He nabbed a Gatorade from the table and flopped down on his bed. “No. But I’m clean, so there’s that.”
I muted the TV. “Should we make a plan for tomorrow?”
“I don’t know that it’s going to make a difference. As much as I hate it, that shithead has a point. Even if she didn’t want to, she left with him. I think that spells out pretty fucking clearly where we’re at.”
“I don’t know, H. She’s got a lot going on, and that Trey guy is shady. I wouldn’t trust a damn thing that comes out of his mouth. I think we should try again in the morning.”
“I guess.” He punched his pillow and turned his attention to the TV. “You mind turning that up. I’m done talking.”
I must have passed out at some point, because I woke up to my phone vibrating against my cheek. I fumbled with it, blinding myself with the glare of the screen. It was Sarah. I answered the call, glancing over at Hayden. He’d fallen asleep sitting up with his arms crossed over his chest. The TV screen glowed black, casting a dim shadow across the room. I rolled off the bed and shut myself in the bathroom.
“Hey, how’s it going?” My voice came out all gravel.
“I’m sorry I woke you.”
“No problem. I’d wake up to the sound of your voice any time. How many times did you call before I picked up?”
“Four.”
“That’s not bad.”
She laughed, but then grew serious. “Have you heard anything?”
“Nothing. But then that Trey guy said she was sleeping.”
“Do you believe him?” Sarah asked softly.
“I don’t know what to believe.”
“I tried to call Tenley a few more times tonight. I’ve even emailed her with no response. It’s not like her. She’s not a heavy sleeper and she has a lot of nightmares. I used to hear her, back before she and Hayden were a thing.”
“Hear her? Like walking around her apartment in the middle of the night?”
“She had night terrors or whatever you call them. She’d scream in her sleep. Sometimes it was so loud I could hear it from my apartment.”
“Seriously?”
“You didn’t know? Hayden didn’t tell you that?”
I sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed my temple. I’d only had a couple of beers earlier, so that couldn’t be the reason for the sudden headache. Maybe it was lack of sleep and the stress of the situation. “This thing between them is way complicated. Hayden’s not into sharing, especially not his feelings. He keeps a lot of stuff to himself. Sometimes it’s hard to know what’s going on with him. We’re going back to Trey’s tomorrow to try again. Whatever happens, I’ll call you.”
We talked for a few more minutes but she was preoccupied and I was tired. Eventually she ended the call and I went back to bed, but I didn’t sleep much after that.
Hayden woke up at five in the morning. Normally, I could sleep through anything. He must have had one hell of a dream, though, because he’d ended up on the floor between our beds, swearing like a champ.
“You all right, man?” I asked, struggling to focus in the dim room.
“I don’t—”
He rubbed a circle over his pecs and looked down at his hand, eyes wide and haunted. I didn’t have to ask what that was about.
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
That was total bullshit. He picked himself up off the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. He stayed that way for a while, elbows resting on his knees with his head bowed. Eventually, he got up and disappeared into the bathroom. This time he was quick with the shower. I figured he’d want to get Tenley early so we could all head home.
My own shower wasn’t that refreshing. Hayden hadn’t left much in the way of shampoo and the soap was gone. I hadn’t thought to call down to the front desk to ask for more, so I made do with what little there was.
Fifteen minutes later, I came out of the bathroom to find Hayden dressed, sitting on the edge of the bed, foot bouncing on the floor.
“Let’s go get my car.”
I stood there, staring at his bowed head, trying to decide if I’d heard right. “I think you mean we should go get Tenley.”
“No. I want to get out of here and get my car. Like I said before, if we go back to that house someone will call the police. I’ve never had a record and I don’t need one now.”
“Calling the cops doesn’t mean you’ll end up with a record. We have to at least try.”
“Tenley’s not answering her phone. Not for me. I know Sarah tried to call her because I heard you talking last night.” He stood up. “Trey’s right. She made a choice and I’m not it.”
I thought he’d been asleep when I answered the call. Obviously, I’d been wrong. Arguing with him was pointless. When Hayden got an idea in his head, it was impossible to change his mind. I considered using Lisa or Sarah as leverage to get him to go back to Trey’s. It would cause more problems than it would solve, though. Hayden didn’t need any more guilt than he was already shouldering.
“Okay. We’ll get your car and go home.”
The first three hours of the drive were tense. Hayden hadn’t had much to say. We picked up his car from the impound lot without too much hassle, thankfully. Hayden was edgy and I didn’t want him to freak on anyone, so I did the talking. I didn’t feel good about him driving in his condition, but at least I could follow him and make sure he didn’t launch his car off a bridge. That seemed to be a possibility, given his mood.
On the way home I called Sarah and got her voicemail. I left a message telling her we’d be back soon, but I didn’t mention Tenley’s not being with us. Lisa's texts had gone unanswered since we left Arden Hills; they were growing in frequency the longer I stayed silent. I couldn’t reply, unable to handle her reaction when she found out I’d failed.
When we got to Chicago, I followed Hayden into the parking garage of his building and made him hand over the spare key to his apartment.
“What do you need my key for?”
“So I can check on you when you don’t show up for work tomorrow.”
“I’ve got appointments lined up. I’ll be there.”
I held out my hand. “I still want the key. I’ll call before I come by.”
He handed it over with an eye roll. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned away, pausing to look over his shoulder. “Thanks, for coming to get me and for taking me to get Tenley, even though it didn’t work out.”
“Any time, H. She’ll be back when she’s ready.”
“We’ll see.” He disappeared into the stairwell, moving slowly.
I parked Sarah’s car behind Serendipity. Lisa needed to be filled in before I called Sarah again, so I cut through the narrow alleyway leading to the storefronts and crossed the street to Inked Armor.
Lisa shot out of her chair when she saw me, then sank back down just as quickly when she realized I was alone. What I didn’t expect—although maybe should have—was to find Sarah sitting beside her. She jumped up and came out from behind the cash desk, throwing her arms around me. The hug caught me off guard. I stumbled back a step as I returned the embrace.
“I’m so glad you’re home. Where are Tenley and Hayden?”
I wanted something other than bad news to relay. “Hayden went up to his condo.”
“Tenley’s with him, though, right? Have they worked things out?” Sarah asked.
I was glad I couldn’t see her face, because I didn’t want to be responsible for the disappointment I was about to put there. I glanced at Lisa and shook my head, confirming what she already knew.
Lisa’s shoulders sagged and Jamie came over to put an arm around her. “How is he?”
“Not good.”
Sarah leaned back and looked from me to Lisa. “What’s going on?”
“Tenley didn’t come back with us.”
“What? Why not? I don’t understand.”
“Remember how I told you that Trey dick called the police on us? Hayden figured it was pointless to try and go
back. And Tee hadn’t answered any of his calls, so there was that, too. Plus Trey said a bunch of shit that riled Hayden up yesterday. I think he spent all night stewing over it.” I looked to Lisa. “I tried to convince him we should try again this morning, but you know how he is. He gets something in his head and he can’t get past it.”
“But he was supposed to bring her back,” Sarah said softly, her bottom lip trembling. “It’s my fault she left. I let her go.”
“Hey, don’t do that to yourself.” I ran my palms down her arms, hating that my inability to change Hayden’s mind made her take on the blame. “Tee made a choice.”
“But I could have . . .” She shook her head. “I should have stopped her.”
“She’ll be back,” I said, praying it was true.
“I hope so.” Sarah dropped her head and sniffled.
“You want me to walk you back to your place?” I asked.
“Please. Will you stay for a while?”
“Yeah. Of course.” I was more than happy to spend time with Sarah. I just wished it were under different, less crappy circumstances.
She gave Lisa a hug and they had a whispered conversation while Jamie asked me in a low voice how bad I thought Hayden was. All I could think to compare it to was when Hayden finally cut ties with Sienna, and he was way more attached to Tenley then he ever was to Sienna. Hayden wasn’t going to deal with this well. We all knew that. Sarah didn’t know his history, though. The shitstorm would hit eventually; I wanted to protect her from it as long as I could. When Hayden went down, he went down hard.
“I’ll be back later.” I tossed the key to Hayden’s apartment on the counter. “You might want to go up there and check on him. I don’t know that his being alone is good right now.”
I walked Sarah out and took her across the street to her apartment. She made me tea while I filled in the details.
She curled up on the couch beside me, folding her legs under her. “I just wish Tenley would have talked to Hayden before she left. She’s in love with him. I think after everything she’s lost, Tenley’s terrified of the way she feels.” She paused to sip her tea. “That brother-in-law of hers is awful . . .”
“He’s a jerkoff. The only thing that makes me feel any better is the fact that there are other people in that house with her. At least she’s not completely alone with him, even if they’re Trey’s employees.”
“She didn’t talk about him much. The few things she shared weren’t good. I’m pretty sure he took care of her after the crash. He was the only one left. Everyone else was gone. I think she believes it’s her fault everyone died and I have a feeling Trey would reinforce that guilt.”
Things were starting to add up. Trey had mentioned something about having taken care of her after she was released from the hospital. I dropped my head back and closed my eyes, wishing I’d pushed Hayden to go back this morning instead of leaving her behind.
I felt the cushion beside me dip. Sarah’s long nails skimmed my temple before sifting through my hair. “You must be exhausted.”
“I’m all right.” I was tired, but too worried about Hayden, and now Tenley, to be able to relax. I’d been in the same clothes for the past two days and I’d sat in a car for more than seven hours today. The only food I’d eaten had come either prepackaged or from a drive thru.
“Can I get you anything besides tea? Are you hungry? Do you want a shower?"
I cracked an eyelid. “Do I smell that bad?”
“What? No. I just . . . you’ve been wearing these clothes since we went out the other night. I could wash them for you if want to shower. It might make you feel better.”
I looked down at my wrinkled shirt. The lack of food stains was a surprise since I’d been in it for so long. The offer was nice, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about showering at her place.
We’d barely made it to third base the last time we went out. Although, if we hadn’t been interrupted by Hayden’s call that night, things might have been different. Showering meant getting naked in her space. I was already entertaining possible scenarios. It didn’t bode well for keeping things slow.
“It’s cool. I can wait until I get home.”
“Honestly, I don’t mind. Let me get things set up for you.”
She was off the couch and down the hall before I could stop her. Not that I had much motivation to, anyway. A shower and clean clothes would be heaven.
A minute later she poked her head around the corner. “Okay! All set.”
It took a lot more energy to get my ass off the couch than it should have. I stretched as I followed her down the hall, my eyes gravitating to her legs. They were endless, and I knew what they felt like when they were wrapped around my waist, thanks to our last make-out session.
Sarah didn’t fit the usual strip-club waitress profile. Sure she had a rockin’ body, but she was missing the huge tits, the extensions, and the fluorescent fake nails. It was what I liked about her in the first place. She seemed out of place in The Dollhouse. The skimpy outfits never made sense on her, even though they looked good.
The shower was running, the bathroom already filled with steam. Once Sarah showed me where everything was, I closed the door and stripped. Wrapping a towel around my waist, I cracked the door and passed her my clothes.
Her eyes dropped to my waist and lingered there. “I’ll just put these in the wash then . . .” She gave me a small smile before she left me to it.
Sarah’s shower was weak compared to mine, but it was awesome anyway. I hadn’t realized how much I needed it until I lathered up and washed off the residue of the past two days. I wanted to scrub away the failure.
Sarah used expensive shampoo. It wasn’t the typical girlie stuff, either so I wouldn’t end up smelling like fruit, or a flower bed. I stayed in the shower until the hot water started to cool. Once I dried off, I wrapped the second towel around my waist. It covered all the important parts.
I found Sarah in the living room sitting cross-legged on the couch, a pair of glasses perched on her nose and her laptop propped open on the coffee table. Her jeans were ripped at the knees and her t-shirt was just as worn. It wasn’t anything special, but she looked so damn hot. My cock must have realized this at the same time as my brain and forgot the memo to stay the hell down. The towel I had for cover didn’t camo the problem, but the back of the couch was the right height, so I hid the issue behind it.
“You wouldn’t happen to have a t-shirt that would fit me?”
“I don’t—” Sarah sucked in a breath when she turned around. Her eyes dropped from my face. Aside from my sleeves, I had a few smaller pieces on my chest. “I . . . uh . . . wow.”
“Is that a no?”
“What?”
“A shirt? You think you might have one for me?” With the way she was staring, I almost hoped she didn't.
“Right.” She cleared her throat. “I doubt it. What size are you? An XL?”
“I could make that work.”
“Let me check.”
She popped up off the couch and hurried out of the room. It gave me the opportunity to sit down without Sarah getting an eyeful of my semi. I grabbed the closest pillow and put it over my lap for extra protection.
I felt a little stupid hanging out in just a towel, but the shower had felt so good. Sarah had made me another tea while I’d been in the bathroom. I picked up the mug and took a sip. It was minty, like her shampoo.
She returned with a couple of t-shirts. “These are the ones I sleep in. They’re the biggest I have. You can try them on and see if one fits.” She held up a bright pink one with the logo of a college I’d never heard of on it. “This one is the loosest on me.”
I took it from her and checked the tag. It was men’s large. The neck was so small I could barely get it over my head. It was way too tight, but I’d take being slightly uncomfortable for the next couple of hours if it meant time with Sarah. Especially after the shit day I’d had.
Sarah bit her lip to keep from smiling.
“I think it’s too small.”
“You don’t think it’s a good fit?” I asked, running my hand over my pecs. If I raised my arms over my head, I could almost guarantee I’d rip it at the seams. “I think the color makes me look hot.”
“You were hot without the shirt on. Now you’re ridiculous.”
“I thought you’d be more comfortable if I was wearing more than a towel, but if you want me to take it off—”
Sarah’s grin was devilish. “The shirt or the towel?”
I raised an eyebrow. “That’d give a whole new meaning to hanging out.”
She burst into laughter and I smiled. Part of me—the one hidden under the pillow and the towel—was disappointed she didn’t opt for clothing removal.
She sat down next to me and nabbed the remote, flicking on the TV. The Discovery channel came on, featuring some nature program. “Are you okay with this?” Sarah lifted my arm, ducking under it so she could burrow into my side.
“Sure. It’s cool.” We could watch static for all I cared. It was just nice to chill with her.
During the show, Sarah migrated from her own couch cushion to my lap. I liked that she was all tucked up against me. I dwarfed most women, but Sarah was tall, so I didn’t feel like I would break her if I hugged her. She snuggled in closer, the top of her head under my chin.
“What’s up, you okay?” I asked, giving her a squeeze.
“I just wish I knew what was going on with Tenley.” She traced the perimeter of one of the buildings tattooed on my arm.
“Yeah. That whole situation is messed up.” I kissed her hair.
She lifted her head. “Do you really think she'll be back?”
She looked so sad. It made me wish I’d done a better job of convincing Hayden to stay and work things out. “You said yourself she’s in love with him. That’s got to make it hard to walk away permanently. Especially after everything she’s already been through.”
She nodded, as if she wanted to believe it, too. Neither of us looked away, and the heavy weight of her anxiety became something more like desperation, charging the air.
Her fingers skimmed my jaw, running over the stubble I hadn’t shaved because I didn’t want to use her razor without asking first. Sarah’s palm came to rest against the side of my neck. She lifted her chin and tugged, pulling my mouth down. It started out innocent enough, but that didn’t last.
Between the Cracks Page 3