He closed his eyes and attempted to visualize Concordia to draw on her calming nature. But it was Ben he saw in his mind’s eye. Ben attempting a brave face even as his lower lip quivered and his eyes turned large and misty. Guilt swamped Davey over the pain and disappointment he had caused his son. And it wasn’t just the field trip. He had missed every Little League baseball game since opening day in early March. He had also missed parent-teacher conferences and the school’s science fair. The list went on and on.
He reflected back to his childhood. Even though his dad had been a piss poor father in a lot of ways, he’d been there when it came to racing. He had been there for Davey at every single race and it had given him stability, confidence, and a sense of belonging in the world.
Then there was Cruz. Throughout Davey’s life, Cruz had always put him first and not just with racing. He remembered the time that Cruz had given up a fishing vacation so he could attend a school ceremony where Davey had been recognized for his grades.
He wanted to be there for Ben in the same way that Cruz had been there for him. He didn’t want to choose work over his son.
But you’re a NASCAR driver, his mind challenged. You need the funding, logic said. You’re famous, his ego put in. And you’re on track to win it all this season.
But winning it all no longer held the same exhilaration.
Cruz had told him that there’s always a choice. As the plane landed in Atlanta, Davey made his. He wasn’t going to Denver tonight. He was going back to Knoxville so he could make good on his promise to his son.
Davey had shocked Nora—in the best of ways—when he had shown up on her doorstep at 7:15 that morning ready to accompany Ben on his field trip. He had invited her to meet him and Ben for dinner afterward and she had reluctantly agreed. It was the right thing to do; she and Davey needed to maintain a friendly relationship for Ben’s sake. But none of that lessened the nerves poking at her insides as she drove toward Romano’s Pizzeria.
Her feelings for Davey hadn’t changed over the last twenty-four hours. If anything, they had grown stronger. She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him, especially after he had cancelled his trip to Denver, choosing Ben over his sponsor.
Pulling into the pizzeria’s parking lot, she let out a huff of frustration. Underneath her intense feelings, they still had the same problem. Whether it was Outdoor America or Davey’s next sponsor, she would cause nothing but trouble for him.
Davey and Ben were already seated when she stepped inside the eatery. When Davey’s gaze connected with hers, a flash of unwanted memories flooded her brain. His kind words, his affectionate looks, the magical nights they had spent in each other’s arms.
Ben raced over to greet her. “The field trip was so awesome!” He threw his arms around her waist.
“I’m glad you had fun.” She hugged Ben, and then followed him to their corner table.
“Hi, Davey.” When she met his gaze, guilt slapped at her over the deep hurt in his eyes.
He rose and pulled her into a hug. His arms were warm and strong, familiar and comforting, and the embrace ended far too soon.
“Dad, Dad!” Ben bounced up and down in his seat. “Show Aunt Nora our pictures.”
Davey slid Ben a smile. “You got it, buddy, but let’s order first.”
They ordered and retrieved drinks from the self-service fountain. After they were settled at the table, Davey pulled out his phone.
“Ooh, ooh, show Aunt Nora the one of us on the train,” Ben said. “It was so steep. Like this!” He raised his hand straight up in the air.
Laughing, Davey leaned toward her with his phone. “It was a 72 percent grade.”
In the picture, Davey and Ben both sported wide smiles. “It looks like you had a good time,” she said, studying the expression of sheer joy on her little guy’s face.
“Uh-huh.” Ben slurped his drink, then gave her a recap of what they’d done, what they’d seen, and what they had eaten in speed-talk mode. Incline Railway. Lookout Mountain. Civil War battle sites. Pretzels, salad, and ice cream. As Ben chitchatted, Davey scooted his chair close to her and attempted to flip through the pictures keeping up with Ben’s commentary.
“Slow down, buddy.” Davey nudged Ben playfully. “I can’t keep up.”
Ben slurped more soda. “You gotta flip faster.”
“Why don’t you come over here?” Davey waved Ben over. “Then you can narrate each picture.”
Ben squeezed in between Nora and Davey and offered details about each picture. They had just looked at the last one when their pizzas arrived.
Nora appreciated that Davey had come home to go on this trip with Ben, especially since it would probably cost him a sponsorship that he desperately needed. She touched a hand to his arm. “Thanks for going on the trip with Ben.”
Davey nodded. “We had fun, didn’t we champ?”
Ben bobbed his head up and down enthusiastically.
Davey gave a slice of pizza to Ben, then plated a vegan slice for her. As he slid it toward her, his hand brushed against her arm. Her breath clogged in her chest, heavy with affection, desire, and an unfathomable hurt. She let out a quiet exhale. It was going to be a long night.
“Aunt Nora.” Ben tugged on her arm. “We forgot to show you the barn pictures.”
Nora tipped her head as Davey pulled out his phone.
“When we got back we took pictures with Concordia, Chance, and the pigs,” Ben said, stuffing in a mouthful of pizza.
She took Davey’s phone and scrolled through the pictures. Ben with Concordia, Ben with Ford and Bristol. “Nice pictures.” Next was a selfie of Ben, then Davey and Ben in the field with Chance. Both were smiling, but Davey’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. She could feel his pain through the photo.
She passed the phone back, avoiding his gaze. He was a good guy and she hated causing him such pain. But she had little choice. Davey still had sponsor issues, now more than ever.
When Ben pushed his plate aside, Davey reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of change. Ben was already out of his seat before Davey could ask if he wanted to play arcade games.
Ben took the handful of quarters. “Wanna play with me?” he asked Davey.
Play with him, Nora silently pleaded. She wasn’t sure she had the strength to fight off her feelings for him one on one, especially after what he’d done for Ben today.
“Not this time, buddy,” Davey responded. “I still have pizza to eat.”
She twirled a strand of hair around her finger as anxiety washed through her.
Ben shrugged. “ ‘Kay.” She waited for Ben to ask her, but he didn’t. Instead, he raced toward the games in the opposite corner of the restaurant, leaving her alone with Davey.
Davey slid his chair over until they were so close that their arms were touching. Shivers rippled through her body and the temperature in the room spiked about fifty degrees. Unable to handle the heat, she shifted to face him, moving her arm away from his. In doing so, her knees brushed alongside his which caused another wave of shivery heat.
“How are you?” he asked as she broke into a sweat.
“Good. Fine.” Jeez, she really needed to shut up. But in her heat-induced, light-headed state, she rambled on. “Really good.”
He linked his hands with hers. “I’ve been pretty miserable.”
She sighed. After all they had been to each other, he deserved the truth. “Yeah, me too.”
He lit up at her confession. She should pull her hands back so as not to give him the wrong impression, but the familiarity and all that it implied held her captive. Resigned, she soaked in the warm, tingly comfort.
“Any chance you’d come to Talladega with me tomorrow?” he asked, the hope in his voice heartbreaking.
She wanted to, but it would be way too painful for both of them. She shook her head. “I can’t.”
The hope in his eyes vanished but he gave her a nod. She appreciated that he’d accepted her decision instead of p
ushing her.
“Do you and Ben want to come back to my place for the night?” he asked. “You can sleep in any of the bedrooms.” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face which caused a passionate fluttering in her belly. She wasn’t sure how much closeness she could take. “If you come over, you could spend time with the animals.”
She had visited with the animals earlier when he and Ben had been in Chattanooga. Her plan, at least for the next little while, was to visit the animals when Davey was away. It would save them both a lot of heartache.
When she lifted her gaze to meet his, desire sparked in his eyes, but there was something else too. An emotion so deep and so powerful she would have thought it was love had she not known better. Regardless, it moved her so profoundly that she found herself slowly inching toward him.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught the end of an Outdoor America advertisement on the television. She thought about the companies that had sponsored Davey and the problems she had caused for him. Even though Mr. Steak and OA had dropped him, he needed to find a new sponsor and it would likely be more of the same. She snapped back in her seat, pulling her hand with her. “It’s not a good idea.”
His body sagged but once again he nodded instead of pressuring her.
“I’ll try to find another place for them,” she said, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers. She didn’t want to because the animals loved it at Davey’s and she wasn’t sure she could afford another place. But she didn’t want to take advantage of his generosity. Besides, someday when he started dating again his new girlfriend probably wouldn’t want to be around a bunch of farm animals. Her heart ached at the thought of him with another woman.
“The animals can stay at my place,” he said quietly.
That would be nice. She shoved at her hair. It was very nice, but it wasn’t right.
“I can hear the wheels spinning in your head.” He took her hand again and she allowed it. She shouldn’t have, but she needed the comfort. “Let me do this one thing.” He gently rubbed his thumb on the top of her hand. “I’ve fallen for the animals too. I like having them at my place.”
His words brought about relief so great that her body trembled.
He put his hands on her arms. “You okay?”
She nodded, but her body might have been shaking from his simple touch. She had a strong urge to throw her arms around his neck and burrow her head in his chest. It took every ounce of her self-control to refrain.
He rested his forehead against hers. Even though she should have pulled back, she didn’t. She only had so much willpower.
“I’m trying to give you the space you need,” he said, his voice thick and unsteady. “But know this. I’m going to keep on trying.” He clasped his hands around hers. “I’m going to keep trying until I convince you that we were meant to be.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Davey pulled into the pits after kicking ass in the qualifying run at Talladega. He parked, hopped out of his Ford, and was tugged into a hug by Cruz.
“Nice going,” Cruz said. “You’ve got the pole unless Ted beats your time.”
Feeling his oats, Davey snickered. “That’s not likely.”
“Nope.” Cruz grinned as the rest of Davey’s crew gathered around him with congratulations and high-fives.
They all made their way toward the garage together. Davey’s team had been amazing over the last week. Their dedication and support meant the world to him, especially given the chaos associated with Team Johnson. They had no major sponsor and the media was still going crazy with articles about him. Some of the press had been positive, some negative. But every article he had skimmed had speculated on how long they could make it without a major sponsor.
In spite of the media craze and the uncertainty over sponsorship, he was confident in the decision he had made. He knew in his heart that picking Ben over Outdoor America had been the right choice. Even so, he worried about his team. They were hard-working, talented people who didn’t deserve the media shit-storm or the uncertainty over their future.
He fretted for them, but it seemed to be for naught. Every team member had rallied around him. They’d applauded him for putting his family first. Wade had assured him that he could find new sponsors. At least half of Davey’s team had told him they could go without pay for a period of time. Something he had no intention of doing, even though he appreciated the sentiment. None of his crew had blinked an eye when he’d had his Ford repainted to cover the Outdoor America logo. The front hood was now a naked brown with a large white 36 in the center.
In the garage, Wade patted him on the back. “You got the pole.” His manager gave him a big grin. “Keep racing like that and we’ll have a new sponsor in no time.”
“Congrats,” Billy said. “Way to flip the haters the bird.”
Davey laughed. His team was the best. “I hope you guys know how much I appreciate you.”
They all gathered for their normal pre-race meeting. As Cruz and Billy reviewed plans for the car in tomorrow’s race, Davey did his mental pre-race preparation. After, he glanced around the garage. It was familiar, yet there had been some changes too. He used to have a banner reminding him to stay focused, the motto his dad had drummed into him. Last month, he had gotten rid of it. While staying focused on the track was a no brainer, using that philosophy to govern his life no longer served him.
He had learned that he could have it all. He just needed to balance his priorities and make the right choices, like putting his son first and finding sponsors that aligned with his values.
His cell rang just as the meeting ended. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at caller ID. Nora. His mood lifted at the sight of her name and he shuffled into the corner for privacy. “Hey, Nora.” He was thrilled that she had reached out to him. His day was getting better and better.
It took a long moment before she spoke. When he heard a loud sniffle, his heart jumped into his throat. “Nora, what’s wrong?”
“It’s Ben,” she said, in between sobs.
His chest stuttered and his gaze lifted in search of Cruz. He must have looked as panicked as he felt because as soon as he caught Cruz’s attention, his friend hustled over.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice hitching as Cruz approached.
“Ben…hit in head…” He could only make out every few words because Nora was sobbing. “Baseball…hospital.”
Fear clawed up his spine. What the hell was going on? He put the phone on speaker so Cruz could listen in. “Is Ben okay?”
There was a shuffling, a quiet exchange, then his mother’s voice. “Hi, Davey.”
“What happened?” Fear twisted in his gut as a feeling of total helplessness engulfed him. It was like driving through a ten-car pileup with no spotter. “Is Ben okay?”
“He got hit in the head by a line drive at his baseball game,” she said. “He’s in the hospital.”
“Oh my God.” Davey pressed a hand to his thumping heart.
Cruz squeezed Davey’s shoulder. “Hi, honey,” he said into the phone. “How’s Ben now?”
“He’s conscious and hanging in there,” she said. Relief washed through Davey. Conscious was good. “Give me a minute.” She spoke quietly with someone else and then returned. “They think he has a concussion, but they’re running tests.” Davey exchanged a worried look with Cruz. “Nora and I have been trying to keep him awake.”
“I’m on my way.” Davey looked heavenward. “Tell Nora I’m coming, okay?”
After they hung up, he turned to Cruz. “We can probably rent a car and drive home quicker than we can fly.” He rolled his shoulders. “I can’t come back for tomorrow’s race. I need to be at home with Ben.”
“Give AJ a call,” Cruz suggested. “You can put him in the 36 tomorrow.” Davey brightened a little. That was a damn good idea. “I’ll find us a car,” Cruz said. “I’m sure Billy or Wade will lend us wheels so we don’t have to waste time renting.”
&n
bsp; Cruz stepped away, then turned back to Davey. “You’re doing the right thing. I’m proud of you.”
Nora made her way to the cafeteria to get some much needed black tea. She had left Steph with Ben to keep him awake. They’d been taking turns throughout the afternoon and it hadn’t been an easy task considering Ben was dead tired.
In the cafeteria, she fixed her tea, paid, and headed out clutching the Styrofoam cup like a prized jewel. She desperately needed the pick me up, not surprising given her stress over Ben’s condition.
She looked at the clock on the wall. Ben had gotten hit in the head at two o’clock and it was five now. Davey and Cruz had left Talladega at three. Since it was a five-hour drive, they wouldn’t arrive for another few hours.
She’d been shocked when Steph had told her that Davey was coming. He continued to surprise and impress her at every turn, choosing Ben over his sponsors and now, choosing him over a race. Davey had also surprised her by continuing to pursue her. He had been calling and texting her every day and sending flowers and care packages. The last shipment had been filled with organic large animal treats. She smiled into her cup. He sure knew the way to her heart.
She missed him like crazy and wished they could get back together. But he still had sponsor issues and would continue to have them as long as she was in his life. She would always be a detriment to his career because she wasn’t like the race fans who hunted, fished, and ate meat.
She took a couple of gulps of her hot drink, grateful for the energy boost. As she made her way around the corner, a familiar voice called out. “Cupcake, over here.”
Spinning around, her tea almost toppled. She caught it just in time, then raced over to her grandfather.
“Pap!” She dropped her cup on a nearby table and threw her arms around his neck. “I’m so happy to see you.”
He took her hand, picked up the cup, and led her to a table in the back corner. “I’m happy to see you too.” He held out a chair for her.
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