“Call security,” one of the executives said to another. “Hurry!”
With the crazed and disturbing look in my eyes, I was sure that they thought I was strapped. I wished I were, but unfortunately I wasn’t. Cedric had finally stood up and tried to push me away from him.
“Chill the fuck out!” he shouted while shielding his face. “Stop acting a damn fool and get a grip of yourself!”
He locked his arms around my waist and squeezed so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. I started pounding my fists at his back and a few minutes later two security guards rushed into the room. They pulled me away from him and locked my arms behind my back.
With a busted lip, Cedric plopped down in the chair and took several deep breaths. “Get her the fuck out of here. Call the police and have her arrested.”
“You bastard!” I shouted and tried to spit on him. The security guards had to drag me out of the room, because I continued to charge at him and had fallen on my knees. I never, ever thought I was capable of getting my clown on like this, but I couldn’t control my actions. Not until he was out of my sight.
Almost an hour later, the security guards released me and told me to leave the premises. I was also told to never come back. Apparently, they were following the orders of my husband, who had obviously changed his mind about having me arrested.
While in the car, I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I called Dr. Woodrow to apologize for my behavior earlier. He told me that he wanted me to come back in for a full examination. He also said he would call in my prescription to the nearest Walgreens.
Yet again, I was humiliated as I stood at the pharmacy counter to pick up my medicine. There I was . . . walking around like a classy bitch with chlamydia. Pussy was all fucked up. There was no doubt that I was dying to get my hands on Cedric again. This mess was far from over. I just didn’t have time to deal with it tonight. So instead of going home, I called Trina to see if she was home. She wasn’t there, so I contacted Evelyn. She answered and I asked her if I could stop by.
“Sure. I don’t have any plans and I’ll be here all evening,” she said.
“I’m on my way.”
When I arrived at Evelyn’s place, she buzzed me right in. This time, it was me who needed comfort. I needed her to lend me an ear, give me some advice, and show me some support. But unfortunately, when I broke the news to Evelyn, she appeared just as taken aback as I was. Even her eyes filled with tears and she covered her mouth.
“You have got to be kidding me, Kayla. Wha—did—was the doctor sure about that?”
“Yes! Very sure. I’ve been walking my dumb tail around here in denial, dissing my son and believing every single lie that Cedric has told me. I feel like such a fool. I swear to God that I could kill him right about now.”
Evelyn still didn’t have much to say. She got up from the couch and went into the kitchen to get some water. She didn’t even bother to offer me any, which wasn’t surprising because I had obviously forgotten how selfish my best friend was at times. So selfish that I didn’t feel at ease talking to her about this anymore.
I snatched up my purse, tucking it underneath my arm. “I’m going home to talk to Jacoby. I’ll call you later.”
Not saying another word, she walked me to the door and opened it. “I hope everything will be okay. That’s a shame what Cedric did to you and he knows better.”
I shrugged and moved forward to make my way to the elevator. Evelyn called my name and I swung around with anger displayed on my face.
“I don’t mean to bring this up right now, but please don’t forget about the money you promised me. I’m really in need, okay?”
Well, ain’t that about a bitch? I was in need too, but she obviously didn’t care. “Sure, Evelyn. I’ll be sure to take care of that for you.”
“Thanks.”
I walked off and heard her close the door before I even made it to the elevator. Something was going on with her, but I didn’t have time to worry about her, especially when I was trying to deal with all of this.
This time, I drove to Trina’s place to see if I would get a different reaction from her. I felt down and out and needed somebody to be there for me. But as soon as I parked my car in a parking spot at Trina’s apartment complex, I saw her sitting in the car with the pastor’s wife, Cynthia. I was getting ready to get out of my car and go speak to her, but then I saw Cynthia lean in closer to Trina. It looked as if they were kissing. I squinted to get a closer look, noticing that they were.
I covered my mouth and sat still as if cement had been poured over me. I watched as the two of them laughed and kissed several more times before eventually getting out of the car and going inside. Several lights were on, but then they went out. I was sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. Why in the hell was all of this coming down on me in one day? My best friend was a dyke? I couldn’t believe it. And the pastor’s wife . . . oh my, God! Really? What in the hell was going on? Why didn’t I see the people in my life for who or what they really were? A dyke? Damn!
I refused to let Trina get away with lies, and what excuse could she come up with now? I felt so betrayed. The only time Trina was being truthful with me was when she wanted my money. Only then would she speak the truth. All of this other mess was a lie. She was living one big lie and had me believing that she and Keith were in love.
The wrinkles on my forehead deepened with every step that I took to her door. I banged on the door, knowing that she would do her best to avoid answering it. Little did she know, I wasn’t going anywhere. I banged so loudly that one of her neighbors opened her door and went off.
“Damn, she’s not in there. Come back next week or next year, and stop bangin’ so hard before you wake up my son.”
I ignored the black woman who needed to take her crusty-looking tail back inside and mind her own business. Today wasn’t the day to mess with me. Little did she know, she was about to catch hell. I continued to bang on the door, but Trina didn’t answer.
“I know you’re in there, Trina!” I shouted. “Open the door!”
“Bitch,” the neighbor hissed. “Did you hear anythang I just said to you? I got a baby in here tryin’ to sleep. Unless you gon’ brang yo’ ass up in here and stay with him all night then I suggest you stop knockin’ on her door like dat and take yo’ uppity-ass back where you came from.”
I turned and shot daggers at her with the look in my eyes. “Would you like to hear my suggestion to you? Take yo’ ass back inside and put a plug in your freaking ears, bitch. If not that, go run some bathwater so you don’t hear me knocking. You look like you could use a hot shower—and a lengthy one at that.”
As soon as the woman stepped forward, Trina opened the door. She was wearing a purple silk robe and had on a pair of house shoes. Her short hair was messy and not a drop of makeup was on her face.
“What is going on out here?” she questioned. “Kayla, why are you out here banging on my door like you’re Five-O?”
I folded my arms across my chest. “Because I would like to speak to you now, if you don’t mind.”
“Please let that bitch get whatever she gots on her chest off of it,” the woman said.
“And please gift-wrap this bitch a dictionary, because she really needs one.”
Trina pulled me inside and slammed the door. She turned on the light and stood looking at me like I was the crazy one. “What is it, Kayla? I was trying to get some rest. What is so important that you have to speak to me right now?”
“Don’t play me like a fool, Trina. Where is she?”
Trina cocked her head back. “Where is who? What are you talking about?”
I figured she wouldn’t be truthful with me. Hell, nobody was, so what did I expect? Instead of asking her again, I started to search her living-room closets.
“What are you doing?” Trina said, following behind me.
“I’m searching for the truth. That’s what I’m doing.”
“The truth about what?”
> “You’ll know when I find it.”
I continued to walk around her apartment, searching every closet and looking underneath everything that I could see under.
“You need to leave, Kayla,” Trina said. “Leave now or I’ll have you arrested.”
“Yeah, well, it won’t be the first police threat of the day. Feel free to call whomever you wish to.”
Trina stormed away from me and went into the other room. That was when I went into the bathroom and yanked the shower curtain aside. Inside stood Cynthia, covering her nakedness with a towel.
“I—I was just borrowing Trina’s shower and—”
“Get out!” Trina said, pointing to the door. “How dare you come into my home as if you own it! Who in the hell do you think you are, Kayla? Who?”
I turned around and darted my finger at her. “I thought I was your best friend, Trina! The one who you share your freaking secrets with! The one who I could depend on when I needed you! The one who wouldn’t lie to me about anything and the one person who I seriously thought I could trust! But who are you, Trina? Who in the hell are you, because you damn sure aren’t my best friend!”
“I am that and then some! But—but I’m also gay!” Trina’s voice softened. “I don’t like men, but I do love women. So now you know, Kayla. Now . . . now you know my secret. So tell me. How does it feel to have a best friend who prefers to make love to women?”
I truly thought I was dreaming. God, please let me wake up from this dream and start this day all over again. But when I turned to look at Cynthia, it was all real. I looked at Trina and there she was staring at me, waiting for a response.
“You disgust me,” I said, releasing deep breaths. “This is disgusting. How could you be over here having sex with the pastor’s wife and then go to his church and call yourself a Christian? You’re no friend of mine, Trina. I would be a fool to ever refer to you as one again. Don’t you ever call me again, and as for you—” I turned to Cynthia. “You had better get on your knees and pray like hell for God to forgive you. What kind of woman are you? How dare you have others refer to you as the first lady of the church? How dare you?” I shouted.
I rushed out of the bathroom and bumped my shoulder with Trina’s on the way out. She softly called my name, but I didn’t bother to turn around. I got the hell out of there and drove to the nearest hotel so I could somehow or some way sort this mess out.
Chapter Eleven
Trina
I didn’t feel so good after Kayla left. She didn’t understand that this had nothing to do with her. It was more about not wanting anyone to know what was going on with me. I was so outdone that I made Cynthia put her clothes back on, and I asked her to leave. She, however, removed the towel from around her and straddled my lap as I sat in a chair.
“I’m not going anywhere and I’m here for you. Kayla is going to have to get over it. She has some nerves standing in judgment of us, and there are times when you can’t help who you have feelings for. One day she’ll understand. In the meantime, please don’t let this stress you out.”
“I can’t help it. I feel bad for not being honest with her. I know that you’ll be there for me, but I really need to be alone right now.”
Cynthia removed herself from my lap and said nothing else as she got dressed. She kissed my cheek and headed for the door. “Hope to see you on Sunday,” she said. “No matter what, we all still need Jesus.”
She didn’t lie about that, but hearing those words come from her kind of went in one ear and out the other. It was one thing to be gay, but then to be married and carrying on the way she was, wasn’t right. I was participating in the mess too. I felt horrible for doing so. It was time to clean up the crap, but before I did anything I called Kayla to speak to her. She didn’t answer so I left a message on her voice mail.
“I get that you’re upset with me for not being honest with you, but please call me back so we can discuss this. I need to clear the air. After that, if you still don’t wish to mend our friendship, so be it. At least hear me out and try to understand where I’m coming from.”
I hung up and then called Evelyn to see if Kayla had called her. I hoped she hadn’t, because I sure didn’t want Evelyn to know my secret.
“She was over here earlier,” Evelyn said. “But she left pretty upset about her and Cedric getting into it.”
“About what this time? She needs to consider letting him go.”
“Maybe this time she will. Apparently, he gave her a sexually transmitted disease. I’m not sure how he’s going to explain that to her, but knowing him, he’ll think of something.”
“Are you serious?” I shouted. My heart went out to Kayla. Now I knew why she was so upset. Maybe this didn’t have anything to do with me. She just caught me at a bad time. I was even more eager now to speak to her.
“That’s awful. Do you have any idea where she’s at? I tried to reach her on her phone, but she didn’t answer.”
“I have no idea where she’s at, but I’m not looking for her right now. I’m trying to find Cedric, the one who I would love to give a piece of my mind.”
“I want to get at him too, especially for doing Kayla like that. She recommended that we stay out of her business, but this is downright ridiculous.”
“Yeah, it is. But look. I gotta go. I need to get out of here for a while and I’m supposed to meet Marc for dinner.”
“Maybe we can hook up on Sunday. I have information about a job you might be interested in, so I’ll pass that on to you.”
“Fine. I’ll call you on Sunday and we’ll go from there.”
Evelyn hung up, but unlike her, I was very interested in where Kayla was. So interested that I put on my sweatpants and a hoodie, got in my car and drove to her house. Jacoby was there. He opened the door to invite me inside.
“Is your mother home yet,” I asked.
“Nope.”
“Do you know where she’s at?”
“Yep.”
“Do you mind telling me?”
“She asked me not to tell anyone.”
“Jacoby, please. I need to see her and it is so urgent that I do.”
As we stood in the foyer, we heard the garage door open. I rushed around the corner to see who it was, but it was Cedric. He looked at me and at Jacoby, who was standing behind me.
“What’s going on?” he questioned. “What are you doing in my house?”
“I’m here looking for Kayla. Do you have any idea where she’s at?”
“No, I don’t. But you can stay here and wait for her, if you’d like to. I’m sure she’ll be coming home soon; after all, where else is she going to go?”
I turned around to Jacoby and addressed him first. “Please forgive me for saying this and I truly mean no harm.” I faced Cedric and pointed my finger near his face. “You are such an asshole. You’re married to a beautiful woman and all you can do is figure out ways to treat her like shit. I look forward to the day when you have to bow down to her and beg for forgiveness. I pray that whenever that day comes, she’ll spit in your face and have the guts to tell you to go to hell.”
Cedric casually removed his jacket and started to unbutton his crisp white shirt. “Are you done? If so, you can get the fuck out of my house. If not, for the first time, my son will have to witness me kick a woman’s ass like she stole something from me. But then again, you’re not really all woman, are you? You like pussy too much to be a woman, and there is a possibility that you even love pussy more than me. So, man-to-man, mind your own business. Don’t worry about Kayla, because at the end of the day, I got her back and front, not you.”
Before I could open my mouth, Jacoby tugged on my arm. I turned around and he nudged his head toward the door. I hated to go there like this with Cedric. It took everything I had in me not to chew him up further. Jacoby walked away and I followed. As soon we went outside, he told me where Kayla was. I gave him a squeezing hug and drove to the Embassy Suites by the airport.
Jacoby told m
e Kayla was in room 324, so I went to that room and knocked. Kayla asked who I was, but fearing that she wouldn’t open the door, I put my finger over the peephole and whispered “room service.” She opened the door. When she saw that it was me, she walked away from it.
I went inside and stood in front of her as she sat on a couch with her hands covering her face. Her braids were in a ponytail, and she wore a long pajama shirt that was almost down to her knees.
“What do you want, Trina? Why are you here?”
“First, I want to say that I’m sorry about what has happened between you and Cedric. I’m not going to say anything negative about him, but please figure out a way to deal with him. He’s out of control. As for our friendship, the only reason I didn’t tell you about me being gay was because I knew you would react the exact same way that you did. I was afraid of losing our friendship, and my being gay has nothing to do with how I’ve treated you as a friend. I may have lied to you about this, but it was because of my own insecurities. I didn’t want anybody to know, so please do not go around spreading my business to other people, including Evelyn. When I’m ready to tell her, I will. In the meantime, if you would prefer to end our friendship like this, I’ll have to deal with it. It won’t be the first time I lost those closest to me because of my preferences, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. The choice is yours, Kayla. Just let me know what’s up either way.”
Kayla lifted her head and took a deep breath. She shook her head and her eyes searched me. “You know what, Trina? I do not have time for any of this. The only thing on my mind is what in the hell am I going to do about my marriage. Who you love or who you have sex with is not important to me. I don’t have time to sit here and talk about this with you, but I will say this: I don’t trust you and I never will. I thought I knew who you were, but I don’t. I’ve shared some of my deepest secrets with you, yet you lied to me when I inquired about you being gay. I’m in a place where I don’t want to be around anybody. So why don’t you just leave and go be with whoever you want to be with. It doesn’t mater how I feel about what you’re doing—and why are you so adamant about seeking my approval?”
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