by A. L Long
Wiping off the bar, I stepped over to Hawk and asked, “You ready for that coffee?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied with that gorgeous smile.
Folding the bar towel in half and draping it over the faucet, I rounded the bar and took Hawk by the hand. His hand was so big that I wasn’t able to get mine around it, but he got the hint that I wanted him to follow me. It was three o’clock in the morning and the local diner where most of the customers went after the bar closed didn’t seem to be the best place to talk. Even though I didn’t know him very well, I was pretty sure it was safe to invite him to my place for coffee.
As we walked to the back of the bar, I could tell that Hawk was wondering where I was leading him. Looking over my shoulder I said, “I live above the bar. It’s small, but it is nice.
“Lead the way, then,” he replied.
Leading him, we exited through the back door and headed up the stairs on the outside of the building. Having to exit the bar to get to my apartment was something that I wished was different. The lighting wasn’t very good. The only light was from the lamp I placed on a small table in front of the window. It was better than not having any light at all. Alleys were like a magnet, drawing in weird people. Reaching in my pocket, I pulled out my key to open the door.
When I told Merrill that I needed to find a place to live, he offered me the tiny apartment above the bar. He said it wasn’t much, but the rent was cheap and it was clean. He was right, it was perfect for me. The one-bedroom apartment was small. It had a tiny kitchen that opened up to the living room, which was big enough for only a couch and a chair. The bedroom wasn’t much bigger, but at least it had a queen-sized bed, a dresser, and best of all, an attached bathroom. I also liked that it had a big window in the living room that overlooked the small town.
As I closed the door, I turned to Hawk and said, “Make yourself at home. I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”
“Sounds good,” he said, taking a seat on the couch.
Pulling the coffee from the cupboard and placing a couple of heaping scoops in the paper filter, I filled the pot with water and then poured it in the top. Once I could see that the coffee was beginning to brew, I made my way over to where Hawk was sitting. I guess I didn’t realize how big he actually was. The way he was sitting on my couch, it made it look smaller than it actually was. His body was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his lap and his hands crossed between them. Feeling the need to keep my distance, I sat in the small chair beside the couch.
Crossing my legs Indian style, I glanced over to him, and asked, “So you said that your mom died, that must be really hard for you.”
“Nah. My mom and I weren’t very close. I’m mostly here for my little brother,” he confessed.
“What, happened… to your mom?”
“She just made some choices that in the end cost her her life. Can’t change the past.”
I got the feeling that Hawk wasn’t willing to share with me why he and his mom weren’t close. I didn’t want to pry into his personal life. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to know more about him, it was because I didn’t want him asking questions of mine. Even though I had already made up a fairy tale story, I needed to be careful with how much I shared. Hearing the beep on the coffee maker, I pushed from my chair and headed back towards the kitchen.
Pulling two mugs from the cupboard, I looked over to him and asked, “Do you take anything in your coffee? Milk? Sugar?”
“Nah, just black,” he stated.
Doctoring my own coffee, I walked with both cups in hand to where he was sitting. Handing him his cup, I felt the brush of his hand over mine. It amazed me how a big alpha-male type could have such a soft touch. His hand lingered over mine a little longer than needed, but I didn’t mind. It was only after he removed his hand from mine that I diverted my gaze elsewhere.
Leaving his side, I took my place once again in the little chair. Just as I was about to sit, I heard him ask, “So what in the hell brought you to Stillwater?”
Taking a deep breath, I began to explain. “Just needed a change. I love New York, but it was getting too mundane.”
“So of all places you could go, you chose Stillwater. This town is as unexciting as you can get,” he stated.
“Yeah, but it’s different, I have to at least give it a chance.”
Shaking his head, I could see that either he didn’t believe me or thought I was crazy. “You know, not everybody comes to Stillwater for a change. It’s not exactly the place that would come up if you Googled small towns. So there has to be another reason,” he argued.
“Well, my friend back in New York knew that I wanted a change and she told me about this place. She said they were looking for a good bartender. So I just went for it. I thought what the hell,” I said, hoping it would satisfy his question.
“So, I need to ask, I sense a hint of an accent in your voice, Can I ask where you are from?” Hawk asked.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I thought to myself. I had been trying so hard to change my voice so that my accent wouldn’t be noticed. I wasn’t sure what to tell him. So I just went with the first thing that came to mind. “I don’t think I have an accent. Maybe it comes from being everywhere. I traveled a lot when I was a kid.”
“So was your dad in the military or something?” he asked.
“Not exactly. How about a refill?” I asked, rising to my feet, knowing I needed to get away from this conversation.
“Nah, I’m good,” he said as he walked up behind me.
I could feel the heat in my body rise the closer he got. If he got any closer, I knew I would spontaneously combust. His scent was indescribable, the way it filled the space between us. The tingle between my legs was growing and the wetness there was beginning to emerge. When he placed his hands on my shoulders, I just about lost it. It was the softest touch I had ever felt.
When I turned my body to face him, his hand caressed my cheek lightly until it was replaced with a light kiss. My eyes closed, taking in the feel of him being so close to me. It wasn’t until his lips touched mine that I fell apart. The strength of his arms wrapped around me as our kiss deepened. A shallow moan escaped my mouth, sending a vibration between our entwined tongues. Everything inside me was telling me to back away from him, but I couldn’t move. All I wanted was to feel more of what he was giving. His hands traced the curve of my ass before he had me lifted from the tile floor. It didn’t take long for my legs to wrap around his waist. Trailing kisses along my jaw line to the base of my neck, his assault on my body continued.
There was nothing more that I wanted to do but take him in. My head fell back, soaking in the tenderness of his soft lips on my skin. One kiss after the other, he trailed them down my body, stopping at the top of my chest where the point of no return was waiting to be explored. As much as I wanted to tell him to stop, my body was telling him, “Please don’t quit.” Lifting me high enough, he gently placed my ass on the counter. Working his hands up my body, they found their place at the hem of my t-shirt before he lifted it up and off of me. My breathing was deep, waiting for his next move.
With a gentle touch, Hawk placed his hand on my cheek and said softly, “I am going to have to fuck you, doll, and just to let you know, ‘no’ is not an option.”
Even if I could tell him no, there was no way I would ever want to. Taking my hands in his, he took me by my wrists and placed them behind my back, causing my breasts to push forward. While one hand had a hold of my wrist behind my back, the other expertly unfastened the front clasp of my bra. My breasts fell free and were exposed, pert and ready to be consumed. Hawk’s mouth lowered to the sensitized nipple of my right breast, which caused my head to tip backwards. The way he worked his tongue, sucking and licking the hard bud, was unlike anything I had ever felt before. While his lips were toying with my sensitized nipples, his hands found the top button of my shorts. Lifting my butt off of the counter, he pulled them down my thighs until they landed on the hard floor.
The lace of my sexy thong snapped as he took the fragile material between his fingers and ripped them off. His animalistic manner set my body soaring as he brought them to his nose and breathed in my scent and then stuffed the shattered lace in his pocket. With a mischievous grin, he whispered in my ear, “Are you ready to be fucked, doll?”
Those weren’t the words that I had expected and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be taken by this man. Even though I wasn’t a virgin, the one and only time I had ever had sex wasn’t a memory I wanted to remember. If my parents ever knew how I lost my virginity, they would be rolling in their graves. As my thoughts drifted, Hawk’s hands also did. His movement was so quick that I didn’t have time to think before he had my body turned and bent over the small counter. I could feel the hardness of his cock as he pushed it against my bare ass. The way he pressed against me, I knew it would just be a matter of time before he would be filling me, coating his shaft with my wetness.
I heard the sound of his zipper before his pants fell to the floor. As he leaned closer to my ear, he once again confessed his intentions, “God, you are so wet, beautiful, and the sight of your pretty little ass has me so hard that I can already feel your tight pussy.”
“What are you waiting for?” I asked, knowing if he didn’t take me soon, I would be unleashing my arousal any second just from his commanding voice.
Closing my eyes, I felt the tip of his cock gliding up and down my slick folds. Just when I thought he was ready to plunge deep inside, he pulled away and said, “Hold tight, baby.”
Standing with my legs parted and my upper body leaning over the counter, I looked behind me to see that be was bent over with his jeans in his hands, searching for what I could only assume was a condom. I was thankful that he was at least smart enough to protect us from an unnecessary mistake. Hearing the rip of the wrapper, I settled back on the counter and waited for him to roll it on.
When I looked back over to him, my eyes were automatically drawn to the size of his cock. I took a deep breath, knowing that I might not be able to fully take him. And that it was going to hurt, especially having been without sex for so long. Focusing on him, I watched as he gently took hold of my hip and pulled my body closer to his. “Lift up to your toes, baby,” I heard him request behind me.
Placing my palms on the cold counter, I braced myself as I rose to my tiptoes. The position of his cock and the added height of my ass allowed him to enter me. The pressure of his impressive cock pushing inside me was almost too much to handle. I wanted to push against him, but knew that I needed to take this slow. “God damn, baby girl, you are so tight,” he confessed as he continued his slow movements inside me.
If he only knew that he was only the second man that I had been with. Actually, I would have to say the first one, considering my first time was with a boy. A small moan radiated through my lips as he pushed even deeper inside my tight channel. With one hand on my leg, he moved the other to my breast. With him tweaking my nipple between his fingers, my release came before he fully entered me. It had been so long, my body could no longer hold on. “Holy fuck, darlin’, you feel so fuckin’ good,” he said.
Hawk’s hand wandered up my body, following the curve of my spine before it settled where my loose pony was. With one tug of my hair tie, my hair fell on my shoulders as he raked his fingers through the long locks. Tipping my head back, he whispered in my ear. “Please tell me you’ve been fucked before?”
With a deep sigh, I muttered, “Once,” hoping that my confession wouldn’t make him stop.
“Well, my dick loves your tight pussy,” he said.
“Well, my pussy loves your big dick.” I normally wouldn’t be talking so boldly, but the way I was feeling, I knew I was bound to have another orgasm before he had his first.
Even though the grip he had on my hair was causing me a little discomfort, the pleasure he was giving me outweighed it ten to one. The harder he pulled my head back, using it as a way to push deeper inside me, the fuller I became. It was only after he thrust one last time that I knew he met his own release. Loosening the grip he had on my head, his body relaxed and cradled mine. His palms took their place next to mine before he placed them on top. It was an affectionate move on his part, and was quickly lost when he pulled from me, leaving me wanting more.
“I need to get out of here, busy day tomorrow,” he admitted.
Before I could protest, he was out the door, with no other indication that he would see me tomorrow or that he even wanted to. It didn’t matter because I knew the drill. ‘Fuck ‘em and forget ‘em.’ Typical male. I always managed to find them. Either that, or they knew how to spot a desperate girl. This was the main reason for my bitchy attitude. If they thought for one second that you were unobtainable, you wouldn’t need to worry about them coming on to you. Silly me, how could I have possibly thought that this guy was any different.
Grabbing what was left of my clothes, I headed to the bathroom to take a much needed shower. I needed to wash the guilt I was feeling off of my body. It wasn’t because I felt guilty for having sex with a man I hardly knew. It was because I just got used.
CHAPTER FIVE
Hawk
I felt like such an ass. I’d been so used to one night stands that I did the one thing I had always done, get a good fuck and hightail it out of there before they started getting all clingy and shit. It was my way, only this time, I felt like shit. The look on Paige’s face said it all. As soon as I closed that door behind me, I knew she was hurt. I should have turned back and knocked on her door and explained. Instead, I walked away.
Getting in my Mustang, I drove up the main street until I came upon a place I thought I would never come back to. Pulling up to the curb, I looked over to the small house that now had boarded up windows and a big sign on the door that I assumed said, “Condemned. No trespassing.’ A home that should have been filled with love and happiness. Only this house was filled with pain and sadness. A whole lot of pain.
Reaching for the door handle, I opened the door and headed towards the rundown house. As I rounded the car, I remembered I had a flashlight in the glove box. Unlocking the door, I reached inside and popped open the glove compartment. Pulling the flashlight out, I relocked the door and walked across the street to the small house. The grass had been overtaken by weeds that must have been at least a foot high. You would have thought that the city would have at least mowed them down to keep the appearance of the town looking like they gave a damn.
As I walked up the slanted steps, which I thought for sure were going to split in two, I looked around to make sure there wasn’t anyone else around. The last thing I needed was to get caught being somewhere I wasn’t supposed to be. Walking across the rickety porch, I looked between the boards that had been nailed across the windows. Unable to see anything, I jumped off the end of the wooden platform and headed to the back of the house. It was then that I remembered the basement window my brother and I used to sneak out of. It was the only window that there wasn’t a lock on, at least one that worked. Crouching down on my haunches, I pulled hard on the window a few times until it finally opened. Rolling over to my stomach, I began inching my way through the small window. It was much easier getting in through the window some fifteen years ago than it was now. I guess I should have taken that into account before I attempted to fit through the small space. Turning my shoulders at an angle, I was finally able to squeeze my body in. Landing on an old box, I lowered myself to the concrete floor.
The musty smell along with the rancid smell of dry blood hit me. I knew it was mine, to be exact. Reaching up to the window, I pulled it closed to make sure there was no sign that someone had entered. I began taking the steps to the main floor as slowly as possible. Who knew how stable the wooden steps would be after all these years? The last thing I wanted was to die in this shit hole. Safely at the top of the stairs, I looked to the heavens and thanked God I made it. Opening the door, I heard the familiar sound of the door creak. It didn’t matter
how much grease I put on that damn door, it never stop creaking.
The house was completely dark, so I twisted the head of the flashlight until the light came on. From the looks of everything, it seemed like most of the fixtures from the old house had been stripped off the walls and ceiling. On some of the walls colorful graffiti had been painted on them that had to have taken a lot of time to paint. Some of them were quite good. It made me wonder what else went on in this house besides abuse and neglect. Based on the amount of art on the walls, I would speculate that gang members took over the house until it was seized by the government.
There were so many bad memories in this house, I wasn’t even sure what the hell I was doing here. I guess in the back of my mind, I was punishing myself for the way things turned out for me. Even though my attitude changed once I enlisted, there was still one thing that didn’t, and that was the way I treated women. Maybe I was more like my dad than I wanted to admit. After everything he did to my mom, you would think I would never want to be like him. He hit her so many times when I was a kid. I remembered every single one of them, only because every time I tried to stop him, I got it as well, only worse. Every fist that came in contact with my body made me hate my mom more and more. Instead of taking us away from that shit, she just took it day after day. I thought for sure that after the dozens of times she ended up in the hospital, she had enough and would finally leave.