Deep down, I could tell myself that as much as I wanted, but it wouldn’t override the fact that I still wanted Will Strickland every which way I could get him and that was a thought too much to handle.
I woke to my phone vibrating in my pocket. Sitting bolt upright, I wasn’t sure where I was for a moment.
“What time is it?” Will asked sleepily. I was then I realized I’d fallen asleep against him and my stomach flip-flopped.
Looking at my phone, I saw a text from Dee. Where you at? xx
“Five.”
“Shit.”
I scrambled off the bed, my entire body aching to be touched. “I need to go.”
“Zoe,” he began, but I was already out the door. There’s one thing I don’t want to be and that’s a notch on Will Strickland’s bedpost.
“Zoe Granger,” Dee declared as I walked into the band room. “I’d never thought I’d see the day.”
“I don’t want to know,” I grumbled, my head thoroughly scrambled with thoughts of Will’s arms around me.
“Simone told me you went off with Will. Upstairs.”
“I didn’t,” I began to protest, but the door opened, letting in Louie and Frank and my mouth clamped shut.
Dee gave me a knowing look and began hauling the gear out to the stage. Before anyone else could have a go, I picked up my guitar case and leads and followed him. When I went back for my hard case of pedals the room was empty save for the one person I wasn’t ready to see just yet.
“You okay?” Will asked, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah,” I said quietly, moving an amp out of the way to get to my stuff.
“You sure? You bolted outta there…”
“I’m okay. It was just late. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s okay, Zoe. I don’t mind.” The amusement in his voice irritated me more than it should and I felt the ice queen inside of me rear her ugly head.
“I’ve gotta set this up,” I mumbled, hauling the hard case into the middle of the room.
“Sometimes I don’t know who you are.”
I glanced up at him, my heart twisting. He was watching me with a confused look in his eyes and I couldn’t say that I blamed him. I wasn’t sure who I was anymore, either.
“Up there on that stage? You sing from your heart. Everyone believes everything you say cos you mean it. Every girl in the room wants to be you and every guy wants to fuck you.”
All I can do is stare at him. The way he said the word fuck stripped me bare and I felt desire burning inside of me. It took all my strength not to fling myself across the room and kiss him.
“Whatever the hell you do on stage, do that now. Do it all the time. That girl up there is Zoe, I don’t know who you are.”
And just like that, he threw a bucket of metaphoric ice all over me. Anger rose inside me, distorting my expression.
“What happened to you?” he said with a frown like I’m some kind of puzzle.
I shrugged.
“Shrugging is such a noncommittal gesture.”
“I wanted a noncommittal answer,” I retorted and hauled my hard case out of the room before he could berate me any further. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I ever would be.
For a small town, the gig that night was packed. It was just us and The Stabs, but it was more than enough to keep the locals happy. It was wild and before long the room was as hot as a furnace as two hundred sweaty humans jumped around having the time of their lives. Afterwards, most stayed behind, raking in a fortune for Big Foot behind the bar.
When he saw me waiting to be served, he pulled a bottle of Bulmers out of the fridge, popped the top off and gave it to me. “On the house,” he said with a wink. It was nice of him to remember what I ordered, let alone give me one for free. He really must have been swimming in piles of money tonight.
Before I could turn around and melt back into the crowd, a guy tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Great show tonight.”
I looked him up and down and he seemed harmless enough. “Thanks.”
“I’m Matt,” he offered his hand.
“Zoe.” I shook it to be polite.
“I’d offer to buy you a drink, but I see you already have one.”
“Sorry.” I shrugged a little uncomfortable.
He started talking to me about something inane and I tried to think of a polite way to discourage him. He seemed to edge closer into my personal space and I knew he was trying to pick me up. Wasn’t going to happen.
“Sorry, Matt, but I’m not interested.”
“Oh come on.” He reached over and ran a finger down the back of my hand.
“Sorry, but I’m…” I began more firmly, but was interrupted as a tattooed arm came down on the bar between us and I recognized the panther that crawled down his skin immediately. Will.
“She said she wasn’t interested, mate.” His voice was strained, and I knew he was epically pissed off.
“Will,” I said in his ear. “Drop it.”
He didn’t move, eyeing the guy with a dark look that said he’d thump him one if he didn’t go away.
Hoping it would snap him out of it, I slid my hand along the waistband of his jeans, my thumb grazing across the bare skin of his back. It had the desired effect alright. Immediately, his hand dropped from the bar and he stepped back.
Pulling my hand away, I shoved him hard. Offering the poor guy an apology, my hand fisted into Will’s shirt and I yanked him outside onto the deserted verandah.
“What the hell?” I hissed at him.
“Zo,” he said and I could see the apology clear in his eyes.
I stiffened and gave him a look. For some reason it was a bit too close for comfort. Him calling me Zo.
“What? We can’t be friends? I can’t look out for you? If not, then what have we been doing?”
I shrugged.
“You’re in a successful band, Zo. People are going to want a piece of you. That includes idiots like that guy. They wanna hear what you have to say and they’re gunna make up stuff that’s not nice and they will want to feel you up.” Was he drunk?
“Fucking hell, Will.”
He let out a tortured moan that scared the hell out of me. “I wanna know you. I’ve tried so hard. Why won’t you let me?”
I should have come back with, because I’m trying to fight this overwhelming attraction I have for you before it destroys my carefully placed facade, but instead I came out with, “What about that guy you almost punched? What about him?”
“He was bothering you.”
“Yeah, but I could have handled it myself. Without resorting to physical harm.”
“Shit, Zoe,” he said and ran a hand over his face. “I acted like a jerk. I didn’t do much to make you think I was nothing like my reputation.”
“That you’re a womanizing pervert? Or the one where you beat up on guys for talking to girls?”
“Say no once and you’re an elitist snob. Say yes once and you’re a womanizing bastard. Stick up for a mate and you’ve got an anger issue. Can’t catch a break.”
Impulsively, I held out a hand to him. He looked at it then his gaze met mine.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m throwing you a break. You need to catch it.”
A sly smile tugged at his lips and he took my hand, taking the opportunity to run a thumb over my knuckles. A shiver ran down my spine and I pulled away.
“Breaks over,” I said quietly, letting my gaze wander over the street below. I would’ve done anything to kiss him right then, but that was impulsive and stupid. Everything would change and I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to yet.
“You can’t hide away all the time.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Separation from that,” he pointed back into the pub, “is one thing as a muso, but another thing as a person.”
Somehow, I think he’s not saying it all.
“Is this your way of tell
ing me to get out more?”
“Kinda.”
“I can’t get more out than on that stage. That’s pretty out.”
“You know what I mean.”
Ignoring him, I looked out into the night. “It’s funny to think.”
“What?”
“Suddenly, people think I’m worth something and want to know me. Before, no one gave a crap. No one wanted to know shit about me. Don’t ever think I’ll fall for a smooth line from a random at the bar.”
“I wanted to know you before,” he said. “But, I wasn’t sure you existed.”
I had no idea what he meant. I searched his face for some kind of hint, but he turned away.
Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on the bannister, head dipping. “Would you believe me if I said I did it because I was jealous?”
I didn’t like where this was going. Edging away, I whispered, “Don’t.”
Will sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose. Abruptly, he straightened up to his full height and ran a hand through his hair, his expression unreadable. For a moment, I thought he was going to pull me into his arms and kiss me, but he turned on his heel, disappearing inside.
Shell-shocked, I sunk into a chair and my head fell into my hands. What the hell was I doing?
Chapter Seventeen
Will
I pushed through the crowd in the tiny pub and went straight up the stairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. I slid my back down the wall until I was on the floor and let my head rest between my knees.
Why the hell did I keep doing this? Whatever I did seemed to be either too much, too little or too stupid.
Yeah, she probably could have handled that guy, but I just had to come right in and act like the jealous boyfriend. I had no right.
What made it worse was the fact that I’d showed her the video I’d been working on. I started it a few days ago, after seeing her play that song with Damages. I didn’t do it to impress her, I wanted to make her happy. I wanted to show her how I felt because I was too chicken shit to say it.
I remembered the way she’d flinched when I’d asked about the scar on her arm and wondered if that had anything to do with her reluctance. Had someone hurt her before? Not emotionally, but physically? The thought made my rage simmer, that anyone could raise their hand to her. No wonder she’d been so pissed at me.
I hit my head back against the wall and ran my hands over my face with a groan. She’d fallen asleep in my arms and, fuck… it was all I could think about. I wanted her so much it burned. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to touch her everywhere. Fucking hell, I was hard right now.
I’d never felt like this about anyone in my whole entire life and it scared the absolute shit outta me. And I was screwing it up big time.
The moment she’d trusted me enough and let me hold her…I knew it. I knew I wanted her, but I wanted her forever. It wasn’t an attraction anymore. I was falling for her and somehow I knew that like was turning into love.
There was this awful feeling in my gut that told me by the way it was going, it was unrequited. Maybe I just needed to back off a little. Maybe she just needed a little space. Maybe I was the problem.
I was such a clueless asshole.
Chapter Eighteen
Zoe
“Who knew Canberra was this boring?” Dee complained as we dumped our bags into our hotel room.
“It’s our nations capital,” I said. “It’s full of government types and disgruntled locals.”
“Ugh, politics.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
“What are we going to do today? No show, no interviews.”
“There’s some nice museums?” I offered.
A devilish grin crept onto his face. “Pool party!”
“It’s not spring break, Dee.”
“Don’t be such a downer, Zo Zo. It’s hot out and there’s an outside pool.”
“I’m not into swimming that much.”
“You don’t have to swim,” he tried to convince me. “You can check out all the hot guys without their shirts on.”
“I don’t like your tone, Dee,” I smirked at him. “Anyway, I don’t have any bathers.”
“So?”
“So, I’m not swimming in my underwear.”
“I don’t think anyone will complain.” That earned him a sharp slap on the arm. “Ow! Seriously, go shopping with Simone. We’ll be by the pool.”
When I called Simone, she was all for it. It wasn’t long before I found myself in the car, on the way to the closest shopping center. Maybe a lazy day by the pool was just what we needed. Especially after last nights episode at the pub in the middle of nowhere. If anyone had gotten wind of what went down between me and Will, nobody had uttered a word. In fact, on the bus this morning, everything seemed normal.
The lunch time rush was bearing down on the shopping center when we got there and we had to circle a few times to find a park.
“I want this to be quick and painless,” I said, much to Simone’s amusement.
“Not much of a shopper?”
“Nope. In and out. That’s how I like it. Snatch and grab.”
Just inside the entrance was a large Target, so I dragged Simone inside and went straight for the bathers. I rifled through the rack and pulled out a black bikini. It wasn’t that revealing, boy shorts and a halter top. My color. My size. Thirty-five bucks.
“I’m done,” I declared.
“Bloody hell, Zoe!” Simone cried. “We’ve been here ten seconds.”
“Ten seconds too long.”
“Give me a minute,” she huffed and began looking through the leftovers.
“Okay.”
She held up a bright blue floral one piece and I shook my head. She held up a black and white polka dot number and I nodded. “I think this is it,” she said and as an after thought came out with, “What happened with you last night?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, knowing exactly what she was on about.
“You and Will. I saw you arguing.”
“Nothing.”
“Didn’t look like nothing.”
I shrugged. “His intensity level is unnerving. Especially after he’s had a few drinks.”
“What’s going on? I mean, is he into you?”
I shrugged. Yeah, he was.
“Do you want to be out of the friend zone?”
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“It’s been two years, right?”
“Right,” I said slowly, looking up at her from the rack of bathers.
“Well,” she began uncertainly, “aren’t you horny?” The last word came out a whisper and despite my own embarrassment, I laughed, slapping a hand over my mouth.
“Yeah.”
“That’s good, right?”
“No, I don’t think it’s good.”
“Why not?” I gave her a look and her eyes widened. “Oohhhhh.”
Sometimes Simone was so innocent it made me laugh.
“Let’s get outta here,” I said. “Maybe we all need some pool therapy.”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
By the time we got back to the hotel and changed, everyone was at the pool. And when I say everyone, I meant everyone. Dean had been back for a few days now and he was there with Pete, Louie and Sticks. Frank, Chris and Dee were fooling around in the pool. Even Bob our bus driver was kicked back in a banana lounge. I had to do a double take when I saw Will perched on the edge of the pool, watching the three idiots try to drown each other.
Right now, I was thankful that I had my sunnies on. The fronts were mirrored and that meant no one could see where I was looking, which was right at a half-naked Will. Now, I could see the tattoo on his chest was of an anatomical heart. But, I wasn’t looking at that.
“Zoe?” Simone elbowed me. “You’re drooling.”
“Shit. Did anyone notice?”
“No. You’re safe.”
I
breathed a sigh of relief and she led me outside. I wrapped an arm across my bare stomach, suddenly nervous. I knew I’d feel too exposed, so on the way out of the shops I’d picked up a pair of short women’s boardies to put over the bottoms. The moment we walked outside, Dee let out a loud wolf-whistle and everyone looked up to see us approach.
I felt Will’s eyes on me instantly and when I dared to glance his way, his gaze was full of heat. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and before he realized I was staring back, I turned away.
I sat on a free banana lounge next to Simone and she leaned over and whispered into my ear, “No one saw you drool, but everyone’s seeing Will slobber.”
“Simone,” I groaned. “Not now.”
She smirked at me and laid back, positioning herself for maximum sunbathing. Looking over the top of my sunnies, I caught Chris’ eye. He’d been doing some drooling of his own. I gave him a pointed look and he blushed.
“Nice threads, Hot Legs,” Dee said dripping water all over the place. He grabbed a towel and sat next to me. “I heard something went down with you last night.”
“What are you on about?” I wondered who had talked, but if Simone had noticed, then Dee definitely would have.
“What’s his face is more worked up than usual. And phwor, did you see his face when you walked out?”
My head sunk to my knees and I groaned.
“Hey,” he said loudly. “Wanna give me a haircut?”
“What? No. I don’t have any scissors.” Until three years ago, I’d been employed as a hairdresser. For some reason that was now lost on me, I wanted to cut hair for a living. As a career. I now saw that I was ill suited for it. The reason being, that you have to like people and after the break up, people and I didn’t get along. I’d cut ties with almost every aspect of that old life. I’d thrown away my scissors and equipment and every other reminder of that time that now seemed fake and empty.
“When you threw them out, I bin scabbed ’em when you weren’t looking.” Dee shrugged.
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3) Page 91