by Jo Sandhu
Tarin touched the bone pendant, tracing the downward curve of Owl’s totem sign. It was the same shape that had been carved into his mother’s father’s pendant, now lost somewhere on Ice Bringer. It was the same shape he wore on his arm – his hunter’s tattoo. Would that tattoo stop him ever flying with Owl again? With the sorrow of the Ungirski still so raw and then Kaija’s discovery . . . he hadn’t had time to think about Kai’s revelation. Was he truly being asked to choose – Hunter or Spirit Keeper? He rubbed his head wearily. He couldn’t imagine a life without Owl, but nor could he imagine not hunting. Hunting had become a matter of survival to him, not just for himself while he was travelling, but for his Clan.
Perhaps singing to Owl would cross whatever barrier was in his way, and he could explain to Owl how important it was for him to hunt. Tarin tried to hum again, but his voice sounded strange and stilted in his ears. He thought if the wolves were here with him, they would howl and Kaija and Luuka would laugh at him, and that thought made his chest hurt.
Maybe he had to form the words and not just hum. He looked at the piece of bone in his hands. There were other marks there too, forming a circle around the edge. Wolf and mammoth and eagle . . .
He started to sing. ‘Owl and Wolf and Mammoth and Eagle and Lion and Bear and Deer.’ Tarin’s voice was lower pitched than Minna’s, and together their song slowly blended into one. Tarin closed his eyes so there was only the song, echoing deep inside him. He noticed whenever they sang the same Spirit name – Wolf, Bear and Deer – his heart beat faster and his skin tingled.
‘I thought it was bad luck to say Bear,’ he murmured.
Minna glared at him. ‘Say Honey Paw. Sing Bear.’
Tarin returned to his song until he was no longer aware of his surroundings. The fire still crackled. The ground was still hard and rocky beneath him. The air still cooled his skin. But none of that mattered any more. The only thing that mattered was the song.
And suddenly, he was flying. Owl had heard him and lifted him up into the violet-grey sky. They soared upwards until Tarin could no longer see the earth below. Owl and Raven flew side by side.
‘It is easier to sing with the reindeer drum, but you have done well, Tarin Owl,’ Minna Raven said. ‘See!’
And looking ahead, Tarin did see – a pale flicker of green swirling high in the sky. ‘The Mother’s Dance!’ he said. The sweeps of brilliant light that arced across the sky when the Earth Mother danced. He hadn’t seen Her Lights since before leaving Mammoth Camp. And he had never seen them so early! He shivered and his heart clenched in fear. There was an old Mammutti saying: When the Mother dances, she catches Winter by the hand. His fears for Mammoth Clan swirled inside him like an ice storm.
‘The Mother’s Dance? Yes! That is a good name for them. We say Spirit of Fox is running through the Spirit World, with fire in his tail.’
Tarin laughed, his fears eased by the beauty of the flight. Yes! He could see how that was true, too.
They banked sharply, circling a rugged mountain. The air was like breathing in ice. Sheer cliffs rose in front of them. Then they were circling above a high, alpine meadow, dotted with buttercups. A boy walked, carrying a spear. He had been hunting and blood dripped from his hands.
‘Do you see, Tarin? You must see!’
‘I see! I do see!’ Tarin cried. ‘But how can I choose?’
‘Sometimes,’ Raven said, circling away from the meadow. ‘No matter what journey we choose, we still hurt. Sometimes, the song we sing, it will be sad. It is what the All Spirit asks of us. The song we sing is not always for us. Sometimes it is for Others.’
Tarin closed his eyes. The wind was sharp against his face and he felt it ruffle every individual feather. He spread his wings wide, warmer air pushing him upwards, spiralling higher and higher. His keen eyes and ears picked up sounds and smells from across the mountains and plains. He could touch the sky. He could touch the wondrous Lights. He could touch the Spirit World.
‘Why?’ he shouted at the Earth Mother. ‘Why do you ask this of me? You ask too much!’ The agony inside grew, crushing his heart and his lungs. He held suspended in mid-air for a breathless moment, then turned and plummeted downwards. Down, down he spiralled, the hard earth rising up to meet him, faster and faster.
‘Tarin Owl!’
Raven’s cry was a scream of pure terror. She plummeted after him, a sleek, black spear hurtling towards the earth.
Then, just as the tops of the spruce trees brushed their wings, Raven touched Owl’s outstretched wing and they swerved away from the trees and back to the open sky.
‘Don’t fall, Tarin Owl.’
Tarin heard the terror in her voice.
‘Don’t fall!’
They came to rest on the top of a mountain, far above the tree line. The snow here never melted, even in the heart of Summer.
Minna lay curled in a huddle, exhausted and stricken. Her face was pale and gaunt and finally Tarin felt her fear as his own. He had felt nothing but the rushing wind during his fall, but now, sitting with his head bowed down and his broken arm aching, he was afraid.
‘Wolf Bird, I am sorry,’ he said, and he rested his hand upon her head. Minna shivered and closed her eyes.
‘Don’t fall,’ she muttered. ‘Don’t fall, like my mother.’
They stayed there for a long time, silent, each with their own thoughts. Slowly, Minna’s shakes eased and Tarin felt his own breathing slow.
‘My mother, she was also Shaman,’ Minna said in a low voice. Her strange eyes glowed. ‘We used to fly so far. But one day, she fell. She fell from the sky, and now I am alone.’
‘But where is your home? You have no other family?’ Tarin asked. ‘No clan?’
Minna smiled and held her arms wide, as though to embrace all the forest and mountains and sky. ‘This is my home, Tarin Owl, but north is where my mother’s kin lives. We will run now,’ she said. ‘Fox and Wolf.’
And down the mountain they leapt, their paws barely breaking through the crust of snow, light-footed and swift. Dawn was not far off. Already the stars were fading and the sky lightening to grey.
Through the forest they ran, noses low to the ground, then raised to scent the wind. Minna’s nose and ears twitched. She stopped to sniff the air.
‘Sometimes, Tarin Wolf, our songs are too hard to sing,’ she said in a soft voice. Her long, white whiskers trembled.
Tarin smelt pine marten, squirrel and stoat paused motionless in the branches, then the wind changed. The scent of snow and mountain faded. Now the air was filled with forest and grassland.
‘I smell wolf,’ Tarin said. ‘Unfriendly wolf . . .’ He paused and drew his lips back to taste the air. The wolf scent was wrong.
‘Shadow Wolf,’ Minna said breathlessly. ‘Spirit Wolf.
There, through the trees.’
Now Tarin could see them as well – dark shapes, bigger than normal wolves, circling a fading fire pit.
‘Hunger, Hate, Fear, Disease, Cold and Death.’ Minna named the Shadow Wolves, her body pressed to the ground, her ears and tail tucked low.
Tarin heard the wariness in her voice and was about to suggest they back away. They were badly outnumbered. The figures huddled fearfully around the fire, but as one of the wolves lunged towards them a boy sprang up and forward with a flaming torch to drive it back and the grey wolf at the boy’s side snapped and snarled.
‘Luuka! Rohk!’ Tarin shouted. Then he recognised Kaija and Nilkka behind them.
He felt the hot wolf blood surge through his veins and he leapt forward, brandishing claws and fangs. A Shadow Wolf turned towards him and he slashed his claws across its flank. Another rushed to the attack, and he sunk his fangs into its neck and tasted blood. He tried to tell Minna to run, and take Luuka and Kaija with her, but the frenzy of the attack was all around him. It filled his heart with rage and his ears with the sounds of howling, snarling wolf-voices.
Then, from above, Raven attacked. Sharp beak and lethal claws raked the
face of a wolf that leapt to drag her out of the sky. And Raven wasn’t alone. The sky was filled with birds – ravens, owls, hawks, eagles and kites. Tarin stood between the circling Shadow Wolves and his friends. Their leader was bleeding badly and one eye was destroyed. He lifted his head and howled, calling retreat, and the Shadow Wolves fled into the forest, the birds driving them on their way.
Tarin turned to his friends, his clan. They were unhurt, but still fearful. They knelt in the dirt, each with their arms wrapped around a wolf, desperately trying to keep Rohk and Nilkka from running after the Shadow Wolves. Tarin wanted to talk to them, to tell them there was nothing else to fear, but exhaustion was making his body shake and his vision was clouded with blood. His fur was matted and foam dripped from his mouth.
‘Tarin Wolf, come,’ Minna’s voice was gentle. The little red fox licked his muzzle and nudged him into the trees. They staggered into a small burrow formed by falling rocks and lined with soft pine needles. Tarin breathed deeply and his chest hurt.
‘It hurts to move,’ he groaned.
‘Then don’t move.’ Minna pushed him to lie down, then curled herself into his side and they let their exhaustion carry them off to sleep.
Deep afternoon light filtered through the trees when Tarin finally woke. He groaned and rubbed his face. A wooden cup of cool, clear water appeared in front of him and he drank deeply. Minna refilled the cup from her fur-covered flask and he drank again.
‘Thank you,’ Tarin said. He squinted at the sky. ‘I’ve slept all day?’
‘Two days, Tarin Wolf.’ Minna returned her attention to their fire. A raven sat perched on a fallen log, watching him with glittering eyes and tilted head. It passed Minna a stick for the fire, then cawed and flew away.
‘She will bring some more wood.’ Minna studied him thoughtfully. ‘They are safe, Tarin,’ she said.
‘For now.’ Tarin stared at the fire. The warmth of the flames eased the pain in his bones and the chill in his heart. Deep scratches cut across his face and neck. His injured arm had no strength. ‘But for how long? They will not survive, just the two of them.’
‘Then what will you do? Will you go with them after all?’
Tarin stayed silent a long time. A soft whisper of wings brushed past him and the raven returned with a mouthful of twigs for their fire and a fat grub for Utu. It lay the grub in the dirt at Tarin’s feet, and Utu hopped to catch it.
‘You know I cannot,’ Tarin said quietly.
‘I do not know that at all,’ Minna said and frowned at him. ‘It is your choice. Your decision. Your journey is not my journey.’
Tarin glared at her.
‘So, you think I should go with Luuka and Kaija?’
Minna rolled her eyes towards the raven and sighed deeply. The raven fluffed her wings and made a sound that reminded Tarin of Old Mother’s laugh, a low, grating kraa. His frown deepened. Two choices. Two songs.
‘I need to return to Mammoth Clan. I need to help them hunt and look after my father. I have to do that.’
Utu finished his grub and carefully wiped his beak on Tarin’s leggings. He frowned at the little owl and clenched his hands so that the cut on his palm stung. ‘I vowed to make Matti pay for what he did . . .’
‘Because that will help your Clan?’ Minna added another twig to the flames.
Tarin glared at her and pressed his lips together. The raven laughed at him. He rubbed his eyes, but the wounds across his face and neck hurt. He thought of Kaija and Luuka alone against the Shadow Wolves.
‘They have the wolves to protect them,’ Minna said, as though she could see his thoughts, but Tarin shook his head.
‘They never learnt to fight like wolves. They were too young when they lost their mother.’ He picked up two stones and weighed them in the palm of his hands. Two choices. Two songs. He placed the stones on the ground and studied them. Mammoth Clan. Wolf Clan. Two journeys. Each with their own consequences.
He stared ahead of him at the trees encircling their little camp fire. A break in the pines showed him the path that led west across the tundra to Mammoth Camp. Another path lead onwards towards the north and the mountains of the Bear People. Two paths.
The raven opened its wings and rose in the air. It circled the camp before alighting on the path that would lead Tarin westwards, almost as though she were guarding the way, Tarin thought with a rueful smile. But his smile faded when Utu hissed and bit his ear sharply before hopping over to join the raven.
Tarin glanced sharply at Minna, but she was singing to herself again, her eyes closed and a slight smile on her lips. Tarin stood and dusted the dirt from his leggings. ‘I vowed to return to Mammoth Clan.’ He looked skywards. ‘There is still plenty of light left today and I need to make up for the two days I have lost.’ His voice faltered.
Minna opened her eyes but stayed silent.
Tarin walked towards the two birds but they didn’t move. He crossed his arms and frowned at them. Utu fluffed his good wing and opened his beak wide in a frightening display.
‘I thought the choice was mine?’ Tarin asked him. Utu’s scowl deepened and he flared his facial feathers. Tarin tried to glare back, but he couldn’t help himself. He laughed at the little owl and picked him up. The tension in his shoulders eased.
‘But Kaija and Luuka need my help, too. We are Clan . . .’ His voice faded away. They had been through so much together. How could he ever have left them? They were heading into strange lands and needed him now, more than ever.
‘And sometimes, Others sing our song better than we do,’ Minna murmured. She studied the sky and the leaves on the trees. ‘Summer is ending,’ she said.
‘But there is still plenty of travelling time,’ Tarin said. If he headed to Mammoth Camp, he would be home in time to help forage the last berries and nuts. The marshes would be crisping underfoot and mushrooms and lichens would be in abundance. The ptarmigan would barely be changing colour. Autumn would be reaching its peak and the snow would still be a moon cycle away.
‘If I go after Kaija and Luuka . . .’
He fell silent, considering. If there were no delays, there was still a chance they could be home with the first snow- falls. They could craft snowshoes from birch wood and still travel well into Winter.
If there are no delays.
Jarkko, Markku and Jarmo would look after Mammoth Clan. Wolf Clan only had the three of them and the animals.
‘I think I must listen to my Spirit Guides,’ Tarin said. ‘I see the path they wish me to take.’ He placed Utu on his shoulder and scratched him between his eyes. ‘I will go after Kaija and Luuka. I will help them follow Senja and then we will all go to Mammoth Clan. Our clan is stronger if we stick together.’ Now that he had made the decision, he felt a great weight lift from his shoulders. He wondered that grief and sorrow could be so heavy.
‘So, you have sung your song, Tarin Spirit Keeper?’
Tarin nodded. ‘I have sung my song, and it is a good song.’ The two smiled at each other. Then Tarin faltered. ‘But I will miss you, Shaman. Where will you go now?’
‘To my people.’ Minna stood and the raven jumped onto her shoulder. Tarin was startled to come face to face with the large, glossy, black bird. It tilted its head to one side and studied him with brilliant eyes. He reached a hesitant finger towards it and touched the thick feathers at its throat.
Toc toc toc . . . The raven chirruped to him and bit his finger gently.
‘She likes you,’ Minna said. ‘She thinks you are very young, but you have sisu.’
Tarin smiled. Sisu! An old word meaning courage and great strength of spirit, only he had never thought that applied to him. His father had sisu, and his mother, and Kaija, too. Especially Kaija.
A lump stuck in Tarin’s throat and he swallowed. He gripped Minna’s shoulder.
‘I will see you again, Minna Raven. Fly well.’
‘Fly well, Tarin Owl. Wherever you are, and whatever song you are singing.’
Kaija knelt
by a small spring of water and drank deeply. Even after quenching her thirst, she stayed where she was, watching the water trickle through her fingers and enjoying the sparkle of sunshine. She had brought down a feather- footed ptarmigan with her sling and intended to cook it for their dinner, but at the moment, all she wanted to do was sit by the spring and enjoy the feeling of being alive.
Two nights ago, they had been attacked by wolves, and Kaija still felt the fear in her stomach like a heavy stone. She raised her head to look for Luuka and the wolves – just to make sure they were safe and still with her. She didn’t know what she’d do if she lost them. She never wanted to be alone again.
The sun disappeared behind a cloud and Kaija shivered. Last time she had been alone she had thought she would die. Then she had found Tarin, and he helped her rescue Luuka.
Her heart sank further. She wouldn’t think of Tarin. Not yet. It hurt too much, and she would see him again one day. They had promised each other. As soon as they had caught up with her mother, they would all travel together to Mammoth Clan. She nodded her head in determination. She would see him again one day.
Luuka’s piercing whistle called for Rohk and Nilkka. The wolves had started leaving them for stretches of time, running ahead or following a scent, but after the attack in the night, Kaija didn’t want them too far out of sight. Rohk’s muzzle was still scratched and sore and Nilkka had an injured paw.
Kaija shivered again, remembering the terror she felt when the wolves had rushed into the darkness. She still didn’t know what had driven off the strange wolf pack, but she thanked the Spirits every morning and every evening for keeping them safe.
She had bathed the wolves’ injuries and given them long cuddles, and for the next day and night, both wolves had stayed very close to their human companions. But evening was falling once more and the smells of the sparse forest they were travelling through were irresistible.
‘Are we making camp?’ she asked Luuka, as he appeared through the trees with the wolves loping behind him.