Lucy, Holly, and I went to lunch together.
“Where have you been lately?” Lucy complained.
“Me? I’ve been right here,” I said.
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”
“I know. I’ve been busy with work stuff. I actually spent the better part of my weekend putting together a marketing plan.”
“Is that why you didn’t text me back?” Holly asked.
Shit. I had been neglecting my friends since I had been spending so much time with Nick. I knew it, but it was hard lying to them, too. I wanted to talk all about how great things were between us, but I couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry, Holly. I was in the zone when I got your text, and I just totally forgot to respond when I was done working.”
“We’re worried about you.” The concern was evident in Lucy’s eyes.
“Everything is fine. No need to worry.”
“You seem fine. But this is the first time we have had lunch with you in two weeks. We haven’t gone out together since New Year’s Eve. Where have you been?” Lucy asked. “Is it the new guy?”
“What new guy?” Holly asked.
“She said she had a new guy, but she wouldn’t tell me about him.”
Shit again. Now Holly knew, and it wouldn’t be long before the two of them put it together. “I’ve just been really busy. I’ve been hanging with Travis a lot, and my sister’s due any day, so I’ve been spending time with my family.”
“You’re lying,” Lucy said.
“No I’m not.”
“You always tuck your hair behind your ear when you’re lying.”
And my hair was definitely tucked. “Alright. It’s a new guy. But my lips are sealed.”
Just then our food arrived, so I was saved when the subject changed to shop talk about our most recent projects and the launch party for Brick City the following Monday night. We gossiped about what we would wear and how much fun we were going to have. While I was excited for the party, I was also a little concerned about how to handle Nick at that party. I knew he would go; he oversaw the entire rebranding, but how would I possibly maintain my cool and not act like a puppy in love around him? These types of parties usually included dancing, and if I saw him dance with anyone besides me, I didn’t know how I would react. I didn’t think it would be pretty, though. I wanted him all to myself.
When we returned to the office, I had planned to pop my head in Nick’s office just because I needed to see him, needed to feel his gaze on me, but his door was shut. I texted him, Where are you? And then I got back to work.
About an hour later, I got a text back: Just leaving Cabrillo’s. Next, meetings with Davidson all afternoon.
I frowned, hoping everything went okay with Cabrillo. I replied, Hope everything is ok.
It’s fine. I’ll come by after work.
Yes please. Miss you.
Miss you too. Get back to work. :)
After work on Monday, I waited anxiously for Nick to knock on my door. It sucked that I hadn’t seen him at work all day, and after spending the entire weekend with him, I was desperate to see him. Our relationship was new and intense, and I needed to kiss him, to hold his body against mine, to feel his warm skin. I was completely addicted to the way he made me feel.
I paced my apartment, wearing a pattern in the carpet. Then I flipped absentmindedly through the channels on my television, trying to find something – anything – to keep my mind occupied while I waited, and the wait felt interminable. I wasn’t sure how I was going to survive it. Finally I heard my buzzer a little after six o’clock. I clicked the button and waited by the door, and Nick knocked a minute later. I opened the door to him, and there he stood in his suit, fresh from work, sexy as ever.
His gaze met mine as I held the door open for him, his eyes clouded and dark and stormy. He came into my apartment and took off his suit jacket, tossing it over a chair haphazardly at my kitchen table, his eyes hot and never leaving mine. Then he pulled at his tie, loosening it, and he charged toward me with urgency. Suddenly I was in his arms as he yanked my body to his, and I felt his need and longing as he crushed his lips to mine, the desperation evident in his kiss. He felt it, too, that torture of being apart from each other. It was one of those fast-paced, hot, aggressive kisses, and I gave back with everything I had in me.
“Fuck, I missed you today,” he said hoarsely, his mouth never leaving mine. I moaned into him as his hands pressed my back into him.
His mouth wandered down my neck. “I missed you, too,” I half-whispered, half-moaned, my own voice sounding strange to me.
“I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he said, kissing me again with urgency.
“Do what?” I asked breathlessly.
“Pretend. I can’t pretend anymore.”
“Me neither.”
He pulled back from me, both of us breathless. He still held his arms around me. “I want to take you out to dinner, to hold your hand. Like we did in Payson, but here. I hate feeling like we have to hide what we have when all I want to do is kiss you every time I see you at work.”
“Is that why you stayed away today?” I asked.
“Partly,” he admitted. He kissed me once on the lips, and then he let go of me as he pulled off his tie completely and sat at my table. I sat next to him, and he reached for my hand as he sighed. “I was at Cabrillo’s for a long time. He was understandably pissed, but I went through the entire plan with him, and he was very happy with it.”
“Good.”
“He was a real dick at first, and after I took him through the plan and was sure he was satisfied, I accredited all of the work to you.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I did. It was all you, Julianne.”
“You helped.”
“Number crunching and logistically. Not with the creative side. And he couldn’t say enough good things about it.”
“That’s good.”
“He said, and I quote, ‘That woman may be scattered and disorganized, but she knows her way around a marketing plan.’” Nick grinned at me. The “scattered and disorganized” part hurt, but at least there was minimal damage. Again I wondered if I would have been reprimanded if I wasn’t sleeping with my boss. “And you know, he’s right. Not about being disorganized, but about knowing how to put together a good plan.”
“Thanks, Nick. That means a lot coming from you.” It did. I admired the work he did. “What else did you do today?”
“Well, when I got back from Cabrillo’s, I had about fifty emails to answer, I had a meeting with Malcolm about his project, I touched base with Holly and Jake on different things, I had four of my own projects to deal with, and then I met with Davidson and Josie and some other people up top, and they handed down several new projects. Davidson wants to talk to me some more tomorrow, and tomorrow I also have to figure out who is getting which assignment, so we’ll probably have an afternoon team meeting. This shitty economy is doing wonders for McMillan. People want fresh ideas to market their businesses, and we’re scoring new clients left and right.”
“Our company has a great reputation.”
“It does. But given the economy, I’m starting to wonder if it would be smarter to jump ship and open up my own company.”
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know. I’ve sort of always dreamed of owning my own company, but I know the risks involved and the benefits of working for someone else. I think at this point, it makes more sense to work for someone else than to take that risk. McMillan is a well-known company, and I know I could stay long enough to work my way up.”
“I don’t want you to leave our department.”
“I don’t want to leave, either. I love working with you. But if we were in different departments, we wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“Me, too.”
“What happened with Davidson today that’s got you thinking li
ke this?”
He lowered his gaze. “Nothing. I just hate hiding what we have.” He glanced back up to meet my eyes. “I’m falling for you, Julianne. And I want the whole world to know that you are mine.”
I leaned toward him, and he pulled me so that I was sitting on his lap. He cradled me in his arms, and I felt safe, protected, loved. He rested his chin on top of my head and murmured, “You know, no matter how shitty my day at work is, I love this. Seeing you erases all of the crap and makes everything good again.”
He lowered his head and tipped my chin up, finding tears shining in my eyes at his sentiment. One escaped out of the side of my eye, and he quickly kissed it away. And then his mouth found mine, and I could feel the desperation in his kiss. I knew how he felt about me, and I felt the same way about him. I was ready for us to move beyond this phase where we had to hide, and his words tonight told me that he was ready for that, too. But how did we do that without losing our jobs?
Our kiss was interrupted with the buzzing of his cell phone. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Davidson said he would call me tonight with word on a new project. Can you give me five minutes?”
I nodded and moved to stand, but he pulled me back down. I rested my head on his chest.
“Tom, hello.” I listened to his heart beating against my cheek while he talked to Davidson. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying; it wasn’t my business, and besides, he would clue me in if there was anything I needed to know. The call only lasted a few minutes, and he held me tightly against him the whole time. He kissed my forehead when he was off the phone and sighed. “I have some work I need to do at home,” he said.
“Okay,” I said, and then I climbed off of his lap.
He stood, pulling me into his arms, my body flush against his. “Come with me? I can’t even fathom sleeping apart from you again tonight.”
His words, combined with the heat in his eyes, was overwhelming. How could I ever say no to this man? “Let me just get my stuff together and I’ll meet you at your place.”
“Have you eaten?” he asked. I shook my head. “I’ll pick something up.”
He kissed me, long and slow, and then he left. I quickly put together an overnight bag. Sleeping at Nick’s meant an earlier than usual morning since it was a thirty minute drive with no traffic to work from Nick’s place, so I packed my clothes for work for the next morning so that I wouldn’t even need to stop home.
I arrived at his place about an hour later. I rang the bell, and Eric answered.
“Julianne, it’s great to see you again,” Eric said, smiling. He took my bag from me and set it down by the stairs. “Nick’s just in the kitchen getting your dinner set out.”
“Great. I’m starved.”
Just then, another good looking man started down the stairs toward us. I presumed it was Nick’s brother, Josh. They shared similar features; Josh had the same sharp jaw line, hazel eyes, and dark hair. They even had the same nose. But that’s where the similarities ended. Josh was bulkier than Nick. He was good looking, but nowhere near as sexy as his brother.
Nick appeared in the doorway from the kitchen. “Julianne,” he smiled broadly at me, and he walked to me and took me in his arms, planting a firm kiss on my lips. I smelled him as soon as he came near, and the familiar scent was enough to drive my senses wild.
Nick pulled back and slung his arm around my shoulders. “I’d like to introduce you to my brother, Josh. Josh, this is Julianne,” he said when Josh made his way to the foot of the stairs.
“Nice to meet you, Josh,” I said, shaking his hand.
“You, too. I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Good things, I hope.”
“You seem to be making my brother a happy man. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing.”
I smiled, and I could be mistaken, but I swear Nick blushed. He was never, ever unruffled, and it was adorable.
“Ready to eat?” Nick asked. I nodded, and he led me to his kitchen, where the table was set with food he had picked up on his way home. I spotted a delicious looking salad with chicken, walnuts, and cranberries.
Eric and Josh headed to the family room, where a basketball game blared from the television, and intermittently I heard them either cheering or yelling.
We dug into our food, famished from a hard day’s work and an even harder time being apart, glad to be back together again. Nick poured me a glass of white wine, and we chatted about the day’s events as he filled me in on more details from his meeting with Cabrillo. He was pretty quiet about his meetings with Davidson, though.
After dinner, Nick led me up to his bedroom. This was usually the time when he made love to me, but instead, he led me into his closet. His closet? I couldn’t help but wonder why he took me in there.
He pointed to a bar that was empty. “This used to have my clothes on it. But you’ve been spending so much time here, I wanted to carve out a space that’s yours – a place to keep some of your things. I know it’s early in our relationship, but I want you to feel at home here.”
“That’s for me?” I wasn’t expecting this. I knew that we were serious about each other, and it was just some space in his closet, but to me, this was one of those huge actions that spoke so much louder than words.
He nodded. “It’s for you. We’ve been spending most of our weekends together here anyway. I know it’s a pain in the ass to get to work in the mornings from here, but maybe if you have some things that you keep here, it would make it easier for you.”
I flung my arms around his neck. “Thank you, Nick,” I murmured. “This is really, really sweet of you.”
He responded by kissing my neck hungrily, and a few minutes of passionate kissing later, he was hovering over me, seconds from being inside of me. I gazed up into his eyes, finding his eyes calmer and more relaxed than when he had first entered my apartment only a couple of hours earlier. This man was complex and interesting and funny and sexy, and he was all mine. My only wish was that I could share that fact with everyone in the world.
Chapter Eleven
The week passed quickly between the new projects Nick handed out to our team and my steamy nights with my boss. I reciprocated Nick’s closet offer by clearing a space in my own closet, and Nick filled it with some of his suits. I loved just going into my closet when I got home from work, right before he arrived, and looking at his suits in my closet. I loved knowing that there was a little piece of him in my home. And sometimes I breathed in his clothes, feeling his warmth in the familiar scent that was all man and all him. I was giddy with love for this man, and even though we hadn’t yet said those three enormous words aloud, we were both in that place. I had known him for a year before we had gotten together, and in that span of time, I had already fallen for him. Now that I knew him as intimately as I did, those feelings had only deepened. It was just so different with him. Every other relationship I had ever been in seemed pale in comparison to what Nick and I were forming.
Soon another weekend was upon us. My parents informed me that the cabin was free for the weekend, so we decided to head up to Payson again.
The drive up there Friday night after work was quiet. Nick seemed distracted, and I asked if he wanted me to read from the Questions book, but he merely grunted in reply. I studied his profile as he drove, and I noticed lines etched around his eyes. He looked drained and worn, more exhausted than I had ever seen him. Something was up with him; something was eating away at him, and it marked the first time in our relationship that he didn’t immediately share with me whatever was on his mind. I hoped that with a little prodding, he would open up.
“What’s wrong, Nick?” I asked quietly.
“Sorry. I know I’m distracted. I just have a big work issue on my mind. I’ll snap out of it, I promise.”
I understood completely, because I knew how busy we both had been at work that week. I had received three new projects, so I couldn’t imagine his work load with sorting projects and helping keep everyone on top
of their work while still having additional work handed down from the top. “It’s okay, baby. I know work’s been busy. Do you want to talk about it?”
He shook his head. I had hoped that it was something he could talk to me about, but if he didn’t want to go there, I couldn’t force him.
And he didn’t make good on his promise that he would snap out of it, either. I distracted myself with the radio, but it wasn’t like the last time we drove up. Nick clearly had something big on his mind, and he wasn’t interested in talking about it; but whatever it was, it was throwing off everything between us.
When we arrived at the cabin a little after 8:30, I poured us each a glass of wine, hoping that it would loosen him up enough to either talk to me or to make love to me. I felt desperate for his touch, but whatever was distracting his thoughts was taking over our weekend. We went up to the bedroom and sipped our wine in bed, watching a movie on HBO. But the wine had the opposite effect that I had been hoping for, and when the movie was over, Nick was asleep next to me.
I woke up first the next morning, and I started a fire in the fireplace after I put on the coffee. I wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and sat at the kitchen table, sipping my coffee and staring out into the beautiful snowy, woodsy scene behind the house. The snow glinted in the sunlight on the Ponderosa Pines, and I saw two deer leaping through the trees. I smiled at the playfulness of nature right outside my window, and I felt a wave of optimism that Nick would wake up in a better mood. Surely this romantic setting would help him snap out of his mood.
But it didn’t. And when he finally came down the stairs two hours after I had gotten up, his mood was even worse than the night before. I had never seen him like this.
“Good morning,” I said as cheerfully as I could muster, despite feeling my own good mood destroyed by his gloom.
“Morning,” he muttered. He walked up behind me, but he didn’t put his hands on my shoulders like he had the time before when we had been there. I felt cold from his lack of touch, and an involuntary shiver racked my body. I stared up at him as he stared out the window, refusing to meet my eyes. The lines around his eyes had deepened despite his many hours of sleep the night before, and he still looked exhausted. Sexy, still – always sexy; but totally worn out. “I have bad news.”
What to Read After FSOG: The Gemstone Collection (WTRAFSOG Book 3) Page 136