“For now.” Hud winked at her as he offered another roll.
“It’s not like that.” She took a piece of bread. “We’re just bringing each other a little joy.”
“Why wouldn’t you want more with Cruz?” Nora asked. “Like you said, he’s sweet and kind.”
“Tuck started out that way too.” Steph hadn’t intended to share that. But now that she had, she may as well be completely honest. “Tuck was nice at first and romantic too. He used to bring me wildflowers every week.” She smiled at their early memories, at their good times. Unfortunately, they had been short lived.
“What happened?” Nora wanted to know.
Steph pressed her lips together, contemplating how much to reveal. She never talked about it. But Nora and Hud were her friends, her family, and she trusted them. Maybe it was time to share that which she’d bottled up for so long.
“I had a crush on Cruz in high school, but at the time I didn’t realize he felt the same way.” She smiled wistfully. “Tuck swooped in and romanced me. Dinner and dancing. Football games and races. Then I got pregnant.” Tuck had been good about her pregnancy. When she had shared the news, he’d proposed. “I was seventeen and in love. We got married, but it went downhill from there.”
“He didn’t want to be married?” Hud asked.
“Or he didn’t want a child,” Nora commented.
Steph’s chest tightened and she pulled in a long breath to expand her lungs. “I don’t think it was either. He wanted to be married and he wanted to have a son.” The tightness returned over their countless fights about parenting. “Tuck wanted to build a father-son racing empire. I wanted Davey to choose what he wanted to do.”
“Didn’t Davey want to race?” Nora asked, tracing a finger around the rim of her glass.
“I’m not sure,” Steph admitted, feeling the familiar clutch of guilt. Tuck had been a bulldozer when it came to immersing Davey in racing and she had eventually given in. “Tuck had Davey in race cars before he could walk. It became Davey’s way of life more than a conscious choice.”
“Sounds like Tuck had everything he wanted,” Hud said.
She’d heard that line before—they’d been dubbed the perfect race family. But their family life had been far from perfect.
“What went wrong?” Nora asked.
“Tuck was a good racer, but he wasn’t great.” Steph pressed a hand to her stomach. She didn’t like to think about her time with Tuck, but she suspected getting it off her chest would be healthy. “He wasn’t good enough for the big leagues. When he realized it, he got bitter.” It had started with venomous words. He would blame her for his losses. She hadn’t fed him the right things, she hadn’t set the right environment or she hadn’t supported him enough. At first, he’d made her feel sad, miserable, and small. Then one day her mother had come to her in a dream and told her that she was beautiful, strong, and loved. Her mother’s light had helped her find her strength and pick herself up. She’d leaned heavily on her sister and had sought online support to avoid getting sucked into Tuck’s vortex of negativity.
While Tuck continually berated her, he was the opposite with Davey. It had perplexed her, but she’d also been grateful because Davey had been an impressionable child.
Over the years, Steph had come to the conclusion that Tuck was living his dreams through Davey. That had made her unhappy because she’d wanted Davey to have the opportunity to make his own choices. Even so, she’d been thankful that Davey and his father had a positive relationship.
She could have dealt with Tuck’s negativity. But then he’d turned mean. She shivered at the vivid recollection of the first time he’d gotten physical with her. He’d had a particularly bad performance in a big race. At home, after the race, he’d started his usual yelling. She’d attempted to make a quick exit from the kitchen but he’d caught her by both arms and had thrown her against the wall with such force that it had sucked the wind from her lungs. As she’d laid in a rumpled mess on the floor—shocked, angry, and embarrassed—Tuck had stepped over her and left her to deal with her mental and physical injuries alone.
As her hands trembled, Nora slid next to her and put an arm around her shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
Steph drew comfort from Nora’s embrace, and from Hud’s concerned expression. She needed to talk. “Tuck realized that Davey could live out his NASCAR dreams. He began pushing Davey harder and harder which caused more contention between us.” That was an understatement. She’d been young and naïve and had been trying to make things work. But she hadn’t been able to reach Tuck, especially after he turned to alcohol. “When he started drinking, he got even meaner.”
Nora drew back and her eyes widened while Hud’s darkened.
Because of Davey, Steph had stayed after the kitchen incident, hoping that Tuck’s violence had been a single moment of stupidity.
“Did he hurt you?” Hud asked, his voice dark.
Steph appreciated his concern, but Hud couldn’t do anything about it now. Tuck was dead. She pulled in a long breath before she continued. “He started hitting….”
“Asshole,” Nora said as Hud’s face reddened.
Steph gave her friends a half-smile, appreciative of their support. Even so, her face burned at the admission, although she wasn’t sure whether it was from embarrassment or because upon reflection she could still feel the sting from his hard hand. She touched a hand to her cheek. “And I worked up the courage to leave.”
Nora pulled her into a hug.
Steph rested her head on Nora’s shoulder. After a long moment, she straightened and glanced at Hud whose eyes were still dark. “He never hit Davey. I knew he wouldn’t because Davey was his meal ticket. But I couldn’t stay.” She clasped her hands together. “That’s my story in a nutshell.”
There had been a lot more to it. There’d been a steady stream of women that she had overlooked. Tuck had smacked her around for months before she’d finally left.
“Anyway,” she said, rising and retrieving Nora’s tea kettle. “That’s why I have no desire to get into another relationship.” While she wanted to believe that Cruz was different, she’d thought Tuck had been kind and considerate once upon a time too. Besides, there was no reason for her to get into a serious relationship. She and Cruz could have fun while keeping things light. She didn’t want to risk ruining the best friendship she’d ever had. “I’m focused on the now,” she said, using the concept that usually blanketed her in tranquility.
This time, it had the opposite effect. Unease twined through her solar plexus. You’re afraid, her inner voice advised. You’re using the power of now as a shield to avoid taking actions to build a better future.
The tea kettle whistled and she shook off her inner voice. While her intuition was usually right, this time it was wrong. Focusing on the now was a positive, and she and Cruz were bringing each other joy in the now. End of story.
At home in Nora’s kitchen, she fixed two cups of chamomile tea, one for her and one for Nora. After, she poured Hud a cup of black coffee. She carried the drinks to the table and took a sip of tea before turning to Nora. “Enough about me. What’s going on with you and Davey?”
Nora coughed. “Well….”
Steph laughed. “Come on, honey, it’s me.”
Nora’s cheeks turned pink. That was a good sign; it meant there was something to talk about. Steph smiled into her tea.
“But you’re Davey’s mother.”
Steph put down her mug and looked Nora in the eye. “I think of you like a daughter.”
Nora beamed. “I feel the same way.” She took a drink of tea and Steph got the distinct impression she was pondering how much to share. “Here’s the deal,” Nora finally said. “We’ve gone out.” Her cheeks were still flushed suggesting that going out may have been code for staying in, which couldn’t have delighted Steph more. “But I told Davey I couldn’t go out with him anymore.” Again, Nora stressed the words ‘go
out’ as if they held a secret meaning.
Hud’s eyes tracked Nora’s every word but he stayed out of the conversation, quietly sipping his coffee. Hud wasn’t usually quiet, making Steph wonder if he had picked up on something more too.
“Why not?” Steph asked.
“Because Ben needs a mother-figure,” Nora said. “And he needs his father too. I don’t want to mess that up.”
Hud chuckled. “In a lot of homes, kids live with both their mom and their dad.”
Nora sighed into her tea. “Not in my world.”
Chapter Sixteen
Davey awoke thinking about Nora and her one-night decree. She was so different from the women he typically dated. She was sweet and kind, open and honest. He’d be crazy if he didn’t pursue her. He just needed to take it slow, so they could both feel their way into a relationship.
“What do you think, girl?” he asked Daisy, rubbing the dog’s head.
Daisy let out a half-howl, half-bark that Davey took as agreement.
He rolled out of bed, took a shower, then joined Cruz in the kitchen.
Cruz’s eyes narrowed as he approached. “I take it you haven’t turned on ESPN this morning.” He pushed a mug of coffee into Davey’s hands.
“What’s going on?” he asked, as a twinge of unease surfaced.
Cruz picked up the TV remote and waved for Davey to follow. In the living room, Cruz turned on the big-ass TV, which was positioned on the wall of electronics Davey had installed. It was the only section of the room that didn’t cry out for remodeling. Cruz selected “Fallen Sports Heroes” from the list of recordings and pressed play.
What the hell?
“Davey Johnson may be fast in his car, but he’s not fast taking care of his kid,” the reporter said in a smug tone.
Davey’s jaw clenched. He was taking care of his kid. “Where the fuck do they get this stuff?” he grumbled as the reporter droned on about how Davey had recently reunited with his child and how he’d become a deadbeat dad. Why did reporters take glee in reporting dirt, even if it was untrue? They placed sports figures on a damn pedestal, then took joy in knocking them down at any opportunity. As pictures of Davey and Ben at the Talladega race track filled the screen, Davey reached over to grab the remote from Cruz. He’d listened to enough of this bullshit.
Cruz stepped away, taking the remote with him. “You need to hear the rest,” he said in a quiet voice that indicated he meant business.
Crossing his arms, Davey turned his attention back to the television.
“Fast on the track, but not fast with child support,” the asshole reporter said. “According to his son’s guardian, Nora Williams, Davey hasn’t paid a cent in child support.” Red capital letters flashed across the screen: DEADBEAT DAD.
Hurt and disappointment sliced through Davey. Why would Nora throw him under the bus like that? He’d dated a couple of women who had yapped to the media in the past. But damn it, he’d thought Nora had been different.
As Cruz flicked off the TV, Davey picked up his phone and flipped through it. Irritation built as he found the same coverage on Facebook and Twitter. He played his voice messages. The first three were from reporters. He deleted them. The next message was from Cee-Cee.
“Hey man, if you need a few bucks to support your kid, give me a shout,” he said, snickering.
Davey glanced at Cruz who looked as if he might burst into laughter. At least he had the good sense not to.
The next call was from AJ. “NASCAR’s golden boy crashes and burns. Let me know if you want to grab a drink.”
The last message was from his manager. “Pay your damn child support,” Wade said. “Then get your ass back to Charlotte so we can deal with our sponsors and line up some PR.”
“What the fuck?” He lifted his gaze to Cruz. How could Nora betray him like that? If she needed money, all she’d needed to do was ask. Besides, he had offered child support and she’d declined. He didn’t know why she was being so stubborn when it was obvious that she and Ben could use the money. It put him in a difficult position. Ben was his son and his financial responsibility. He’d opened a college fund for Ben, but he needed to do more.
“Wade’s right. We need damage control,” Cruz said, “and you need to talk with Nora.”
“Oh, I’ll talk to her all right,” Davey said through gritted teeth. “What the hell was she thinking?”
“Talk before you jump to conclusions,” Cruz said. “It was probably an innocent comment that the reporter took out of context.”
Davey spared Cruz a long look, grabbed his coat, and stormed out the door. On the drive to Nora’s, he chewed on Cruz’s advice. He would give Nora the benefit of asking if she’d made the child-support statement, but it was obvious that she had talked to the reporter.
As his heart burned with disappointment, a yellow warning flag waved in his head suggesting that he’d gotten in too deep with Nora. He needed to focus on Ben, not on Nora. He also needed to get back to his season and back to the comfort of the women he usually dated. Women who didn’t know him well enough to say squat to the press.
When he pulled in front of Nora’s, his mother was on her front porch talking on her cell. She rose when she spotted him and tucked her phone in her pocket.
Shit. Cruz had probably called her.
“Damn it, Cruz,” he muttered as he jumped out of his truck. He was in no mood to be on good behavior for his mother.
“Want to come in for a cup of coffee?” she asked as he approached.
He hovered in front of the dividing rail that separated the steps between Nora’s and his mother’s. “No, but thanks.”
“It would do you good to calm down before you talk with her,” his mom said.
“Probably so.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Still, no.”
“Can I offer a piece of advice?” she said, making her way toward him.
“If I say no, will you give it anyway?”
A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Nora doesn’t have experience with the media,” she said practically echoing Cruz’s words.
That gave Davey no solace. Media trained or not, Nora should have known better than to tell a reporter that he wasn’t paying support, especially since he’d offered and she had refused to accept it. With his piss-meter rising, he tapped his foot on the pavement.
“Go easy on her,” his mother said and then disappeared inside her house.
Shaking off the second request to go easy on Nora, he jogged up her porch steps and rang the doorbell.
As he waited, he contemplated his mother and Cruz’s advice. What if they were right? He could at least start with a question instead of assuming she’d sold him out. He hoped they were right and this was all a big misunderstanding.
Nora pulled open the door wearing yoga pants and a thin sleep shirt with nothing underneath. Her nipples were perky and she was doing her best to put her hands over her chest without being obvious.
“Davey, hi.” She awkwardly clasped her arms together. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
Focus, he told himself, and not on her boobs.
“I wasn’t expecting a shit-storm in the media this morning.”
His contentious tone must have caught her attention because she didn’t invite him inside. Instead, she stepped into the middle of the doorway and raised a brow. “What are you talking about?”
“Did you tell a reporter that I wasn’t paying child support?”
“Yes. He asked—”
“Stop,” he said, with a little more force than he had intended. But he didn’t want to hear the rest of her story. He’d held out a smidgeon of hope that Cruz and his mom had been right, but that only made Nora’s disloyalty all the more painful.
“What the hell, Nora?” He pressed a fist into his chest to ease the pain. “Do you have any idea the shit that stirred up? I’m the laughing stock of the racing world and my sponsors are pissed.”
“I didn’t mean—”
He cut he
r off again. “It doesn’t matter why.” The damage had already been done and he didn’t think he could handle her excuses. Didn’t she have any common sense?
A ray of light filtered through the side porch and shone on Nora’s head. He softened, thinking about how silky her hair had felt when his hands had been in it. She shifted to get out of the direct sun, and he snapped out of his daze. Damn it, he had thought she’d been different.
Focus. He’d lost track of the golden rule. The one and only rule his father had drilled into him. Lose focus and you lose. That sure as hell had been the case here. He needed to get back to a singular focus on racing.
He reached into his pocket, pulled out a wad of money, and thrust it toward her. “Take this,” he said forcing a calm into his voice. His only consolation was that he knew what it was like to grow up not knowing where your next dime would come from and he didn’t want his son to live that way. Hell, despite everything, he didn’t want Nora to either. Empathy chipped away at some of his irritation. “I’ll pay support, Nora, like I offered before. But, if you or Ben need money, just ask, okay? Don’t talk to the reporters.”
Nora didn’t answer nor did she take the money. He wondered what she was thinking, but he had bigger issues to deal with. “I was supposed to take Ben out tomorrow but I have to get back to Charlotte to deal with my sponsors.”
“I didn’t mean to cause you issues.” Nora put a hand on her hip. “But you didn’t give me the chance to explain.”
“Because you admitted—”
This time Nora cut him off, which he supposed he deserved. She was right, he hadn’t listened. “I don’t want your damn money. We were doing fine before you showed up and we’ll be fine when you leave,” she said, and then she slammed the door in his face.
Davey stared out the expansive floor-to-ceiling windows of his Charlotte penthouse with his hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. He’d been back for a week, but he hadn’t experienced his typical season opening excitement and he couldn’t understand why. He’d had flawless practice runs and Cruz had the 36 humming. He’d done PR and had dealt with his sponsors who had all accepted that the ‘Deadbeat Dad’ report had been a colossal misunderstanding.
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