She cried out, spasming, taking him with her. Shockwaves ripped through him, the pleasure so intense he didn’t know how he’d live through it and come out unchanged.
He went still as the waves washed out, still holding her with arms that shook. Suddenly unsure his legs would keep holding him, he wrapped her tight and all but fell onto the chair, Lucy straddling him.
They both gasped for breath. Adrian nuzzled his face against the curve where her neck met her shoulder, breathing in her scent. Lavender, maybe; he didn’t know. Something flowery but subtle, something Lucy.
“Did you miss me?” she murmured.
His laugh was far more genuine this time, if also as shaken as he felt. “Oh, yeah. You could say that.” He kissed the base of her throat, her pulse skittering against his lips. I love you. “I don’t want to be without you.”
“What?” She pulled back to study him with the startled, wary look of a doe surprised around a bend in the trail.
“Do you think—” he cleared his throat “—you could consider moving to Seattle?”
She was silent for a moment, her eyes searching his. “Are you asking me to live with you?” He could hear the constraint in her voice.
“No.” He hadn’t known what he was going to say until this moment. “It’s probably too soon, but... Ah, I’m asking you to marry me.”
“Marry you.”
It was killing him that he couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I won’t pressure you—”
“Why do you want to marry me?” she asked. “Is it because of...this?” Her glance down encompassed their bodies, half-dressed, flushed with the most intense sex of his life.
“No.” He twitched. “Yes, of course, but—” Say it. He swallowed, and stepped off into space. “I’ve never known anyone like you. Anyone with your heart.” He laid his fingertips right where it beat, beneath her breast. His voice became scratchy. “I love you.”
“Ohhh,” she breathed, and suddenly her eyes welled with tears. “I thought— I was afraid—” She pressed her lips together. “I never dreamed—”
“What? Say it.”
“That you’d want me forever. I thought this might be...casual for you.”
Throat tight, he said, “I’m not a casual man.”
“You love me.”
“Yeah.” He couldn’t take his eyes from her face, dominated by those huge blue eyes swelling with tears. “Is there any chance...?”
“Yes!” She laughed even as she cried. “Yes! I think I fell in love with you that first night here, when you looked so stunned.”
Grinning foolishly, Adrian devoured the sight of her face. “You’ll marry me? You’ll at least think about it? I don’t want to keep leaving you here. I didn’t—” He stopped, stunned by what he’d almost said.
Her head tilted like a curious bird’s. “You don’t...?”
He tugged her close, so she couldn’t see his face. To the top of her head, he finished the sentence. “I didn’t like myself without you around.” He paused. “I was angry all week.”
“Oh, Adrian!” she whispered, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing hard enough to steal the air from his lungs. “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love—”
He surged to his feet and said urgently, “Let’s go to bed.”
She laughed, even though her cheeks were still wet. “I can walk, you know.”
Adrian had the rueful realization that his pants were down around his knees. “I think you’ll have to,” he admitted, letting her slide down his body to the floor.
She really laughed when she realized what his dilemma was, but he didn’t mind. Her laughter never had a bite to it.
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled in pretend annoyance, and pulled up his pants. The glint of glass caught his eye, and he said, “Ah...I seem to have made a mess.”
Tying the belt on her robe, she peered at the dishes and shards of glass scattered on the floor. “I can clean it up in the morning. I don’t feel like it right now.” She grinned at him. “You can break my glasses anytime you want.”
That earned her another kiss, after which she turned out lights as he picked up his overnight bag at the foot of the stairs and went with her to her bedroom.
He detoured to the bathroom to clean up and brush his teeth, returning to her bedroom to find her already in bed, her robe laid over the back of an antique rocking chair.
She smiled at him. “I hope you brought more than one condom.”
He lifted a box from his bag. “A man who feels like I do never goes unprepared.”
There was that laugh again; no, that giggle, airy and young and heartstoppingly happy.
He had made her happy. Adrian didn’t think he’d ever made anyone happy before, outside of triumphs in the courtroom that satisfied his clients.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he had the disquieting realization that he didn’t want to make Lyle Galbreath happy. The son of a bitch deserved to fry, not to be bailed out to offend again all so that his company could make more money.
That’s my job.
He didn’t always have to like it.
Maybe tomorrow he’d talk to Lucy. See what she thought. But not now. Now, he was going to make love with her again.
With, he thought, the woman I’m going to marry.
He flung his pants over the same chair. Her wide-eyed gaze went to his erection. Then, she lifted the covers to welcome him into her bed.
* * *
LUCY AWAKENED IN the morning first to the realization that she wasn’t alone in bed; her head was pillowed on a warm, solid chest and she seemed to be draped over a man.
Adrian, she thought sleepily, contentedly. She had no immediate inclination to move. From his slow, deep breathing, it was obvious he was still sound asleep. Heaven knows they’d been up a good part of the night.
He loved her. He’d asked her to marry him.
Joy fizzed in her chest, but it wasn’t alone. Puzzled, Lucy tried to identify the funny mix of emotions that didn’t seem to quite blend.
She was happy. Of course she was. She wished—oh, that she was a little more sure of Adrian, that this wasn’t some kind of crazy impulse on his part that had to do with his having found his mother, and him being so certain that no one else in the world would have championed her the way Lucy had. It was as if he’d never met any nice people before. He was so utterly convinced she was special in a way she didn’t really think she was. Some people gave their lives to helping the homeless, or children orphaned by AIDS, or...abandoned animals, or any of a thousand important causes. All she’d done was be nice to one gentle, confused, lost woman. It had been practically an afterthought. Adrian was bound to realize some day that she was actually pretty average. And then what would happen?
Maybe she was the one who needed to gain confidence, she tried to tell herself. He loved her. Why was she so determined to question his feelings, and so quickly? Because she didn’t believe in her good fortune, that someone like him really wanted her?
But she didn’t think that was it. No matter what Adrian said, she’d never be able to think of herself as beautiful. But he had succeeded in erasing some of her certainty that she was the plain sister. Clearly, he didn’t see her that way, which pleased her immeasurably.
No, the faintly queasy feeling in her stomach, Lucy realized, had more to do with what all this meant. She’d be selling the café and looking for a job working for someone else, because she couldn’t imagine that she could afford or had the resources to start a restaurant in Seattle. And...she’d be moving to Seattle, of course. Adrian had said something about his condo, which meant no garden. Unless they could pick out a house together? A roommate from Lucy’s freshman year in college lived in Bellevue, but otherwise she’d be starting all over to create a circle of friends. The idea shou
ld be exciting. It was exciting! She’d been so sure all her life that she wanted to live somewhere that was more vibrant, more sophisticated. She had been getting awfully set in her ways. What was it she’d thought last week? That she was contented. Lucy wasn’t sure she liked that word. It sounded middle-aged and stodgy. Wasn’t it past time she struck out on a new path, not surrounded by people who’d known her forever? Just think, her family wouldn’t be butting in to every decision she made.
Only...what that really meant was that they wouldn’t be around at all. They’d keep having the Sunday dinners, but she and Adrian wouldn’t make it very often. It was too far to drive more than once a month, tops. And would he want to come at all?
She could still call Sam when she was aggrieved about something, but her sister wouldn’t know the people she was talking about. They wouldn’t ever have the chance to do a mystery weekend together at the bed-and-breakfast.
Of course, the wedding would be here in Middleton, so she’d be surrounded by family then. And maybe Adrian would take her someplace exotic for a honeymoon. If he could get away from work long enough.
But Lucy felt a peculiar, sinking sensation in her stomach when she imagined herself newly moved into his condominium, and him getting up early and leaving for work. Didn’t he say he worked sixty-hour weeks and sometimes more? She would start job hunting, of course, and...she didn’t know what else.
Oh, she was being a coward. Imagine, she told herself, him leaving for Seattle without her. Was that any better? Her heart squeezed, and she knew she couldn’t bear losing him. This would be an adventure, that’s all. She had never planned to stay in Middleton her entire life.
Satisfied, she closed her eyes and snuggled, if such a thing was possible, even closer. She wouldn’t wake Adrian up, but she could hardly wait until he did open his eyes. Although she was feeling a little sleepy again.
Lucy was drifting, almost asleep, when the jangle of the telephone ringing made her jerk.
She didn’t keep a phone by her bed. Her mother was much too fond of calling before Lucy liked to be up in the morning. She hurriedly slipped out of bed, but saw that Adrian was stirring anyway, blinking and gazing at her with the blank look of someone who hadn’t quite placed himself yet.
If it was her mother, she’d kill her. Especially if Mom was calling because someone had told her Adrian’s car was parked outside her daughter’s house all night.
But it wasn’t actually that early, Lucy saw, detouring around the broken glass and making it into the kitchen as the answering machine picked up. Lucy hadn’t gone to voice mail, because she liked being able to hear who was calling and then decide if she wanted to answer.
“Lucy, this is Dr. Slater. I’ve already left messages for Adrian on both his cell and home phones. His mother has regained consciousness. I’m hoping you’re home and able to make it into the hospital this morning to help orient her. She’s pretty confused.” He paused. “Give me a call.”
Lucy lunged for the phone. “Dr. Slater?”
He’d already hung up.
“Who was that?”
Lucy turned. Adrian was coming down the stairs wearing only jeans. Barefooted and bare-chested, he paused and stretched, his expression one of sleepy-eyed satisfaction.
Still grappling with the news, she said, “That was Dr. Slater. He says...he says your mother has woken up.”
Adrian froze a few steps from the bottom. His expression almost broke her heart. For just a moment, he was the little boy who’d come home from the summer in Nova Scotia to find his mommy wasn’t there. It was as if he’d heard a sound upstairs, in her bedroom, and hope tore at him even as he knew it probably wasn’t her.
He swallowed. “Then I suppose we’d better get dressed and go to the hospital.” A muscle in his cheek twitched. “That is...do you have time?”
His courteous question outraged her, but then she recognized it for what it really was: that same little boy bracing himself to do something terribly frightening on his own. Of course he wouldn’t plead, but, God, he hoped.
“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Of course I’m coming. Oh, let’s hurry!”
Still looking stunned, Adrian turned and started up the stairs ahead of her.
* * *
WHAT IF SHE didn’t know him? Never recognized that he was her son, the boy she hadn’t seen since she hugged him so fiercely as he was being sent away twenty-three years ago this June?
Adrian moved his shoulders impatiently. She was still his mother. His responsibility. Whether she knew him or not was unlikely to have any impact on the decisions he’d have to make on her behalf. She was mentally ill and unable to adequately care for herself. That was reality. He’d have to find some kind of supervised living situation no matter what.
The wrench in his chest told him he wasn’t as dispassionate as he wanted to be. To have found his mother after all these years and then have her fail to remember him... That would hurt.
He could hardly wait to call his grandmother, who was waiting for this moment. She’d taken the news that her long-lost daughter had turned up better than he had feared, saying, “I used to beg God to give me an answer. That was all I asked for. And now I have it.”
God, he thought, had chosen to give her more.
Adrian stole a glance at Lucy, who leaned forward as if she could make the car go faster. Thank God for Lucy. No matter what happened, it would be all right with her there. If his mother knew anyone, it would be Lucy.
He took the first spot he saw in the parking lot. Lucy got out as fast as he did, and was ahead of him when they reached the front doors despite his long strides.
“Oh, I can’t believe...” she said in a wondering voice, as they went up the elevator.
He laughed in astonishment. “You? You’ve always believed.”
“I think sometimes I pretend.”
“You?”
“Well...I am generally optimistic,” she admitted.
“Half-full.”
“Maybe.” No one was at the nurses’ station, and they were almost to his mother’s room. “But you know,” Lucy said, “whether you see a glass as half-full or half-empty, the exact same amount of water is in it.”
“I’m not so sure.” His tone was peculiar even to his own ears. They had turned into the hospital room, and Adrian’s stride checked. His heart was drumming.
He heard his own, childish, self-important voice. When I get home from school today, Mom and me are gonna plant tomatoes. She says she bets mine grow big as this globe!
How had Mom been both so sad and so optimistic?
Or had she, too, pretended?
Instead of hurrying ahead, Lucy had paused at his side, looking at him in silent inquiry. Seeing his momentary paralysis, she reached over and took his hand, her own so much smaller than his but strong.
He might have hurt her with his desperate grip, but she didn’t even wince. For an instant, he squeezed his eyes shut, then gusted out a breath.
“Ready or not,” he murmured, and pushed the curtain aside.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
JUST BEFORE THEY ROUNDED the curtain, Adrian heard Ben Slater talking. “Yes, you’re in the hospital. You got hit hard on the head and you’ve been unconscious.”
His tone was infinitely patient, but Adrian guessed he was repeating the information for the umpteenth time.
“My head?” His patient sounded querulous. “Why would they hit my head?”
Adrian’s heart lurched. The last time he heard his mother’s voice, she’d been waving frantically and calling after the car as it drove away, “Tell Maman to let you call me!”
“I will! I will!” he’d yelled back.
Then his father had snapped, “For God’s sake, roll up the window.”
The curtain swayed as his shoulder br
ushed it. Adrian came to a stop at the foot of the bed, distantly aware of Dr. Slater, of Lucy still holding tight to his hand, but they were in soft focus at the edges of his vision. What he saw was his mother.
The bed had been cranked up so that she sat nearly upright. She was still too pale, her hair white and unkempt, the IV attached to her hand. But her eyes, the blue only slightly faded from his memory, were open. With her face now animated, he knew her on a primal level that nearly brought him to his knees.
“Mom,” he said hoarsely. Mommy.
At the sound of his voice, she turned from the doctor. Her stare was at first uncomprehending, then bewildered; finally he saw alarm then distress that crumpled her face.
“I don’t know who you are. Should I?” she appealed to Dr. Slater.
He took her hand and spoke gently. “No. You haven’t seen your son in a very long time. He was a little boy the last time you saw him. Now he’s all grown up.”
“Do I...do I have a little boy?” she whispered, studying Adrian furtively.
Disappointment lodged in his throat, making it hard to answer. “Yes. Do you remember? Dad sent me to spend the summer in Nova Scotia with Maman and Grandpère. You...were gone when I came home. Dad never told me where you went.”
“There...there was a little boy.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I don’t know who he was.”
Dr. Slater stepped away, unnoticed. Lucy hung back, letting go of him.
Adrian forced himself to take the last couple of steps, to wrap his hands around the railing. “I’m that little boy. Adrian. I grew up.”
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