by Allie Faye
I push the thought to the back of my mind and try to survive the day until lunch. Some people are staring and whispering behind my back, while others let me know exactly what they think of me. “She screwed her best friend’s boyfriend. I hear she fucks older men.” The rumors continue from there. “Now she is fucking Kai Cooper. I bet Raven watches them.”
I feel sick and ready to leave early by the time lunch rolls around. Raven has been so nice to me and now people are spreading more rumors about her, because of me. I don’t bother getting a tray. There is no way I can eat right now.
Raven and Kai are already sitting at their table laughing about something. They quickly stop talking when I take my seat across from them, and it makes me weary. Were they talking about me too? Are they getting a kick out of my situation?
Raven must sense my unease. “Kai was just telling me how Khloe gave you a makeover yesterday. I am glad you got the job. She is a handful, but she is the cutest kid ever. I would love to watch her if I didn’t work at The Grind, and if Kelli didn’t hate me.”
“She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t like you very much,” Kai chimes in. I wonder if his mom is why they aren’t together. I want to ask, but I feel out of line doing so.
“She totally hates me,” Raven says with a snort.
A ball of paper comes hurling toward me. It lands on the table between Kai and me. He unravels it, takes one look, and shakes his head.
“What is it?” I ask, knowing it most likely says something about me.
“Nothing,” Kai mutters angrily, tossing it over his shoulder. “You want to get out of here?” I figure he is talking to Raven, but when I look at him, he is staring at me waiting for an answer.
“Actually, I do.”
“We’ll see you later, Raven,” he says to her. I was expecting her to be coming with us, but she only waves with a mischievous smile. I have never skipped school before, but there is something about Kai that makes me want to live a little more freely than I have been.
“We will go towards the office like we are signing out for lunch, but not. Okay?” I nod and follow his lead. We make it to the parking lot without anyone stopping us.
I feel like such a rebel when we pull out of the parking lot. “Now what?” I question as we drive onto the highway leading out of town.
“We have a few hours until we have to pick up Khloe-bug. We could go to my friend Jake’s place. He’s cool, you’ll like him. He plays the drums in Cooper’s Religion. We hold rehearsals in his garage. That’s where we are going actually,” he decides.
Chapter 10
Jake’s place turns out to be a really old farmhouse on the outskirts of town. He lives in an apartment over his parent’s garage where Cooper’s Religion rehearses. Before we get out of the car, Kai tells me a little about Jake. He says that Jake’s parents were killed a few years ago in a car wreck, his senior year to be exact. He cannot bring himself to go in the house so he stays in the garage instead. The story is really depressing.
A guy, I am assuming to be Jake, comes from the garage with a cigarette hanging from his bottom lip. This guy is covered in tattoos. His ears are pierced from top to bottom. Jake has his dirty blond hair in a long braid slung over his bare shoulder, and it almost touches the top of his jeans it is so long. I have always been jealous of men with better hair than mine.
Kai and I get out of the car and they greet with a fist bump. “Jake, this is Kat…Kat, this is Jake.”
“Damn man, you breaking off a piece of that?”
Kai punches him and says, “Don’t be a dickhead.”
“Oh, you like her.” He winks at Kai. “Don’t worry, Kat, when you get tired of the boy,” he teases, and hooks his thumb over to Kai, “I will be here to show you all about a real man.”
“Oh, you know where I can find a real man. Please tell me where this real man is?” I retort.
“She’s got jokes. I like her.”
“She sings too,” Kai brags softly.
“No shit.” He snuffs his cigarette out on the block wall of the garage.
“Come on.” Kai takes my hand and leads me into their rehearsal room.
I take a seat on a nearby leather couch. I have to say I am impressed. I was expecting this room to look like something out of frat house…empty pizza boxes, beer bottles, and dirty socks. The room is clean, and the instruments seem to be well cared for. The drum set is on display in the center of the room with the band’s logo in bright red gothic lettering.
Jake goes over to a mini-fridge in the corner and tosses Kai a soda. “What’s your poison kitty Kat?” He looks to me with a suggestive brow.
“I’ll take a water if you have one.”
He brings the bottle to me instead of throwing it. Flopping down beside of me on the couch, he drapes his arm behind me, letting it hang from the back of the couch. “So, you and Kai...” He digs his elbow in my side.
“I watch his sister.” I shrug. I am so lame. Kai is watching us, but I don’t think he is listening to our conversation.
“Hey man, how’s Raven? She hasn’t been around lately.”
“Good. Busy. Working,” Kai answers coldly. I wonder what that is all about.
“You ever heard Kai sing?”
“Briefly, in the car.” I smile at the memory of the two of us relaxed and the sound of our voices melding in perfect harmony.
“You should come to our next show.” Jake winks at me and jumps up from the couch.
Needing something to do, I untwist the lid to my water and take a hard drink. Being choked, I cough loudly. Kai rushes over, patting me on the back gently.
“You okay?”
“Just went down the wrong pipe,” I mutter.
After deciding I am fine, Kai and Jake excuse themselves, something about Jake needing help changing the battery in his truck. I think they are lying but whatever. I wander around the room checking out their instruments and various pictures of them performing. Kai looks so at home on stage. My fingers brush over a photo of him, Raven, Jake, and Kirk—Kai’s older brother. Raven’s eyes are locked with Kirk’s, but she is hugged up to Kai. Interesting.
Becoming bored quickly, I go over to the microphone and pick up the notebook on the stool. I flip open the first page—this must be Kai’s or the band’s lyric book. I flip the book open, finding an unfinished thought or song.
The weight of your love is bearing down on me
I can’t breathe
Suffocate me
Your smile is my number one addiction
Making you laugh is my obsession
I pray that it will end quickly
Suffocate me
Fast as you can wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze real tight
Suffocate me
I’ll be your pain and you’ll be my biggest regret
I hurriedly close the notebook and shuffle back over to the couch as I hear Kai and Jake’s voices getting closer. Did Kai write that? I find the more time I spend with Kai Cooper, the more questions I seem to have.
“You ready to go?” Kai looks at me from the doorway. I nod and smile.
When I reach him at the car, his eyes are red and glossed over. If I didn’t know any better, I would think he is high. I march over to the driver’s side and shove my finger in his chest. “Kai Cooper, you aren’t driving me while stoned.” Jake cracks up laughing, watching from the stairs to his apartment.
“Not funny, asshole.” I spin around and point at him. He holds arms up and backs up the stairs slowly with a big shit-eating grin on his face.
Kai grins and reaches his keys over to me.
“Thank you.” I happily take the keys, his fingers brushing against mine.
Kai holds me captive with his eyes, staring at me intently. His forehead comes to rest on mine. He is breathing heavy. “Don’t hurt my car,” he whispers, backing away from me smiling.
He gets in on the passenger side, and I get in the driver’s seat, adjusting the seat and mirrors for my hei
ght.
Once we are on the road, I tell him, “You could have just told me what you were doing, Kai. I wouldn’t have been angry or judged you…ya know you don’t have to lie to me about who you are.”
He seems to ponder on my words for a few minutes and then he asks, “Did you want to smoke with us? I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.” He grins and those dimples, sweet Lord.
“You keep telling me–I’m not that kind of girl…what does that even mean, Kai?”
He bangs his head against the window and sighs. “Kat, I don’t mean it in an insulting way. It’s a compliment, all right.”
“Is Raven like that? Is she one of those girls? Is that why you broke up?” The questions fire rapidly from my mouth like a damn machine gun.
“I don’t want to talk about Raven with you.” He turns the radio up loudly and a tear stings at the corner of my eye. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I thought we were becoming friends. Maybe I pushed too hard, too fast, but I can’t help but wonder what the deal is with them. They act like a couple but not.
We reach town and still have a half hour until we pick up Khloe. My stomach rumbles and Kai laughs at me. We both agree on the Dairy Bar for a burger and milkshake. I go through the drive thru. Kai does not need to be seen in public right now.
I pull in at the park near Khloe’s daycare. It’s cool out but if we sit in the sun, it won’t be so bad. Kai and I settle at a picnic table, and I eat quietly. Kai on the other hand is quite entertaining. He bites into his burger and a guttural groan rips from his throat. I have to choke back my laughter. He devours his burger and half of mine. I was afraid to tell him no because he was eating like a beast.
Kai checks his watch, takes cologne from the glove box of his car, and sprays himself. “Sniff me,” he orders me.
I step in close to him. The top of my head reaches the middle of his neck. Inhaling deeply, I feel intoxicated by the smell of him. “You’re good.” I step away quickly. Then I add, “But you need this. I forgot I had it.” I produce Visine from my purse and tuck it in his waiting hand.
After convincing me that he is fine to drive, I give his keys over and we pick up Khloe.
When she sees that I am in the car, she starts jumping and clapping. Kai has to tell her to sit down three times, so he can strap her in her car seat. “Pway Khloe music, Kai,” she shrieks once we are on the road.
Kai groans but does as his little sister wishes, turning on what I call bubblegum pop music. I look back and see her trying to sing, it is so cute. Her feet are kicking the back of my seat softly, tapping to the beat of the music.
~**~
The rest of the week and the next, Kai and I have fallen into an easy routine of him picking me up before school and driving me home when he is able after I watch his sister. We have even hung out on one of my off nights. He said he needed help with his History paper. He even met Mrs. Jennings. She said, “Now that boy is a looker.”
I have started taking care of Percy for her. She had a bad fall a few days ago, and she is in the hospital. She may need a hip replacement. I wanted to go visit her, but I haven’t had a chance to.
I am watching Khloe again this evening. I can’t help but feel like Kai and I are getting closer.
His mom is great. She is always asking me about school and trying to get to know me better. When she asks me about my mom though, I always change the subject or avoid the topic all together.
Kelli left me detailed instructions for Khloe’s schedule this week. I have fixed her an after-school snack. She is eating grapes and yogurt while watching The Disney Channel. Her dinner is already in the refrigerator. I only have to warm it up and there is a plate for me too. Kai left soon after we arrived. I don’t know where he went. It really isn’t any of my business.
Khloe and I spend most of the evening coloring and building with Legos. It feels strange being here in this huge house just the two of us. After having dinner with Khloe, I give her a bath, and read to her until she falls asleep. I still have another hour or so until I can go home. Now I am bored and lonely.
Leaving Khloe’s door cracked, I start down the hall and wonder where Kai’s room is. I could take a quick peek. I quickly decide against snooping when I hear someone banging around in the kitchen. Going downstairs expecting to see Kai, I am startled by his older brother—Kirk.
Chapter 11
Seeing Kirk Cooper is almost like looking at Kai minus the heart stopping dimples. Kirk has short-cropped sandy brown hair. His build is slightly thicker being he is older. He looks me over and grins widely. “Who are you?”
“I’m the babysitter, for Khloe.”
“So, you’re Katie?” He asks, putting his hot wings into the oven.
“Yeah that’s me,” I answer timidly. I wasn’t aware he still lived at home.
“Are you dating my little brother?” He emphasizes the word little.
“No.”
He walks over to where I am standing awkwardly by the bottom of the stairs. “Good, you can keep me company until my food is ready.” I go over to the counter and take a seat as I watch in disgust as he chugs the milk from the carton. It is running down his cheek. Then he burps, loudly. Gross.
His eyes narrow on me. “How old are you?”
“Seventeen,” I answer automatically.
“Damn, always too young for me. When you turn eighteen, I could take you out sometime.” He smiles over his shoulder at me and winks, checking on his food.
“A watched pot never cooks ya know,” I tease him avoiding the comment he just made about taking me out.
“Smartass,” he chirps.
Kirk works in the coalmines with their father, whom I have yet to meet.
Kelli calls the home phone line and apologizes that she is running late. Kai still hasn’t come home, so I take Kirk up on his offer to watch TV with him.
He settles in the leather recliner, and I curl up on the couch resting my head on the arm. Kirk turns on some fishing show on the hunting channel that nearly puts me to sleep, but it beats sitting by myself with nothing to do.
Kai comes in shortly after and looks furious. “Let’s go, Kat,” he grits through clenched teeth.
His attitude shocks me. What did I do? I must have a puzzled expression on my face because Kirk answers my unspoken question. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Whatever sibling rivalry these two have going on…I’m not getting involved. I go into the kitchen, grabbing my bag and slipping my shoes on. I overhear Kai telling Kirk to listen for Khloe, and then I hear my name said angrily. Kirk says something back, but I can’t hear what it is. I hear Kai storming toward the kitchen loudly, so I scurry to the garage to wait by his car.
He doesn’t even look at me when he barks for me to get in. I get in, shutting the door quietly and buckling my seatbelt. “Did I do something, Kai? Are you mad at me?”
“It’s just... It’s nothing, let it go.” He grips the steering wheel tightly. So tight that all the color drains from his hands.
I turn on the radio and he quickly shuts it off. Okay…he doesn’t want to talk, and he doesn’t want to listen to music. Maybe he needs peace and quiet.
I lay my head back against the seat, trying to think of anything but Kai and the millions of questions I have about him.
Kai doesn’t say anything when I get out of his car. I won’t have to talk to him again until Wednesday after school. I doubt I will even see him again until then, well I take that back…my stuff is in his locker, good thing I know the combination, so I can get my stuff out easily.
My mom is already sleeping soundly in her room. I peeked in on her, feeling guilty about how things are between us, but that is what she always does. She does something wrong, and I end up being the one to apologize for something I didn’t do.
Surprisingly, Kai is waiting for me the next morning when I walk out my front door. “I finished painting for you.”
“Um, thanks,” I say, shrugging past him. I don’t want to ride with
him and deal with his mood swings today. “See you at lunch,” I call over my shoulder to him as he goes to get in his car.
He starts his car and creeps slowly down the road next to me as I walk along the cracked sidewalk in the cold. The passenger window rolls halfway down. “Get in the car.”
“No,” I snap at him.
This continues for another block—him telling me to get in and me telling him to piss off.
I think he has given up and decided to leave me be, but he jerks the car sideways in front of me on the sidewalk. He’s gone mad. He could’ve hit me. Further down the street, I see Penny and Becks eyeing our direction and decide I’d rather get in with cranky pants than face the two of them.
The passenger door swings open. “Get in, I’m not taking no for an answer, Katie.” He has an angry scowl on his face, which only makes him look cute because I can see his dimples.
I get in and close the door softly.
“Listen, I’m sorry about how I acted last night. My brother and me, it’s complicated and I don’t like to talk about it. But just promise me, when he is around, you’ll stay away from him. He’s not good. If he comes home while you are there, and Khloe is asleep, go to my room and wait for me. Just don’t go around him.”
“Why?” I demand. If his brother is so horrible, he needs to tell me why.
“I can’t tell you. I just need you to trust me.”
“Fine,” I growl, conceding, being left with more questions than answers. This seems to be a reoccurring theme with Kai Cooper.
As we pass by Becks and Penny, Kai revs his engine loudly, making Becks jump and I giggle-snort.
“Did you just snort?” Kai flashes his dimples my way.
“No,” I deny it though I know he heard it. We get parked and again, Kai takes my hand in his.
“You totally snorted,” he says as we walk into school.
“Whatever,” I grumble at him, and he squeezes my hand with a laugh.