Satin Pleasures

by Karen Docter

  Somehow, the painful things he’d thrown at her that night didn’t seem to hurt any more. “I wasn’t willing to change my life to accommodate the man I was supposed to marry. I chose my job and my parents over my fiancé.”

  “A man who loves you wouldn’t ask you to choose.”

  “But he had every right to—”

  “It’s hard enough to maintain balance in a marriage without adding unequal expectations.” Dan frowned. “No one has the right to demand more than you are willing to give.”

  “That’s the point. I’ve nothing left. You’ve met my parents. You see the hours I keep. Last weekend, I-I behaved atrociously and—”

  She ducked her head. “What man in his right mind wants a woman who drops him like a hot potato when she’s late for work?”

  “A man with a forgiving soul and a healthy ego?” Dan tipped her chin so she could see the wry humor in his green eyes. “Honey, I know what it’s like to be that driven, that compartmentalized. Until I chucked it all, I never looked outside the parameters of the life I’d created.”

  Tess was dismayed to feel the sting of tears. “I can’t chuck it all. Too many people depend on me.”

  “No one’s asked you to, Tess.” Dan sat back in his seat. “All I want is a little of your time.”

  Her laughter was self-conscious. “We both know how fanatical I am about time, don’t we?”

  He grimaced, and then chuckled. “Yeah, I’d say some of your bad habits need more work than others.” He studied her for several long, endless moments. Then, he held out his hand. “I’ve missed you, Tess.”

  Those four words soaked into her like rain on a parched desert as she allowed him to pull her between his legs. “I’ve missed you, too. Can we go back to square one and start over?”

  “No.” He locked his hands behind her back. “One thing I’ve learned this past year is never look back and never settle for less than what I want, once I figure out what it is that I want.”

  Uh-oh. Here come the demands. “And, that is...?”

  “I want your undivided attention for the next two months so we can explore what’s happening between us.”

  “I’ve already told you—”

  Dan scowled until she subsided. “Before I go back to Chicago for my mother’s wedding, I will teach you all I know about relaxing and making time for yourself. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll have the stress card playing the blues for you,” he held up his hand over her open mouth, “without giving up any activities you feel strongly about.”

  “What do you expect in return?”

  “When we’re together, it’s only you and me. Work and troubles and worries are left at the office. The only parameters to this deal are the time you can spare and my departure for Chicago. When I get back...well, we’ll deal with that when the time comes.”

  Tess couldn’t find fault with his offer, no matter how she looked at it. It was the thought of his leaving that tipped the scales. “You have my undivided attention right now.”

  ***

  The next two months passed in a hazy blur for Tess as she got to know Dan better. She was shocked to hear how close to death he’d come when he was ill. His girlfriend, Charlotte, hadn’t softened the blow either when she left him for the corner office he’d nearly killed himself over.

  It was easier to understand his desire for a more balanced lifestyle. Although, after hearing the story, she wasn’t sure he hadn’t exchanged one compulsion for another. He’d gone from all work to all play. He hadn’t truly balanced anything before his arrival in San Francisco, in her opinion, but she never said so. It was one of those items she tried to leave behind at the office when they were together.

  It was harder than she expected to separate work issues completely out of their conversations. Dan kept busy running his lingerie store and overseeing the building of a second store across the Golden Gate Bridge in Marin County.

  One day, Dan asked about her father’s comment about her dreams of expanding the shopping center when she first hired on at Thorgrams. She shared her worry about the nebulous rumors about the rival investment firm, rumors, she was thankful to note, that eventually faded.

  She was working long hours to make sure her marketing program ran smoothly. It was too soon to tell if her efforts were making a difference but, if the increased foot traffic was any indication, the quarterly sales figures would rise as well.

  She became more and more confident her promotion was within her grasp—which was a good thing since her one attempt to discuss the surgery with her father came to nothing. Once she realized he was reluctant to pursue the subject—she suspected he didn’t want to admit he’d changed his mind again—she put it from her mind and worked harder to ensure her promotion.

  Dan saw to it she played as hard as she worked. They began to eat meals together, working their way through every eatery in the mall for lunch. Dinner—and breakfast—were shared at Tess’s apartment or on Dan’s deck. The two of them joined her parents every Sunday for brunch. More often than not, Dan and Michael would disappear into the greenhouse while Tess helped her mother put the finishing touches on the meal.

  Tess was also drawn into Dan’s boat preparations, although the time they spent there together was bittersweet. Once he explained his plans for a fishing charter, she realized his commitment to the San Francisco area was on shakier ground than she suspected. Although Dan never actually said he was leaving, she knew the warmer waters further down the coast were more conducive to what he had in mind.

  Tess was amazed at how much difference the little things Dan taught her made to her life. Her headaches and stomach problems eased, and she accomplished more in less time. The first time she turned the stress card blue she was so excited she called Dan at the boutique. He’d shown up at her office after her staff had gone home for the day, carrying a picnic basket and a bottle of champagne. They’d closed the door, had an impromptu picnic on the plush carpeting in her office, and made love to celebrate.

  They made love at every opportunity and their passion never peaked. Each time seemed more satisfying and more intense than the last. Once or twice, after a particularly frantic coupling, Tess wondered if Dan was as desperate as she to fit a lifetime of loving into those two months. She knew he had something on his mind, but they never discussed whatever was bothering him.

  As she never discussed her feelings. Her love, her need for Dan, grew until she couldn’t imagine a future without him in it. But, she was too afraid to tell him. As long as she didn’t say the words, she could hold them close. Protect them.

  And then, it was too late to say anything. The morning Dan was leaving for his mother’s wedding arrived.

  Tess awakened in her bed with the sensual warmth of Dan’s mouth on her breast, dragging her down into the sweet pool of heat only he seemed to generate. “Sweet mercy, but I love the way you wake me up. You’re better than a coffee fix. My own special blend.”

  His lips curved around her nipple. “No caffeine either.”

  Tess wove her fingers through his hair. “I don’t miss the nasty stuff,” she breathed between tugs. Not with the exhilaration zipping through her bloodstream whenever he touched her. “You realize, of course, in making me give up my coffee, you’ve created a monster.”

  He nibbled his way up her neck. "Such a delectable monster, too.”

  How was she going to survive an entire week without this man, let alone the rest of her life? Thankful for her wild impulse to take the morning off, she pulled him up for a kiss that only left her aching for more. “What time is your flight again?”

  “Ten-thirty.” Dan lifted his head and checked the time. “I have to be at the airport in a couple of hours.”

  He framed her face and studied her like he was memorizing her features. “Honey, we need to talk before I leave.”

  No! Tess didn’t want to hear whatever he had to say, not while she was naked and vulnerable, and so damned needy. She dragged herself out of bed. “You grab
the first shower while I make breakfast. We’ll talk while we eat.” Assuming she could get anything past the boulder in her throat.

  She dashed out of the bedroom before he could object. She’d already mixed the pancake batter by the time she finally heard the shower turn on. Left with nothing to do until Dan made an appearance, she took the time to listen to her phone messages from the previous day.

  There were four. One sales call, one from her parents, and two from the bookkeeper at Dr. Maxwell’s office. Deciding to return her parents’ call later in the afternoon, she dialed her father’s surgeon.

  “Miss Emory? This is Gina. Thanks for returning my call. I’m sorry I bothered you at home but I know how busy you are at the office. I needed to know how you want me to handle the last check you sent.”

  Tess leaned against the kitchen counter. “Put it on my father’s account, as usual.”

  “You want me to hold it with the others?”

  Others? “How many checks are we talking about?”

  A rustling sound in Tess’s ear told her the woman was flipping through some papers. “Including this check, there’s four.” She rattled the numbers off along with the dollar amounts.

  Nearly five thousand dollars! A basketball-sized wad of foreboding took up residence in the pit of her stomach. She suddenly wished she’d taken the time to reconcile the stack of bank statements sitting on her desk in the other room but, between her hours at work and the time she’d stolen to be with Dan, she simply hadn’t gotten around to it. “We’re talking about the payments for the last four months?”

  The bookkeeper sounded relieved Tess knew what she was talking about. “I’m afraid they’ll get misplaced if they sit in the folder any longer. If it’s okay now, I’ll void them and send them back with the check for the balance of your dad’s account.”

  “The doctor doesn’t require the deposit anymore?”

  “If your father had waited another couple of months to cancel his surgery, there might have been a problem with any kind of refund. But, with this much advance notice, I can refund everything but the five hundred dollar cancellation fee.”

  Tess swallowed the acid threatening to choke her. “He canceled his surgery?”

  “Yes, on the fifth of March.”

  There had to be some mistake. “I’m a little confused. If he cancelled four months ago, why did you wait so long to call? It’s the end of June. Shouldn’t you have contacted me when you received my April payment?”

  “Your father instructed me to hold the checks against the possibility he’d change his mind. He said he’d get back to me but then I had a family emergency and left town for six weeks, and I’m just now getting caught up. I’m sorry I—”

  “I need to get back to you,” Tess said, interrupting her. “Can you sit on this a few more days?”

  “I guess so. But I do want to get this off my desk as soon as possible, so could you call me no later than the middle of next week?”

  Her heart skipped a beat before she could form her next question. “Uh...one more thing. Can the surgery still be rescheduled?”

  “Dr. Maxwell’s approval wasn’t withdrawn, but I can’t promise you the same appointment date. Our surgery schedule is pretty tight and—”

  Again, Tess broke in. “I’ll call you back.” She cut the woman off in mid-goodbye with a push of her finger.

  She was shaking, badly, and needed to take two deep breaths before she could think again. “Why, Dad?” she whispered.

  Desperately needing an answer, she dialed her parents’ number only to discover her father wasn’t home.

  “He’s gone out, honey,” her mother explained.

  “Out? By himself?” Tess was beyond her quota of surprises today. Michael Emory seldom strayed far from his greenhouse... and never alone.

  “Of course not.” Irene laughed. “George Booker picked him up half an hour ago.”

  “George Booker?”

  Noticing the thunk of the water pipes that indicated the end of Dan’s shower, Tess’s attention was momentarily diverted.

  Irene’s voice droning on in excitement dragged her back to the one-sided phone conversation. “…and it’s big enough for what we have in mind. Your dad is ecstatic about the whole operation.”

  Tess rubbed a hand over her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom, but I missed something. Are you talking about Dad’s operation? The billing clerk at his surgeon’s office called and said Dad cancelled it.”

  There was a long pause on the other end of the phone line. “Oh, dear. He said he was going to explain everything.”

  Stunned to have her worst fears confirmed, she couldn’t control her tongue. “It’s been four months, Mom. When do you think Dad should have told me, the day of his surgery as they put him under the anesthetic?”

  “I’m not talking about your dad...oh, dear.”

  Her mother sounded so distressed, Tess’s skin grew cold. “Assume for a minute, I have no clue what’s going on. Who was supposed to have told me whatever it is I’m supposed to know?”

  “Dan said...we knew you’d be a little upset...oh, dear.”

  “Mom, please stop ‘oh, dearing’ and tell me what Dan was supposed to tell me.”

  It took a little prompting for her mother to tell her what she wanted to know. Once she’d finished, Tess knew all too much about what Dan had neglected to tell her. About her father’s cancelled surgery. About who George Booker was. About why she’d be more than a little upset.

  She could have done without also knowing what it felt like to have her heart break into a million aching pieces when she hung up the telephone and looked directly into Dan’s wary sea green eyes.

  Chapter Twelve

  Dan stepped into the kitchen, his heart sinking into his boots. Damn. She knew. "Tess—"

  "Don't!" She swung away and placed both hands flat on the counter, breathing deeply, automatically applying one of the techniques he'd taught her to relieve stress. Thirty seconds later, she confronted him again, clearly having failed in her attempt. "How long have you known Dad cancelled his surgery?"

  No matter how he answered, she was not going to be happy. "For certain? Six weeks."

  "Six weeks," she whispered, as though she could pinpoint exactly when it had become his secret.

  He took a deep breath to smother his uneasiness. Michael warned him she would be upset. "I wanted to tell you about it, about financing your dad's nursery but he asked me to wait until everything was in place."

  "Then, you'll be pleased to know it's all in place now. The real estate man picked up Dad this morning to close on the property you found for him."

  Her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. "I can't believe you did this. Because of you, my father cancelled his surgery. He kept it a secret so I couldn’t stop what you were doing. You eliminated his chances of walking again, destroyed everything that was important to him!”

  “Your father cancelled the surgery before I met him, Tess. It was his decision, not mine. He only agreed to the procedure because it was what you wanted. It was always more important to you than to him.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Are you sure? You’re so obsessed with making your father walk again you can’t see anything outside the narrow path you’ve carved. You haven’t changed your priorities since the day you set them in stone.”

  He raked his fingers through his damp hair. “Your father’s done with surgeries, Tess. Your parents want to move on with their lives before they’re too old. They want you to get on with your life, too.”

  Tess flushed. “What gives you the right to step in and change my priorities for me behind my back?”

  Dan stalked across the room and caught her shoulders in his hands. “My love for you gives me the right, dammit! I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself trying to make amends for an accident you couldn’t prevent. You think you can fix your dad's spine if you throw one more surgery at it, but it won't ever be fixed to your satisfaction. He’ll never be the same
again."

  He gave her a slight shake. "You can't pay for the life you think you stole from your parents with your own. The price is too high. You're going to be left holding nothing but empty air. I love you too much to let that happen."

  The fire in her eyes flared briefly and died. "You once told me any man who loved me wouldn't make me choose between him and my family and my job."

  "I'm not asking you to choose anything!"

  "It's much easier to take all my choices away, isn’t it?" Her eyes darkened. "I may be obsessive and driven and everything you say I am, but when I love someone as much as I love—"

  She grew unnaturally calm. "All I've ever wanted was to make my parents happy. If this nursery is what they want, they deserve to have their dreams come true."

  "What about what you want, Tess? When do you go after your own dreams?"

  "I don't have any dreams. Not anymore." Blinking furiously, she pulled out of his grasp and walked out of the kitchen.

  Dan went after her, catching up with her in the bathroom doorway. "What are you saying?"

  "I'm saying goodbye, Dan. I hope you find the balance you're looking for in your new charter business," she said, shutting the door with a click of the lock.

  He could still see her face, the haunted shadows in her eyes and the lone tear trickling down her cheek, when his plane landed in O'Hare Airport several hours later. And that image tore him apart because he suddenly realized she was right. He did want her to make a choice. He didn’t care about her job, and he would never expect her to give up her family. He simply wanted her to choose him.

  ***

  "And you left it there?" Aunt Mary stared at him from her side of the limousine that was carrying the wedding party to the country club a week later. "There are times, Danny Boy, when you're too much like your father. You wouldn't be here if I hadn't locked my brother in the wood shed with Sarah after they broke up three days before their wedding."