Really Nearly Deadly Canoe Ride

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Really Nearly Deadly Canoe Ride Page 4

by David Metzenthen


  ‘What happened in the end?’ I ask. Ahead, beyond a huge bridge, I can see the bay; it’s dark blue, which in my book of seamanship means it’s probably over my head, and deep enough to support a shark the size of a nuclear submarine.

  Shine paddles on the left, to keep the Wolverine’s bow heading into the choppy waves that have sprung up in the wind.

  ‘Well, Pod, luckily some very nice religious ladies turned up at the front door. But before they freed Gramps, they poked their brochures under the toilet door, and made him read ’em all out loud. He learnt a lot. It worked out fine.’

  There’s never a dull moment at the Diamonds’ house; whereas at my house, the gardening and composting centre of Sockby, it’s dull every minute of the year – although I’m starting to wish things were a bit duller around here, because I can now see those huge red cranes that unload container ships, meaning there must be ships not too far away.

  Meanwhile, we paddle under a bridge so tall and so wide it hides the sky.

  ‘I don’t get why they’d build this thing so tall.’ Shine looks up. ‘Surely ships can’t be that big?’

  The bridge must be almost a hundred metres above the water.

  ‘I hope not,’ I say. ‘Because this channel is where they go. Which we have to cross to get to Williamstown.’

  ‘Uncle Trevor tried to swim the English Channel once,’ Shine says. ‘But he got so exhausted three-quarters of the way across, he had to turn around, and swim all the way back. He was devastated.’

  ‘If that’s Williamstown over there,’ Shine says, as we come out from under the bridge, ‘we haven’t got too far to go.’

  Perhaps a kilometre ahead, across the channel, are low buildings, and the masts of hundreds of yachts.

  ‘Nope. Not too far.’ I look ahead. ‘All we’ve got to do is get across, and we’ll be home, safe and sound. No sweat.’

  Shine begins to paddle and so do I. The water looks deep. Very deep.

  Now I really start to look for ships.

  Chapter 14

  We’re on open water now, but thankfully the waves are not big, and the wind has died down. There are no ships coming in or going out, but I can see some tied up – massive things a million times bigger than the Wolverine. Behind us is the city, like a picture on a postcard, the buildings cutting a jigsaw shape into the blue sky.

  ‘I’m gunna take a few photos.’ Shine takes his disposable camera from his backpack. ‘And Poddy, you should ring the girls to see how they’re gettin’ on. And to tell them that we haven’t been sea-assaulted by a whale or squidnapped.’

  ‘Good idea.’ I keep paddling, without strength, my hands blistered, my shoulders tightened by bolts of pain. ‘We could turn back,’ I say suddenly, the fear I’ve been feeling rushing out. ‘Before we get right out into the channel. Canoes aren’t really made for the sea.’

  ‘We already are in the channel.’ Shiny takes photographs of the city, the docks, me, the Wolverine, and a few of himself. He then takes out his Dog and Bone phone. ‘We’ll be right, Poddy. Just think of good old Uncle Trevor and the cooking pots. You just ring the girls and tell ’em we’ll see ’em in half an hour. No drama.’

  I stop paddling and ring Virginia.

  ‘There’s been a change of plan, Pod,’ Virginia informs me, her voice so clear I’m certain I should be able to see her on the shore. ‘Jodie’s dad brought his boat down to do some fishing. So we might come on out and meet you.’

  Relief! Instantly my fear evaporates. Or most of it does. We’re safe! I press the phone to my life jacket.

  ‘Shine! They’re coming out to meet us in Jodie’s dad’s speedboat. So it’s plain sailing all the way to Willy! All right!’ I put the phone back up to my ear. ‘That’s great, Virginia. We’ll see you soon.’

  ‘Okay, Pod. We’ll come out just as soon as that big ship’s gone through.’

  Ship? What ship?

  THAT SHIP.

  A huge container ship has come out of a dock that was hidden behind another dock. Its black bow is so high and wide it looks like it will barely fit under the bridge. And it carries two monstrous iron anchors that must weigh ten tonnes each.

  ‘Virginia,’ I say. ‘I’ll get back to you, okay? It’s just that we happen to be right in front of that ship, so I’d better go.’

  ‘Oh, Pod.’ There’s a short silence before Virginia yells. ‘Paddle!’

  ‘Now, Shine,’ I add, handing his phone back, ‘I don’t want you to panic, but look to your right. Starboard, I mean.’

  Shine looks to the right, his face goes white, and then his mouth opens.

  ‘SHIIIIIIIP!’ His eyes seem to be stuck open. ‘We’re gunna die!’

  I feel calm, which is surprising, as my mother always tells anybody who will ever listen that I’m a highly strung, nervy, dithery, chooky, scatterbrained type of kid. ‘Not if we start paddling like crazy, we won’t. And keep it up until our arms fall off.’

  ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!’

  The ship’s horn is so loud it arrives like a gust of wind, and actually flattens the waves. There’s no room for anything else but the sound of that horn, the echo coming back as if it’s bounced off the entire city.

  Shine’s eyes open even wider. He looks like some sort of South American jungle bat. ‘Anyway, now that you mention it, Poddy, I think we’d better … PADDLE!’

  Chapter 15

  We paddle as hard as we can, the Wolverine slicing through the small, choppy waves – but compared to the ship, it’s as if we’re not moving at all. Its flared black bow, ten storeys high, smashes through the water, hurling out a wave as tall as a door.

  ‘Oh my God,’ mutters Shiny. ‘I’m not so sure dog-paddle will get me out of this.’

  The ship looms, seeming to get bigger and bigger, hunching its shoulders, gathering speed as it prepares for its battle with the open ocean.

  And we are nothing but a toothpick in its way.

  ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!’

  ‘Do you think he’s seen us?’ Shine shouts.

  ‘I think so, Shine!’ I shout back. ‘But he can’t stop. So paddle!’

  My body is fiery with pain as I paddle as hard and fast as I can. The shore looks so far away and the Wolverine seems so slow and fragile. And over and above everything is the ship, the sound of her engines a deep churning hum. And then there is her horn.

  ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!’

  ‘Go, Shine!’ I yell. ‘Go!’

  ‘Go, Pod!’ Shine yells. ‘Go!’

  We’re no longer in front of the ship, although it is now only about a hundred metres away. At this rate I figure we might not get run down, but simply swamped by the bow wave, dragged along its side, then sucked through the propeller. And I can say that I don’t fancy that.

  ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!’

  The ship’s horn rules the world. It is the loudest sound I’ve ever heard.

  ‘Oh, gimme a break,’ says Shine. ‘Please.’

  Ahead, a yellow and white speedboat comes racing towards us, bouncing confidently through the waves, bow up, as if it’s a dog searching through long grass for two rabbits – two rabbits called Pod and Shine, I hope.

  It must be Jodie’s dad and the girls.

  ‘There’s Jodie’s boat, Shine!’ I yell. ‘Keep paddling! Don’t stop!’

  I look at the ship. Waves slide helplessly down its side to where the propeller smashes them into foam. Then I see that the speedboat has veered away. It’s leaving us behind. Oh no! We’re gunna be crushed then smashed then shredded!

  ‘Keep paddlin’, Poddy!’ Shiny yells. ‘When the going gets tough, the tough rely on a Sugar Bix Quick Fix. So d’you want a – hey, they’re coming back!’

  The speedboat has done a U-turn and is skimming towards us, skittering over the waves as if it doesn’t have a care in the world. Unlike Shiny and me.

  ‘YEAH!’ Shiny yells, and drops his paddle. ‘I’ve got the rope!’ He holds it up. ‘They can tow us in! We’re gunna live, Pod
! We’re gunna save the Wolverine!’

  The ship is only fifty metres away, neither turning nor slowing, which it couldn’t do in less than half an hour anyway, so I doubt the captain’s even bothering to try.

  ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!’

  I look at the racing bow waves, the monstrous black hull, and those two anchors that are like enormous knuckledusters.

  ‘Or we could just get into the speedboat, Shine,’ I say. ‘And get the hell outta here.’

  The speedboat pulls up alongside, the girls on board, Jodie’s dad at the wheel.

  ‘Get in, boys!’ he yells. ‘The girls’ll help! Move! Now! It’s too dangerous to tow the canoe!’

  I look at Shine and Shine looks at me. We both nod.

  ‘You first, Shine,’ I say. ‘Then hold the canoe steady for me.’

  We paddle to the speedboat and pass our backpacks over. Then Shiny scrambles on board, turning to hold the Wolverine while Jodie and Virginia help me get out. Everything seems to be going in different directions, but I make it across, smacking my knee so hard I know I’ll be limping for a week.

  ‘Siddown and hold on!’ Jodie’s dad shouts. ‘We’re off!’

  The twin outboard motors yowl. We take off as if shot from a gun.

  ‘Boy,’ says Shine, slumping like a wet sack, ‘these seats are nice. Are they leather or vinyl, Jode?’

  Behind us the Wolverine bobs in the waves, abandoned. I feel terrible. I watch it drifting, falling back, like a friend we’ve left to die.

  ‘If we’d tried to tow you and the canoe had tipped,’ Jodie says, ‘we would’ve all been in trouble. It’s bad news, I know, but my dad said this was the safest way.’

  That’s true, but I can hardly watch as the ship draws level with the Wolverine, the bow wave flipping it up then swamping it. But the Wolverine doesn’t sink.

  ‘It might not get sucked into the propeller,’ Shiny says. ‘It won’t drift full of water like that. It might just stay where it is.’

  ‘It might,’ I say, as the ship slides by, the Wolverine just metres away from it, wallowing, like a little wounded whale. ‘We’ll soon see.’

  Jodie’s dad slows the speedboat.

  ‘Here goes,’ Shine mumbles. ‘Good luck, little Woolly. Good luck.’

  I’d swear the Wolverine is going to be drawn into the thrashing propeller – but, like an exhausted swimmer, it stays afloat, and the ship passes by.

  We cheer!

  Chapter 16

  We’ve towed the Wolverine into shore, and while Jodie’s dad, Steve, loads his boat back onto its trailer, the four of us rest. I feel sore all over, exhausted, totally shell-shocked by this afternoon’s action. The ship has already gone, a hundred thousand tonnes disappeared into thin air.

  ‘Well, Poddy,’ says Shine, ‘I think we’d better bring down the Permanent Cone of Silence on today’s little adventure, and get on that train as soon as possible. Because if we’re late, my mum’ll freak out thinkin’ that I’ve hurt myself dancing at the Moonlight Disco.’

  I’m not looking forward to carrying the canoe on the train, even if the station isn’t far away. I am so tired I could sleep right where I am.

  ‘My dad will take the canoe home for you,’ Jodie says. ‘But he said it’s up to you guys to tell your folks what happened.’

  ‘Too easy.’ Shine folds his life jacket and tosses it into the Wolverine. ‘Honesty’s the best policy, Jodie. I’ll just say we had a lovely time at the disco, and I’m considering ballroom dancing as a career. Now that I’ve seen how exciting it is.’

  I don’t say anything; Shiny’s my best mate, and sometimes you simply have to go along with what your best mate says, no matter how mad it is.

  ‘Your hands are like ice, Pod!’ Virginia is suddenly squeezing them tight. ‘They’re freezing.’

  I’m so shocked to be holding hands with her in public, I forget to be shocked.

  ‘Yours are as warm as toast.’ They are. I squeeze them as I look into Virginia’s dark eyes. ‘And if we didn’t thank you for hauling our butts out of there, well, thanks. I mean, I think we would’ve made it, anyway. But it would’ve been quite bad if we didn’t. Like, we’d be twenty metres underwater.’

  ‘Yep,’ says Shine. ‘And that would be a problem. Anyway, Sugar Bix bubblegum anyone? It’s got special titanium grains designed to take the enamel off your teeth so they’re whiter and brighter and stronger for longer.’

  No one wants Sugar Bix bubblegum, not even Shine. He gives it to the seagulls.

  ‘The great thing about you two girls,’ he adds, ‘is that you’re like our best mates, except chicks. You’re brave, too. And you’re both so pretty I can’t even tell which one is the prettiest. I mean, sometimes I think it’s Jodie by a mile, then no, I think it’s Virginia. Then I just give up and think you’re both beautiful.’

  As we let that sink in, we look across the channel to the city. And I’d be quite happy, I must say, to sit here holding Virginia’s hands for the next two weeks.

  ‘We gotta do stuff like this more often,’ I blurt out. ‘All of us. Together. Because today’s been such a great day. I don’t want it to end.’

  ‘Well, it will end.’ Shiny nods. ‘But tomorrow’ll be even better, Poddy, because Sundays are always sunny.’

  I laugh. ‘That’s a good theory, Shine,’ I say. ‘It might even be right.’

  ‘It’s not, Pod.’ Shiny grins. ‘I just said it to make you laugh.’

  Which is why, because he’s the craziest dude in Sockby, I’d go on just about any – well, nearly any – adventure that Morris ‘Shiny-Boy’ Diamond could ever come up with.

  ‘Anyway, Poddy,’ Shine adds. ‘You know them old railway trolleys with the handles you push and pull to make ’em go? Well, I know where one is. And it’s not even hardly chained up. We should check it out one day. It’s just near a really nice long slope.’

  Er … sweet!

  About David Metzenthen

  I wrote this story because I really like genuinely home-made adventures. I also wanted to show that no matter where you grow up (I grew up in a Melbourne suburb), that place will always remain special, and important, to you.

 

 

 


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