“I cannot.”
“Please.” Navarre blinked back the tears that burned his eyes. “Please.”
“I cannot.”
“Shall I beg? Is that what you want? I’ll go down on my knees, down on my belly, whatever you ask. Only let me see her one more time.”
The guard fingered the hilt of his sword, and then he sighed. “Tonight,” he whispered. “If I can, I will bring her tonight. But for a few moments only.”
Navarre nodded, unable to speak past the lump in his throat. It was the first kindness that had ever been shown him.
It was in the last dark hour before dawn when the guard brought her to him.
“Back I will be in a quarter of an hour,” the guard said.
“Wait!” Navarre called as the man turned to leave. “Can you not put her in here with me?”
“I have not the key,” the guard said. “Best make good use of the time you have.”
Navarre waited until the man was gone, and then he reached through the bars, his arm wrapping around her waist. “Katlaina, are you well?”
“Do not worry,” she said quietly. “No harm will come to me. Or the babe.” She caressed his cheek. “My poor Navarre. You will be alone again.” A tear slid down her cheek as she placed her hand over his heart. “I will never forget you.”
“Nor I you.”
“I shall pray for a girl,” she said tremulously. “Perhaps, if the gods are kind and my child is female, they will let us go.”
“Perhaps,” he said.
She slid her arms around his waist, drawing him as close as she could with the bars between them.
“Kiss me, my Navarre,” she whispered fervently. “Kiss me until they take me away.”
Slowly, reverently, he lowered his head, his mouth slanting over hers to sip her sweetness. She tasted of milk and honey, and he drank deeply, imprinting her taste, her scent, on his memory. His fingers moved in the black silk of her hair, slid inside her robe to caress her breasts, memorizing the softness of her skin, the feel of her in his hands.
“Katlaina…” He breathed her name, and then he kissed her again, silently cursing the iron bars that kept them apart.
“I love you,” she whispered. “I will love you as long as I live.”
“Katlaina, I…” The words died in his throat as he heard footsteps, and then the guard was there, taking her by the arm, leading her away.
And he was left alone, with only the memory of her voice whispering that she loved him.
Chapter Five
He had been alone when they took his mother from him, but it was as nothing compared to the desolation he felt now. He ached with loneliness, with desire. For two months, he had known the love of a woman, had known what it meant to experience a man’s desire, to find fulfillment in the arms of a woman he loved.
And now she was gone, and he would never see her again. Nor would he see the child he had sired. Navarre stared at the ceiling, unseeing. Once the child was born, his own life would be over, unless his offspring was a female. What would happen then, he didn’t know. Nor did it matter, because he knew, deep inside the dark well of his soul, that he had sired a male.
Katlaina. She was in one of the rooms upstairs. So near… Katlaina, Katlaina.
He mourned her loss as though she had died. He refused to eat, couldn’t sleep, only lay on his narrow cot, one arm over his eyes, thinking of her, remembering the nights they had spent together. The love they had shared.
Katlaina.
Days that had seemed long before seemed endless now. Three months passed, and he saw no one but the guard who emptied the chamber pot and brought him food twice each day. It was the same man who had brought Katlaina to him.
Navarre stood away from the door, as ordered, while the guard slid his food tray under the bars.
The man looked at him a moment, then turned away.
“Wait!” Navarre crossed the floor, his hands curling around the bars. “Wait, please.”
Slowly, the guard turned around. “What do you want?”
“Katlaina? How is she?”
“To talk to you is forbidden,” the guard said, not quite meeting Navarre’s eyes.
“Please.”
“In good health, she is.”
“I’ll never see her again, will I?”
“No.”
“And the…the child. Will I be allowed to see it before…?”
“No.”
Navarre pressed his forehead against the bars and closed his eyes. He would never see her again, never see his son. The pain that rose within him was excruciating.
Slowly, he raised his head and met the guard’s eyes. “Please.” He dropped to his knees, his hands clasped. “Please.”
The guard took a step forward, his brown eyes filled with an odd mixture of pity, curiosity, and fear. “Been imprisoned since birth, have you not?”
Navarre nodded.
“And now you’re to be…” The man swallowed hard, unable to say the word.
“Sacrificed.”
The guard nodded. In spite of himself, he felt a wave of compassion for the young man. Some said it was an honor to be the chosen one, to give one’s life in behalf of the people. But he had never seen it so. “Afraid, are you?”
Navarre made a sound of disgust deep in his throat. “I’m angry! Angry that I am to be sacrificed to appease a goddess I don’t believe in, that I am to be killed for people I have never seen.”
“Sorry am I,” the guard murmured. “Sorry for you. Sorry for me. Like you, I was given no choice regarding my life. Told, I was, that I would be a guard in the palace of the High Priest. Told, I was, who I would marry, and where I would live. And while I am not to be sacrificed, my whole adult life has been spent inside this place.”
“But you can go out when you chose,” Navarre said, rising to his feet. “You have a house of your own. A woman of your own.” He drew a deep breath and let it out in a long, slow sigh. “You have been kind to me. I would know your name.”
“Ahijah.”
“What will happen to me, to Katlaina, if the child she bears is a female?”
“I know not. Such a thing has never happened.”
“Please let me see her again.”
“I cannot. Sorry, I am.”
“Please, Ahijah.”
The guard took a step forward. “Promise me something, you will, if I let you see her?”
Navarre frowned at the odd request, wondering what he could possibly do for the man. “I will.”
“Before you die, a list of requests the priests will give to you.”
“Requests?”
“You are being sacrificed so you can carry the messages of the priests to the goddess. They will have you ask her for a good rainfall so that the crops will grow. They will tell you to ask that our men will stay strong, that our women will be fertile, that our enemies will fall before us.”
“And if I refuse?”
“You will not. Trust me, Navarre, ways they have to extract your promise. Ways you do not wish to learn.”
“What do you want of me?”
“When the goddess you see, I want you to ask her to bless me with a son.”
“I will.”
Ahijah smiled. “Tonight,” he said. “When the moon is waning, come for you, I will.”
Never had the hours of the day passed more slowly. Finally, after what seemed like days, Ahijah appeared.
“Promise me, you must, that you will not try to escape,” Ahijah said. “It will be my life if you do.”
“I promise.”
“Turn around,” Ahijah ordered, and when Navarre obeyed, Ahijah lashed his wrists together, then unlocked the cell door.
“There’s no need to bind my hands,” Navarre said. “I gave you my word.”
“But my head it is that will be on the block should you decide a try at freedom is worth more than your word,” Ahijah replied candidly. “Quietly now.”
Moments later, Navarre was ushered in
to a large, sumptuously appointed chamber.
Ahijah shackled Navarre’s left ankle to an iron ring set in the middle of the floor, then released his hands.
“Remember your promise,” Ahijah called over his shoulder as he went out the door. “Return for you in one hour I will.”
Left alone, Navarre glanced around the room. He had never seen a king’s palace, but surely only royalty lived in such splendor. Heavy drapes of pale yellow brocade hung at the windows. Heavy furniture made of dark wood was grouped before a large stone hearth. Colorful rugs covered the floor. A tray of meat and cheese and a jug of wine sat on a tray on a small table.
A soft rustling sound drew his attention and he glanced over his shoulder to see Katlaina enter the room.
“Navarre!” Tears of joy welled in her eyes as she flew across the room.
“Katlaina.” He breathed her name as he gathered her into his arms. “Katlaina, Katlaina.” Only her name, over and over again. His hands roamed over her body, marveling at the fullness of her breasts, the swell of her belly. It was true, he thought. His seed was growing within her. A part of him would be left behind.
“You are here,” she murmured. “I prayed and prayed that I would see you again.”
“How are you?” he asked. He spread his hands over her belly, then cupped her breasts, weighing their heaviness in his hands as he imagined his babe suckling at her breast.
“I am well,” she said. “But you… My poor Navarre, trapped in that awful cage, alone.”
She took his hand and led him to the settee. When he sat down, she curled into his lap, her head resting on his shoulder. “You’re here,” she whispered. “Really here.”
“What will happen to you after the child is born?”
“I have been told I will be sent back to my family with a large dowry.”
Sent home, he thought. With a large dowry to appease her future husband for the lack of a maidenhead.
Impotent anger welled within him at the thought of her marrying another man, bearing another man’s child.
“Kiss me, Navarre,” she urged. “The minutes are passing so quickly…”
“Katlaina…” With a low groan, he covered her mouth with his, drinking in her sweetness, losing himself in the touch of her hands as they moved restlessly over his face and chest.
Honeyed fire spread through him as their bodies pressed together, the need between them heightened by the months they had been apart.
He marveled at how beautiful she was, her body swollen with his child, her eyes shining with love. He nuzzled the cleft between her breasts, wishing they were already filled with milk so that he might taste her.
He reached for her, and she was there, opening to him, her body welcoming his invasion, closing around him, making him forget that he had only months left to live, that he might never see her again. For now, there was only this one moment, this one woman, warm and willing in his arms, her voice low and husky as she poured out her love for him.
Too soon, Ahijah came to take him away.
His cage seemed smaller, more confining, after the opulence of Katlaina’s chamber. His bed was small and empty, his days bleak, the hours of darkness an endless torment as he thought of her, dreamed of her, yearned for her.
Night after night, he begged Ahijah to take him to see Katlaina one more time. And night after night, the guard refused.
Five months had passed since the last time he had seen her. Five long months, and with each passing day, the sense of time closing in on him grew stronger. Katlaina. She was ever in his heart, in his mind, in his thoughts. Every time he closed his eyes, her image appeared before him, her belly expanding as his child was nurtured within her womb. He had to see her, just one more time.
“Please, Ahijah.” Navarre pleaded with the guard as he had every night since last he had seen her. “Please take me to her again.”
“You know not what you ask.” Ahijah let out a sigh of exasperation. After five months, his patience was wearing thin. Every night it was the same, Navarre begging to see the woman again. And yet, in spite of his resolve not to weaken again, Ahijah couldn’t help but pity the man. Poor wretch. What a miserable life the Fates had decreed for him. Born and raised in a cage, bred as if he was a prize bull, and what was to be his reward? Death at the hands of a bloodthirsty goddess.
For the first time in months, Navarre felt a flicker of hope as he studied Ahijah’s expression. Was the man weakening?
“Please, Ahijah,” he whispered. “Time is running out. I must see her just once more.”
“Told you and told you, I have, the danger of being caught is too great to risk again.”
“Please! I’ll beg the goddess to give you a dozen sons, wealth beyond your imagination, only take me to her again.” Navarre’s hands closed around the bars until his knuckles were white with the strain. “Please, Ahijah, I have only two months left…”
“You promise? A dozen sons. Wealth enough to turn my back on Kenn and make a new life in another town?”
“I promise. That and more, whatever you want.”
Ahijah ruminated for a moment. The risk was great, but so, too, was the reward, if he but had the courage.
“Do it, I will,” he agreed at last. “Tomorrow night. But the last time, it is. And you must promise not to ask again.”
Navarre nodded. The last time.
The last time he would see her, hold her, touch her.
* * * * *
True to his word, Ahijah reunited him with Katlaina the following night, just after midnight.
As soon as Ahijah had shackled Navarre to the bed and left the room, Katlaina flew into his arms. “Navarre, my Navarre.” Murmuring his name, she covered his face with kisses.
“Katlaina…” His arms wrapped around her and for a moment he was content to do nothing more than stand her and hold her close and then he drew her down on the bed and into his arms once more.
She snuggled deeper into his embrace, her beautiful green eyes wet with tears. “Navarre, I will never forget you. Never.” She drew her fingertip over his lips. “What would you do if you were free? If we could walk out of here tomorrow morning and never look back?”
“Do?” Navarre shook his head. “I don’t know. I’ve never done anything.” He shook his head again. “I have knowledge,” he mused. “Inside my mind, I have the knowledge of a thousand scrolls, and yet I’ve never done anything. Never seen the wonders I’ve read about. Never been anywhere.”
His arm tightened around her. “You tell me,” he said. “Tell me what we would do.”
“We would go to Grenalde,” Katlaina said. “You would like it there. It is so beautiful, especially in the spring when everything is all green and gold. There is a waterfall high in the mountains. And a lake. And trees, and flowers. And deer and horses and foxes. And birds and fish and ducks and geese. I would show you all of it, Navarre, and I would love you all the days of my life. I would give you children, as many as you wanted. And we would be happy, so happy.”
He closed his eyes, listening to her words, and felt an ache grow in his chest, a longing for a place he had never seen. Mountains, he thought. A waterfall, and a lake. And animals that he had seen only in drawings. And Katlaina and their children, there beside him…
The ache in his chest grew until he could hardly breathe, until love and hate and rage and regret rose up within him, choking him.
He clung to her as if she could save him from the fate that awaited him.
“Hold me!” he begged, his voice husky with fear. “Katlaina, hold me!”
“I am here,” she crooned. “I am here.”
With a cry that was half sob, half scream, he ripped the clothes from her body, shrugged out of his breeches, and buried himself deep within her. There was no gentleness in him now, no sweetness, only a driving need to possess her, to fill her with his essence, to hear her cry his name as his body convulsed.
Katlaina. She was the giver of life, the bearer of life, and he sheathed
himself deep within her, hoping that she could somehow cleanse him of his fear of what was to come.
She held him close until dawn’s first light.
Too soon, Ahijah came for him. “Time, it is.” The guard’s tone was curt as he unlocked the shackle around Navarre’s left ankle.
Navarre nodded, and then he drew Katlaina into his arms one last time.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“Remember me,” he said. “When I’m gone, remember me. No one else will.”
Katlaina nodded. “You will always be in my heart, Navarre.”
He kissed her gently, tenderly. And then he placed his hands over her belly, a look of amazement flickering in his eyes as he felt the child move.
He lifted his gaze to Katlaina’s face, and she smiled at him through her tears.
“Navarre!” Ahijah’s voice was sharp with rebuke. “Go, we must!”
“Farewell, Katlaina,” Navarre murmured. “Think of me once in a while.”
“Every moment of every day.”
So much to tell her, he thought, but he couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat. He kissed her one last time, and then left her chamber.
There was an unmistakable ring of finality as Ahijah closed and locked the door.
Chapter Six
The nightmares began the following night, always the same, yet upon waking Navarre could remember nothing but the terror of being buried alive.
As the day of the sacrifice drew nearer, Ahijah spent more time with Navarre, sitting outside the cage in silence when Navarre seemed pensive, talking about his own childhood when Navarre was in the mood to listen.
Knowing Navarre’s penchant for sweets, Ahijah made sure that Navarre’s supper always included a tart or some other kind of confection. Knowing the scrolls were the prisoner’s only form of escape, he brought new ones every week.
It was just after dawn on a bright spring morning when Ahijah made an unexpected appearance at the cage door.
“What is it?” Navarre asked, his heart hammering with fear. “Is it time?”
“Not yet,” Ahijah said. “But soon. A healthy boy was born Katlaina less than an hour ago.”
Moonlight Page 3