“No need to do anything until you’re ready,” Cruz said. “In the meantime, it’s a great place for Ben and his friends to play.”
Davey felt an unexpected warmth at the mention of Ben. His son. “And to think Nora wanted to wait to tell Ben.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m not sure she likes me.”
Cruz chuckled. “There’s a first.”
Davey flipped Cruz the bird, making his friend laugh.
“She’s just being cautious,” Cruz said. “She had a rough childhood.”
Davey stopped eating and cocked his head. “How do you know anything about her?”
“I had dinner with your mother last night. She filled me in.”
Davey put down his fork. Cruz had gone on a planned, intentional dinner with the woman who’d cruelly left him behind when he’d been a child. “What the hell?”
Cruz lifted a shoulder. “Don’t know many people around here anymore.”
Davey tried to tamp down his irritation. Cruz was a big boy who could have dinner with whomever he wanted. But after his mother had tossed him aside like yesterday’s trash, Davey couldn’t help but feel betrayed. It felt like his closest friend had stabbed him in the chest when he wasn’t looking. As hurt and anger singed at the corners of his control, he pushed his plate aside. “What the hell?” he repeated.
“Davey.” Cruz’s voice was low and calm. “Your mother was one of my few close friends in school and you know we’ve kept in touch over the years. I’m going to want to see her while we’re here.” Cruz finished off the last of his sausage, then looked him directly in the eye. “I was hoping you would too.”
Davey didn’t say anything for a long moment. That was the last thing he wanted. But at his dad’s funeral, he had promised his mom that he would touch base with her after the season had ended. He’d come to Serenity because of Ben, but he would have come at some point anyway because of the promise he’d made.
Guilt sliced through him. He was such an asshole, giving Cruz a hard time. He glanced over at his friend. “I’m sorry, man. It’s just, the wounds go deep, you know?”
Cruz nodded, then carried their dishes to the sink. He put on a pot of coffee before returning to the table. “There was more to what happened than you know, maybe more than I know too,” Cruz said. “You need to sit down with your mother and talk it out.”
Davey must have looked as horrified as he felt because Cruz let out a rumbling chuckle. “It doesn’t have to be tomorrow.”
Thank God. Because if Cruz had asked it of him, he would have done it. But he wasn’t quite ready for his mother. He had to figure out how to be a parent himself before he would be ready to deal with his own parental issues. “I’ll think about it, okay?”
“That’s all I can ask.” Cruz slapped him on the back. “But I’m going to get together with your mother occasionally while we’re here. Okay?”
Embarrassed over his hissy-fit, Davey nodded. He hadn’t even been home for two weeks and the damn town was already making him soft, making him feel emotions he used to easily keep at bay. But they’d only be around for another couple of months before the next season began. He could manage anything for a couple of months.
“It’s fine.” He pinched his lips together. “Sorry for being all pissy.” Before Cruz could respond, and because he didn’t want to talk about his mother or his piss-poor attitude, he changed the subject. “Back to Nora. She might not like me, but she should know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my kid.”
Cruz raised a dark brow.
“Come on.” Davey pinned a look on Cruz. “You of all people should know that.”
“I know you wouldn’t intentionally hurt him.” Cruz rose, grabbed two mugs from the cupboard, and poured coffee. He returned to the table with the mugs, then retrieved cream and sugar.
“Thanks,” Davey said, taking one of the mugs. He doctored up his coffee, then met Cruz’s gaze. “What do you mean?”
“We’ll be out of here in January.”
“Shit.” That’s probably what Nora had been thinking too. That he’d up and leave like her father had done. He pushed a hand through his hair. He’d only be around for Ben for two months before he had to leave. “Fuck,” he said, understanding, maybe even respecting, Nora’s hesitation.
“I don’t want to be that kind of father.” He pressed a hand to the back of his neck. He supposed he could fly back occasionally during the season to see Ben, and maybe he could fly Ben to a few of his races. But that wasn’t the kind of father-son relationship he wanted. He wanted much more, but there wasn’t a lot he could do about it. He raced cars for a living and his career entailed significant travel. “What choice do I have?”
Leveling a look at him, Cruz took a sip of his coffee. “There’s always a choice.”
Chapter Six
On Saturday, Nora drove Ben to the neighboring town of Fallsdale so he could spend the day with Davey. A couple of Davey’s friends were in town so Davey had asked if she minded driving Ben over.
She didn’t mind the drive.
What she had minded was Davey bringing Ben home the night before with stiches. Six of them reached from Ben’s brow to his hairline, the result of an ATV accident. Even worse, Davey hadn’t bothered to call her after the accident. When he’d brought Ben home and she’d read him the riot act, his explanation had been, ‘Boys will be boys,’ followed by, ‘Shit happens.’
That was easy for him to say considering his high tolerance for risks but it wasn’t acceptable that he’d put Ben in a dangerous situation without giving it a second thought.
Davey had further suggested she was overreacting which had ticked her off. Ben had landed in the hospital and he’d been lucky he hadn’t been hurt beyond the gash on his head. It was only after she’d balked at Davey’s plans for today that he had promised to be more responsible. Pulling into the parking lot of the luxury condominiums, she could only hope that was the case.
“This is gonna be so much fun,” Ben said. His giddy joy was the only reason she had agreed to let him spend the day and night with Davey. As a sense of unease unfurled, she hoped she wouldn’t regret it.
After what had happened yesterday, anxiety plucked at her insides. She reminded herself that her little man wasn’t so little anymore; he was nine going on ten. He’d had plenty of sleepovers so he could surely manage one with his father.
Ben grabbed his bag and jumped out of the car the second she put it in park. Nora got out of her Honda and followed Ben to the center court fountain where they had agreed to meet at noon. It was noon on the dot, but Davey was nowhere to be seen.
“For God’s sake,” she muttered under her breath. “Can’t the man ever be on time?” Stepping around the corner of the building, she whipped out her cell phone and dialed his number. But when she lifted her gaze, she spotted Davey in the hot tub along with two other men and three women. Empty beer and wine bottles littered the space around them. She gaped at Davey as she dropped the phone back into her purse.
Sometimes Nora thought the gods were against her. Why couldn’t Ben’s dad have been a doctor or a lawyer instead of a race car driver? From the online pictures she’d viewed of Davey and his NASCAR buddies, their breed seemed to live fast and wild. Drinking, partying, and carousing with loose women. Not exactly the kind of role model she wanted for Ben.
To top it off, Davey had obviously forgotten about the date he’d made with his son. Annoyed, she spun around to find Ben and usher him home, but he had followed her around the corner and was waving at Davey.
Before she could stop him, Ben called out.
“Dad! Dad!” He waved both hands in the air. As Nora’s gaze zeroed in on the large bandage on Ben’s head, a fresh wave of irritation shot through her.
Davey waved back, and then climbed out of the hot tub to the chagrin of the red-head. As he pulled a towel around his waist, the woman who’d been wrapped around him rose without even bothering to tie the back of her string bikini top. “Do you really have to go?”
she purred, reaching for Davey while her boobs flopped around.
“Yep,” Davey said, taking a step back. “I have a date with my boy.”
Ben gaped wide-eyed at the red-head who had now tossed her top aside. Nora put a hand over his eyes.
“But we were just getting started,” the red-head whined, thrusting her chest toward Davey.
“Sorry.” Davey didn’t look at his date as he spoke. Instead, he pivoted and trotted toward them.
The guy with midnight black hair put his arm around the pouty red-head. “Come on baby, Cee-Cee has room for one more.” He grinned as she slipped back into the hot tub and settled next to him. The woman didn’t seem to mind the change of game, nor did she seem fazed by having to share Cee-Cee with the blonde on his other side.
“Damn, is it noon already?” Davey asked as he approached.
Crossing her arms, Nora gave him a stern look.
He ignored her.
“Hey there, buddy.” Davey ruffled Ben’s hair. “Sorry I lost track of time.”
“Damn,” Ben said, moving with a swagger that looked a lot like Davey’s.
“Ben!” she reprimanded, but before she could say anything more the dark-haired guy called out to her.
“Hey cutie.” He flashed a smile. “You must be Nora. Want to join us after Davey takes the kid? AJ’s one short now.”
The man with tawny brown hair flashed her a grin.
Unbelievable. These were Davey’s friends? As she wondered whether they’d be spending time with Ben today, her anxiety kicked up a level.
She huffed out a sound of disgust as Davey flipped his friend the finger. When Cee-Cee howled with laughter, she glanced at Ben who had his middle finger extended in the air alongside Davey.
“Ergh.” She shoved Ben’s hand down. “Stop that right now! That’s completely unacceptable.”
“But Dad did it.” Ben smiled up at his father like he was some kind of god. “I wanna be just like him. Look at those big arm muscles. Can you make mine like yours, Dad?”
Nora lifted her gaze to Davey, trying very hard not to look at the muscles Ben had just mentioned. It was hard considering Davey only had on swimming trunks and a towel. She had already seen his well-defined arm muscles, but she’d had no idea his chest was that solid. And those six-pack abs were drool-worthy.
Davey gave her a look of half apology and half come-get-me as if he’d caught her checking him out.
She chastised herself for thinking about him in that way. She wasn’t interested in a Casanova. She wasn’t interested in any man right now. Ben was her sole focus.
She squatted down to look Ben in the eye. “Your dad and I need to talk privately. Why don’t you wait over there—” she tipped her head toward a bench on the other side of the fountain “—and we’ll join you in a few minutes?”
Ben shuffled his feet on the ground. “Are you mad at my dad?”
Her nephew was way too observant. “No,” she lied.
“Yes you are,” Ben said. “You have that look.”
This set Davey off in a coughing frenzy, a poor coverup for his hoot of laughter. She glowered at him before turning back to Ben. “Maybe a little. But I need a few minutes, okay?”
A line creased Ben’s forehead. “But I still get to stay, right?”
Clenching her jaw, she contemplated how to answer Ben’s question. She’d had high hopes that his dad would be the perfect father figure to fill the male role model void in Ben’s life. But thus far, Davey had been more like Homer Simpson than Mike Brady.
Even worse, she didn’t trust Davey. This was his second outing with Ben. The first one, her nephew had come home with stiches. Today, he’d already seen his father partying with a half-naked woman. What would the afternoon—and God forbid, the night—have in store if she allowed him stay?
‘No’ was on the tip of her tongue, but when she took in the pleading look on his face, she let out a resigned sigh. “Yes.”
Ben did a happy dance and then trotted toward the bench on the other side of the fountain.
Rising, she avoided looking at Davey’s hot body. Instead, she shifted her attention to his inadequate parenting. “Damn it, Davey, when you agree to a time with your son, you need to be ready.” She crossed her arms. “Not partying it up with a bunch of half-naked women. What kind of message do you think that sends to Ben?”
“I’m sorry.” Davey raked his fingers through his wet hair. “I lost track of time.”
“That’s what you said at the restaurant.” Seriously, he couldn’t come up with something less lame? “Get a watch. And how much have you had to drink?”
“Nothing.” He raised his hands in the air. “I swear! I told you I don’t drink.” He huffed out a breath. “Jesus, I wouldn’t get buzzed before spending time with my kid.”
She put a hand on her hip and tipped her head back so she could study his eyes. Although she was better at connecting with animals than with people, eyes were a window to the soul. And Davey’s indicated he was telling the truth.
She left Ben with Davey and got into her car feeling out of sorts. On the way home, she experienced a surprising urge to visit her old neighborhood. Following her impulse, she exited the highway and made her way toward her childhood home. Her skin crawled as she drove past the run-down shack that she had lived in as a kid. Once she’d passed the house from hell, she popped over the next hill and the Kent’s farm came into view, shining like the beacon it had been in her youth. As a child, she’d spent a lot of time there, nurtured by the loving energy of the land and the animals.
She pulled over, parked on the side of the road, and climbed out of her Honda. Inhaling the crisp country air, she walked toward the familiar iron gate and ducked in between the rungs. Ambling through the cow pasture, her shoulders loosened and her burdens lightened. Extending her hands toward the sky, she twirled in circles soaking in the peace, love, and light.
She considered making her way to the white farmhouse to visit with the Kent’s, but as she pivoted, a large cow with dark expressive eyes and a shiny coat resembling a blanket of newly fallen snow approached.
“Well, hello,” she said in a gentle voice. “May I?” Extending her palm, she mentally invited calming aqua energy to envelop them.
As they were bathed in tranquility, the cow slowly lowered her head until her forehead was flat in front of Nora’s face.
Nora rubbed the cow’s fuzzy head. “How I’ve missed this.” The cow nuzzled her head against Nora’s hand, making her laugh. “Feels good to laugh too. I’ve had a crappy day.”
When she kissed the cow’s nose, her body relaxed, her mind softened, and her consciousness connected with the cow’s.
Be happy, the cow communicated telepathically, then she gave Nora a gentle head butt.
Nora laughed again as she stroked the cow’s side. “I wish it were that easy.”
The cow lifted her head. It is that easy.
Nora sighed. “It’s easier said than done.” She studied the beautiful white creature. The cow looked happy and her energy felt happy. But how? The cows Nora had played with as a child had turned over regularly as they’d been sent to slaughter, breaking her heart each and every time. How could this cow be happy considering the inevitable? Maybe she didn’t realize her unfortunate fate.
I know, the cow said. We all know.
“I’m so sorry.” Nora touched her head to the gentle creature’s as a tear of injustice fell down her cheek. “It’s so unfair.” She lifted her gaze to the cow’s. “But how do you know what’s coming?”
Through our collective consciousness.
“If you know, why aren’t you overwhelmed with anxiety?” If that inescapable fate awaited Nora, she’d be plagued with fear. But the cow was calm, content…happy. Maybe if Nora could figure out the cow’s secret, she could find happiness, even during trying times.
The mind will suck you into its madness if you allow it, the cow said. But you can avoid that by staying connected to the present moment.<
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Nora marinated on that. She grasped how being present might help her enhance the joys in her life. But what about times when things weren’t going well, when she had a bad gut feeling, or when something daunting hovered over her?
Most of the time, that which you worry about isn’t nearly as bad as the worry itself, the cow said. You can stay connected to the present moment even during worrisome times just like a leaf stays afloat on a stream. The cow head butted Nora again, which touched her, considering cows often communicated with one another in that manner. When you allow your worries to drift away, you become light like the leaf and have the ability to glide effortlessly to the lush green riverbank.
The cow tipped her head to the west and Nora followed her gaze, taking in the breathtaking blue sky, the fluffy white clouds, the bright yellow sun glimmering on the fields below. Beyond the fields were a babbling brook, rolling hills of green and gold, and layers of blue mountains.
We live in the moment, the cow said. All the time.
Drawing in this profound insight, Nora eased to the ground and was surprised when the huge white cow lowered next to her. They sat in compatible silence. Gazing at the picturesque scene, Nora pondered the cow’s wisdom.
If she could let go of her worries about Ben’s wellbeing when he was with Davey, shedding those extra pounds, and finding her life’s purpose and instead focus in the now, her life would improve immeasurably.
On Saturday evening, Nora worked at On The Rocks to cover for one of the nighttime bartenders who was on vacation. Wiping down the bar, she hummed along with the light rock music pumping through the sound system. She’d turned her mood around after spending the morning at the Kent’s farm and the afternoon antiquing with Ella.
She hadn’t heard from Ben, which she took as a good sign. Besides, her doubts about Davey were offset by her confidence in Cruz who was also living at Davey’s dad’s place. With him around, Nora had nothing to worry about.
But her positive self-talk flew out the window when Steph stepped into the restaurant arm-in-arm with Cruz. Nerves thrummed inside Nora even as her heart warmed for her friend.
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