Could their child survive if born this early? She wiped perspiration from her forehead. Look at what you’re doing to yourself, Beth. They’re Braxton Hicks, and you’ve got yourself all keyed up over it.
“Beth.” Jonah opened the door. His eyes moved to the papers in the floor, the pen in her hand, and the red marks on the calendar.
She smiled. “Sorry. I’m getting clumsier with each passing day.”
“Not a problem.” He picked up the mess, sorting out her meeting notes from the invoices.
She peered out the door.
With the exception of her and Jonah and Mattie and her husband, Gideon, everyone else attending was an employee.
Gideon stood next to Mattie, one hand on her back as they talked with Lillian. Gideon’s eyes reflected such joy, and he looked vibrant and strong. He’d been given another clean bill of health a few weeks back. There was no trace of the rare cancer that had tried to destroy him. Mattie’s return to Apple Ridge had allowed Gideon and her to face the truth that they loved each other enough to face an uncertain future together.
Beth thought about Levi. He wasn’t here, but he’d been out of his neck brace for a few weeks now, another tale of woe turned into triumph. She could remember trials and triumphs in the life of almost everyone she knew.
Still, her heart beat faster and faster. Surely she and Jonah would have a triumph too. In fact, a beautiful little triumph to cherish for the rest of their days. But one common thread ran through each victory: no one had ignored their symptoms while hoping for the best.
She laid the pen on her desk. “Jonah, honey.”
He looked up from the mess of papers on the floor, and the confidence in his eyes turned to concern. “Something wrong?”
She shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
He moved toward her. “Do you need to be seen?”
“Probably not.” She hated to cause the worry she saw in Jonah’s eyes. “But maybe we—” Suddenly Beth felt a jolt, as if the baby was sideways. Another contraction tightened across her stomach, stealing her breath. She clutched Jonah’s hand.
He grabbed the phone. “I’m calling the midwife.”
A gust of frigid air thrashed against Levi as he left the barn, leading the last horse toward Daniel’s trailer.
Daniel had pen in hand and a forearm planted firmly on the papers piled on the hood of the truck. “She’s number twenty-six fourteen, right?”
Tip sat inside the cab, talking on his cell phone.
“Technically,”—Levi patted the mare’s strong cheek—“her name is Angel.”
Like nearly everything in his life these days, she was a source of memories that connected Levi to Sadie. Tobias and Sadie had sat on a fence while Levi worked with Angel, and they’d each ridden her, helping him make sure the horse listened to women and children almost as easily as she listened to him.
He directed Angel up the ramp and into the trailer and closed the gate. One more task accomplished, and that meant he was one step closer to his date tonight with Sadie—an evening he hoped would change both of their futures.
After their kiss six days ago, he could no longer ignore the truth: he loved her. He couldn’t let her leave without telling her how he felt. Sure, her plans were in place, but he could wait for her to return. Why not wait? It wasn’t as if he was giving up anything—except time with her. He could wait.
That night, after the kiss, they’d gone to Beth and Jonah’s. The evening of parlor games and fellowship had been a lot of fun, but he’d spent most of the time trying to figure out what to say to Sadie. On the way home, he’d told her to think about what she really wanted from their relationship and he’d do the same, and they’d talk about it next week.
Levi moved to the front of the truck. Daniel held up some papers and motioned to Tip, who was still on the phone behind the wheel.
Tip ended his phone conversation and got out. “I think we’ve got three of the four horses placed already. There’s a man a hundred and fifty miles north of here who wants to see them. If he agrees they’re all I told him they are, we’ll get top dollar.”
“Good.” Daniel passed him the papers. “You know what to do.”
Tip headed for the house. Andy handled the business end of Daniel’s arrangements with the Fisher brothers.
Levi was headed inside to get warm and have some breakfast, but Daniel wanted to talk. He leaned against the truck cab and pulled a pack of gum from his coat pocket. “You’re raking in a lot of dough off these horses lately, aren’t you?”
Levi chuckled. “We aren’t doing bad, me and you.”
“Not bad? I’d say that’s how we’ve been doing the past few years. But since being thrown from Amigo, you seem to have figured out the key to taming horses.” He held out the pack to Levi.
Levi took a stick and put it in his pocket for later. He wasn’t much for chewing gum, but Sadie liked it. He hoped that, after her week of thinking about their upcoming conversation, she’d accept how he felt. He’d certainly count that as a step in the right direction, but it’d be the night of his life if she actually had feelings for him too.
Daniel played with the foil wrapper, straightening it and flipping it. “It’ll take me and Tip most of the day to make our deliveries, but we’ll be back to pick you up if you want to go to the auction tonight.”
“I have other plans.”
“What?” Daniel’s brows arched. “This seems to be a regular occurrence of late. Are you seriously seeing somebody?”
“I hope so … I mean, we haven’t talked about how we feel or where we’re going.”
Daniel poked his shoulder, grinning. “I’ll tell you how to feel—like your tail’s on fire and you should run for the hills.”
“I got plenty of that going on.” Levi needed no encouragement when it came to wanting to run from relationships. But Sadie was different. “We met in July, so I think I’m getting to know her pretty well.”
“Are you tellin’ me this is the same girl you dumped me for in August?”
“I showed up at the auction.”
“Ya, hours late and completely spent.”
“Ya, it’s the same girl.”
“Really?” Daniel angled his head, apparently confused by Levi’s change of heart. “You need a ride into Stone Creek again?”
Levi chuckled. “You’re behind the times. She’s living in Apple Ridge with her grandmother.”
“You haven’t talked about her much.”
What could Levi say? He was pretending to court a girl and got caught in a very real snare?
Daniel crossed his arms, his breath a white vapor as he chewed his gum. “I guess it was bound to happen. You thinking about turning in your bachelor’s license?”
“Thinking about it—if there is such a thing.”
Daniel rolled his eyes. “You’re playing a dangerous game, man. You’ll be in love one minute and daydreaming of her demise the next. All the while she’ll be stacking the deck against you, and you won’t even know it.”
“Sadie’s not like that.”
“I believe you. You’ve got a knack for seeing into horses. I’m sure that works on females too.” Daniel chuckled. “Although you can clearly be wrong about horses, or you wouldn’t have been riding one that overreacts to fireworks on the Fourth of July.”
Daniel’s aim was humor, but Levi didn’t find anything humorous about what he’d said.
“It’s sort of an odd coincidence.” Daniel pulled his coat collar up high, shielding his neck from the wind. “That girl I was engaged to, she was a Sadie too.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Messed up my life.” He waggled a couple of fingers near the side of his forehead. “Did a real tap dance inside my brain.” He stood upright.
Levi began to walk toward the house, ready to get out of the cold. Daniel followed him.
“Ya, I’m well aware that a woman can do that. I saw it happen to Andy, and I imagine Sadie could do it to me.”
Daniel tossed the wrapper on the gr
ound. “You say she’s living near here?”
“Ya, her folks are from Brim, but she’s living with her grandmother.”
Daniel stopped, his eyes wide. “Tell me her grandmother isn’t Verna Lee and her name isn’t Sadie Yoder.”
“How’d you—” Levi’s worst fears swarmed like locusts and devoured every hope he’d imagined. His Sadie was the same girl who’d broken up with Daniel the day before their wedding? The thought of her courting Daniel, of her growing close to him the way she had with Levi sickened him. Worse, she’d run out on Daniel—just as Eva had done to Andy.
“It’s your life, Levi. Maybe she’s changed.” He pulled the gum from his mouth and threw it into the bushes. “But years ago she was sweeter than candy and eventually showed me a side that was battier than bats. My concern is that, given time, she’ll find some excuse and leave you like she did me.” He went to the front door and paused. “Has she said anything about me?”
“Not a word.”
He seemed relieved. “If you talk to her about this, she’ll tell you I was to blame. But it was the day before our wedding, and I just happened to be in a room alone with one of her cousins. Sadie walked in. Maybe she actually thinks she saw something. I don’t know. But I believe she was looking to bolt, and making up lies about what she saw was her way out.”
Levi could easily imagine Sadie getting cold feet and wanting to run.
Even so, he loved her. Every goofy, funny, charming thing about her. How was it possible that he’d fallen for the same woman as Daniel? He hadn’t been clear on who Daniel’s fiancée was, but if he had, there were five Sadie Yoders that he knew of in the district. Since Daniel was a bit of a nomad, he’d lived in numerous Amish communities, and Levi imagined Daniel knew at least twenty Sadie Yoders.
Realization almost pounded him to the ground. He’d fallen for the same kind of woman as his brother had: a woman who hooked a man and then changed her mind about loving him.
God, why? He’d thought God was leading him out of the wilderness.
His thoughts came in disjointed fragments. All his senses seemed to heighten as his dream world shattered, causing him to see his reality for what it was.
Around him, the empty limbs of trees shook in the wind, and a few brown leaves tumbled across the dead grass—both evidence of the arrival of another long season of barrenness.
The horses he’d spent months training would be sold later today, becoming no more to him than a way to make money.
The woman he loved was incapable of building a life with anyone, banishing him to a life of isolation.
And Levi had to face yet another truth: he was a fool.
But he wouldn’t stay that way.
He turned, seeing Daniel still standing at the back door, waiting in the cold for Levi to get a grip on himself.
Levi drew a heavy breath. The first of many, he imagined. “I’ve changed my mind. I will go with you tonight after all.”
The horse’s hoofs kept rhythm against the pavement, the familiar clippity-clop not moving swiftly enough for Sadie’s liking. A muddled gray daylight had edged over the top of the mountain a little while ago. Snow flurries swirled, dancing on air, as the horse and carriage joggled its way down the road.
She shouldn’t be on her way to Levi’s on a Sunday morning. It seemed self-indulgent to have to talk to him first thing on the Sabbath. It was God’s day, not hers. Still, she tugged on the left rein, turning the carriage onto Hertzler Drive.
What was going through Levi’s mind? He’d made it very clear they needed to use the week to think about what they wanted. They were supposed to go out last night to talk, but then he left a message on the machine in Mammi’s phone shanty. He said he wouldn’t be coming by to pick her up and that he thought it best if they continued to follow their original plan.
What?
She’d been having second thoughts about meeting up with her mission team and leaving the country. How could she leave when she’d fallen in love with Levi Fisher? She had no doubt about that. So the only question was what God would have her do now: keep her plans to return to the mission field in Peru or stay here.
Levi had to be feeling the same things she felt. Both of them were terrified of making a commitment. But they were different together than she and Daniel had been. She imagined they were different than Andy and Eva had been.
She and Levi were strong enough to let go of their fears and love each other. She’d spent a week praying about it, after which she found that she had no reservations about Levi. But what would it take to convince him? Maybe he needed her to leave. Maybe they needed to spend a year writing to each other.
Sadie slowed the rig, preparing to enter Levi’s driveway. It looked as if a lamp was lit in the kitchen. Gut. Maybe she wouldn’t need to wake the house to get someone to the door. After tying the horse to the hitching post, she went to the front door and tapped on the glass.
Andy came into view, mug in hand. He smiled and opened the door. “Sadie. Kumm, get in out of the cold.”
She stepped inside, and he closed the door behind her.
“You going to church with us this morning?”
“No.” The aroma of coffee permeated the air, but there wasn’t a sound anywhere else, as if even the house itself were still asleep. “Is Levi up?”
“Don’t think so, but I can fix that for you.” He set his mug on the table. “Take off your coat and make yourself at home. He was at the auction until late, so it may take me a bit to rouse him. Would you like a cup of coffee while I get him?”
“No, denki.” She didn’t know if she’d be here long enough to drink it, but she removed her coat and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair. “I’m fine.”
Andy disappeared down the hall. She liked the way he treated her, as if he had a quiet hope of who she and Levi would become. He seemed to love his brother as much as he did his son. Despite his situation, Andy acted as if he believed in marriage. Why had his wife left him? He seemed pleasant and even-keeled—traits that could make a marriage work even if two people fell out of love.
Had he been unfaithful to her, so she just left? Sadie detested that she’d even thought such a horrid thing, but since she’d discovered Daniel with Aquilla … well, such thoughts came to her far more often than she liked to admit.
Andy returned, a smile on his face. “He jolted up the second I opened the door.” He went to the stove and poured a little more black liquid into his half-full mug. “Any snow sticking to the roads yet?”
“Not yet.” She wanted to ask him how Levi felt about her. If anyone knew, Andy would. But it wouldn’t be right to do so. Levi had the right to insist he and Sadie stick to their original plan and break up regardless of any fondness he had for her.
He did care for her … didn’t he?
“That’s good, although I’m sure Tobias would love for enough snow so we could miss a church day. I imagine Levi and the two other guys who stayed over last night might be tempted to want the same. I don’t think they crawled into bed until around four.” Andy took a sip of his drink. “I was about to start breakfast. Will you stay and eat with us?”
“She won’t be able to stay.”
Levi’s hard words sliced at her heart, and she turned.
He fastened the last button on his shirt and pointed at her coat. “Let’s go outside.”
“It’s freezing out there.” Andy set his cup on the table. “Everyone else is asleep. I’ll go to my room.”
Levi grabbed his coat off a peg. “It’ll be warm enough in the barn.”
She didn’t move to get her coat, and a glance at Andy indicated she wasn’t the only one baffled by Levi’s attitude.
“It was good to see you, Sadie.” Andy nodded and left the room.
Sadie put her hands on her coat, not quite ready to do as Levi had instructed.
“You broke our date rather last minute yesterday, and then you were out all night. Now I don’t even get a hello, and you can’t get me out of the h
ouse quickly enough. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had a girl you were hiding.”
A look flashed through his eyes—disappointment in her, maybe. But why?
He reached over and picked up her coat. “We began our relationship as one thing, and it turned into another. We both know that’s true. I think a clean break is best. Our breakup was supposed to be inevitable, so we’ll let it begin today.”
He held the coat out to her, waiting for her to slip into the sleeves.
Concern niggled at her, and she brushed hair away from his face. “Did you hit your head or something? You don’t look or sound like the man I’ve come to know these last three months.”
He didn’t pull away, but the rigid look on his face said he wanted to. “Look, Sadie, you’ve been amazing from the start. And I know I owe you more than I can ever repay, but—”
“Owe me?” She backed up, staring at him. Had he mistaken gratitude for true caring? “All you feel for me is tied to my helping you that night?”
“Don’t do this, Sadie.”
“Do what? Try to understand?”
He said nothing.
She couldn’t catch her breath, and her suddenly weak knees plunked her into a kitchen chair. “Maybe you’re just spooked. Have we moved too fast? Because I could keep my missions plans. We could write to each other, and maybe by the time my work is finished, you’d feel ready to—”
“No.” He hooked her coat on one finger and held it out. “I won’t.”
Tears stung her eyes, and she rose. “So this is it?”
He looked at the floor before meeting her eyes. “If it helps, I’m not happy about how things turned out either.”
A door somewhere down the hall opened. It was probably Tobias.
Levi clutched the doorknob. “Kumm, I’ll walk you to your carriage.”
She put on her coat. “No, I’m fine.” She paused in front of him. “When you asked me to spend a week thinking about where I wanted us to land, I thought … I mean, you sounded …”
His eyes locked on hers. “I know, and I’m sorry it has to be this way.”
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