“Derek, every guy lost his chance with me the day you sat down on those steps beside me.”
Chapter Eleven
Jesika
The next few months flew by. Derek and I went on a few one on one dates together, but we mostly had kid friendly outings. It’s really great including Jaxon and Emma. This is definitely a new experience for the both of them that I can tell they truly enjoy. I know Emma has never had a woman figure in her life besides her grandma and even though Jaxon had both of his parents, he mainly just had me, since Jake worked a lot. So this is new territory for all of us, and it sure is a breath of fresh air.
Derek is awesome with my son. He comes over and helps him practice football since the end of the season is upon us and all the important games are coming to a close. Every now and then we play a little two on two. Just like today. Derek always sneaks in at least one tackle on me, so he can sneak in a kiss, tickle me a little, and then steals the ball once I drop it, and runs off for a touchdown.
He is such a cheater, but I can’t help that I’m falling for him.
“Girls against boys.” Derek says as he spirals the ball up in the air.
“That isn’t very fair, but I think me and Emma can take you boys. What do you think, Emma?” She’s crouched down in her ready to run stance. This girl means business. I guess that’s what happens when being raised by just your dad.
“Bring it,” she says as she uses two fingers to point to her eyes and then at Jaxon. Telling him without words ‘I got my eyes on you.’ Jaxon just laughs and rolls his eyes at her.
Derek bends far enough down behind Jaxon and starts rattling off numbers. “Jaxon zero six, Emma zero seven, Derek twenty eight, Jesika twenty six. HUT HUT HUT. Go deep Jaxon.” Jaxon takes off to the far right with Emma on his heels. Derek tosses the ball in a perfect spiral before he lets me tackle him down.
“Pinned ya again.” I say as I sit on top of him in claiming victory.
“Okay, you win. What movie is that from?” he asks as he pulls me down for a kiss.
“Lion King of course.” I say against his lips as the kids run up.
“Boys rule.” Jaxon beams as he jumps around and spikes the ball.
I look at Derek, “I thought we won.” I stick my lip out in a pout.
He cups my cheek, “Sorry, doll. Better luck next time.”
I smack his arm, “Fine, Emma and I will just go in and do girl things then.” I look over at her, “Right, Emma?”
She has her hands on her hips. “Yeah, that’s right. We’re gonna go do girl things. Be jealous…very jealous.” She looks straight at Jaxon. This girl is feisty and I love it.
“I’m jealous alright.” Jaxon teases.
I bend down to give Derek a peck but he pulls me in tight. “Thanks for tackling me. I love it when you’re in control.” I feel his excitement growing.
“Oh yeah, well you better control that mister.” I joke.
“That precious, is beyond my control.” I know what he means. He’s not pushy. It will happen when I want it to happen. And the idea of it happening sends butterflies to my stomach.
I nuzzle my head in the crook of his neck, lightly dabbing it with kisses and enjoying the fact that I’m able to rile him up, but I quit before I get him too excited because I’m not trying to be a tease.
“Soon, grasshopper. All good things come to those that wait.” I start to pull away so I can get up but he locks his eyes on me and I’m temporary spellbound.
“I never believed in that statement until you came into my life. I’d wait a lifetime to have you. In whatever way possible. I want everything between us to be perfect. Don’t ever think that—” he looks down to where we are connected, “—has any control over what I’m starting to feel for you. You just let me know when you’re ready baby, and I’ll make sure to take my sweet time with you.” I instantly have goose bumps running down my body thinking about all the things he could do to my body. He laughs and runs his hands up and down my arms, “You cold baby?”
“As a matter of fact I am. It is November.”
“That’s what I’d say too. Especially since this is Oklahoma and just because it’s between fall and winter doesn’t really mean a damn thing.” Ahh, he’s right. Our weather is so unpredictable and honestly it’s a good seventy degrees today and with the fact that we’ve been running around outside for the past hour there is clearly no reason I should be shivering…besides him being the reason for them.
For the most part, Emma and I stay in and do girlie things. We paint each other’s nails, bake cookies, and watch High School Musical over and over since it is her favorite movie. I know she doesn’t get to do these types of things due to a certain female not being in her life. Knowing that her mother isn’t around to do all these simple things with her breaks my heart. I think Derek feels the same way about Jaxon with Jake not being here.
Jaxon has gotten to the point where he prefers Derek taking him alone to his ball practice and not me. I understand he needs the manly influence in his life and also wants someone to fill the void of where his dad once was. I am extremely thankful that Derek stepped up to the plate and has taken him under his wing. It’s like we have exactly what each other needs. Besides the fact that we are so in tuned as a couple, we have what our children had been missing out on. And honestly, that’s the most important thing.
Derek is the epitome of the word gentlemen. He is sweet, funny, respectful and generous. He never tries anything more than kissing and doesn’t get all hanky panky with me. He jokes, yes, but in a respectful way. I like knowing that he wants me, but isn’t overbearing about it and doesn’t make it an issue. After going over a year without being touched and having the closeness of a man, I’m ready for him to get touchy feely with me. I’m tired of using that damn toy Mallory bought me. I’m ready for the real thing. I’m ready for Derek. But knowing that Jake has been the only guy I’ve been with the last seven years and the only man I ever went the distance with, also freaks the shit out of me.
It’s now been a week since Derek allowed me to tackle him down—since he basically told me the sex ball was in my court…a court that has only been home to a one woman team for far too long. A woman who feels completely off her sex game and knows she wouldn’t be able fake a lay-up if her life depended on it. Knowing that I needed serious advice I call Mallory before Derek shows up to get Jaxon for practice.
“Hey twat waffle,” she says answering her phone. I have stopped questioning why she can’t just answer her damn phone like any other normal human being with a simple “hello”. The reasons she does anything the way she does are beyond my comprehension and they just add to her character.
“What the hell is a twat waffle?” I ask, but don’t care enough to get an explanation.
“Never mind. Can you meet me in an hour at the mall? I need a huge caramel Frappuccino and some serious retail therapy. You in?”
“Hell yeah, you can count me in. I could use a new pair of heels. I need something flashy to go with this tiny black sequined dress I just bought. I’m thinking sparkly silver heels. What do you think?”
“Yeah sure, sounds great! You look amazing in whatever you wear. I don’t know why you put so much effort into it. Don’t you already own basically ever color six inch heel that’s ever been made?”
“Yeah I do, but what fun is that? I can’t just stop buying new heels because of it. How about I just come pick you up? There’s really no point in us both driving.” I agree with her before hanging up the phone.
I go change out of the sweats I’ve been lounging around all day in and throw on a pair of butt hugging jeans and a form fitting yellow tee with my black Nike shoes. I lightly do my make-up. By lightly, I mean I throw on some bronzer and a shimmery eye shadow. I’m not even in the mood to fix my hair, but instead of throwing it in a messy bun as usual, I at least put it in a civilized pony tail.
Derek eyes me suspiciously when I tell him Mallory is picking me up to go do some shopping while he
takes Jaxon to practice. Emma is at a birthday party so I had just planned on being lazy and reading a book while home alone anyways.
“You want to go shopping with Mallory?” Derek asks crossing his strong arms.
He knows I hate shopping. I end up confessing to him that I’m in desperate need of some girl time with Mallory with a nice cold caramel Frappuccino and the only way to get both is the mall. I also remind him that’d I’d just be sitting at home bored and alone anyways. He smiles as I finish telling him and pulls me into his chest with those same strong arms that were crossed giving me the deepest, longest kiss. Our tongues collide with one another, causing me to shiver throughout my body. This kiss right here, makes me feel that he’s just as ready for that next step as I am.
“Mmm, your kisses never get old Derek.” It only confirms my plans for us tonight. Which is why, I’m torturing myself on this shopping rendezvous, because I desperately need advice from the sex queen.
Mallory doesn’t even pull into the driveway. She just pulls in front of my house and honks. She’s a woman on a mission; nothing comes between her and a hot new pair of heels. Nothing.
I swiftly climb in her car and as soon as I shut my door she speeds off. She glances in my direction; she rarely ever pays full attention to the road. “Okay, so what store are we going to first twat tart?”
What the hell is her new obsession with twats? She’s always coming up with the weirdest phrases that I diss at first and then freaking end up using them as often as she does. I ignore her new catch phrase, so I don’t have to pay her glory later on in life when I start using it myself.
“I don’t really care Mal, you’re the one needing new shoes. I just really need a caramel Frappuccino and some good ole fashioned sex advice. Do you think you can help a sister out?”
I’m very glad I chose to tell her this on the car ride, instead of when we made it inside the mall because she is now squealing with delight. Like one of those high school girls when they get asked out by the quarterback and they run back to the circle of girls who have been watching from the row of lockers nearby. They start jumping up and down saying ‘Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!’. Yeah, that’s pretty much what Mallory is doing now.
“Freaking-A Mallory chill. You’re going to crack your windshield or something. And watch the road before you take out an innocent bystander. It’s not like I haven’t had sex before. It’s not the end of the world that I’m wanting to now.”
“I know Jes, I know, but I can’t help how happy I am for you. I’ve been waiting for this day to show its glorious face for what feels like for-ev-er.” She drags the word out. “I mean damn, I’ve been trying to have enough sex for the both of us, but sheesh a girl can only handle so much dick.” Yep. This is my best friend. The one I’m currently asking for sex advice. I can’t help but laugh at her, she is blunt as hell and I love it.
“At least you don’t have to worry about needing protection,” she says as she slides on a pair of metallic silver heels once we settle into a shoe store. “Well, that is unless you’re worried he could be contaminated.”
“Contaminated? Really Mallory? We’re not talking about a freaking lab rat or a radioactive mutant. Pretty sure it’s not considered contaminated dear.” I shake my head at her as she shimmies down another shoe isle.
“Well, they might as well be considered contaminated and should come with a warning label as well. So, if we chose to play with fire we can at least put on our protective gear to try to avoid getting burned. Not like there’s a hundred percent guarantee that shit won’t happen anyways though.”
Mallory and I spent a good two hours walking around the mall talking about sex, all the ins and outs of it, literally, on the quest for the perfect pair of heels for her dress. The minutes seemed to drag out for me as I was counting down the time to sharing all of myself with Derek tonight. The part of myself I didn’t ever think I’d ever want to share with any man again.
I’m now back home getting ready for our date tonight, the one I was able to sneak in for us. I can’t believe I’m finally ready to proceed with this part of my life. The part of my life I never thought I’d be comfortable sharing again. The part of my life that I thought would never allow me to have feelings for another man again. I’m not saying I love Derek, but I like him, I like him a lot. I am in like with him. Yeah, that’s all it is. We’ve only been dating each other a few months. There’s no way I can be in love with him yet. Is there?
Well, well, well. If he wasn’t eyeing me with suspicion earlier about my sudden interest in shopping, then he definitely is now. I saunter my way out of my bedroom with a grin that I cannot contain. He knows I’m up to something. I wish there was a way to pull one over on this man, but he makes it damn near impossible.
“Quit looking at me like that.” I playfully smack his arm. “I told you it’s just a date night. You know one of those things we haven’t really taken time to do the last few weeks?” I’m lying through my teeth and he knows it.
Gah! Why does he have to be so in tune with me? He can probably smell me like I’m a dog in heat. God knows that’s how I feel. Battery operated toys aren’t meant to replace the real deal forever. They’re more like a temporary fix and mine has been used way past its expiration date.
I had called him earlier from the mall, letting him know that Mallory was watching the kids for us tonight so we could go out. I didn’t bother to tell him that she was staying the night at my house leaving me with the option of staying the night at his. I haven’t stayed the night at his place. Ever. Hell, I haven’t slept anywhere with him yet. Of course we had the occasional nap on the couch together where we passed out watching TV, but the whole intentional I’m going to sleep the whole night beside you thing? No, never.
I’m craving it though. I’m craving Derek fiercely; his soft skin caressing mine, his lips all over me, his tongue dancing along mine, and his hands all over my body. Okay, now I really feel like I’m in heat. It’s like I’ve never felt this amount of want for a man before. I know I need to feel this. To know without a doubt that it’s okay to want this. I need him. Sounds pathetic I know, but damn if it’s not how I feel.
Chapter Twelve
Derek
Jesika thinks she’s sneaky. It’s actually pretty cute watching her try to pull a fast one on me. Like I don’t know what’s running through that pretty little mind of hers. No doubt it’s the same damn thing that has been becoming its own personal resident up in mine. Damn, it’s not like I can fucking help my thoughts about her. Especially with the more time we’ve been spending with each other.
Its crazy how seeing her at home in her natural atmosphere and just being a mom is an absolute turn on. You wouldn’t expect it to be, but to a man like me, one who has craved the family life since his crazy ex up and left him, it is the most attractive thing ever. I’ve said it from the get go, Jes has no idea how amazing she is or how amazingly sexy she is either. I hope one day she feels as lucky to have me as I do her.
To ease the nerves I know are creeping up on her, hell even me, I go along with her saying that tonight is just another date night for us. It’s definitely going to be a date night. We have a very overdue date with my bed that will be taking place tonight. I have got to calm this shit down because just thinking about what’s going to take place is getting me all worked up. Not sure I’d be able to explain why I had a boner once we reach the restaurant.
As we sit looking at our menus, I try thinking about anything and everything to get my mind off of my growing desire that is still trying to take over.
I take a deep breath and start thinking about baseball, throwing the ball back and forth—back and forth—back and forth. Not working. Umm Okay. How about the drums; the way it feels to just close my eyes and lose the feeling and let the music flow right through me. But damn if I can’t picture playing the drums without seeing Jesika and her perfect sexy hips moving to my rhythm; the beat I make by pounding on them. That isn’t all I want to pound on.
/> Shit.
Dammit, even when I try to think of anything and everything to get my mind off of what’s going to take place, it still fucking goes back to her. I’m doomed. I shift in my seat trying to readjust my now visible bulge without making it too noticeable.
“You alright over there Derek? Ants in your pants?” She giggles. Shit she knows what’s up. She’s just as aware of me as I am her. That’s actually comforting.
“Yep, something like that Jes.” I give her a wink, “I’m just really looking forward to having you to myself all night.” Ha, I shouldn’t have to be the only one visibly worked up about what’s to come.
“Well, what if I have a curfew Derek? Did you ever think about that? I do have a child you know,” she says jokingly.
“I already tipped the babysitter an advance for overtime. So, I think I covered all the bases for ya.” That leaves her speechless. Now without a shadow of a doubt, we both know what tonight holds.
I don’t ever remember dinner and a movie taking so fucking long, but damn if it’s not dragging ass tonight. I expected Jes to be super shy and reserved all night, but like always she surprised me. She didn’t let the knowledge of us getting to know each other on an intimate level tonight affect her mood.
As we turn on the street to mine and Seth’s house, I send up a silent prayer that he isn’t home. Thankfully he isn’t. We walk hand in hand up the sidewalk to my front door, neither one of us saying a word. The porch light is the only light illuminating the inside of my house; which doesn’t help much.
It’s still dark as hell. “Wait here while I get the light.”
Leaving the door open for the needed light to find my way, I reach down and lightly kiss her lips as I pass by. I hate how nervous I am; I’ve never been this damn nervous about having sex before. Maybe because I know with Jesika it’s not just sex. I have feelings for this woman and I want tonight to be special for both of us. Especially knowing that I’m most likely the first man she has been with since her husband died. Making my way back to her, I know the ball has to fully be in my court for anything to happen.
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3) Page 64