. I took a step toward my brother. The smell of the soap made me gag. Rosa turned and yelled at me, "Get out of her." I ran away.
One evening, I squatted in the hall. I assumed the position as punishment for walking into Rosa and Dimka's bedroom. We were forbidden to enter their room, at any time, for any reason. But I needed to tell them that toilet paper was gone in the downstairs bathroom, which I discovered while doing my business, sitting on the toilet. I had to squat in the hall for twenty minutes without getting to wipe myself. Rosa came in and said, "Lucas, your Aunt Sherry is on the phone. She wants to talk to you."
"How are things going there, Sweetheart?" Sherry said. "It shouldn't be too much longer."
I couldn't help myself. I burst into tears. "They made Alex eat soap and they won't let me wipe myself."
The next morning, I sat with my brother in the back seat of Sherry's station wagon, as she drove us down the long gravel driveway and away from Rosa and Dimka's. We managed living with her and her family until we all moved into the big house. From or about the Babics I heard nothing until Rosa contacted me on Facebook.
Sitting on the bench by the lake, with Dimka and Rosa's son and my brother, I understood that Danilo was right. His father probably was capable, given the right circumstance, of killing someone. He probably had killed people in Yugoslavia. I thought he might kill me when he stuffed my head in the toilet. And there I was, fucking with the old man before he even got there.
"I'm trying to remember why I agreed to this," Danilo said. "This is a very bad idea."
"Because I agreed to sponsor your parole," I said.
We sat silently, facing the darkening lake. A group of crows kept up a racket in the upper limbs of a fir tree.
"We could kill him first," Danilo said.
I barely heard him above the noise of the birds.
Alex stood and took two steps back. "What did you say?"
I stood and joined my brother, staring at Danilo.
"Messing with you, Man," Danilo said. "It's a joke."
It made me wonder if Danilo carried a gun. I said, "Let's walk back up. They should be here by now"
When we reached the top of the hill, I saw Rosa and Dimka standing on the porch, at the front door of my house. As we approached, Rosa came stumbling down the stairs, her arms open. She ran to her son and blubbered into his chest. "My baby." He kept his arms wide, away from her body.
I watched Dimka on the porch. He looked down on the scene with a scowl. His face was sunken and weathered. He had gone bald on top, with a shiny dome and thin scraggly gray hair on the sides hanging down to his shoulders. "Big rich man keep guests waiting," he said in his booming voice.
"Nice to see you, too, Dimka," I called to him. "How long has it been?"
"Never long enough," he said.
I looked at Alex, and we both raised our eyebrows.
Neither Dimka nor Danilo acknowledged the other's presence.
Rosa side-stepped and hugged my brother, and then me. "I am so proud of you, Lukey," she said into my ear. "You've done well for yourself."
"Let's all go inside and get some drinks," I called. "Alex, if you would lead the way and get everyone seated and set up."
Alex climbed the stairs. At the top, he patted Dimka on the shoulder hello and went inside. Dimka followed him. I let Rosa and Danilo go in front of me.
When I came back into the living room with water, ice tea, and sodas, two chairs faced the sofa. Alex sat on one end of the sofa, Dimka on the other end, with Rosa in the middle. Danilo was in one of the chairs. All were silent, looking at their hands in their laps. I offered drinks and sat. I nodded to my brother.
"It is good to reunited with you all," Alex began. "I'm sure each of us has our own reason for being here today. I thought we might go around and say what our purpose is for coming."
"What?" Dimka said. "What are you talking about?"
"Lucas, maybe you can begin, since it is your house and your meeting." Alex waved his hand at me.
I took a long drink of water, put down the glass, and sat forward in my chair. "Rosa, Dimka, I welcome you, as family. And I have some serious issues that I would like to bring forth and hopefully resolve. If not, at least I would like to get them out in the open. I have carried them for a long time."
"What is he talking about?" Dimka said to his wife.
"I thought we were having as reunion," Rosa said to me. "We're here to celebrate seeing you boys again, for Danilo being out, and your new success, Lukey."
"You guys remember when Alex and I stayed with you, at your farm, when we were kids? Things happened then that hurt me and my brother. Some of your actions were abusive. I think we should talk about that. I'd like to tell you what that did to me, how I feel about it, and get your side, what you were thinking and feeling."
"What the hell are you trying to do?" Dimka shouted. "This is waste of time. I knew I should not drive here. Not for this."
"Shut the fuck up, Old Man," Danilo said. He, too, moved forward in his chair and sat up straight. "Maybe I'll go next. I'm here to kill you, motherfucker. You kicked the shit out of me for years when I was a kid. Most of the time for no reason, except that you are a sick, vicious bastard. Then you threw me out on the street with nothing. Both of you. I was fifteen years old. You have no idea what I had to do to survive. You don't deserve to sit there and celebrate anything. You don't deserve to breathe."
"Whoa, cool off." Alex was the next one to find the edge of his seat. He tugged at his white clerical collar again. "I think we can do this in a calm and respectful way. For the love of God and Jesus Christ."
"I will not sit here and take this." Dimka twisted his body, pushed and pulled to try to get to his feet.
"Sit down!" Danilo said, pointing a pistol in the direction of his parents.
"Baby, what are you doing? Oh, no!" Rosa screamed.
"Shut up, Mother. You sit down. Both of you." Danilo kept the gun pointed at them. "You, two. Lucas, Alex, I want you to leave. Get out of the house."
"Danilo, what the hell? This is my house," I said.
"Now! Out!"
I stood and waited for Alex to get up. I glanced at Dimka, who sat bent over his knees, his face clenched in rage. I followed my brother to the door. "Danilo, man, this is bad. This is not an answer to anything. You're going back to prison."
Alex said, "Remember what we talked about, Danilo."
"Get out!" Danilo yelled.
My brother and I left the house. We walked down the step to the sidewalk.
"Where are we supposed to go? What are we supposed to do?" Alex said.
'I don't know. I think I'm going to puke. What do you think he is going to do? Should we call the police? “I said.
Alex sat on the wall in front of my house. I sat next to him and looked toward the lake.
"Give it a few minutes," Alex said. "I don't get that Danilo is crazy, stupid, or desperate enough to shoot his parents, in cold blood, in your living room, with witnesses around. He doesn't have that kind of spirit. I had a long conversation with him. He told me his plans now that he is out. Let's have a bit of faith."
The cloud cover over the water had broken and shafts of sunlight shone through. A water skier, with one hand raised as if waving, followed a boat a few hundred feet offshore.
I heard footsteps on the stairs behind me and turned. Dimka came stomping down. "Ungrateful fucking piss ant," he said. He gave us a quick glance and turned up the sidewalk. I noticed he still limped, even more severely. He bounced down the street, cursing in the wind, his long stringy hair flying out behind h
is head, like an oily rag. He got into the car, screeched off, and turned right at the end of the block.
"What does that mean?" my brother said.
"Dimka is not dead." I hopped off the wall and turned to face the front windows of my house.
"What about those two he left inside?" Alex swung his head toward the windows.
"No gunshots? That's a good sign," I said.
"Maybe Dimka strangled them both."
"Snapped their necks."
I took a step toward my brother and put my hand on his shoulder. "You know, A., this is not at all how I thought this would turn out, although I have no idea what I imagined. It was a long time ago. Life goes on. Those people don't matter anymore, if they ever did. It was a bad experience that could have been much worse. And I got to tell them my truth, for what the hell it's worth."
"Could you expect more?" Alex said.
"True, Little Brother. I'm feeling good right now." I turned toward the stairs. "Let's go up, bust through the door of my own fucking house, and join whatever celebration they have going in there. Dimka’s gone, for God's sake."
"The Lord gives and the Lord takes. But mostly, the Lord gives," my brother smiled. "Lead the way, Lukey."
Answer to Dimka Page 2