by Robyn Carr
Through Maelwine’s discontented lecture, Felise simply looked at him, not reacting in any way. When he was done she spoke very calmly. “We’ll decide upon the sleeping rooms when my lord’s preference is known,” she said simply, walking past her brother and out of the room.
There was no question but that it would be weeks or months before Segeland and its town would appear equal to a noble demesne. By the time the sun was setting, there were a few rabbits on spits over a fire in the main room, and enough bowls and platters had been scoured to serve the food upon. The grain was stale and provided only flat bread, some eggs were stewing and the drippings from the meat would provide a thick, seasoned gravy. No candles could be found, but torches aplenty lit the large room. Spirits were not low but quiet, since the day had been full for everyone.
Felise didn’t know how many of those dining there saw great promise in the hall. Everyone gathered, whether sitting at the long trestle table or on the floor, would be thenceforth in residence, with the exception of the Scelfton men. Twenty or so men-at-arms, plus fourteen pages subject to the knights, two serving women--Daria and Vespera--and the lord and lady would call this home. It was frankly a modest group for a keep of this size, but in her mind she envisioned their growing numbers.
Royce dined beside her, his mood only slightly better. He had spoken little, mainly answering her questions and making no further comment. She had barely seen him about the hall, as his occupation had been to see that the stables were fit for the destriers that would bear his knights. But at least he did not seem beset by some strange confusion. It was not unreasonable, in her mind that he would be of saddened spirit in this environment.
Still, she continually thought of their days at the Chaney house. She almost laughed as she remembered wondering if she would ever consider that a tender memory. He had been mostly gentle and kind to her before the Scelfton knights appeared. His mood had been even and he was good-tempered. The nights had been filled with passion, and while it had been new to her, she had reveled in it. What she hoped for Segeland was that it would become a decent home made rich by the robust nature of its tenants and nights like those at the Chaney house. It did not seem impossible. Possible, she thought, if Royce could resign himself to life with her here.
She allowed Daria her freedom in the hall, but bade Vespera to stay near and dine at their table. Thus the woman sat beside Felise and regularly interrupted her meal to make a suggestion or ask a question. They were nearly finished eating when Master Colbert came to the hall with a small group of villagers in tow. He stood just inside the door, twisting his hat in his hands, his companions standing without and in wait.
Felise followed Royce as he rose to see to the bailiff. “I have found two men who will work and whose wives will help in the hall, and four young men ... the young do not remember Lord Leighton well enough to ... that is ...”
“I understand,” Royce grumbled. “Bring them in.”
Felise strained to look around her large husband and judge these people who would work with her. They kept their eyes mostly downcast as they entered, staying just inside the door and reluctant to come further. Master Colbert recited their names but she could not attach them to individuals. Townsend, Braserus, Mackery, Jeremy, Richter, and Thomas. She nodded with each name, trying to give a comforting smile, but the people were obviously jittery. Royce likewise nodded, but he was a long time silent.
“It will be good to have you in service,” he finally said, not much enthusiasm in his voice.
Felise was troubled not only by the people here, but by her husband who seemed to be endorsing this gloom. She took a deep breath and bolstered herself.
“You have lodgings with your families?” she asked.
Nearly all eyes rose to meet hers as the people nodded.
“And you are willing to work in this hall?” Again they nodded. “Then you shall be bidden here during the light hours and you may return to your families for sleep. When such a time comes that you do not think ill of this hall, there will be a place for you through the day and night. And you will be paid for your work. Does this agreement suit you?”
There were nods all around and two smiles from the youngest of the meager group.
“Thank you, Master Colbert. I shall see you again at cockcrow,” she said.
When they returned to their dinner, hardly cooled during the brief introductions, Royce turned to her to compliment her. “It would appear you have more experience in this than I would have allowed. I believe you gave them peace of mind.”
“My lord, I have no experience whatever in the problems of this hall. I swear by the Virgin, I have never encountered such fear and worry.”
“You have not known the place for as long as I ... nor so long as they.”
“You were here as a child?” she asked. He nodded quite gravely. “But not in residence for a very long time?” she asked.
Royce unhurriedly chewed on a mouthful of food, then took a deep breath. “It was in fact my mother’s father who saw to my rearing and training. He was allowed a brief visit here to judge his daughter’s health. He liked none of what he saw, but the thing that plagued him most was my treatment. He was a fine old gentleman who knew that the worst had already been done and could see no usefulness in any further waste of life. It was apparent I was born of my father and his captive wife ... but my grandfather thought that to leave me here might be dangerous. He took me away.”
“Your father mistreated you?” she asked, trying to keep her questions gentle.
“Nay, but he favored my older brother, Aylworth, and my mother could not look on me. Every year I spent here, I was hiding from one of them, lest some angry hand smite me just for the color of my eyes or set of my jaw.” He looked pointedly into her eyes. “This ugly scar, lady, comes from the back of my mother’s hand. My father would have gowned my mother richly, and he did give her jewels and furs and many valuable gifts, but none of this soothed her injury. He had taken her from another man; a man who never tried to rescue her. Her hatred burned deep and, in the end, burned me. ‘Twas a rich ring my father purchased that caused the mark you look on now.”
Felise wished to keep pity from her eyes, but the image of a small boy being struck by his mother caused her agony. She let her hand touch his, and he flinched slightly.
“Riches mean little when love is lacking,” she said softly. “When did your mother die?” she asked.
“Not long after my grandfather took me away from here.”
“She valued life little,” Felise said solemnly.
“She could not tolerate the fact that a man she did not want could take her so easily. Forsooth, he took her, wed her outside the church laws, and got her with child. She had nothing to say of it.”
“Did she not try to tolerate him, Royce? Was he so cruel--”
“Felise, I do not know. How would I?”
“I’m sorry. I would not cause you pain with bad memories; it’s just that it is difficult to understand people who would not try to rise above their misfortune. When I face difficulties--”
“Wherein lies the difference, madam?” he asked, his tone harsh, as if he was offended. “You, of all, would understand the misery of being forced against your will. And if finding that was not insult enough, imagine loving another and being denied him. Surely you would understand my mother’s heart better than I.” He stopped himself and seemed to struggle with the words. “It is of no matter,” he finally said. “You will be neither chained nor abused. If you can find naught but misery here, ‘twill be a hell of your own making and one I cannot set right.”
He turned back to his dinner, and she watched his internal struggle as it played on his face. His brows drew together and his jaw was tense as he ground the food. Again she believed that his greatest agony lay in having a bride he wished none of thrust upon him. He had been forced, and if that was not a tragedy great enough, he loved and wanted another.
She, too, looked down at her plate. The food its
elf was poor enough to spoil her appetite, but his hostile words only made the meal that much less desirable. She struggled with tears that threatened to fall. She began to think Royce would repeat his mother’s despair, never even looking to see if some gift lay hidden within this indignity.
Felise was not so filled with vanity that she could easily place herself above Lady Celeste, but she wondered how that frail dame had managed to become so treasured in Royce’s mind. She was troubled with it, feeling certain that she was nothing like Celeste in any way ... highly doubting she could be, even if that was her husband’s desire.
Need I imitate the lady’s pale beauty? she asked herself. Or show him that I am stronger and therefore more worthy? Or mayhap I should remain still while the memory of the other woman fades?
She found little enthusiasm for conversation with any of the others, whose plates were emptying all around her. The long day was quickly coming to an end.
“My lord,” she beckoned quietly, not looking at him as she spoke, “we have not yet laid down our pallets. I would leave the matter of rooms to you, though I have looked through the chambers and there is adequate space for all.”
He seemed to grow stiff at her side, troubled by the matter.
“The lord’s chamber is in civil repair, messire,” she said softly. “You will find it comfortable enough. It is perhaps the best room in the hall.”
“You have seen the lady’s chamber as well?” he asked.
Felise noticed that Maelwine had looked up from his plate and was staring at Royce.
“I have seen it. Work needs be done there, as everywhere else.”
“I will not ask that you take the room,” Royce said evenly.
“What would you have me do, Royce?” she asked.
He sighed deeply. “There is space enough within the keep; perhaps another room can be found for you.”
Felise felt her heart skip a beat. He did not offer to share his room. She had feared, the day through, that he would set her further from him with every passing moment.
“I am aware that the room is the largest available to you, but it is filled with the ghosts of a grim past, and I see no need for you to take it simply because it was designed for the lady of the hall. I, too, saw the condition of the room.” He looked at her as if he would look through her. “Name the chamber of your choice and I will lay a fire in that hearth for your comfort.”
Felise quieted her trembling insides as best she could, searching for some inner wisdom. Her fondest hope had been that he would offer his room to share, his bed as hers. That he did not was one disappointment. She felt, from his words and actions, that it would be a long time before he would accept her as his wife and lady, but she would not let him set her far away. On some future day, should he prove tractable and willing, she intended to be near. If it was not possible for him to put aside his misery tonight, then she would at least show him that the ghosts of painful memories need not haunt them further.
“The lady’s chamber is more than adequate. I will make a few alterations to improve it, with your permission.”
“You prefer it over another room?” he asked, his expression strained as if the notion hurt him.
“‘Tis the lady’s chamber and shares a common door to the lord’s chamber,” she said. “That is where I should be.” It occurred to her to mention that he could use that door, but she lacked the courage.
Maelwine’s fist hit the table in unconcealed rage. “I won’t allow my sister in that room until the bars, bolts, and brackets for chains are disposed of.”
Royce looked at him sharply, his palms pressed to the table and his thighs straining as if he would rise. Felise put her hand on his arm and spoke quickly to Maelwine. “Then pray hurry to your task of remedy, brother mine, for I am weary and would sooner find sleep than worry over some old furnishings that have no importance to me. If you wish the bars and bolts removed, then you may see to it. And I beg you remember, Royce did not install those implements to use against me.” She settled her voice to a gentler tone. “Many changes need to be made, Maelwine. Do not delay us with harsh words and insults.”
Royce relaxed his body, though he was still staring at Maelwine. “The lady has chosen her room. Any improvement you deem necessary, you may attend to.”
Felise sighed in relief and turned to Vespera. “Will you help me in the chamber, madam? It has been such a long day.”
The women escaped up the stairs, Felise fighting back the tears and going quickly, sure in her mind that Maelwine and perhaps her other brothers would be along to take the locks from the doors before she could even collect herself. She entered the room and stood within, breathing deeply, trying to smooth her hurt feelings.
“Felise, you are not afraid of this room?” Vespera asked.
“Nay,” she said almost angrily. “Why would I fear this room? ‘Tis not a person, but a thing. There is naught here to harm me. It is the room allowed the mistress of this hall, joined to the master’s room, and whether he wills it or not, I am the lady here now. That he wants none of me is clear, but I will not be placed far down the hall where some lesser servant of his will must reside. I am his wife; I will take the chamber.”
“It only seemed he did not wish it so,” Vespera quietly tried to correct.
“Nay, he does not wish it so,” she said, her voice catching. “Many things plague Royce, not the least of which is his marriage with me.” Large tears rolled helplessly down her cheeks as she looked beseechingly into Vespera’s sympathetic eyes. “He cares naught for dower riches, which should be clear to all of us after seeing his home. The only reason I am here is that he has a fierce loyalty to Henry’s order. Would that the king had ordered him to love me as well.”
Vespera slowly stroked her arm. “Mayhap that will come with time.”
“That challenge is the worst of all,” Felise said as she wept. “And one I know not how to meet. But if yon lord of this wretched castle means to show me as weak, he shall fail, for I will work. And if he would reject me for my fear of ghosts, I shall end that tonight, by burying his mother’s memory as I live peacefully in her room. And if he chooses his grief and misery over a blessed union that would yield him peace, I cannot change him. But I will not help him to cling to his despair.”
Her anger vented, she collapsed into Vespera’s arms and the woman gently held her, rubbing her back and caressing her hair. “Oh, my darling,” she soothed. “I am so very proud of you. ‘Twas my prayer every day and every night of my life that you would grow strong and with courage and wisdom. You are the only possible woman to rule this hall. There, sweet ...”
Felise slowly withdrew from Vespera’s arms and looked at her. “Beg pardon, madam,” she sniffled. “What did you say?”
Vespera smiled. “I said you are the only woman worthy of making this a home for Royce. No other could possibly do what you can do.”
“Before that,” she asked. “What did you say before?”
“I said I have prayed for you ... for your courage and wisdom in this troublesome circumstance. And you see? Our prayers were answered. You shall win this battle, Lady Felise. And I am proud of you.”
Felise cocked her head, for that was not what she thought she had heard.
“Dry your eyes,” Vespera said, running a gentle finger along Felise’s cheek. “I’m certain Sir Maelwine will not let you sleep before the doors are repaired to his liking.” She whispered, as if there was some great secret. “Do not let your noble brother see that you weep. He will surely think the worst.”
Felise nodded, silently agreeing that this extra protection by her brothers was causing her more trouble than help. She lifted her hem to wipe her eyes, and the two women began unrolling pallets to sleep upon.
Ten
Within just a few days, the work inside the hall had progressed in a manner that pleased everyone. Even Felise, in her most optimistic thoughts, could not have hoped for so much. Each of Royce’s men-at-arms seemed to have some special skill
in either carpentry, masonry, or another craft that was put to quick use. Money and hard work were needed to make it a rich-looking hall, but it emerged as safe and adequate in little time.
The men Royce had gathered over a period of many years had not served any other Leightons before, and while they were not protected from the gossip about the family, they found no fault with Royce. They, like Felise, seemed to brush aside the old worries of a family curse and worked diligently to make Segeland an acceptable place. That faithful troop took the edge off the bitterness that seemed to hover over the hall and town. Whenever some unkind comment was made about the previous lords, a knight would simply respond, “That was before Sir Royce.” Seeing her husband through the eyes of his loyal vassals gave her hope. They had been with him a long time, and none doubted his goodness and strength.
Daria’s first assignment to the kitchens had evolved quickly into her management of same. She was heady with the power of commanding the two village women and experimenting with the food brought from the forest and Coventry. Her duties to Felise lapsed immediately, and Felise did not miss the maid’s attentions in her bedchamber.
Vespera, on the other hand, quickly assumed the chamber duties for Felise. She began brushing her long hair, preparing her baths, arranging and keeping her clothing and other personal items, and staying close not only as a servant but as a companion. All three women thrived on the change.
Early one morning, while Vespera was laboriously braiding and winding Felise’s hair, Felise clicked off a long litany of chores she would attend to. “While this hall could occupy me for long weeks to come, I see that it is time I took a closer look at the town and people. I don’t know what Royce has done there.”
“He seems to be concerned mainly with the perimeters of the property, the wall, and the stables,” Vespera said. “I see him ride out often, but he spends little time here.”