by Lee Kilraine
I didn’t know how my dad did it. How he made it through. How he didn’t blame me in his grief. I just know he didn’t. And his love for me, while he was processing losing the love of his life, was what had helped me go on.
Each morning when I woke up in the hospital, not wanting to face what was ahead, I’d look at my dad, who came to visit me every day, and told myself if Dad could do this, I could too. So I made a deal with myself. Even on the days I wanted to lay in bed and feel sorry for myself, I had to get up and try. Just a little. Give a little each day.
I made it a day at a time. Surgeries. Moving from the ER to ICU to a six-month stay at a rehab facility. Recovery from a traumatic brain injury. Being bedridden, navigating a wheelchair, and therapy. Lots of therapy. Upgrading from a wheelchair, to a walker, to crutches, and then finally, finally to my own two feet. Relearning how to use my right arm. Relearning how to walk. Another surgery. More therapy. Every day I gave a little.
I honestly don’t know how long I sat in the van. Could’ve been ten minutes. Could’ve been an hour. I sort of checked out mentally. My sweet Sully rested his head on my leg, eventually falling asleep while I fell apart.
It was the light tap on my window that woke Sully from his nap and pulled me out of my pity party.
Chapter 14
Tessa
I turned and there was Sue Ellen Rogers and her dog Trixie smiling and grinning at me. Sue Ellen was doing the smiling and grinning, not Trixie. Trixie was slobbering on my window. I rolled the window down.
“Hey, Sue Ellen. I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m fine. I really am. I know I promised I’d make it to your house for Trixie’s party. I just didn’t get it to work today.”
“Honey, that’s why we came to you.” She smiled, gesturing with her arm over toward my front lawn. Sure enough, it was like a P.D. Eastman dog party on the grass. “You’re only one neighborhood over, and we needed the exercise. Now, our puppies are hungry. Gosh, if only there was a place nearby where we could get some homemade, organic dog treats…”
“I believe I know of a place just like that.” If I didn’t have so many hungry puppies standing waiting, I probably would’ve cried. How lucky am I to have such sweet, supportive friends? Instead, I jumped up, moved into the aisle and to the back of the van, and propped opened my service window. “Welcome to Bow Wow Meow, Tessa’s Mobile Pet Treats. I’m open for business. What can I get you?”
The next hour was pure fun. The dogs ran around the yard, Sully joining in with the wild play. We ended up setting up a few communal water bowls for the panting dogs. The treats were gobbled up and even though I refused to charge for them today, Sue Ellen stuck a cup up on the counter for “tips” and people found a way to pay anyway.
The party was wrapping up when I saw Gray leaning up against the van chatting with Sue Ellen. When had he arrived? I hadn’t spoken to him in three weeks and those last words had been heated, so yes, I was surprised to see him here.
When Sue Ellen and her friends headed down the sidewalk with a wave, I plopped myself sideways onto the driver’s seat to rest. Gray opened the passenger door and sat inside with a very happy to see him Sully in his arms.
“That looked successful.” He looked at my face, then turned to survey the inside of the van. “When did you officially open?”
“Two hours ago.”
His gaze found mine again. “Today was your first day? Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I was tired, sore, and hungry. But generous friends had helped me turn a sharp disappointment into something special. I’d be forever grateful to them.
Gray leaned toward me, peering at the van’s dash, then settled back. “I thought the point of a mobile treat truck is that it’s mobile. You can drive it around to different places.”
“I guess some people use that technique.” I shrugged. Yes, I felt a small clutch in my chest, but he didn’t know about my accident. About my mother. Or my anxiety issues about getting behind the wheel again. And I didn’t tell him. I didn’t tell many people. It still hurt too much. My throat went tight with guilt, which made it hard to talk whenever the subject came up.
He watched me with sharp eyes, and I was sure he saw too much. But he let it go.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. He looked gorgeous. His dark blond hair a bit longer than he usually kept it, but it only looked sexier. His eyes looked bluer than I’d remembered but that might have more to do with the tired smudges under his eyes.
“I brought you plans for your kitchen,” he said, his gaze moving away from me.
“I thought we put the proposal for the reno on hold. In fact, I’m sure we did.”
“We did.” He nodded as he scratched Sully behind his right ear. “But I kept seeing you trying to bake your dog biscuits in your small, outdated kitchen, and…it’s not a big deal. I just threw them together. You don’t even have to do anything with them. I was just—”
“Gray Thorne, are you embarrassed?” I leaned into his space to look at his face more closely.
“No.” He shrugged and huffed out a breath. “No. Would you like to look or not? I have other things I could be doing rather than have you bust my chops.”
Bust his chops? My lips wiggled, but I straightened them when his eyes whipped over accusingly. “Sure. I’d love to look. Let’s go in the kitchen and look.”
We walked into the house and straight back to the kitchen. I was moving a bit slower after being on my feet for hours. I could feel myself limp and slowed down even more to control it. I would need to soak in the tub tonight and have some quality time with my heating pad.
I made myself a cup of tea and served us each a piece of cake before sitting at the table where Gray had opened his laptop.
“You baked this?” he asked, already chewing a bite.
“Hmm mm,” I responded, taking a sip of my peppermint tea, my eyes already moving over Gray’s plans.
“Damn, Tessa, why don’t you open a bakery? I mean for people.” He pointed his fork at the slice of carrot zucchini cake with cream cheese frosting. “This is good. Really good.”
“Thanks, but there are lots of bakeries around.” And as much as I loved baking cakes, the treat truck was also a way for me to help homebound people—people dealing with medical emergencies or debilitating conditions—keep their pets. Getting Sully when I’d left the rehab facility had been an emotional life-saver. Selling the treats would, hopefully, be my livelihood, but it would also be much more.
“True. But not with cakes this good.”
I glanced over and saw his cake was finished. I pushed my own untouched piece across to him. “Knock yourself out. How about I sit here and sip my tea while you tell me about the plans?”
“Sure. First, I’ve taken out this wall on the west side of the kitchen. That pushes it back to increase the footprint, giving you a lot more square footage, making it a nice working space. That extends both of the counter runs, allowing for more appliances.”
“Space is definitely my biggest issue.”
“I noticed that you’re one of those people who really loves the sun—”
“How can you tell I love the sun?”
“Every time we’ve gone outside to look at the van, you tilt your face up to the sun when you first step outside. So I extended the window over the sink to nine feet long. And I brought it all the way down to just above the counter. I added a wide six-inch windowsill for plants. You have room for a double sink if you want. I figured if you’re going to do a lot of baking that might be a good idea as far as washing pans goes.”
I absolutely loved sunlit spaces. I always had, even before my extended time stuck in buildings with cold, sterile florescent lighting.
“I’ve included separate industrial refrigerator and freezer columns, full width, which gives plenty of room. Your baking trays will fit in there for quick chilling.”
“Oooh, that’s perfect.” Not only could I chill dough, but I could also flash freeze fresh fruits and vegetables.
“On the other counter run, I kept your marble baking counter, because that seemed to work well, but also you seem emotionally connected to it.”
“Yes. It was both my mother’s and my grandmother’s. It means a lot to me.”
“The double oven stack is on the end of the run. Next to the ovens, I’ve included a double upper cabinet. It will have stacked gliders for you to slide your baking pans onto as soon as they come out of the oven for cooling. I remember you were juggling pans in and out of the oven baking your treats with barely enough room on the counters. This cabinet will solve that problem. And having the baking pans stacked in an upper cabinet will keep them from tempting Sully.”
I blinked up at him, amazed at all the little details that he was coming up with that I wouldn’t have even thought of.
“But wait… There’s more.” He grinned over at me and threw me a sexy wink. “There’s a cabinet to store your stand mixer. All you have to do is open it and it raises up so you don’t have to lift the mixer. It stores just as easily. Next to your baking center, I’ve got a pull out cabinet so you have your high-use bakery supplies easily at hand: flour, oatmeal, sugar. That type of thing. It’s right where you need it and saves you making lots of trips back and forth to your pantry.”
“That’s efficient. Especially since I’ll be baking almost daily.”
“A large center island which gives you lots of work space. I’ve placed a built-in bed for Sully at the far end. At the other end, there’s a toe-kick drawer for Sully’s bowl of snacks or treats. Easily accessible and easy to hide out of the way.”
“I like it.” Was my heart melting a little with all the thought he’d put into Sully? Yes. Sure it was probably the same thoughtful care any good designer gave to a client, but I was touched.
“I did put brand new kitchen cabinets in here, but I would move these original ones to this space over here and create a butler’s pantry. I remember when we first talked, you said the one thing you wanted to do was keep your kitchen the same, only you couldn’t. And the six coats of paint probably have a lot of memories, so I figured if we utilize them in your butler’s pantry it would let you keep the memory, yet still get you the new kitchen you need.”
Gray’s attention to detail was impressive.
“The last highlights are a six-burner cooktop with a built-in grill and a hood vent with your choice of material. I’d suggest a hammered copper to keep the old-world feel of the space.” He sat back, looked at the plans then back at me. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re amazing at what you do. I can’t believe you picked up on all these things I didn’t even notice myself. I love everything about this kitchen.”
“I didn’t do this to pressure you, Tessa. If you’re still getting quotes from other companies that’s not a problem. I just put it together because it was on my mind after watching you bake in here.”
Our eyes locked. We were saying something to each other but I wasn’t sure either one of us knew what it was. I just knew for a few seconds I couldn’t look away.
I failed with driving today. So, maybe this was my chance to take the next step forward. After paying for medical expenses and the purchase of Gigi’s house, I had enough of the settlement money from the trucking company left for the renovation. This was the next step toward my new life. I needed to do this. I nodded, looking back at Gray.
“I love it. And if you guys can put me on your schedule, I would love it if Six Brothers Construction would handle my kitchen remodel. Probably the sooner the better before I lose my nerve.”
Gray’s lips slid into a slow smile. “Okay. We can absolutely get you on the books and get going with this.”
“If I’m trusting you with my kitchen, I’ll certainly trust you with the rest of the house.” I shook my head with frustration. “It’s just when it comes to that, Gray, honestly, I’m still clueless about what I want. And I’m not being stubborn. I’m not. In fact, I’ll have you know during the last three weeks, whenever I sat down on my couch, I was watching the home channel. I thought it might help me figure out what I wanted in my house. But it was too much. Too much all at once. Too much to see. Too much to figure out. I got frustrated. So I’m at a loss.”
“Tessa, you’ve come to the right man. Here’s what I suggest we do. Why don’t you meet me at the SBC offices tomorrow? Together we’ll help you narrow down your style, color, and architecture choices.”
“It’s worth a shot. Okay, we’ve got a date. I mean an appointment.”
Chapter 15
Gray
“Gray, Tessa Madigan is here for your meeting,” Eli said from the door to my office. I looked up from my computer to see her standing in the doorway next to my brother.
“Tessa, great.” I stood, walking around my desk to usher her in. I was afraid she wouldn’t show up with all the times she’d cancelled on me before. “Come on in.”
Eli gave me a grin and a thumbs up behind her back, and I gave him a quick shake of the head. Which escalated Eli to bobbing his eyebrows up and down, so I sent him my grow-up-and-cut-that-shit-out look. Which rarely worked on Eli.
“Sorry I had to schedule so late in the day.” She was dressed in a gray long-sleeved shirt, a worn pair of blue jeans, and the flats she always wore.
“A couple of us are working late tonight, and we’re getting Red Dragon. Want us to order something for you and Tessa since you’ll be working through dinner also?” Now Eli had a wide cheesy smile which his blond beard did nothing to hide.
“That sounds great. Tessa? Does that sound okay to you?” Maybe she’d be the voice of reason and keep this strictly business only and not fuzzy up the line.
“I’d love it.” She smiled at me and then moved it over to Eli. “But only if they offer MSG-free.”
“Exactly.” Eli pointed a finger at her. “We’ll place an order in an hour.” He made a click noise with his mouth, and was gone, the door shut behind him.
“Okay. A working dinner.” I clapped my hands together, sending Tessa an enthusiastic smile. “Let’s sit down and get started.”
I guided her over to the small table I had in the corner of my office, completely keeping my gaze and mind off her slim, sleek figure. Her curves were subtle, but there. Not that I was noticing. Nope. Not noticing. Not noticing her light floral scent either. Nope. Didn’t even notice the fresh smell of citrus of her hair when I helped her settle into a chair.
“Actually, before we begin… I signed the kitchen contract you emailed me last night. I’d like to pay the deposit and set a day to start.” She released a nervous laugh. “Once I make a decision, I like to move on it. Life’s short, you know?”
“Let me grab your paperwork.” I moved back to my desk, selected her file from the stack and returned with the calendar and the payment schedule. “As far as a start date, we can start as soon as next week.”
“Perfect.” Tessa pulled her wallet from her purse, wrote out a check, and handed it over. “I’ll take the first available day.”
“I’ll check with Frank and see when his crew can be available for demo and get back to you.” Beck would be happy. I was pretty sure he thought I’d blown this sale. There were days if not weeks when I’d thought I’d blown it too. “Now, let’s see if we can find a way to help you with the rest of your renovation.”
Running along the wall behind the table I had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves full of books on style, color, and architecture along with sample catalogues from various vendors I worked with. I had sample mood boards made for just this purpose. And I had plenty of my go-to websites for design.
Tessa released a quick breath. “I’m sorry to be such a pain. I’ll try not to frustrate you too much, but know that if I do, it’s unintentional.”
Frustrate me? I had a fond memory of the first few meetings with Tessa, back when my frustration was due to her contrariness. Hell, instead of complaining I should have been counting my blessings. Because lately my frustration with Tessa was different. Now, I was frustrated because she kept invading my thoughts. Now, it was because her quirky and unpredictable personality made me smile more often than frown. Because of the way her big green eyes went soft when she looked at her dog or spoke to her dad, but also bright with passion when she talked about her business and her plans.
I wanted to taste that passion and wrap myself up in that softness. I wouldn’t for a variety of reasons, but that want was still there. It burned in my gut. I’d already sliced my hands through her curls and grabbed her to me for a deep, wet kiss. I’d taken her soft lips. I’d tasted them. I’d plundered them with my tongue. And I wasn’t talking about in my dreams. I couldn’t be on account of I wasn’t sleeping. No, these kisses had happened in my head while I lay in bed wide awake not sleeping.
But I was a professional. I could set aside any personal feelings and focus on the client’s needs. I would set aside my fascination with Tessa and give her the attention she needed as a client.
Although it suddenly struck me that something was different today.
“Where’s Sully?” I’d never seen her without her dog.
“He’s having a playdate with his brother, Sampson, my dad’s dog. The two of them go crazy together, and pretty much drive my father bananas. Which he secretly loves.” She laughed. “He’s got a big fenced-in yard, so Sully gets a chance to run around. Tires both the dogs out and then my dad drops him back at my place and everyone’s happy.”
“Sounds like a perfect setup. All right, if you’re ready, let’s get started. First off, it’s not unusual for someone to have no idea what they like or want in their most personal spaces. People live busy lives. And sometimes figuring out your style takes time.”
“So, what you’re saying is there’s hope for me.”