A corner of Davey’s mouth lifted. “Then why’d you go out with Matt?”
“I thought I could keep him and Ben separate.” Guilt gushed through her. Had Ben suffered at times because she’d been out having fun with Matt? Perhaps, but had she had the opportunity to be with Ben instead, she would have taken it. She’d tried to talk Lynn into letting Ben live with her multiple times, but her sister had refused. Lynn had loved Ben and hadn’t wanted to give him up. She only let Nora help when she was completely out of it. But Nora didn’t want to get into all of that. “I learned my lesson,” she said instead.
Davey put down his fork. “Yeah, and what’s that?”
“I can only depend on myself.” She drained the rest of her champagne. Feeling a little buzzed, she knew she should keep her mouth shut. But she didn’t. “Because men always leave,” she added, swirling the remaining liquid in her glass. Even in her half-inebriated state, she wished she hadn’t shared that. But part of her live-out-loud style was speaking first, thinking later. It was who she was.
“Nothing personal,” she said. She glanced over, expecting Davey to be insulted or at least defensive. But he was neither.
“None taken.” He gave her a charming smile.
Mulling over Davey’s reaction, she wasn’t surprised. From everything she’d read about him, he was a leaver too.
Chapter Fourteen
After dinner, Davey suggested a drive. He’d had a really nice time with Nora and he didn’t want the evening to end. He also wanted time to talk through her comment about men leaving. It had been clear that she hadn’t meant to make the statement, but he was glad she had.
Even though that had been her experience, he wanted her to know that not all men were like that. As he headed out of town, a little voice in his head poked at him. Who was he to refute Nora’s statement? He didn’t know shit about relationships. He’d never been in a long-term relationship; he’d always walked away.
Even so, he squashed the nay-saying voice. He may not have had a lot of relationship experience, but he knew there were good men out there. Like Cruz, the man Davey was striving to be.
As he drove, they listened to music on the radio—jazz, pop, then country—because Nora liked to change the station frequently. As he neared one of his old dirt tracks, he was drawn toward it. They ended up on the bleachers there.
Davey took Nora’s hand as they studied the track, lit only by a half moon and a star-studded sky.
“How old were you when you raced here?” Nora asked him.
“Sixteen.” He slid closer to her. “We’d just moved here.” The move had been bittersweet. He’d been highly successful at this track and it had propelled him to even bigger tracks which had led him to the professionals. But the move had also caused his breakup with Lynn. He glanced at Nora, wondering if he was on her list of leavers because of it.
“Lynn and I broke up because I moved here,” he said. “It was a good move for me professionally. My success at the tracks here ultimately got me into the Xfinity Series.” He rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand. “But at the time, it was damn hard to leave. Had my dad not pushed me, I probably would have stayed in Serenity.” He let out a half-laugh. “I was pretty into your sister.”
Nora didn’t respond, but her pretty green eyes widened as if she’d been surprised by his statement.
He straddled the bleachers so he was facing her and patted the space in front of him. Nora hesitated, but then she straddled the bleacher facing him. He took both of her hands. “Nora, not all men leave.”
“The men in my life do,” she said, glancing down at their joined hands.
“Maybe you just haven’t found the right man,” Davey said, shocked even as the words rolled out of his mouth. Where had that come from? But it got Nora’s attention.
“Maybe.” Her response was tentative but her head lifted and her shoulders relaxed as she spoke.
“How about we just take this one step at a time,” he suggested, touching a hand to her cheek.
Her green eyes widened and sparked with surprise. “We have a this?”
“I sure as hell hope so.” He leaned in and skimmed his lips over hers. When she let out a soft moan, he kissed her, sweet, intense, and lingering. He drew back only when he needed air.
“We can’t do this,” she said. But as she protested, she nibbled on his lower lip.
“Really?” he asked, half-amused. On a hunch, he waited her out. Sure enough, a couple of beats later she tugged his mouth to hers for a smoking hot kiss.
When she drew back, she slid back. “We gotta stop doing that,” she said, even though her actions indicated she wanted something entirely different. She rubbed her fingers over her lips like they were still burning from his kiss and her eyes glinted red hot desire.
While she was still a little disoriented, he pulled her in closer. “I’m gonna come back you know.” He rested his forehead on hers. “As much as I can in between races.”
“I want to believe,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.
He rubbed his hands up her arms. “Give me the chance.”
“But I don’t really know you,” she said, her voice low.
Straightening, he caught her gaze. “What do you want to know?”
She tipped her head skyward and stared at the moon for a long moment, as if seeking guidance. “What was it like growing up with your dad?” she asked after lowering her head.
He never talked about his childhood. Living with his dad had had more ups and downs, forwards and backwards, than Dollywood’s FireChaser Express rollercoaster. But he’d made the offer and he was going to see it through.
“My dad was very strict and very focused.” He absently drew circles on the top of Nora’s hand with his fingers. “He was a good race coach. I wouldn’t be where I am today without him.” He paused to give credit where credit was due. “But I didn’t have a normal childhood. Dad frowned on friends—male or female—and on anything in my life that wasn’t tied to racing.”
“That must have been hard.” Nora’s look of empathy made him continue, even though the worst was yet to come.
“A lot of athletes have that kind of childhood,” he said. He’d read many stories of Olympians, hockey and baseball players, who had dedicated their childhood to their sport. “That wasn’t so bad. Racing kept me off the streets and kept me out of trouble.” He tightened his hand into a fist, then loosened it. Nora had been open and honest with him earlier when she’d shared details of her childhood. He wanted to do the same. “But Dad drank. A lot.” He wrapped his arms around Nora’s waist, and instantly felt her nurturing comfort. “When he drank, he got mean.”
Nora’s eyes were pained. “Did he hurt you?”
For a split-second Davey’s mind flashed back to the beatings which had begun after his mother had left, but he cut the memories off. “He mostly just smacked me around.”
“Oh, Davey.” She snuggled her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry you didn’t have anyone to stand up to him.”
“I did,” he said quietly. “I had Cruz.” Cruz had rescued him more than once. Afterward, Cruz would take Davey to his place. Davey remembered those nights well. He hadn’t had to worry about his father’s state of sobriety nor did he have to fear what violence the night might bring. Cruz’s place had been peaceful and loving, and he’d always slept like a baby.
Nora raised her head and pressed a soothing kiss on his cheek. “I’m glad you had Cruz.” She wrapped her legs around his waist, her hands around his head, then kissed him. Her lips were scorching hot. As they made out, his hands trailed her curves and cupped her ample ass.
He usually dated models and actresses, who by virtue of their profession, were pencil thin. Nora had lots of curves and he took great pleasure in putting his hands all over them. As his forehead broke into a sweat, she drew back even though her pretty emerald gaze looked every bit as heated as his felt.
“What else do you want to know?” he asked, his voice husk
ier than he had intended.
“Did you always want to race?” Her voice was gratifyingly low and breathless.
“Nah.” He rested his forehead on hers again. “I love driving, but racing was my dad’s dream.” He rubbed his palm on her thigh. “My youthful passion was working on engines with Cruz.”
He had never admitted that to anyone before…not even himself.
Later that night, Davey reflected on his evening. He’d had a lot of fun with Nora. She’d been open and honest, and he had surprised himself by opening up to her too.
He had no idea what to do with the strong feelings he had for her. He could admit that for the first time, his feelings went far deeper than basic lust. As much as he wanted to push these uncomfortable emotions under the rug, they wouldn’t be suppressed.
He had no experience with relationships but even with no experience, he recognized he wanted to be with Nora for reasons other than sex. Of course, he wanted to have sex with her too, almost as much as he wanted to win the Monster Energy Series. But for the first time in his adult life, he wanted more.
The next morning, Davey met Nora in the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast. He ordered the Sunrise Wake-Up special while Nora ordered oatmeal with no milk, fruit, and a vegan english muffin, hold the butter.
They talked about their race experience and tossed around ideas for their outing with Ben and Lucas, settling on pizza and arcades.
Food arrived quickly. As he eyed Nora’s less than appetizing meal, he raised a brow. “When did you become a vegan?”
“After my Pap died,” she said, sipping her hot tea. “Because my mom was crazy.”
She had a sad look that he wished he could make go away. Even so, he didn’t get the connection.
Nora took a bite of cantaloupe and spread strawberry jam on half of her muffin. He didn’t think she was going to expand, but she glanced up at him with glossy eyes. “Animals helped me through my childhood. The animals and Ella were my only friends, the only souls I could count on after Pap died.”
He simply nodded, because there wasn’t anything to say. No one deserved to have as shitty of a childhood as she’d had. He admired the hell out of her for becoming a kind, nurturing woman considering what she’d been through.
“I had a Pitbull, Astro, who would rush into the closet to be with me when my mom locked me in, even though he knew it would be for long periods of time. He was my best friend in the whole world.” She sighed wistfully. “Astro made everything better.”
Davey ate his eggs and bacon in silence, but his jaw tightened as he listened to Nora talk. No one should have to put up with that shit, especially not a kid. Thank God for Astro, who Nora seemed to think had reincarnated into Cosmo. He made a mental note to give Cosmo a big kiss when they got home, on the off chance that she was right.
“When my mom got real crazy, I’d go to the farm next door and sit with the cows.” She stared at him for a long moment in silence, as if deciding whether to continue. “This might sound silly, but I connected with the cows. When I would cry, the mother cows would nuzzle their noses against me and offer comfort. They’d promise that the bad stuff would pass, and it always did.” Nora had a far-away look but the sadness had been replaced with wistfulness. While the idea seemed outlandish, somehow it fit Nora. He imagined the dog and the cows helped form the person she was today. Even though she had lived in hell, they had shown her compassion and they’d taught her how to love in spite of it.
“Then Wilma, one of the Kent’s pigs, had babies,” Nora said, “and I was there to help.” Her eyes turned thoughtful. “After being consoled time and time again by the mama cows, after gazing into the eyes of the newborn piglets, I realized that animals were living souls. I haven’t eaten meat since that epiphany.” She glanced at his plate with shimmering eyes.
Well, damn. “How old were you?”
“Nine,” she said, dabbing at her tears with the corner of a napkin.
On a quiet sigh, he pushed his plate aside, bacon and all. He really loved bacon. But how could he eat it after Nora’s heartfelt story?
“Did you mom support your choice?” he asked, even though he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.
“She told me I’d eat what we had or I’d get nothing.” Nora lifted her chin. “I picked nothing.” Sipping tea, her lips curved into a half smile. “Lynn would sneak me candy, which was my dinner more often than not.” Her smile faded. “It was also the start of my chunky issues.”
His eyes scanned Nora’s figure or what he could see of it with the table in between them. She sure wasn’t chunky now. She was curvy and sexy as hell. “You aren’t chunky now,” he said, his voice husky.
She gave him a look that said she didn’t believe him, then blew her nose noisily. “My mother was a nightmare,” she said, ignoring his compliment, “but your mom’s amazing. You should give her a chance.”
He wanted to continue with their prior conversation but Nora’s head was cocked to one side and she was staring at him expectantly indicating she had moved on.
Resigned, he took a slow sip of coffee. “I’m trying,” he said a little defensively. “But she left me and didn’t look back.” Are you really trying, asked a voice from deep inside of him. Stupid voice. Of course he was trying. Sort of. He shifted uncomfortably. “That’s hard to get over.”
“But she had a—”
He raised a palm. “I know what you’re gonna say.” Nora adored his mother and would make any excuse for her. The little voice in his gut returned. Hear her out. Both Nora and Cruz see something in your mother that you don’t. Jesus, he was losing it. He shook his head, shaking off the voice along with it. “You know her now. I’ll admit she seems okay now. But as a kid, it sucked having her leave.” He took another gulp of the steaming drink to push down the lump of hurt that had lodged in his throat. “I had friends whose parents got divorced but they still saw both of their parents. I got nothing from my mom, she just disappeared. Obviously, she didn’t give a damn about me.”
“You told her that you hated her,” Nora challenged. “And that you never wanted to see her again.”
Davey’s chest tightened. He had said those things, but he’d been a stupid, angry kid. “I was fourteen. Kids say shit.” His jaw clenched. “I’m trying, okay? But it’s hard.” He sucked in some air and attempted to maintain a calm voice. “I get why she left my dad. He could be a real asshole. But it’s hard to forgive her for leaving me and for moving away.”
Nora fidgeted with her silverware. “It’s not really my place to tell you, but….” She paused and took a drink of her tea. “You know what, never mind. Not my place.”
“Oh, no.” He reached across the table and put a hand over hers until she lifted her gaze. “You can’t start something like that, then leave me hanging.”
She nodded. “You’re right.” He liked that Nora played fair. “Me and my big mouth,” she muttered, pushing food around on her plate. “She moved away because she had cancer.” As Nora’s gaze met his, Davey’s heart stuttered to a stop. “She’d been given less than a year to live.”
His mother had cancer? The ongoing anger and resentment that roiled in his gut came to an eerie standstill. “Is she okay?” he asked, with genuine concern.
“She’s okay now,” Nora said gently.
Maybe Nora had been mistaken. Surely his mother would have told him if she’d been diagnosed with cancer and if she’d only been given a year to live.
“Are you sure?” He clutched his hands around his mug, drawing in its warmth.
His mother and Cruz waltzed into the restaurant sporting big fat smiles. Irritation slithered into Davey’s jaw. He wasn’t sure if it was because of their we-just-had-sex glows or the notion that his mother might have had cancer without telling him.
Nora got up and greeted them.
A muscle in Davey’s jaw twitched as he rose and spun toward his mother. “You had cancer and you didn’t bother to tell me?” His hand curled into a fist at his side.
“I’m your son!”
Nora’s mouth dropped open and Cruz’s smile turned into a frown.
Davey’s mother, on the other hand, appeared to be pleased. One corner of her mouth actually ticked up. What the hell? Why was she happy when he was all pissy?
Cruz gave Davey a calm-the-fuck-down look and then moved in between him and his mother. “Is this true?” he asked quietly, his hands clasped around Davey’s mother’s face.
“Yes, but—”
“Are you okay now, Steph?” Cruz asked, running a hand through her hair.
Cruz’s quiet compassion worked its way through Davey’s system, making him feel like a real jerk. He’d practically attacked his mother because he’d been worried about her. Clearly, he had communication issues. He ran a hand over his face, ready to apologize.
“I’m fine. I’ve been in remission for nine years,” his mother said, and relief flooded Davey like a tidal wave. Apparently, it had the same impact on Cruz because he tugged her into a long hug.
Afterward, Davey stepped around Cruz and put a hand on his mother’s arm. “I’m sorry for being an ass.”
She opened her arms and he stepped into them. As she pulled him in close, warm, loving sensations gushed through him. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
“That’s the first time you’ve called me mom since you were a kid,” she said, her voice unsteady.
Yeah, he’d caught that too. But it was time for him to leave the past where it belonged—in the past.
When his mom drew back, she had misty eyes and a happy smile. She wiped a tear from her cheek as Cruz patted him on the back.
“Please join us,” Nora said, waving a hand toward their table.
Cruz pulled another table over. After they were all seated, he leaned across the table toward Davey’s mom. “You’re one-hundred-percent okay now?”
“Yes.” She lifted her head. “I appreciate the concern, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before—both of you.” She glanced across the table at Cruz, then at Davey. “You were mad as a hornet at me back then. I went to a couple of your races and your dad told me you didn’t want to see me.”
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