by Ace Gray
I was grateful for a reason not to go straight home to Bryant. I loved him but I needed space to breathe so I didn’t go off the rails regarding Vesper. Or the shit he was hiding. Again. Really, that little detail tempted me to stomp my foot right there in the lobby like a crazy person.
“Sounds fantastic. Please let Jaime know.” I managed, much more collected than I felt.
“Anything else you’ll need from me besides the usual today?”
“Not that I can think of Gemma, thank you.”
I walked into my office and pulled the door shut behind me, letting out a deep breath. I’d anticipated my staff address to be the difficult part. But dealing with Bryant proved significantly harder. I moved behind my desk and looked out on the city. I pulled off my glasses and rubbed my temples, a slight thump was already developing. I slid my glasses back on just in time to hear the door open behind me.
My body knew who it was without turning to see Nick burst through the door, Gemma calling out behind him. She was mid-sentence about protocol and buzzing him in.
God, love her.
“Are you angry with me?” he rumbled from the entryway. I angled my body enough to see Gemma gently close the door behind him. I raised an eyebrow and turned back to my city view.
“Bryant, I would be very grateful if you treated me with the same respect you demand in your office. Simple, polite gestures like knocking or letting Gemma buzz you in would be appreciated.”
“You are angry with me.”
“Just doing my best to keep things professional with my business partner.” My temper was barely contained but I refused to break completely.
“Are you punishing me for voicing my opinion in the meeting? Or is this still about earlier?”
“I’m not punishing you.”
“Well I sure as shit would like to punish you for how you’re behaving right now.”
I couldn’t help the blush that ran across my cheeks and down my chest. In one moment he had me right back in the fantasy of him spanking me. I thanked God Gemma crackled over the intercom.
“Elena is here, she only has a small window. Please let me know when to send her in.”
I finally turned towards Nick and looked at him over my glasses, keeping my lips pursed, and crossing my arms.
Nick moved swiftly, animal-like, and planted his hands on my desk, leaning toward me. His stance was slightly unnerving. I’d succeeded in provoking him. His chest rose and fell far too rapidly. Unconsciously, I backed away and almost pressed myself against the windows. The longer he glowered, the more my pulse rose, blood thrumming through my body.
“We will discuss this when we get home.”
For the first time I couldn’t read his eye color. The blue was obvious, but there was something else too. It was coal colored and dangerous. He turned and headed for the door, his gate suddenly relaxed and his shoulders pulled back. He didn’t turn to say anything, he just opened the door and let himself out. Tension, both serious and sexual, left me biting my lip. Again.
Fuckingshitpiss!
“Send her in Gem.”
I was surprised I managed through the inner swearing monologue. Nick and I were going to go many more rounds tonight.
After work we went out to a pub that I guessed was Gemma’s choice. I was grateful it wasn’t one of the paparazzi swarmed glitzy places Laura or Ari might have picked. Specially since those two relentlessly badgered me to spill about the reconciliation. The press overhearing would be a disaster. As it was, it didn’t sit well to share, even with my closest friends. It was too personal, too precious.
We laughed and squealed at the table about other things until I noticed Jaime’s impatient looks. His winces said he was getting an ear full. But about what? I hadn’t heard anything—anything—all day.
Scotch made me assume something had gone very, very wrong. Trouble was too commonplace of late. Besides, Nick was keeping secrets again. My stomach hadn’t told me problems were headed my way but now my chest tightened.
I wanted to find a way out of girl’s night. Despite the alcohol my mind was racing. How could I get out the door without a fight? Particularly with Laura. Then there was Ari, was I responsible for her? Would Jaime be under orders to bring me home or keep me away?
Laura, teetering on a single stiletto then falling into me, pulled me from my downward spiral. At some point, she’d gotten hammered. I helped her to the bathroom, deposited her in a stall, and when I didn’t hear a single movement after, had to crouch to check on her. She was leaning against the stall wall, eyes closed.
“I’ll kill her,” I mumbled as I crawled, couture and all, under the locked door. “For fuck’s sake, Laura.” I shook her and a drunken smile pulled across her face.
I hauled her up and pushed her out to the sink. I splashed as much water on her face as her now raccoon-like make up would allow. That bought me enough time to call Jaime and ask for help. He knocked gently on the door, and I kept one hand on Laura as I stretched over, fingers scrambling for the handle and heels slipping on cheap tile, to let him in. We both almost went down.
As soon as I cracked the door, Jaime pushed in and got her upright. I breathed a sigh of relief and followed them out. Jaime moved straight through the bar, assuring me he’d already paid and wrangled the other women into the car. Laura plopped onto the seat and managed to stay upright.
“Ya’guyz should come up fer pissa.” Laura’s words slurred but Gemma and Ari agreed immediately and started picking out pies to order. As delicious as the cheesy goodness sounded, I was anxious. Jaime caught my eye and silently shook his head from the front seat.
Shit. Shitshitshit!
“I should get home. I need to work extra for the next few days since I’ve been out of the office.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice.
None of them had seen Jaime’s subtle gesture. They accepted my excuse with minimal harassment. Laura was the most vocal about her disappointment, but Ari asking to stay over calmed her down significantly.
There’s one less thing to worry about.
We pulled up in front of One Madison and I tried to keep a happy face as the girls harassed me. If they were anywhere near sober, they would have seen my ankles wobble or my fists clench tightly. I shook my head and bit my lip as Jaime opened the car door. He accompanied me through the sidewalk crowd and into the building elevator. I pressed the button and turned to him.
“How bad is it?”
“He’s rather upset with you.” A wide frown marred his face.
“With me? What the hell? I thought something happened.” I certainly hadn’t meant to shout at Jaime but his statement caught me off guard.
“Everything is fine.” He managed a meek smile and I knew which everything he meant. “I was told not to accompany you upstairs.”
Then it clicked.
Our fight at the office.
Why hadn’t I dealt with him like a mature adult? Why did I feel the need to provoke him? Or assert power in the relationship? Better yet, why had I left him to stew about it all day?
I halfheartedly nodded at Jaime and tried to steel myself, strategizing how best to handle a snarly Bryant. When the elevator arrived, I hadn’t come any closer to a solution. I stepped in, alone, and tried to smile as the doors closed with Jaime on the opposite side. A large, heavy rock dropped to the pit of my stomach as the elevator shot upwards.
The car came to a halt and I closed my eyes, squared my shoulders, and stepped into the apartment. I opened my eyes to find a completely dark space. For a second I thought Nick had left, and that idea made me more apprehensive than any wrath he could pitch at me. I went to flip on the light when a sharp Don’t from the living room made me freeze.
My hand dropped from the switch, and I turned toward his voice. The lights of the city barely illuminated him but I could make out the outline of him sitting i
n a wing-backed chair with his fingers templed. He was waiting for me, watching intently as I entered the room. He was still completely dressed, as if fresh from work, and wore a decidedly creased frown firm on his face. I started to walk towards him.
“Stop,” Nick said in the same sharp, icy voice. That sobered me a bit.
“Nick…”
“Don’t Nick me,” he roared. “I’m so angry with you.” I shrank away from him.
“Look, you upset me too.” My voice didn’t compare in the least.
“You disappointed me.”
Ouch, that hurts.
“Jesus, Nick, I…” I deflated. Anger I could handle, disappointment was something else entirely.
“You addressed our staff without consulting me about the future of our company,” he spit the words out at me and I cringed. In the moment, I’d only seen it as him telling me I was wrong. Not once had I factored in the implications of disagreeing in front of the staff, nor disregarding his opinion.
“Nick…”
“You didn’t like what I had to say so you wrapped the meeting without giving me a chance to elaborate.”
“That’s a lie. I offered you the fucking floor.”
“You said the words, but I knew damn well you didn’t mean them. You would’ve slapped me.”
“It’s my company…” I didn’t even finish the last word before he jumped on me again.
“It’s not just your company anymore, Kate.”
I swallowed. Hard.
“Then you won’t even communicate with me. I confront you and you won’t answer my questions.”
“I didn’t…” I protested.
“The icing on a really fucked up cake, Kate, is that you run away after work with the girls and don’t even tell me. I had to find out from Jaime when I started to worry. You know what that says to me?” He let those words hang in the air, challenging me to speak.
I held my tongue feeling completely off-kilter. I hadn’t seen it that way. I certainly hadn’t meant it that way, but now he would shoot any rebuttal down in a single breath.
“It says you don’t trust me.”
My jaw dropped. I trusted him completely. I’d said as much damn near a million times since our reconciliation. I opened my mouth to defend myself but he silenced me with an icy look.
“When you cut me out of business planning and staff meetings it tells me you don’t trust me with Vesper. When you refuse to have an open and honest conversation with me it says that you don’t trust me.” He emphasized the words with a venom that made me quiver.
“I trust you completely.” My words roared far more powerful than I thought possible. I didn’t want him to trust me, I needed him to trust me.
“Prove it.”
His stark, solid words hung in the air. I was at a loss, how could I prove it? Time? No, I needed to erase his steel gray eyes. Now. There had to be something simpler. I was so jittery the deep V of my neck slipped ever so slightly. His eyes blazed momentarily, and it sparked an idea. Thank God alcohol emboldened me.
I silently turned from him and tried not to take the stairs two at a time to our bedroom. I went straight for the drawer next to the bed. I’d never actually dug into it but I’d caught a glimpse once and watched Nick pull all sorts of naughty things from it.
I had to make this good. No, better than good.
Every toy in the drawer had a place, all set in soft molded velvet. There were far more layers than I’d originally seen, and they made my alcohol addled mind reel. I knew what most of the toys were but some were beyond me.
I took a very deep breath then flexed and extended my fingers to steady my hand long enough to dive in. I had to remind myself to keep breathing and focus. Whatever I picked had to represent both punishment and passion.
Handcuffs stood out immediately. Surrender. They would let him hold me, however he pleased. I pulled on the stackable layers and smirked, recognizing a similar design to the jewelry cabinet in my old apartment. The comparison inspired me to pick up the sliver and diamond nipple clamps where they laid on the second tier. The large shimmering stones would be rough and I could only hope in a delicious way.
On the bottom shelf was the real leap of faith. It was a studded leather paddle. My finger traced over the edges and their cold, metallic spots. They were going to sting. But deep down I knew he couldn’t hurt me, so a spanking, even with this, would simply allow him to assert control.
I could do this. I would do this for him. For us.
Thank God for alcohol.
I gathered up the toys and walked back to him. He sat, unmoving, and patiently waiting in the dark, fingers templed in front of his face. Each item I’d grabbed clanked against the coffee table as I set them down. I swore they echoed through the room.
As soon as I delivered them I stood up, aiming for composed but I barely managed to contain my ragged breathing. I did my best to stand still but the thrumming in my bones wouldn’t let me. Heat radiated from my very core, and it was adding to my fidgeting. I stared into his eyes as deeply as I possibly could, hoping it would calm me. Or him.
Or fucking something.
Everything in me wanted to scream and shout how much I loved him, how I couldn’t breathe without him. How I would sooner die than lose him, and that I trusted him completely. Every word would fall on deaf ears so I slid off one shoulder of my jumpsuit, baring my chest to him. He didn’t even flinch. I pushed the other shoulder off and let the silk flutter down my body and pool on the floor. I stood as still as I could in front of him, completely naked.
Nick’s eyes stared unblinking at my flesh. From somewhere, the ticks of a clock sounded and maybe a million went by before he signaled for me to turn around. He hadn’t spoken so I prayed he understood what this represented. I let him stare at my back for an equally painful length of time, trying to hold perfectly still.
The leather of the chair squeaked behind me. My breath caught when metal grazed across the coffee table. He was taking the bait.
Thank God.
But then my throat constricted. Just because this was my idea, didn’t mean I was looking forward to getting paddled.
Nick grabbed one wrist and pulled it behind my back. I shuddered. He reached for the other one and bound them tightly with the handcuffs. The metal closed harsh on my skin, sure to leave a mark. He bound my arms uncomfortably close so they would ache, and soon.
He turned me around, his face giving nothing away. He leaned toward me, still seated, and my body arched naturally toward him. I would’ve been lying if I said I wasn’t hoping he’d let his lips wander across my midriff.
Instead, he kept his face expressionless, simply threading one finger behind me and into the chain of the cuffs. He used slight pressure on the metal to bring me to my knees. I folded my legs and sat on the heels I was still wearing. I wanted to beg. For forgiveness, for punishment, or an orgasm, I didn’t care which. He reached forward again, just to the side of my arm, careful not to brush me. Every inch of me screamed touch me please! in response.
My breathing went wild when metal clanked against glass again. Nick’s hand finally touched me as he ran his knuckles over one nipple. My insides lit on fire. He captured it between two crooked fingers and yanked hard. I cried out. He leaned forward and traded his fingers for his mouth, capturing my nipple between his lips. My breath hitched and I swallowed any further moans.
His lips closed and sucked for the briefest moment before he bit down. Hard. I screamed. Nick pulled away and replaced his lips with one of the clamps. Pathetic whimpering noises poured from my lips. He repeated his quick suck and hard bite on the other side.
The diamonds were heavier than I anticipated, and the stones betrayed the trembling of my body and the hammering of my heart. They pulled on my breasts, making me pant. The sensations rolling through my body ebbed between pain and pleasure. The shar
p sting would fade only to be replaced by a dull, deep, achy electricity that tingled between my legs. Then, without warning, I would breathe too deeply, and sharp pain would shoot through my body all over again.
He sat back and watched me, focusing on my chest as it rose and fell, and how the small jewels swayed against my skin. Please almost tripped off my tongue but I bit the inside of my cheek instead. I knew damn well he was testing whether I trusted him with my body.
Nick was sitting back to prove a point but also so he could watch the effect the toys had on me, the effect he had on me. He wanted to see me surrender and know that vulnerability turned me on. I squared my shoulders determined to show him just that. It shifted the stones and I yelped but kept my eyes locked on his.
Something he saw pleased him because he finally shrugged out of his jacket and slowly— painfully slowly—undid his vest. He removed his tie and unbuttoned his collar. He stood and I expected him to pull me up with him.
But he didn’t. Rather than pulling me up off my knees, he unceremoniously unzipped his fly. His cock sprang free. He laced his hands into my hair and pressed his shaft against my lips. I gladly opened but then he pushed so deep into my throat it stung and made my eyes water. For a moment, I panicked, choking on him. My hands thrashed wildly where they were cuffed against my ass. But then he slipped out, leaving me to gasp.
He will never hurt you and you like it rough.
My body relaxed once I reminded myself and I leaned forward, taking him of my own accord, and swallowing him uncomfortably deep. His fingers unwound for a split second and he ran his hand tenderly through my hair to cradle the back of my neck. I pushed my mouth down further, disregarding when my throat seized. When his fingers laced back into their tight grip I closed my eyes and let him ram repeatedly into my throat. He pushed in so deep that soft curly hair brushed against my nose.