by Lynne Graham
The evening passed slowly, enlivened only by a call from Leo, who asked her to view a couple of properties with him later in the week. It was after midnight when Nik finally phoned to say that he would be working right into the early hours and staying at the apartment. Listening to the low voices and the bustle she could hear in the background, Prudence swallowed her disappointment and tried to act as if nothing was wrong. Maybe it was a good idea to let the dust settle, she told herself unhappily.
Nik was away for two days, and on the third evening, when he did return to Oakmere, it was Prudence who was absent from home and hearth. Nik went all over the habitable rooms, looking for a note. Then he went down to the stable yard and checked the sheds and the fields but there was no sign of his wife anywhere. When there was no other choice he rang her on her mobile phone.
‘Where are you?’ Nik enquired a shade tersely when she answered.
‘I’m viewing an apartment in London with Leo…’
Nik breathed in very deep and slow.
‘Are you still working?’
‘No. I came home to spend time with you.’
‘And I’m out…what a shame,’ Prudence lamented with all the seeming regret that any man could wish to hear. ‘I didn’t think you’d be back tonight.’
Nik found that confession far from comforting. What if handsome, attentive Leo wasn’t just a friend? How could he know for sure? Leo did nothing without consulting Prudence first. He rang Prudence continually and Prudence was attached to him. In comparison, Nik was conscious that he himself was at a severe disadvantage. He had coerced Prudence into living with him. She didn’t love him. Taking into account what she had said about his character, his wife didn’t like him very much either, he reflected heavily. But she still couldn’t keep her hands off him. Sexually he was very much in demand. Or had that been an act, too? A matter of good, clean fun? Prudence was a deeply sensual woman. And a deeply sensual woman, who had waited so long to explore that side of her nature, might well want to experiment…
‘Nik?’ Prudence pressed in the humming silence. ‘Look, I have to go. I’ll see you later.’
It was very much later by the time that Prudence finally walked wearily through the ancient front door of the abbey. All she wanted to do was lie down and sleep for a month. Her desire to hurry home had been frustrated at every turn. Nik greeted her at the foot of the stairs. The minute she saw him butterflies flew loose in her tummy. He looked so achingly handsome that she couldn’t drag her eyes from his lean, dark face.
‘Where have you been?’ Nik demanded. ‘I tried to ring you again. You didn’t answer your phone.’
‘It’s dead. I forgot to charge it,’ she sighed. ‘You wouldn’t believe the trouble I’ve had getting home-’
‘Try me,’ Nik invited.
‘Leo spent ages talking to the vendor at the property we viewed. When I got back to my car it had a flat tyre…Leo changed it but he had a dreadful time with the wheel nuts.’ Prudence threaded her hair off her damp brow with limp fingers and wished she could just sit down and slump.
‘Wheel nuts,’ Nik repeated with glittering dark golden eyes. ‘Is that the best you can do for an excuse?’
Blinking in bewilderment, she paused on her passage up the massive staircase. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘It’s after midnight-’
‘I’m not Cinderella-’
‘And I’m not stupid. You’ve been with another man for hours on end.’
‘Another man?’ Prudence frowned, not immediately able to identify Leo as falling within that category.
‘You don’t answer your phone…you’ve been gone all evening. Naturally I’m suspicious.’
When Prudence realised what Nik was driving at she could not hide her astonishment. ‘Suspicious of Leo and me? But he’s madly in love with Stella and has been for years-’
‘Isn’t it strange that you never mentioned a Stella before?’
His persistence disconcerted her. The charged tension etched in his bronzed features was very real. Only then did she recall her silence when he had questioned her friendship with Leo after that misleading photo had appeared in the newspaper. She felt horribly guilty because she had made no attempt to settle his suspicions then and there. In fact she had actually quite enjoyed the idea that he was no longer so sure that her affections were firmly centred on him.
‘Leo and I are mates and that’s all. I should have made that clear from the start. The trouble is…I quite liked you being a bit jealous,’ Prudence confided shamefacedly, wincing at an odd little shooting pain low in her tummy.
‘I don’t do jealous,’ Nik asserted between gritted white teeth.
Fighting off a sick wave of dizziness, Prudence acknowledged that she really wasn’t feeling very well and she gripped the balustrade hard. Her complexion was paper white.
‘Theos mou…What’s wrong?’ Nik exclaimed.
Prudence swayed as her knees began to buckle and the darkness folded in. Nik threw himself forward and caught her in his arms as she fainted.
Prudence swam back to consciousness. She was lying on a sofa in the drawing room. ‘What happened?’
Nik was bending over her. His brilliant, beautiful dark eyes were full of concern. ‘You passed out and almost fell down the stairs. I think you need to see a doctor-’
‘Don’t be daft. There’s nothing the matter with me. I just think I overdid things today. I haven’t had anything to eat and I’m tired,’ she muttered ruefully.
‘Leo really looks after you, pethi mou,’ Nik derided.
‘A woman doesn’t need a man to look after her.’
‘It’s a pleasure for me to look after you…to see that you eat and rest and have no worries,’ Nik responded without hesitation. ‘I like doing it.’
It was true and he did it so well. She remembered his solicitous behaviour in Tuscany. It had encompassed everything from ensuring she didn’t sit too long in the sun to letting her lie in bed longer than he did in the morning. They had dined at her favourite restaurants, visited the places she most wanted to see. He had spoilt her rotten and made her feel as precious as solid gold. Without thinking about it, she reached for his hand and pushed her cheek into his palm in a helpless gesture of affection.
The tension etched in his lean, hard features eased. Long brown fingers stroked her face. ‘I still want a doctor to check you out tomorrow. You look too fragile.’
With his help she got into bed. He brought her an omelette which he swore he had cooked himself and while she ate he invited her to tell him about Leo and Stella. He laughed a couple of times. He said Leo was mucking about and acting like a wimp. Arguing with that macho judgement, Prudence began to relax and feel happy again. She had missed Nik so much. The giant hole in her life had felt unendurable. So what if he didn’t want children? she asked herself wryly. She could learn to live with that. Nothing was perfect. At some time in the future he might change his mind. If she had him, if she had the guy she loved, shouldn’t that be enough for her?
‘I should’ve told you about the pills,’ she whispered in drowsy apology.
‘No…you were right. I let myself forget how our marriage started out.’ Dark golden eyes sombre, Nik watched her slide into sleep. Earlier that day he had put Oakmere Abbey in her name so that whatever happened she and the sanctuary would be secure. The estate would be self-sufficient. If he wasn’t careful he would lose her as well as everything else. Somehow, some way, he had to address the image problem, he reflected grimly, fighting off his exhaustion. Subscribing to charity and pioneering business-enterprise awards for the young weren’t enough to impress Prudence. He had to do something compassionate in the animal line.
In the early hours, Prudence woke up and smiled sleepily at the familiar feel of Nik’s lean, hot, powerful body against hers. She lifted her lashes to study him. He was wide awake and watching her, too, golden eyes steady. He looked so serious and she wondered why, but only briefly, for the blue-black stubble shadowing h
is classic chiselled features only added to his smouldering sex appeal. Shifting closer, she gave an encouraging little wriggle. Surprised by his failure to take immediate advantage, she smoothed a provocative hand down over his hard, bronzed torso. He caught her fingers in his. ‘You were ill last night…we shouldn’t-’
‘Refusal will offend. You said it was your pleasure to look after me,’ Prudence reminded him with dancing eyes.
An appreciative grin slashed his handsome mouth. ‘It is…a very great pleasure, thespinis mou,’ he asserted, tugging her up against him with easy strength and taking her mouth with passionate fervour.
A couple of hours later she hurried downstairs to join Nik for breakfast. She was crossing the hall when without the slightest warning a spasm of sharp pain gripped her pelvis and doubled her up. ‘Nik!’ she gasped in shock and fear.
He took her to the nearest hospital. They were both totally stunned when a pregnancy test was carried out and came up with a positive result. Before Prudence could even deal with the knowledge that she was almost two months pregnant, she learned that she was losing her baby. Ashen below his bronzed skin, Nik listened with hollow, dark eyes when the gynaecologist opined that the very lack of symptoms that might have initially warned Prudence of her condition might well have indicated an unstable pregnancy. No, he assured her kindly, he did not think that she could have done anything to change what was happening. After that there was nothing to do but let nature take its course.
When it was all over she lay in her private room, staring sightlessly at the wall. She must have fallen pregnant the very first time she slept with Nik. Her most cherished dream had come true with the man she loved, but she had not had the chance to enjoy the fact even briefly.
‘I wish we’d known,’ Nik breathed thickly, gripping her hand in his. ‘It feels so wrong that we didn’t know until it was too late.’
‘No,’ she agreed numbly, staring at the wall at the foot of the bed.
‘I am to blame for this situation. We made love and I chose not to protect you-’
‘I said I wanted a child,’ she said dully, not understanding how he was to blame. She had conceived and would have been overjoyed had she still been pregnant. But now she had miscarried and all such talk only reminded her of her loss and her disappointment.
Nik closed both hands round her limp fingers and expelled his breath in a ragged hiss. ‘I’m so sorry…you will probably never understand how much.’
He had stayed with her throughout. He had been strong for her, supportive, everything a husband should be. But only a few days back he had admitted that he didn’t really want a baby with her. Of course, had he realised that there was the slightest risk that she might be pregnant he would never have admitted that. But he had admitted it and she could not forget his candour. And, naturally, he could not forget it on such a day either. After all, Prudence conceded wretchedly, he was a very decent guy.
‘I let my pride come between us…’ Nik bit out in a driven undertone.
That was a startling enough announcement to make Prudence turn her head on the pillow to look directly at him. ‘How?’
Nik studied her with bleak, dark eyes. ‘I wanted you to have my child. But I wouldn’t admit that when the sentiment wasn’t returned.’
Her throat thickened. She turned her head away again and squeezed her eyes tight shut on the tears threatening to well up and overflow. He was trying to comfort her by demonstrating his sympathy and understanding of her feelings. He was really, really good at that, she acknowledged inwardly. He always knew exactly what to say. But she did not want him telling her lies out of pity or out of guilt. Why should he feel guilty because he had said he didn’t want a baby? Lots of guys of Nik’s age and lifestyle would feel exactly the same.
‘I think I want to sleep,’ she murmured flatly.
‘Go ahead…I won’t disturb you.’
The silence stretched.
‘I’d like to be on my own,’ she muttered tightly.
‘But I don’t think you should be, pethi mou.’
‘Just go home,’ she told him stonily. ‘Don’t you have any work to do?’
The silence thundered. The door closed. She flipped over and focused on the chair he had vacated. She had wanted him to go but, just as swiftly and unreasonably, she wanted him back. The thickness in her throat became great gulping sobs and she rolled back and buried her face in the pillow.
Three days later, Nik picked her up and took her back to Oakmere. She changed the subject whenever he tried to talk about the miscarriage…
It was six weeks since Prudence had returned from hospital. She could hear a phone ringing in the abbey’s cavernous entrance hall. The housekeeper answered it before she could reach it and brought the phone to her.
‘Am I speaking to Prudence Angelis?’ an accented male voice enquired heavily. ‘The granddaughter of Theo Demakis?’
She frowned. ‘Yes…why?’
It was her grandfather’s lawyer, Gregoly Lelas. He was calling to inform her that the older man had died very suddenly that morning from a massive heart attack. Shock engulfed Prudence in a sickening tide. She had always cherished the secret hope that Theo Demakis would come to regret his treatment of her and wish to get to know her as a member of his family. But now it was too late, forever too late because he was gone.
As her pale profile pinched tight, Nik strode into the room. ‘What has happened?’
‘My grandfather’s dead,’ she mumbled sickly.
CHAPTER NINE
‘HOW DO YOU feel?’ Nik settled Prudence into a seat on his private jet with as much care as he would have utilised had she been an invalid.
‘I’m perfectly fine.’ Her even white teeth clenched on that declaration. She was convinced that if he asked her one more time how she was, she would scream! Such prolonged, exaggerated solicitude struck her as quite unnecessary. She was not suffering any physical discomfort or weakness now. Ironically she felt healthy as a horse.
When they were airborne, Prudence studied a wildlife magazine and struggled to seem unconscious of Nik’s steady regard.
‘You’re not speaking to me…’ Nik murmured.
‘Of course I’m speaking to you. I’m not a child, for goodness’ sake!’
‘I don’t know you like this. It’s like you’re surrounded by barbed wire.’
‘We are on our way to a funeral. Excuse me for not feeling chatty,’ Prudence whipped back at him stiffly from behind her magazine.
Nik left his seat and sank down in the one beside her. ‘We can get through all this…but we have to talk.’
Prudence threw aside the magazine in a temperamental display that she could not suppress. Her emotions all felt as though they were perched on a knife edge. Nik starred at the heart of a welter of conflicting responses. She wanted him to be close, and yet, on another level, she could not resist the urge to push him away and snipe at him. With an unsteady hand she smoothed down the skirt of the elegant black suit she wore. ‘Not now, please…’
‘I lost a child, too…’ Nik breathed in a raw undertone. ‘Don’t shut me out, thespinis mou.’
As she sprang up to take refuge in the sleeping compartment, Nik caught her hand in his. ‘What?’ she gasped, eyes over-bright and stinging and avoiding the golden challenge of his.
‘We can share more than a bed,’ Nik told her with disconcerting candour.
Her face flaming, she pulled her fingers free and fled. He had held her through the nights since she’d lost the baby without touching her, while her shameless body tingled and heated to the hard, muscular embrace of his. Had he known how much she longed for him? Here she was, barely speaking to him, and yet that craving for him refused to cease! Her hands curled into tight fists. He was right. There was a barrier between them but it was a much more basic barrier than he appreciated.
Of course, she was not still blaming him for his candour on the score of parenthood a few days before she lost the baby, she thought unhappily. She w
as not so stupid or short-sighted that she would hold spite on such a score. No, in the aftermath of her miscarriage, she had come to appreciate that she was hurting so badly because she had set herself up for that hurt. Unrequited love was a recipe for disappointment. Worst of all, she was obsessively in love with Nik and she always had been. But when they were just friends she’d had enough distance to keep her pride and her common sense and independence. In short she had learned to get by without Nik very nicely. After their marriage blessing, however, everything had changed and, with it, her aspirations.
Even so, it wasn’t fair to blame him for not loving her. He had never offered love. He still did romance as if he had been born to it and had the right move and word for every occasion. Three weeks of being treated like a goddess in their Tuscan hideaway had left her floating on air, so the return to solid earth again had been understandably tough. Nik was never going to love her and she had to learn to live with that. They could be really close in other ways, she reasoned fiercely. Pride was making her push him away but she did not want to destroy their marriage; she did not want to lose him. Half a loaf still felt better than no bread at all.
‘I had a nap…I’m feeling better,’ she hastened to assure Nik with a determined smile as they moved through Athens Airport. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been so out of sorts.’
‘The experience you’ve had, you’ve been a saint,’ Nik pronounced, his charismatic smile making her heart bounce like a tennis ball.