"Don't you think they would be happy to hear about your success?" Liam asked. "Do you think they know?"
I shook my head. "I doubt it. I'm sure they don't go searching who's who in men's fashion."
"Do you think they would be happy to hear from you?" Liam asked.
Tears rose to my eyes at the thought of it. I looked away from him, staring at the floor, or a nearby table, or whatever else was around.
Contacting them seemed like an impossibility.
"I honestly don't know," I said. "It's been so long. My little brothers are both in their twenties by now. I have no idea what everyone's doing. I don't even know how I would get in touch with them or what I would say if I did."
Chapter 11
Liam and I sat at that Mexican restaurant and talked for the next hour, and then after that, we went outside, sat in my car, and talked some more.
He told me more about his family, recounting stories about growing up with an older sister and a bunch of cousins. When they were little, his sister had a role in a comedy sitcom, and I actually remembered her in that show and was amazed that it was the same person.
I told him things about my past and my life that I had shared with no one else on earth. I thought he would judge me about not being in communication with my family, but he didn't. He was kind and considerate and spoke about restoration and forgiveness, and how we all, on some level, needed those things in our lives. He didn't try to talk me into contacting my family, but at the same time, he made me feel like it was possibly, an option if I ever decided to do it.
I believed God gave me that afternoon with Liam. It was like therapy, medicine. There were so many things that had to come together for it to work out the way it had. First, I was emotionally on edge from losing Simon, so I was in a vulnerable place and more likely to share things I normally wouldn't share. Not only that, but the impression Liam's family had left on me caused me to do further soul-searching. I honestly didn't know whether or not all the feelings I had experienced that afternoon would result in any sort of action on my part, but it was definitely a therapeutic experience, and I would be changed as a result of it.
Liam Kennedy swooped into my life at just the right time, and he was just the right type of person to hear me out for an afternoon and let me work through some personal things. I couldn't have seen myself sharing those things so openly with anyone else, and I was truly grateful to Liam for being so real with me. He was an amazing person. He was smart, kind, funny, and easy-going, and I was so thankful for the ability to talk about my family and true past.
I was so swept away by our conversation that I forgot, for a while, how breathtakingly handsome Liam was. We sat in my car for over an hour before driving to his hotel. It was situated on the coast, and after he parked, he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk on the beach. I knew he would be leaving the following day, so I was in no hurry to say goodbye. I easily agreed.
I took off my boots and left them in my car, and Liam did the same thing. We both rolled up our jeans in preparation to walk barefoot in the sand. We went far enough toward the shore where the sand was wet, but not so far that the waves hit our feet.
"Which way do you want to go?" he asked.
"They both look equally inviting," I said glancing toward the left and then the right. "You choose."
Without hesitation, Liam stepped in front of me, taking off toward the right. I fell into stride next to him. We had only taken about five or six steps when he reached out and took me by the hand. He was gentle yet sure of himself, and the unexpected contact caused chills to cover my body.
After everything that I had said to him in the last few hours, I honestly didn't feel worthy of his affection, and his tender touch caused me to tremble. His hand was big and warm, and I was acutely aware of his masculinity. I thought I had destroyed any chance of Liam being attracted to me when I told him about my past, so the fact that he reached out for my hand took me completely by surprise. I kept expecting him to let go, thinking the contact must have been an accident, but he held onto me, rubbing his thumb along the base of my hand as if his touch was completely intentional.
We walked in silence, hand in hand, listening to the sounds of the breaking waves. I was hyper-aware of the point where my skin came in contact with his. It felt as though the nerve endings on my hand were more sensitive than they had ever been. I was discombobulated by my attraction toward him. I already felt like a sitting duck because of everything I had shared with him, and now this. I glanced at him, and when he saw me do it, he looked my way. We shared a smile, and then I shook my head at him.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm not a hand-holder," I said.
He slowly glanced down at our hands, which were still interlocked. "It seems like you are," he said slowly, like he was hesitant to disagree but had to, based on the facts.
"Yeah, but I'm not usually," I said.
"That's okay," he said easily. "It's just a one night stand."
His words made my heart sink. I knew what we had would be over after tonight, but it hurt to hear them say it out loud.
"I hope you don't think that we're going to…" I hesitated, but Liam knew what I was getting at. I glanced at him and he grinned at me.
"No, I don't think that," he said. "But I am planning on kissing you, and since you've already told me that your love life is nonexistent, I figured that almost counted as a one night stand."
My stomach tied into about a thousand knots when he said he was going to kiss me. As soon as the words came out of his mouth, my midsection came alive with tingly butterflies. I couldn't believe I had shared all of that with him and he was still drawn to me. I was real with him to the point of assuming I had no chance, and yet still he wanted to kiss me. This knowledge made me experience a sort of desire and urgency that was previously unknown to me. I wanted to step in front of Liam, stopping him in in his tracks and force him to kiss me passionately right then and there.
"A kiss does count as a one night stand with me," I said.
My voice came out quietly, and it must have been carried away by the sounds of the wind and waves because he looked at me and said, "What did you say?" He was wearing a grin as he spoke, and I could hardly stand to look at him. I glanced at his curved lips, imagining mine coming into contact with them. My heart pounded.
"I said a kiss does count as a one night stand for me." I spoke louder that time, and he smiled and squeezed my hand, so I knew he heard me.
"I promise I won't tell anybody," he said, still wearing that easy grin.
"You can't tell anybody lots of things from today," I said. "This has already been a one night stand as far as I'm concerned."
"You mean holding hands?" He asked teasing me. "You really are conservative."
"I mean our conversation," I said. "I don't talk to people like I've talked to you tonight. I don't do that. I don't share my life with people."
"Maybe you should," he said.
I shook my head. "I already regret doing it with you."
"Why? I'm not going to tell anybody."
"Yeah, but it's still weird for me to put myself out there like this. I'm not good at making myself vulnerable. I don't even like to eat food in front of people."
"You didn't have trouble shoving down those tacos," he said.
I let out a laugh and bumped up against him as we walked. "I did not shove them down," I said. "I chewed like a lady."
He laughed. "Yes, you did," he agreed sweetly. "A hungry lady."
I laughed again, shaking my head at him for playing with me. We walked for another minute in companionable silence. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I was thinking about everything we had done and said. I was so used to being in total control of my surroundings that the whole afternoon felt like a wild and unruly whirlwind. I was also thinking about kissing him—that was at the forefront of my mind.
Liam pulled me toward the water and didn't stop walking until we came to a spot where the waves were hitting
our feet. I looked around, realizing that we were all alone. There were lights from buildings and from the moon, but we were on a secluded stretch of beach, and I felt comfortable and secure while somehow at the same time terrified and exposed.
He stood right in front of me, wrapping my arms around his stomach as if showing me how to hold onto him. I left my arms in position when he let go, and he took me by the waist. He held me gently, but it was enough to let me know that he didn't want me going anywhere. I stared up at him feeling completely breathless with anticipation. Our eyes locked, and we shared a long lingering glance that was full of charged tension. It was mostly dark out yet I could read the expression and intention and his eyes.
"I have never met anyone like you, Taylor. You think you're obsessed with success, but you're not. You're brilliant and kind, and you have way more emotion than you give yourself credit for. You are hands down the most beautiful creature I have ever seen—inside and out."
My heart absolutely rattled in my chest. It was beating so rapidly that I thought Liam could probably see it from the outside of my chest.
"If you're going to say and do things that are out of your comfort zone with anyone, it should definitely be me," he continued. He glanced upward at the sky. "Thank you, God, that it's with me," he exclaimed loudly enough to startle me slightly. I let out a little laugh, and when he glanced at me again, he was grinning.
"Thank you, Liam," I said.
He saw that I was talking to him, but I had spoken so quietly that he couldn't quite hear me over the sound of the waves. He turned his head and lowered it, placing his ear closer to me. I stretched up to the spot where my mouth was only about an inch from ear. I wanted to say that he was unlike anyone I had ever met. I wanted to say that he was smart, funny, kind, and the most gorgeous man I had ever seen. I wanted to tell him that today had been magical on so many levels and that I never wanted it to end.
"Thank you," I said instead. "Thank you for today." I popped up onto my toes and placed a quick kiss near the front of his ear.
Chapter 12
I had been kissed before, but it had been a very long time. I had my fair share of willing gentleman suitors who I met through work, but I never got close to any of them. Now that I was the owner of a successful business, I frequently had handsome, successful gentleman express their desire for getting to know me, but it was never even a consideration. I knew in my heart that those same men wouldn't be interested in me if I was the starving undercutter that I was back in London.
Maybe that was judgmental of me. Maybe some of the men who had been interested me in recent years truly liked me for who I was. Either way, I had never allowed myself to get close to any of them. I was perfectly content with my life the way it was—focused on my passion for my career.
But I was aware of a different type of passion as I stood there in the arms of Liam Kennedy. This man had come into my life under the oddest of circumstances, and in the span of only a few hours had managed to change me—change my perspective. I was intoxicated by him—dizzy with attraction and emotion. I stared at his handsome face, wondering if he had unlocked my capacity to feel drawn to a man.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"I'm thinking I'm glad you called me today. I'm gonna be sad when it's over."
I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. That was such a vulnerable thing for me to say. I would've never normally said that.
And then it happened.
He kissed me.
He leaned down and expertly landed his mouth on mine with no reservations or doubt. His full, curved lips that I had been staring at all afternoon finally made their way to mine, and the warm soft feel of them sent shockwaves through my body. I instinctually stretched upward, and our lips gently conformed to the shape of each other's. Once, twice, three times, we gently and slowly kissed, exploring one another's mouth with great tenderness.
"Taylor," he whispered, barely pulling back. I could feel his breath against my mouth, and I kissed his bottom lip again before answering him.
"Liam," I said.
"Why do you live all the way over here in California?"
Before I could answer his question, he kissed me again, but this time he left his mouth on mine as if he had no plans to take it away. We stayed that way for several long seconds until I finally began to smile, causing him to readjust, kissing me again. He kissed my smiling lips and then the side of my mouth before placing a tender, lingering kiss on my cheek. My arms were around his waist and my grip tightened, holding him closer and trying to convey the message that I wanted him to continue. I had never felt so safe.
He kissed me over and over—sweet, warm, gentle kisses all over my mouth and cheeks and neck. My heart soared with happiness and my blood turned thick and warm with desire. I felt a tingling sensation in my abdomen and I held him tighter still, feeling like I couldn't get close enough.
Thankfully, Liam took this as a hint. His hands had been around my waist, but he reached up, taking a hold of me with a firm but gentle hand on the back of my head. He held my head in place with a light grip on my hair, as he pulled back and stared at me. "I'm going to kiss you now, Taylor."
His statement caused chills to run through my body, and I shivered. "I thought you were kissing me," I said.
He stared at me for a second or two with a serious expression before shaking his head slowly. I knew what he was about to do, and I felt crazy with desire. He leaned down, placing his mouth next to my ear. It wasn't next to my ear; it was on my ear, and the feel of his soft lips caused me to take a deep breath.
"I haven't kissed you yet," he said. His warm breath on my ear and the words he said made me weak with desire. I whimpered and let my head fall back into his hand, feeling helpless.
And then he really kissed me.
Liam Kennedy knew how to kiss a woman.
His movements were swift but gentle, and he covered my mouth with his. I opened to him, and he kissed me deeply, letting our tongues smoothly mingle in a warm, rhythmic dance. It was only a kiss yet the intimacy was astounding. I had never been so deeply moved by a man. Liam held me firmly, pouring love, emotion, and tenderness into me. He showed me what it was for a man to kiss a woman. It was like nothing I had ever experienced.
The tide was rising, and the ocean's waves began to break against my ankles. He took a step away from the shore, pulling me with him and making sure I kept my balance. He smiled at me before kissing me once more—a quick kiss on the lips like a period to go on the end of the sentence. He pulled back, regarding me with an unreadable expression.
"That's never happened to me before," I said. A new wave of chills covered my body just from admitting such a thing.
"I'm glad," he said.
"I mean, I've been kissed before, but I—"
"Nu-uh." Liam made a sound of disapproval, cutting me off before kissing me again. He did it quickly but placed it right on my mouth to keep me from saying anything else. I smiled at him, and we stared at each other for what must have been ten whole seconds.
He was wonderful.
I could've easily fallen in love with this man.
He could've easily come into my life and just turned it upside down. I was glad he lived so far away and that couldn't happen.
I was so swept away in this moment on the beach that I had to remind myself that it was time to get back to my life. I had a car waiting in the parking lot that would take me back to my normal routine, and Liam Kennedy had a flight to catch the following day that would take him back to his life on the other side of the country.
I let out a sigh. "I guess I should probably get going." I said hesitantly.
He gave me a small smile. "You mean we have to snap out of it and go back to real life?" he asked, reading my mind.
"I'm going to look at a dog tomorrow," I said, reminding myself of things that were going on in my life besides Liam.
"Really?" he asked.
I nodded. "I didn't mention it because I
doubt I'll get it. It's a puppy, and I don't think I have time for that. I just made the appointment yesterday because I was bored and sad."
"You're never bored," he said.
He was right. I was always really busy. I only used that term because I had been waiting for him to call.
We started walking back toward his hotel at a slow pace. We walked close enough to the shore that the waves continued to hit our feet.
"What kind of puppy?" he asked.
"Another Basset Hound," I said. "But like I said, I probably won't get it. I really don't think I have time to deal with a puppy. I might ask them if they have any older dogs for sale."
"Can I buy it for you?" he asked. "Whenever you do find a dog—would you let me buy it for you?"
I glanced at him curiously as if to ask why he would want to do such a thing, and he smiled.
"I'd just like to do that for you," he explained. "I mean, you can just pick out what you want and then call me and I'll pay for it. I'm sure whoever you buy it from will take a credit card over the phone, won't they?"
"Yeah but you don't need to do that."
"I know, but I would like to."
We stayed silent for several long seconds before he glanced at me and I shook my head.
"That's really sweet of you, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because if you buy a dog for me, Liam, I'm going to think of you when I look at him, which is every day."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Well, seeing as how you're going back home tomorrow, everything is wrong with it."
He put his arm around my shoulders as we walked, and I glanced up at him. I thought maybe I should shrug out of his grasp to make saying goodbye easier, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
"I'm not sure I agree with that," he said. "I really don't think that me giving you the money to buy a dog is going to make you think of me every time you look at him, and if it does, you were probably going to think about me, anyway."
Malibu by Moonlight Page 8