“And now I see the difference, and where the problem really lies. I’m the problem. Not because of a screwed-up sperm count, but because of a screwed-up attitude. And you know what? Maybe I can’t do anything about one thing, but I can damned sure do something about the other.”
“What are you saying?”
“What’s the state going to do about Corey?”
“She’s going to be put up for adoption.”
“Are you willing?”
She started toward him. “We can’t make a decision this way. We can’t take her just because you want to make me happy.”
“You?” He hit his chest again. “Since when are we talking about you?”
She stood absolutely still. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying what you think I’m saying. We’re the closest things to real parents that kid’s ever had. I think we should get one step closer.”
“Keep her?”
“Things happen for a reason. There’s a world of kids out there who need what you and I can give, and one of them is living under our roof. She needs us. And we need children. Nothing could be simpler.”
“Oh, God, it’s not simple!”
He took two steps and gathered her close. “It’s as simple as a call to Dinah.”
“I told Dinah you’d never consider adoption! I told her today.”
“Did you? I’ll tell her differently tomorrow. She’ll understand.”
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think.”
“I’ll tell you what to think. I love you. And there’s a wretched, bratty little hellion down the hall...”
She lifted her face to his. “What?”
“I guess I want her to be my daughter.”
She looked in his eyes and saw it was true. “You really do?”
“Yeah. I want to be her father. Her real father. So, you see, it’s simple, after all.”
“Joe...”
She felt his lips on hers, his hands flowing over her body. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She was dizzy with love. Through all Joe’s torment she had never stopped loving him, but she loved this man who had emerged from the torment more.
“You’re sure?” she whispered.
“I’ve never been surer of anything.”
His hands were warm on her skin, strong, sure hands that skimmed over her as if he were relearning the contours and textures of her body. He was a man restaking a claim, a man who had just discovered that treasure, not the treasure first sought but one as cherished, as valuable, had always waited just under the surface.
He inched her shirt over her head and removed the rest of her clothes with the same unhurried exploration. Her breath caught as he lifted her and carried her to the bed. She lay quietly when he moved away to undress. Silvery moonlight lapped at the contours of his body. He was every woman’s most dangerously exciting dream, the male to her female, the god to her goddess.
When he stood before her proudly, undeniably aroused, she opened her arms to him. He came to her without flourish or hesitation. The bed sagged and he was beside her, the muscled length of one leg stretched over hers, the breadth of his hard chest pressing against the soft curves of hers.
He smiled the smile that had never failed to excite her, and she saw the confidence of old in his dark eyes. “We’re going to conceive our first child tonight, Sam.”
Tears rose in her eyes. Tears of gratitude. She was filled with more love than she had ever known, love for this man who had come through so much and emerged stronger and somehow better.
“And I don’t think she’ll be our last,” he whispered.
“Ours,” she said. “In every way.”
“In every way that matters.” He touched his lips to hers, as if to seal his words. She trembled with pleasure and embraced him. The kiss deepened and became another until she could feel only desire. His hands wandered, stroking the most sensitive places of her body. He had always been a considerate lover; now there was no give-and-take, only mutual need and answering passion, pleasure that scorched them both.
She gasped when he entered and filled her completely. She was united with him in a way that she had never been before. In that moment Joe was part of her, and she could feel his strength and resolve. He began to move, sealing the commitment they had made so long ago. She looked into his eyes and this time she saw only love. She knew then that this love they shared, the love they were expressing so perfectly, would guide them safely down the path of parenthood and into the future.
As they found joy in each other’s arms, she knew that a child had truly been conceived that night. A child of their hearts and of their love for each other.
There had never been a sweeter moment in her life.
* * *
COREY SAW SHADOWS dancing on the ceiling. Not the ones she had grown accustomed to. These were ghostly fingers, the very first things she saw when she opened her eyes after the nightmare. For a moment she wasn’t even sure she was still in her room at Miss Sam’s. Then, with a spurt of courage, she looked around and saw that she was, but the room was darker than usual.
She managed to sit up, even though she was scared to death that the shadow fingers would grab her. She saw that only one of her night-lights was burning, and most of the light was blocked by a chair.
She wanted to stand, to move the chair so that the light would shine brighter, but she was too scared. Tears welled as she thought about the dream. She had been chasing her father, a tall man with black hair, just like Mr. Joe. She had just about reached him when he disappeared. And then, when she had looked around to find Miss Sam and Mr. Joe, she saw that they weren’t there. They hadn’t been in her dream at all. She was alone.
Tears flowed down her cheeks. Miss Sam didn’t think Corey had heard her talking to Miss Ryan, but she had. She hadn’t heard it all, but she had heard Miss Ryan say that her father didn’t want her. Then Miss Sam had said that Mr. Joe would never adopt. She didn’t understand exactly what all that meant, but she was more afraid than she had ever been.
She had known Mr. Joe didn’t want her. She had wrecked his car, burned down his fort. Then, because she didn’t want to wait any longer to find out if he was going to send her away, she had broken his mandolin. At least, she thought that’s why she had done it. It was all a confusion inside her. Sometimes she did things she didn’t understand.
She did know that she’d tried real hard to make Miss Sam love her best. When Miss Sam and Mr. Joe fought, she had even thought that maybe it had worked. But they hadn’t fought in a long time now. Not since the night she had broken the mandolin. They kissed sometimes when they thought she wasn’t looking. And Mr. Joe held Miss Sam’s hand in a way that made Corey’s own hand feel real empty.
Sometimes she didn’t think Miss Sam loved her at all. Not anymore. And now she was sure she wouldn’t be staying with Miss Sam. She just didn’t know where she would be going.
She wondered if Miss Ryan was wrong. Maybe her father would want her if he just met her. Maybe he’d love her right away and keep her with him.
She remembered his name. Her mama had said it over and over, like it was something bad. And he had to live somewheres in South Carolina, because that’s where her mama had died.
The shadows moved again, and terror washed over her. All at once she was too terrified to think about anything except getting out of the room. She managed to get to the door and open it. Miss Sam’s door was closed, but Corey thought she heard noises. She crept along the hallway until she stood just outside their room.
She heard Mr. Joe laugh, and Miss Sam laugh, too. She could hear the low murmur of their voices, although she couldn’t understand what they were saying. They sounded happy, like people always sounded when they were telling jokes or secrets. They knew Corey was leaving, but
they were still happy.
She wanted to knock on the door, to let Miss Sam hug her, maybe even to sleep on the floor beside their bed. But she heard Miss Sam laugh again. It was the loneliest sound she had ever heard.
She crept back down the hallway. Inside her room the shadows didn’t look as scary anymore. There were some things scarier than shadows. She slid between her covers and pulled them to her chin. Then she lay in the darkness and said her father’s name over and over again.
Chapter Fifteen
“THIS BACKPACK WEIGHS a ton.” Joe hefted Corey’s school pack and pretended to wince.
“Gimme.”
He relinquished it. “Hey, don’t be such a grouch. Miss Sam tells me you’ve only got half a day of school, then you’re going on a field trip to the candy-cane factory.”
She looked away. As she’d gotten ready for school that morning she had hardly said a word.
Joe was surprised, but he didn’t have time to explore her bad mood. He and Sam had decided to place their call to Dinah Ryan before they talked to Corey. They wanted to be sure that nothing was going to go wrong with their plans to adopt her before they told the little girl that she was going to be their daughter. He didn’t know how she would react to the news—an edited version—about her father, but he thought that when she’d had time to adjust, she would be happy she was staying with them.
“Hey, Brown Eyes,” he said. “It’s going to be a good day. Let’s have a smile.”
“Don’t you have to be off to school, Joe?” Sam asked as she came into the hallway.
“Yes, Mommy,” he said, with a very private wink.
She blushed. “Then get going.”
“Okay, but I’m planning to be home early tonight.”
“I’ll make something special for dinner.”
“Do that. Fried chicken’s good.”
“Would you like that, Corey?” Sam asked.
Corey shrugged.
Joe shrugged, too, then he leaned over to kiss Sam. He ruffled Corey’s hair, but she moved away before he could do any affectionate damage.
“We’ll be waiting for you,” Sam said meaningfully.
“I’m looking forward to coming home.”
Joe disappeared out the door and Sam went upstairs to get her purse. When she came back down Corey wasn’t in the hallway anymore. “Corey?”
“Coming.”
She wondered what Corey had been doing in the kitchen, but she didn’t give it much thought. The second graders had been instructed to bring a lunch to school, since there was going to be an afternoon field trip. The children were going to eat on the bus. She imagined that Corey was just adding an apple or banana to her bag.
“All ready?” she asked when Corey joined her.
Corey looked around, staring for a moment at the tree. “Guess so.”
“Good, I’m afraid we’re running late.” Sam shepherded her to the car, and once at the school, she sent her off to her classroom.
The morning passed swiftly, despite the fact that Sam watched the clock continually. Joe had wanted to make the call to Dinah Ryan himself. She imagined their conversation a hundred times, until by noon, when she heard the clatter of second grade feet in the hallway, she could hardly wait to talk to him.
Through the windows of her classroom she glimpsed the second graders boarding their bus. She wished she was going with them. She would have loved to share the field trip with Corey, but she could content herself with hearing an account of it that evening.
It promised to be a very special evening.
As soon as her own students made their way into the lunchroom she slipped into the office to call Joe, but his news was disappointing. Dinah was in meetings all day. He had left a message requesting she return his call, but so far she hadn’t.
The rest of the day dragged. By the time the bus with the second graders returned, Sam felt as if she had lived two lifetimes. When the final bell rang she assisted the last of her students into their bulky coats and mittens and sent them on their way. While she waited for Corey to join her she straightened up her classroom, placing items in drawers and turning chairs over on tables.
She began to get concerned when there was nothing left to do. By this time Corey had usually arrived. She wondered if the little girl had gotten into trouble and been kept after class. She slipped on her own coat and gloves and turned off the light. Then she walked down the hall to Carol Simpson’s classroom.
The room was dark and Carol was gone.
She checked with the teacher in the room next door to Carol’s. Carol had left earlier than usual because she was having company for dinner.
No one in the main office had seen Corey that afternoon. Sam began to systematically check all the classrooms. Polly was just turning off her light when Sam got to her room.
“I can’t find Corey,” Sam said. “She’s not with Mary Nell, is she?”
“No, Mary Nell’s at home with the flu. Remember?”
Sam had forgotten. “I don’t understand. She always comes to my room after school and we go home together. She’s not in her own classroom. Where could she be?”
“I’ll help you look. Have you checked the west wing?”
Sam shook her head. Polly started in that direction as Sam finished the east wing and the playground. They met in the hallway where one wing joined the other. “No sign of her,” Polly said. “Did she go on the field trip?”
“Sure. I mean, I think so. She had her lunch and her permission slip. Why wouldn’t she have gone? You don’t suppose they left her there, do you?”
“Anything’s possible.”
“I’m going to check with the office again.”
“I think you oughta call Joe.”
“I’ll call from the office. Thanks for your help, but I know you want to go home, Polly. You need to check on Mary Nell.”
“Harlan’s there. I’ll just give him a call. I’m not leavin’ till that little girl’s been found.”
“I appreciate it, but—”
“You think I’m goin’ home and tell Mary Nell we went and lost her best friend?”
Sam squeezed Polly’s hand. She was beginning to feel the first flutters of panic.
The office had no list of who had gone on the field trip or who had returned. But they began to make calls. Sam phoned Joe as she waited. “I can’t get through to Dinah,” he said when he answered. “I’ve tried three times.”
“Corey’s missing.”
She hung up after he assured her that he’d be right over.
“Samantha?” The school secretary, a motherly woman who was usually unflappable, motioned her to the counter. There was no reassuring smile on her face. “I talked to one of the field trip chaperones. She doesn’t remember seeing Corey after they got off the bus at the factory. There were a lot of kids. It’s not time to panic yet....”
The principal arrived, fresh from a meeting at the administration building. By the time Joe got there, the office was filled with people trying to put together the events of the day.
Sam went into Joe’s arms in front of everyone. She didn’t care about image. She needed him. He stroked her hair and murmured encouragement.
Carol Simpson walked in the door. She was a pale woman, thin and high-strung. Now she looked on the edge of a breakdown. “This is my fault.” She began to cry. “I didn’t take roll on the bus. It’s unforgivable. I just didn’t do it. All the mothers had children assigned to be with them. I thought that would be enough.”
Sam felt Joe’s tension, but to his credit he didn’t criticize Carol. “Did you see Corey?”
Carol shook her head. “I don’t remember seeing her at all. I’m sorry. That doesn’t mean she wasn’t there.”
“And you didn’t notice that she wasn’
t at her seat when you got back to the classroom?”
“It was chaos. The kids were wound tight. I knew better than to try to get them to sit quietly. So in the short time we had left I let them do any activities they wanted. Some of them went to the reading corner, some to the computers—”
“Did you see Corey anywhere? Think.”
“I just don’t remember.”
“Did you help her with her coat?” Sam asked. “Any time today?”
Carol appeared to be grasping at memory straws. “No. I just don’t remember! I have twenty-six children in that class.”
“Twenty-five,” Joe said. “Because it looks as if you’ve lost one, Carol. Ours.”
* * *
COREY KNEW BETTER than to walk by the side of the road. There were lots of cars going real fast. Some of them slid funny when they rounded the bend she had just passed. The woods were wet, slick with rain like the road, but there was a path she could follow if she was real careful.
She had been walking a long time. She didn’t know how long, but she knew it was a lot more than an hour. It was starting to get dark. She had forgotten how it got dark so early now that it was almost Christmas. There hadn’t been much sun when she’d left the bus at the factory because it was such a cloudy day, but now there was hardly any.
Getting away from her teacher had been easy. She had gotten off the bus at the factory and told the mother she was supposed to walk with that she was going to walk with another mother. Then, when no one was looking, she had hidden behind a car in the parking lot and waited until everyone had gone inside. From there it had been easy to get back out to the road that the bus had come on.
On the trip she had paid attention to which way to go. She knew which way the bus had turned, so she had gone the other way. If one way led to Foxcove, the other had to go to South Carolina. That part had been easy.
Now she knew it was time to start looking for a place to spend the night. Her legs were tired and sore, and she was cold, even though she had brought an extra sweatshirt to wear over her school clothes and under her jacket. She had known it would be cold. She had stuffed the sweatshirt in her backpack that morning, along with six cans of tuna fish from Miss Sam’s cupboard.
The Trouble with Joe Page 21