Nora had never thought of that.
“I want you to start living in the now. If you get stuck, Steph can help,” he said, nodding his head toward Steph.
Nora pondered his words. She’d heard the suggestion before; from Steph, the Kent’s cow, and the podcasts she listened to while jogging. But she wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. Didn’t everyone live in the now? “What does that mean?”
Pap shifted toward Steph. “I’ll let you take this one.”
Steph’s mouth curved into a smile. “It means you live fully in every moment, without dwelling on the past or being afraid of the future.”
“That’s right.” Pap winked at Steph. “I want you to think about the last part of what you said. We’ll talk about that in a minute.” He turned back to Nora. “When you’re persistently thinking about the past, you pour energy into things occurring the same way. Since like attracts like you only create more of the same.”
Confused, Nora angled her head. “I’m not following.”
“When you dwell in the past, you give away your personal power to create what you want in that moment because your energy and point of leverage is all directed in the past and on what has already happened, so you keep creating new versions of the past. If you’re overly focused on the future, you’re living in a time that doesn’t yet exist.” He paused for a minute as she considered his advice. It kind of made sense. If she stopped thinking about negative things from her past, like her dad leaving, she might be open to a long-term relationship. If she didn’t worry about the future, she wouldn’t expect every man to leave. According to her grandfather, she was creating that outcome with her mental focus.
“You’re getting it.” Pap patted Nora’s knee. “I promise you a more fulfilled life if you live in the now and allow that which is meant to be to come to fruition.”
Nora nodded, taking it all in. The information Pap had shared was overwhelming. Even so, light entered her chest, sunny and bright, melting the walls she had erected around her heart and allowing hope to grow.
He kissed her cheek, then turned to Steph. “As for you, my dear,” Pap said, leaning toward Steph. “You mastered focusing in the now years ago. But you can’t use the now as a tool for avoidance.” He touched a hand to Steph’s arm. “You can be focused in the present moment while taking actions that move you toward your desired future.”
Steph gave Nora’s grandfather a single nod. She didn’t look at all surprised by his statement, but she’d been studying this kind of wisdom for a lot longer than Nora had.
“Thanks for the lovely visit,” Pap said, rising. Chuckling and patting his chest he said, “It’s time for me to give these atoms and molecules back to Scott.” He paused on the way out of the office and looked back over his shoulder at them. “One more piece of advice before I leave.” He slid his gaze back and forth between Nora and Steph. “Your mind is the only thing that keeps you from living in the present.”
Deep in thought, Nora leaned back against the loveseat. Pap had given her a lot to think about. If what he’d shared actually worked, she needed to retrain her mind. She didn’t want to keep reliving the past, so she would make a point of focusing on what she wanted in the present moment.
Chapter Eighteen
Nora put the final touches on an apple-caramel cake as she thought about the text message Davey had sent her at six a.m. He’d indicated that he looked forward to seeing her when he picked Ben up later in the afternoon. He’d apologized again and had told her that he missed her. His message had chipped away at her already crumbling defenses. In part, because she had missed him too. She was eager to see him, but a little nervous too. She didn’t know what to expect and hadn’t yet decided what she wanted.
Before the reporter issue, they’d shared a beautiful night of passion. She’d told Davey that the one night was all she could give. Since then, she’d thought about that night more times than she wanted to admit. All of the reasons why they shouldn’t be together were still there—Davey’s sophisticated world, Ben getting hurt, her getting hurt—but she wasn’t as adamant about it as she had been. Maybe because she’d been thinking about her grandfather’s advice.
Today was her day off. Earlier, she and Cosmo had taken a longer than normal morning jog then she’d cleaned the house from top to bottom. As she slid the cake into the oven, she glanced at her watch. She still had plenty of time to freshen up before Ben got home from school and Davey arrived to pick him up.
She headed toward the stairs but circled back when the doorbell rang. She wondered who it could be, since Davey wasn’t due for another hour. When she opened the door, she was surprised to find him standing on her porch. He looked sexy wearing a dark blue polo shirt and faded jeans.
Crap. She had on yoga pants and an off-the-shoulder shirt that came down to her knees. Her hair was falling out of her updo and she had flour on her shirt, maybe on her face too. She pushed a strand of hair away from her forehead. “You aren’t supposed to be here yet,” she said, her voice a little breathless because the mere sight of him brought back hot memories of the night they’d spent together. “I’m a mess.” She shoved at her hair again, feeling an uncomfortable distance that hadn’t been there before.
Davey had yet to say a word. He stared at her with heated eyes—which she had to admit was gratifying—then stepped inside, pushed the door shut, and pressed her against it.
“You’re a beautiful mess,” he said, his voice husky. He plunged a hand through her hair and pulled it out of the updo. As his body brushed against hers, tingles did a salsa up and down her body.
“God, I’ve missed you.” He slowly lowered his mouth to hers, then kissed her hot, hard, and hungry. “You should have answered my texts,” he said when he came up for a quick breath. Before she could answer, he reclaimed her lips for another sizzling kiss as he splayed his hands up and down her body.
She should have been put off by his caveman behavior. Her mind attempted to issue a cease and desist order, but her body was on indulgent auto-pilot. She kissed him back with all of the forbidden passion she had bottled up inside. When he pressed his body against hers, she discovered two things. One, he was hard as a rock. Second, regardless of what she’d told herself over the last week, she wanted Davey every bit as much as he seemed to want her.
He drew back and lowered to gaze into her eyes. Cradling her face in his hands he waited, clearly looking for her concurrence.
Once again, she gave in. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him with wild abandon. They twisted and turned their way to the couch, where Davey spun her around so they fell onto the sofa with her on top.
Then they were all over each other, her lips sucking on his neck, his mouth pressing kisses along her exposed shoulder. He moved his hands underneath her shirt. “Like the free-girling,” he said, his voice half growl as he touched her unencumbered breasts.
Damn it. She didn’t have a bra on, nor did she have any panties underneath her yoga pants. In her lust-laden state, she considered shimmying out of her pants to show him. But the oven timer went off and she jerked back instead.
“I…uh…” What was she doing? She was mad at him. She slid out of his reach. “I have to get my cake.” With as much dignity as she could muster, she straightened her shirt and disappeared into the kitchen.
When she pulled the cake out of the oven and turned around, Davey was behind her. Letting out a little squeak, she almost dropped the cake, but Davey steadied her, nudging her against the counter so she could place the pan on the cooling rack.
“Smells amazing,” he said, taking a step back.
Was he sorry that he’d kissed her? It didn’t matter because she was keeping her distance. But Pap’s guidance to live in the now popped into her head, making her second guess her stance.
“It’s apple cake,” she said inanely.
Davey ran a hand through his hair. “I’m really sorry.”
She went from undecided to pissed. While she’d been trying to decide
where to go from here, he’d regretted what they’d just done. She put a hand on her hip. “If you apologize for that, I’m gonna smack you.”
Davey’s eyes lit with amusement. “Not for that,” he said, moving into her personal space. “For before that.” He put a hand on the counter on each side of her, caging her in, and then brushed his lips across the top of her ear. “For not listening to you about the reporter.” He caressed his knuckles across her cheek. “I can’t forgive myself for being an ass until you forgive me.”
Aw, damn. That was sweet.
“What do you say, Nora?” He tipped her chin up, and she gazed into his sincere eyes. “Please?”
How could she stay mad at him after what they’d just done, after his sweet words? She sighed. Pap, I hope you’re right. “I forgive you.”
Davey let out a long breath of what might have been relief, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. Soft, sweet, and tender. When he drew back, it took her a moment to collect herself.
“I have to change,” she said, glancing at the clock. “Ben’ll be home soon.”
Davey slid his hands down to circle her waist. “I’ll let you go if I can have a piece—” he gave her a slow, lazy grin “—of that cake. It smells amazing.”
“Sure.”
After she’d agreed, he still didn’t release her.
“And if you’ll go out with Ben and me tonight,” he said, pressing his lips into her hair.
That wasn’t a good idea. She didn’t belong in Davey’s world, where she had to walk on eggshells and talk to reporters. The two of them were better off as friends, as co-guardians for Ben.
Davey feathered a hand through her hair and his mouth followed the same path. As he pressed tiny kisses through her hair, she began to cave. Maybe before she decided, she should show Davey a glimpse of her world. “I’ll make you a deal,” she said, pulling back so she could look him in the eye. “I’ll have pizza with you and Ben tonight if you’ll come with us tomorrow.” Her lips lifted. “We’re volunteering at a horse sanctuary.”
He flashed a quick and easy grin. “Deal.”
With Davey’s no-hesitation agreement, Nora suspected she had moved right into the palm of his hand. Even so, it was hard to be mad at him for wanting to spend time with her. Especially since that was exactly what she wanted too.
Davey hadn’t known what to expect at the horse sanctuary, but it sure as hell hadn’t been mucking stalls. When Nora had invited him, he’d anticipated a tour, maybe some light office work or a request for a donation. In her defense, she had said that they would be volunteering.
He was shocked by the number of people who had showed up on a Wednesday afternoon to volunteer. They had come in all shapes and sizes, young and old, fit and not so fit. When the owners gave out work assignments, Davey had been disappointed that he, Nora, and Ben had been assigned to the barn. Others were haying the fields—a job Davey could have gotten into—painting fences and working in the office.
Nora, on the other hand, had been thrilled with their assignment, especially after discovering two horses in the barn. While Nora easily connected with the horses, Davey was more reserved. He had no idea how to interact with them. He tried to follow Nora’s lead, but she had an innate ability that he didn’t have. He extended his palm to the smaller horse but snapped it back when the damn horse tried to bite him. The larger horse gave him the evil eye, so he hadn’t bothered to try with her. Instead, he wandered around with Ben explaining what they’d be doing. A few minutes later, Nora called him over and the big horse which had become docile let him rub her nose.
After petting the horses, they got to work. When Nora put her mind, body, and spirit into cleaning out a stall, Davey realized how entitled and disconnected he was. His idea of volunteering was showing up at an event and getting his picture taken or simply writing a check. While he wanted to believe that his photo sometimes generated a few bucks and that the dollars he donated helped those in need, it wasn’t the same as what Nora did.
She poured her heart and soul into the things she cared about. She was also teaching Ben the importance of service, which Davey appreciated. Leaning on his pitchfork, he glanced at the next stall where Nora worked tirelessly. Not only had she already cleaned two stalls to his one, but as she cleaned, she spoke to the horses. The soft blowing of their noses and bumping their heads against her made him believe she was really connecting with them.
She sure was something.
On his other side, Ben whirled around in the straw, tossing bunches of it into the air. When he got tired of the straw dance, he discovered a litter of yellow kitties and crawled over to play with them.
Even though Ben was off school for a volunteer day, he hadn’t cleaned shit, literal or otherwise. Clearly, Ben had gotten his work ethic from his old man. Davey picked up his pitchfork and shifted into high gear.
“Hey, buddy.” He waved Ben over. “We’re here to work.” He nodded at Ben’s smaller pitchfork. “Give me a hand.”
When Ben ambled over and got to work, Davey smiled at him. “It feels good to work up a sweat, doesn’t it?” He chuckled at his statement, even though it was the god-honest truth. That kind of thinking hadn’t entered his mind before today, an epiphany courtesy of Nora.
When they’d finished cleaning the barn, the volunteers gathered in the community room to watch a video about the rescue center. Horse Haven was a small non-profit that rescued any horse in need, no questions asked. They relied on community volunteers and donations to keep their operation afloat.
The video included the animal’s stories. Some had been hurt, others abused. Some were retired or discarded race horses. There was a single cow on the property that Nora had been particularly drawn to.
When the video shared the cow’s story, Davey excused himself to use the restroom. He didn’t have the stomach for it. The poor cow had been mutilated—he had a big hole in his side—as part of some new farm process. But the cow’s operation had gone bad and he’d been dying a slow death when the owner of Horse Rescue had found him. After another operation by the co-founder of Horse Rescue, who was also a vet, the cow was slowly recovering.
As Davey lingered around at the urinal waiting for the cow scene to finish, a swell of anxiety smacked him in the head. After they finished up here, they were driving to Fallsdale to meet AJ who was in town visiting his cousin. Davey and AJ had agreed to meet at Rubio’s, a steakhouse.
What the hell had he been thinking? Nora and Ben didn’t eat steak, and after today, he wasn’t sure he could either. Damn it, he needed to start paying attention to food options for the two of them. He dawdled long enough to miss the rest of the video. When he returned, the owners were wrapping up by thanking the volunteers.
The day had been a humbling experience. It made him want to get out more and really volunteer like they had done today. He’d also gained a new respect and compassion for animals. Before Nora, he’d never considered that large animals were sometimes abused or abandoned. Nor had he ever thought about the source of the food on his plate.
He loitered in the back for another minute as he studied Nora. She’d just worked her ass off, yet her body was relaxed, her features animated, her smile pure contentment. She was in her element here. He could envision her running a place like this one day, with him and Ben helping out.
He approached Nora with admiration and a little awe. He hung out with her as she talked with the owners and he offered to donate a few autographed pictures to be raffled during Horse Haven’s upcoming silent auction. He also ended up writing a check.
After the conversation wrapped up, he took Ben to the men’s room to clean up and change while Nora headed to the ladies’ room. Then they walked toward the truck together, but Nora stopped part-way there.
“Give me a few minutes,” she said, then circled back to the pasture to say goodbye to the cow. The animal must have been nearly two thousand pounds but Nora waltzed into the field fearlessly. The big black and white creature ambled right
up to her and let her stroke his head.
As Nora talked with the cow, Davey took in the farm. Horses grazed in a large pasture while chickens wandered about pecking at bugs. He drew in the scent of fresh cut hay intermingled with the fragrance of sweet wildflowers. Similar to his place, the sanctuary was impossibly calm, the only sounds were those from nature. Birds chirping, bees buzzing, horsetails swishing. An owl hooting in the distance, wind-chimes ringing in the breeze.
When he’d lived in Charlotte, he had never missed the country. Maybe because moving there had been his escape from his father’s alcoholic ways. But now that he’d moved back to Serenity, he couldn’t imagine not returning to his tranquil farm in between races to restore and reenergize. And, to be close to Ben and Nora.
In the pasture, Nora continued to rub the cow. Eventually, she kissed him on the nose and then made her way back.
Afterward, they headed to Fallsdale to meet AJ. Pulling into the parking lot, Davey passed by the sign which advertised the best steak east of Omaha. He puffed out his cheeks as he parked, then got out of the truck and jogged over to open Nora’s door. As Ben hopped out of the back, Davey took Nora’s hand and helped her out.
She glanced at the restaurant sign, then shifted her gaze toward him. “Anything here for Ben and me to eat?”
“Yeah, sure.” At least Davey hoped there was. He’d eaten at Rubio’s before, but he’d always ordered steak so the hell if he knew what else they offered. He gave her a half-smile. “We’ll look at the menu once we’re inside and if you don’t like it, we’ll go somewhere else, okay?”
Nora flashed him a warm smile that did something to his gut. He wondered if he was in over his head. Every time he was with Nora, he fell for her a little more. His old MO would have been to run for the hills, but that wasn’t what he wanted now. He’d never felt this way before and wasn’t sure how to handle it. The uncertainty made him anxious, but he pushed it aside. You got her to go out with you again, he reminded himself, just enjoy it.
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