Satin Pleasures

by Karen Docter

  Her body shuddered beneath his hands, but he felt as though she’d stepped away from him into the ten-year-old nightmare. “I was nineteen when I set my heart on a red Porsche a college friend was selling. I spent weeks haranguing Dad about it, though I knew he didn’t have the money. He was already working two jobs to pay my tuition.

  “But I wouldn’t let up. I knew all I had to do was take him for a test drive, make him see how much I wanted it, and he’d whip out his wallet.”

  Dan hugged her when she stopped talking. Tess had bottled all this up for years and she had to get it all out or let it destroy her completely. “That’s not what happened, is it?”

  She went still, blanched. “He said no,” she whispered. “I began to argue with him. I didn’t see the car beyond him, bearing down on us.”

  Dan brushed the hair back from her face. “The accident was not your fault. Your only crime was being young and selfish, but that’s part of growing up. We all make those mistakes. Michael doesn’t blame you for any of it.”

  “I blame me. Maybe if I’d paid more attention I could have done something. Swerved. Sped up. Something!”

  “You have to let this go, Tess.”

  “I’ll let it go when Dad’s no longer in pain, when he can walk without something to prop him up.” Tess frowned. “What I don’t understand is why he wants to quit now, when he’s so close to being whole again.”

  Her father had accepted his limitations and was ready to move on with his life. He’d admitted as much to Dan. “Maybe he’s letting go of what he can’t change.”

  “This new procedure could have Dad back on his feet without canes by the end of the year.”

  “Or he could be back in a wheelchair without the hope of another surgery.”

  “He’s scared of losing what he’s gained?”

  Dan shook his head, only then realizing how close he’d gotten to the older man in those few hours of puttering around in the greenhouse. They’d forged a connection, with Tess at its center. “Your father’s more concerned with what will happen to you if it should fail.”

  Her chin lifted. “I have every confidence in Dr. Maxwell.”

  Dan wanted to shake her or kiss her senseless or both. Unable to stop himself, he kissed the stubborn lips so temptingly raised. When he drew back an eternity later, he smiled at her bemused expression.

  “Your confidence in this particular doctor isn’t the issue here,” he explained softly. “Your parents are worried about your emotional and physical wellbeing. The price you pay gets higher with each surgery and they don’t want you to pay it anymore.”

  Tess stepped away from him and ran a restive hand through her hair. “We’ve discussed this before, Dan. No matter what a person does, there’s a price to pay. I have no problem with the path I’ve chosen. Why can’t I make you see that?”

  He’d run out of arguments. Intent on calming his own irritation, he reached into his pocket to pull out the stress card he’d carried for the past year, until he loaned it to Tess. Inspecting the smooth surface, he realized there was one more argument at his command. He thrust the piece of plastic into Tess’s hand. “Hold this.”

  “I don’t—”

  Dan wrapped both of his hands around hers and stared resolutely into her eyes until she subsided. A full minute later, he pulled the card from her stiff fingers and glanced down at it. “It seems to me,” he murmured, tucking the card into her pants pocket without showing it to her, “there are several problems with the path you’ve chosen.”

  Chapter Nine

  Tess refused to check the color on the card, although it took more effort than she would admit to keep her hand from diving into her pocket. “I wish I knew what to say to make you understand my choices.”

  “I understand more than you think.”

  But, he didn’t agree. The words didn’t have to be spoken. Tess could read them in his eyes.

  She sighed. A year ago, Dan might have appreciated her singular purpose. Not now. Now, all his obligations were transitory and he seemed to like it that way. He’d come to San Francisco to help his family, but left himself the freedom to literally sail away whenever he wanted.

  It was a luxury she didn’t have, and never would. Her commitment to her parents was too deeply entrenched. Yes, she was tired. There were days she wanted to lay her mantle of responsibility down. But, some things couldn’t be changed by wishful thinking. Her painful past, her vow, and Dan’s lack of acceptance were only three of them.

  Saddened by the differences that couldn’t be bridged between her and Dan, Tess nevertheless made an effort to push her melancholy away. “Thanks for caring about what happens to me, Dan.” She smiled brightly, stroking her palm along his firm jaw. “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

  A sudden clamor from outside the house eliminated the need for a response. Tess jumped. “What is that?”

  Dan raked a hand through his hair. “Colby.”

  She smiled at the disgust in his voice. “It sounds more like a demolition crew.”

  “That’s Colby, my own personal demolition crew.” He winced when something banged sharply into the kitchen door. “The stupid dog’s tipped over the metal can that holds his food and he’s butting it against the door to get my attention.”

  “I’d say he’s far from stupid. That’s some trick.”

  Shaking his head, Dan grimaced. “You wouldn’t say that if you had to sweep up forty pounds of dog food every time he gets impatient.”

  “Wouldn’t it be easier to move the food?”

  “I don’t want bugs so I can’t move it inside and the garage isn’t convenient. It’s not usually a problem.” Another crash resounded against the house. “Except when he doesn’t get what he wants.”

  “And, he wants…?”

  “His walk on the beach. I gave him a rawhide chew to hold him, but I guess he’s finished.” He shrugged. “I’m going to have to take him. Want to come with us?”

  Thinking of her one experience with the dog on the bridge, she glanced at the door. “You don’t think he’s still hungry, do you?”

  “You don’t have to worry about Colby. Despite the racket outside, he’s harmless. He’s a pup, barely a year old.”

  “He’s a horse.”

  “Ah, but a gentle one.” He walked around the Spanish-tiled counter that bisected the living room and kitchen. Opening the stainless double doors on the refrigerator, he took out a package of cheese and waved it in the air. “Especially if you have Colby cheese in your hand. Want to make friends while I clean his latest mess?”

  Tess was game. Maybe. She hung back while Dan opened the door. The dog slunk through it and sat on his master’s boots, his massive head tucked between Dan’s legs. He whined what sounded like an elaborate apology, and then yelped when he spotted Tess across the room.

  The next few seconds flashed by in a blur of movement. Colby lunged through Dan’s legs, knocking him off balance. Dan ended up on his backside, cursing a blue streak. Tess laughed so hard she forgot to be frightened when the dog skidded to a screeching halt in front of her.

  She carefully held out a good-sized chunk of cheese. Colby gobbled it off her open palm with such speed she wondered if he’d tasted it. His weight heavy against the front of her thighs, his dark eyes shifted soulfully between her face and the package in her other hand. He whined.

  “You’re a big baby with no manners at all, aren’t you, Colby?” Tess glanced across the floor at Dan. “Let me guess. He’s named after the cheese.”

  He nodded and rose to his feet. “Until I rescued him from the pound,” he explained, “I’d never had a pet before. I turned my back on him for two seconds and, before I knew it, he’d decimated a pound of Colby I had out for my hamburgers.”

  “Poor baby!” She chuckled. “I don’t know who I feel sorrier for, Colby and his beleaguered stomach or you and your naked hamburgers.”

  Dan approached to take the cheese from her hand and drop a lingering kiss on her surprised lips. A
n eternity passed before he lifted his head. “You should do that more often,” he said roughly.

  The shocking sensations zipping through her bloodstream must have short-circuited her brain cells because she blurted her thoughts out loud. “I’d become a babbling idiot if I kissed you more often.”

  The humor in his green eyes was infectious. “I meant you should laugh.”

  “Oh.” There was nothing like telling a man he was the hottest thing to come along since fire only to find out she wasn’t the one fanning the flame!

  “What would you say if I told you I go a little crazy, too...when I’m not kissing you?”

  The candid desire in his expression sparked delicious memories of their night together. A night she didn’t dare repeat unless she was sure she could walk away again. After what happened this morning, she’d never be sure again. Oh, she’d walked away. But, she’d turned right around and invited him to join her. Not smart.

  “I’d say we both need a little help.”

  His knuckles traced a caress over her cheek. “I think it may be too late.”

  Her hands spread wide over his chest she measured the pounding cadence of his heart. Or was it hers? “Speak for yourself.” There was no question it was too late for her.

  “I am,” he admitted with a wry smile.

  He drew closer, so close his heat burrowed beneath her skin and set her insides ablaze. He was going to kiss her again. Suddenly as impatient as Colby, she bit her bottom lip and waited with anticipation.

  Something butted into her stomach, forcing her to stumble back. Dan caught her arm. “Colby! Stop that!”

  Tess stared at the German shepherd, planted between her and Dan like a huge, canine doorstop. His tongue lolled from the corner of his mouth. “Do you think he wants more cheese?”

  “I think it’s something else. Watch.” Dan stepped around his pet, drew her into his arms, and kissed her.

  Dissolving completely under the incendiary kiss, it took Tess awhile to notice the dog had again wedged between their bodies. “Stupid dog!”

  “There’s nothing stupid about that dog.” Dan laughed. “He separated you from the competition. I told you he likes you.”

  Tess discovered she liked Colby, too. The dog didn’t stray far from her in the next hour as they frolicked on the private beach below the house. By the time she fell, laughing, into a heap, she’d forgiven the dog for cutting Dan’s kiss short. The pockets of her rolled-up red, linen slacks were filled with sand, her hair a tangled mess, but she felt lighter in spirit than she’d felt in ages.

  Dan extended a hand to help her up. They walked the strip of sand that delineated dry land from a shoreline under siege of crashing waves. Tess noticed he’d placed himself on the sea side, leaving her above the waterline where she felt the most comfortable. It felt natural to have her hand tucked into his large palm. Too natural.

  She watched a seagull gliding among the air currents so she didn’t have to think about the tingles of awareness traveling up her arm. “If I lived here, I’d never get anything done. How do you force yourself to go to work every morning?”

  “At first, it was difficult.” Dan squeezed her fingers. “It’s not so bad now. I’m enjoying the work at A Touch of Silk & Satin, but I have this to look forward to after a long day, too.”

  “You’re saying you found part of that balance you’re looking for.”

  Dan threw a piece of driftwood for Colby to chase before he answered. “I guess I have.”

  Tess’s pulse skipped when she remembered the rest of his prescription for balance. “Of course, you still need to find that wife and two kids.”

  He laughed. ”I’ll get those, too. Give me time. I’ve only been at this a couple of weeks!”

  Her heart ached at the thought of any other woman coming under the influence of his gorgeous green eyes and drugging kisses. The woman didn’t stand a chance! “What do you think she’ll be like?”

  Dan stopped and studied her face. “She’ll be warm and smart and imaginative. She’ll care deeply about her family and play as hard as she works.” He pushed away a tendril of hair the breeze tossed across her eyes. “And, she won’t be afraid to tackle anything.”

  His woman would be everything Tess wasn’t. Oh, she cared about her parents and she had her share of intelligence. But she didn’t know the first thing about how to play or fit a relationship, let alone a family, into the tight structure of her life. “I hope you find—”

  Icy water unexpectedly swirled around her legs and sucked the sand out from under her bare feet. Squealing with alarm, she threw her arms around Dan’s neck. “Help!”

  He wrapped his arms around her shivering body. “Don’t panic, honey.” He lifted her slightly off the beach. “One of the waves came up too far. It’s okay. You’re fine.”

  The water surged around her ankles, but Dan felt warm and secure and safe. His assurances crooned through her like a balm. Tess’s fright drained away on the last of the retreating foamy water, leaving her feeling terribly inadequate. “I’m sorry. It’s absurd to get so scared.”

  He shook his head. “Everyone’s scared of something. You were startled. If you’d known the wave was coming you wouldn’t have reacted the same way.”

  It was one thing to attack the water in a pool, with lifeguards and flotation devices, but the ocean was another story altogether. “Wanna bet?”

  Gazing into her eyes, a thoughtful frown creased Dan’s forehead. “Yeah. I’ll bet you a steak dinner you can face the surf.”

  The bet was ridiculous. “What am I betting?”

  “Trust.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He shifted her in his arms, but didn’t set her on her feet. “You have to trust yourself.”

  “I trust you.” She’d entrusted this man with her body, with major portions of her heart.

  Dan smiled that crooked way that made her pulse race. “And I trust you...so, we’ll do this together.” He lowered her until her feet settled again on the cold, wet sand. “Now, I want you to take a step forward for each one I take back.”

  Panic gnawed at the edges of her mind. “I don’t—”

  “I know you can do this,” he said softly. Clasping her cold hands in his, he took a step backward.

  Tess held her breath and followed him. One step, then another. On the third step, she stopped. The waves building behind Dan got visibly higher, drawing back, back, until whitecaps formed and broke on the return sweep. “Don’t let go!”

  His grip tightened. “I’m not about to let go of you, now.”

  Mesmerized by the intent look in his eyes, Tess grew calm. She tilted her head to watch the wave tumble toward them with terrifying speed, then break against their lower legs in a powerful spray of water and foam and churning sand. She gasped as another wave quickly followed the first one, swelling above her knees.

  Something built inside Tess, but it wasn’t fear. It wasn’t panic, either. It was exhilaration and excitement and half-forgotten joy. “Before I got scared, I remember playing in the surf until my lips turned blue and my teeth chattered. I used to love this.” She shouted with glee and threw her arms around Dan’s neck. “I’d forgotten. Thank you. Thank you so much!”

  Dan enveloped her in a hug, turning her around and around in the retreating surf. “You did it, honey, not me. I knew you could.” He grinned.

  In that instant, Tess fell impossibly in love with Dan McDonald. Terrified by the implications of her stupidity, her fingers trembled against his face. She whispered against his mouth. “I like my steak rare.”

  ***

  The sunset several hours later was spectacularly painted against the backdrop of an approaching storm. Satiated by a surfeit of food and wine she hardly tasted, Tess sat tucked between Dan’s raised knees on one of his lounge deck chairs and watched the distant clouds change colors like a kaleidoscope in a curious child’s hand. Up close, the storm would be far less appealing, but it would be hours yet before it reached land.


  For now, the electrifying smell of ozone and salt tantalized her nose. The waves that had crashed upon the beach below earlier seemed to have grown quiet in anticipation of the fury to be unleashed sometime in the night. Expectation hung in the atmosphere around her, while warmth seeped into her body from the man behind her.

  How was she going to let go of Dan tonight? The day had been filled with excitement and discovery, confusion and trauma, and through it all he’d stood firm nearby. He’d picked up the pieces. He’d given her beauty and humor, and yes, love. She’d fallen in love with a man she couldn’t keep. She should be running as fast as her shaky legs could carry her.

  Her heart, however, was firmly in charge tonight. “Dan?”

  “Mmm?” He rubbed his cheek against her hair.

  Heat unfurled low in her belly. “Will you make love to me?”

  He nipped her earlobe between his teeth, and then sucked the sting away. “Isn’t that what I’m doing?”

  The gentle tugs clouded her mind. “Sweet mercy,” she murmured. “I hope so. Are you feeling what I’m feeling?”

  Dan turned her in his arms, aligning her softness along his reclining body. He drew in a harsh breath when she wriggled on top of him. “Honey, mercy has little to do with the way I feel every time I touch you.”

  “Oh.”

  With a low chuckle, he threaded his fingers through her hair, holding it back so he could look at her in the fading light. “Is that all you can say? Oh?”

  The laughter in his eyes melted her insides. “Oh, and would you hurry up and kiss me?”

  He tugged her head down and whispered her own words against her lips. “Sweet mercy, but I love a bossy woman.”

  His mouth consumed her lips, as her heart consumed the sentiment. It was ridiculous. But she desperately wanted to believe that he loved her, not bossy women in general. Then, she lost her power to think in the pleasurable task of kissing him back.

  She opened her mouth and tentatively rimmed his lips with her tongue. He tasted so deliciously wicked she went back for more. She dipped inside. Their tongues mated.