“Happy birthday, Hot Legs,” Dee whispered into my ear.
“God,” I complained, almost jumping out of my skin. “Say it a little louder, why don’t you.”
“I get why you didn’t want to celebrate before, but this year? Damn, Zo. You’ve got a hot best friend, a hot band and a hotter boyfriend. I’d be asking for presents. Big ones.”
“Since when are you hot?” I joked.
“Since always and forever. I have a butt that doesn’t quit.” He laughed, puffing out his chest and wiggling his ass. “Seriously, have you told Will it’s your…”
I slapped a hand over his mouth, before he could say the dreaded word, birthday. “No. I don’t do well being the center of attention.”
“Bloody hell, then what have you been doing the last few months?”
“That’s stage Zoe. She’s a different beast.” I remembered what Will had told me, about being different on stage than I was off. Somewhere between then and now, they’d become the same person.
“Whichever way you put it, you’re still a beast.”
Laughing, I turned to climb onto the bus, but I suddenly realized we were alone. Simone and Dean were nowhere in sight, by this time, they’d already be loading up the car. Even Bob was mysteriously absent from his spot in front of the bus, where he was usually smoking a cigarette and downing a coffee. Nine people were mysteriously not where they should be.
“Dee?”
“Yes?” he asked, a smug look on his stupid face.
“You didn’t?” I suddenly realized he’d been up to his usual meddling. He’d used our familiar arguing as a distraction.
“I didn’t what?” He shrugged, a lopsided grin on his face.
“I hate you so much right now.”
“If I didn’t annoy you at least once a day, then my work wouldn’t be done.”
I felt my face turn red and I slapped a palm against my flaming cheeks as if it was going to cool me down.
“C’mon,” Dee said, grabbing my hand.
As he pulled me up the stairs and onto the bus, everyone cheered and let out wolf whistles and started singing Happy Birthday, the dirty version, as I hid my flaming face in my hands. My past few birthdays had been pretty lonely affairs, passing without much of a blip on the radar, but this was too much. I suddenly felt embarrassed that all these people, people who I’d come to call friends and extended family, were all looking at me, wanting to make this day special. It was totally surreal and unexpected.
“Happy Birthday, Zo Zo,” Frank pulled me into his trademark bear hug.
Chris and Pete both hugged me and planted kisses on my cheek. Even Bob gave me a kiss on the cheek, before running out to have his awful, stinky cigarette. Dean clapped me on the shoulder and Simone pulled me into a long hug. Louie and Sticks got in on the action before my eyes collided with Will’s. He was holding a black guitar hard case towards the back, a wicked grin on his face.
“No way.” I gasped, making everyone laugh.
“Way,” Frank said, pushing me forward down the aisle.
Will watched me approach with a satisfied smirk on his face. Leaning the case along the seat, he flipped it open and there was that blue sunburst Fender I’d slobbered all over days ago.
“Guys,” I gasped. “This is too much.”
“Shut up, Hot Legs,” Dee said, looking over my shoulder. “If you don’t want it, I’ll have it.”
I elbowed him in the gut. “Hands off.”
Will watched me closely as I trailed my fingers along the strings. “Yea?” he asked.
“Yea,” I breathed, closing the case so I could thank him in style. Everyone seemed pleased with my reaction and cheered one more time before getting the hint and falling into their seats.
Will trailed a finger along my jaw, pushing my chin up.
“You weren’t talking about leads, were you?” I whispered against his lips.
“Nope.” I saw the sparkle in his eyes and the curve in his lips.
“Will.”
“I sent Dean to back get it while I distracted you.”
“You spent all that money on me?”
“Not all of it,” he admitted. “Everyone pitched in what they could. So, it’s not just from me.”
“Well, I love it all the same.”
“Good,” he said. “I like seeing you smile.”
Despite myself, I was beginning to like this birthday business.
“You know how hard it’s been trying to hide it from you?”
“I don’t think it would have been that hard,” I said, sitting back into a seat.
“What makes you say that?”
“I’ve been otherwise engaged.” I wigged my eyebrows at him as he slid in the seat next to mine.
I leant my back against the window and he pulled my legs over his lap, running his hand along my inner thigh, sending sparks into all the right places.
“We won’t always be on tour together,” I said, letting my legs fall open slightly, so he could move higher.
“No, but we knew that before this started.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I like it.”
His fingers crept underneath the hem of my shorts. “Lets just enjoy these last few days before we have to go back to reality.”
“Fine with me,” I whispered as he pressed higher. “But, it’s still a G rated bus.”
Without warning, he slipped a finger inside me, and I had to stifle a gasp. “Happy Birthday, Zoe.”
When I was a kid, my parents would always take me on long drives across the countryside, to the beach, to random little towns on all these adventures. I loved to look out the window and see everything we passed. The forests of gum trees and ferns, rolling hills and paddocks full of cattle and that first glimpse of the ocean as we rolled over the hill. For most of our trips on the bus between tour stops, I’d done the same. It gave me a sense of where we were and where we were going. I didn’t like the feeling of being lost on the highway, so my eyes were always on the road.
But, today, my eyes were on Will as he lounged on the seats across the aisle from mine, his back against the window, eyes closed. He looked peaceful, even though the way he slept seemed awkward and it gave me a chance to study him without him knowing it.
My back was against the window, hoodie over my head, sunglasses on, knees up and against the back of the seat. If he opened his eyes now, it would look as if I were sleeping, too. My thoughts wandered to the most obvious place, every night we’d had consuming sex. It had been impossible not to sleep together without it resulting in wandering hands and just thinking about it made me wet. Feeling him inside me, his touch all over me, the wicked things he said. He had such a dirty mouth on him, I was surprised at how turned on it made me feel. The way he spoke about the things he wanted to do to me awoke a beast I never thought I’d had inside me. And that Zoe was insatiable.
I found myself thinking about Melbourne. When we got back I couldn’t wait to show him where I lived. I wanted to see his place as well. I wanted to see what CDs he had in his collection, if he had any books. The pictures he hung on the wall. I wanted to know everything.
Abruptly, he jerked awake, pulling me out of my daydream. He looked disoriented for a moment and I realized his phone must have vibrated in his pocket. Leaning my head against the back of the seat, I watched him as he pulled it out and looked at the screen.
He looked surprised and then annoyed. I didn’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that and I instantly wondered who it was that had texted him. Something I never thought I’d be was a snoopy girlfriend, jealous of everything and everyone, but the emotion that spiked through me at that moment felt eerily similar.
Will closed his eyes and sighed before typing in a reply. It was impossible to read his expression. I had no idea what he was thinking and I wanted to ask, but I also didn’t want to be that girl. I had to learn to trust again.
His phone seemed to vibrate again and he looked at the screen, seemingly conflicted. Who
was texting him?
When he looked over to me, I was glad I was wearing my sunnies and he couldn’t tell if I was looking at him or not. I didn’t give myself away, watching his reaction. He frowned, hunching his shoulders forward and looked back at his phone before typing in something.
I’d never been one to be so jealous before. Not like this. Except for the other night when he’d brushed off that girl, I hadn’t worried that there might be someone else. An ex-girlfriend. Someone he might have been seeing before the tour. I’d been so wrapped up in my own issues, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind.
What if he was getting texts from another woman?
Worry settled in my stomach, making me feel sick and the awkward Zoe was back, just like that. Will had shown me time and time again that I had nothing to worry about, but in reality things might be different.
An hour or so later, when we got out to stretch our legs at a roadhouse, Will seemed distant. Distracted. He’d been so open with me until now, it was unnerving.
“You okay?” I asked, standing by him.
Her ran a hand over his face, scratching the stubble on his chin. “Yeah. It’s just…these long bus trips get to me.”
It sounded like an excuse, a cover up, but I let it slide. Today was my birthday and for the first time in a long time, I intended to enjoy it, bus or no bus.
With a frown, I slid an arm around his waist, but he shrugged and began to walk away, my arm dropping back to my side. And just like that, I’d been brushed aside. Frozen to the spot, I watched him walk back towards the bus, his lack of affection leaving me empty. It was such a turn around from that morning, it seemed to confirm the thoughts that plagued me.
Being on tour was another world. We all had a reality to go back to, and what if Will’s was to another woman? He’d been strung out the first few weeks. He’d suddenly become withdrawn after getting those texts. What if it was his reality calling? If all that was true, then what did that make me?
A sucker for falling for it for one, but it also made me the other woman. The things I felt for Will were real, I had no doubt about it, and that’s what made the uncertainty hurt more than anything. Maybe I was just hurting myself by jumping to conclusions? After all, he went to all that trouble getting me that guitar.
But, the little voice at the back of my mind wouldn’t quit. What if it had all been a lie? What if I was the bit on the side?
And this was why I didn’t like birthdays.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Will
It had been a long drive back to Melbourne after the roadhouse. As we stood on the road at the side of the bus, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted. We were home, but home came with a whole new set of problems. Ones I wanted to leave Zoe out of.
Our gear was being delivered to the venue so that just left us and our bags to go home with. I grabbed mine and sidled up to Zoe and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. She was going to catch a lift with Dee, since they lived in St Kilda and I lived in Northcote on the other side of the city.
“See you tomorrow,” I murmured and high tailed it towards a waiting taxi with Pete, my bag in my hand.
As the taxi drove off, Pete gave me a look.
He scowled at me. “What the fuck was that?”
“I got some texts from Mish.” The ex-girlfriend from hell. The one who’d fucked up my life.
“Shit. What does she want?”
“She says she misses me. That she wants to make it up.” I sighed, running a hand over my face.
“Will. Seriously?”
I scowled. “No. I want Zoe. I will always want Zoe.”
“Have you told her about Mish?”
“No.”
“Dude, shit like this will come back and bite you on the ass. You should tell Zoe. Did you see the look on her face just now?”
I shook my head, looking at my hands. I didn’t trust myself to look at her. What if the first thing she did was dump my pathetic ass? I mean, were things different now that we were finishing up the tour? Did she want to end it anyway? I was suddenly full of these doubts, Mish or no Mish.
“Pete, you know how Mish is. When she wants something, she’ll screw over everyone to get it. If she got her claws into Zoe…”
I thought about the texts she’d sent.
Hey babe. I’m back in Melbs. I miss you. We need to talk. xx
I’d texted back: Not a good idea.
I miss you. This whole thing was a mistake. Let me make it up to you.
I hadn’t heard from her in almost a year and now she wanted to worm her way back into my life? She must be desperate for some attention if she was texting me.
“Will, you know she might do that anyway.”
“I know. I have to go see her…”
“No way,” Pete interrupted me. “Tell her to go fuck herself.”
“I have to tell her to back off. If she could see how it is with me and Zoe now, she’ll leave me alone.”
“Or she’ll see it as a challenge. She was always up for it, remember?”
“How could I forget?” I groaned.
“Dude, she ruined your life. Don’t even think about going back there in any capacity. I’d leave her hanging. Text her back a very big go fuck yourself.”
“Yeah, if I did that, she’d just turn up at the gig tomorrow and when she saw me with Zoe the shit would hit the fan.”
Pete let out a long sigh and shrugged. “Do what you want, Will. You know how I feel about it.”
I knew it was probably stupid, but I saw no other way that wasn’t. I got out my phone and texted her to meet me at a bar down on Brunswick Street in a couple of hours. This had to end before it got any worse.
I sat in a corner table at a small bar at the top end of Brunswick Street, nursing a beer. I was nervous about seeing Mish again. When we’d been together I thought I’d loved her. I mean, we’d been going out three years by that point. No one could spend that amount of time with another person and not think it was anything else.
Mish’d worked as a model from the age of eighteen. Doing photo shoots, catwalk, that kind of thing. All fashion magazine stuff, no catalogues for her. She wanted to make it big and she did. A few times she’d gone overseas to work and of course I’d been supportive as any good boyfriend would’ve been. When she got cast to open a big show at Sydney Fashion Week, I went to surprise her. Took a break from recording and all so I could go and be there for her big moment.
Too bad her big moment included fucking male models behind my back.
In my twenty-seven years I’d never seen something as fucked up as another man fucking my girlfriend. To say I was destroyed was too soft a word. So tonight, when I did finally lay eyes on her, I wasn’t expecting the blind anger I felt now. Nothing was left of the love I’d once felt. It was gone.
She hadn’t changed much. She was as tall as I was, six one, willowy and perfect almond skin. Her chestnut hair had been cropped short and she looked like a model. It was her business to look beautiful and as she came toward me with a smile on her face, every guy in the room watched her. I swear she knew it and thrived. She was the kind of person who made friends with ugly people so she could look good in a crowd.
“Will,” she cried, putting her bag on the seat across from mine. “I’m so glad you wanted to meet me.”
When she leaned down to kiss me on the cheek, I angled back sharply so she couldn’t.
“I know you’re upset with me,” she sighed dramatically and sat down.
I stared at her. “Upset isn’t the word I would use.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I wanted to see you because I miss you. Life hasn’t been the same without you around.”
“No, it hasn’t,” I said shaking my head, already exasperated with her over-the-top groveling. I mean, the way she was putting it was that I would be a fool if I didn’t come back to her. Not the other way around.
“I’m just going to come out and say it, Will. I can see you’re angry with me. I want to try
again.”
I shook my head and scoffed. This was exactly what I knew she would say. “You should’ve thought about that before you went off and fucked all those other guys.”
Her eyes widened with shock. What, did she think she could just come back and think I was a sure bet?
“You can’t come back after all this time and try and make things better,” I went on. “It’s not going to happen.”
“Why not?” she crooned. “We were good together.” I felt her stilettoed foot climb up the inside of my leg and I jerked away. She really was a piece of work.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Mish, relationships are about trust. How could I trust you after the shit you pulled?”
“Exactly,” she said. “That’s why I want to work on it. I know I did some bad things, but I’ve learnt from my mistakes. My biggest one was letting you go.”
I scowled. I didn’t care about her. I didn’t want her. I wanted Zoe.
“I don’t care,” I cried. “I’m with someone else.”
“You’re seeing someone?” she asked like it was the stupidest thing she’d heard. How I never saw how vapid she was when we were together was beyond me.
“Yes and I’m happy. You need to give up and move on. There’s someone out there for you and it’s not me.”
Her eyes began to mist with tears and I couldn’t have cared less. Picking up her bag from the seat next to her, Mish stood abruptly and walked away without a word. I heard the door slam behind me and I didn’t bother looking after her. She had always been dramatic and our two-minute conversation had been just that. She’d laid it on thick. All I could do was put my head in my hands and hope that I’d done enough to deter her from showing up again.
Instantly, my thoughts went to Zoe. It was her fucking birthday and I was sitting here arguing with my ex-girlfriend. I should be with her. I shouldn’t have left the way I did this arvo. Fuck Mish and fuck her meddling. This was exactly what she wanted.
I felt my skin prickle and my heart twist. I needed Zoe. I needed her around me.
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3) Page 97