My eyes watered because I was so confused. I thought I was done with men, especially after my first love, BJ, had done me so wrong. He beat me and dared me to tell anyone. He threatened to kill me, and raped me whenever I told him I didn’t want to have sex. I hated him so much that I told myself that if love ever presented itself again, that love would be for another woman. Especially after my ex went to jail, I continued to pursue women. Now things had changed. I didn’t know what I wanted going forward, but for right now, I wanted Keith.
“Nothing,” I said after a hard swallow.
“Tell me,” he repeated. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”
Silence soaked the room. I squeezed my arms around his neck and placed my lips close to his ear. “I—I’m thinking that I’m gay and—”
“No, you’re not. Confused, unsure, hurt . . . but definitely not gay.”
“How can you be so sure that I’m not?”
“Because . . .” Keith squatted and laid me back on the floor. “Because if you were gay, your pussy wouldn’t be able to react to me the way it just did, your body wouldn’t tremble like it has done all night, and if a woman was truly who you wanted to be with then you would totally reject me. There’s still time to do it, and all you have to do is walk out that door and leave.”
I replied to him by turning on my stomach and backing my ass up to him. He was crazy if he thought I was going to depart from this—there wasn’t a chance in hell that I would. We displayed our artistic talents to each other for the next few hours, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t leave his house the next morning feeling like a brand-new woman.
Chapter Fifteen
Kayla
I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I left the guest room and went to go watch TV in the living room. That was where I fell asleep on the couch, hoping that Trina would come in and wake me. But by six o’clock in the morning, she still wasn’t home. I assumed she was with Lexi. I was thankful that they hadn’t come back here to finish up what had gotten started at the restaurant. Seeing what I saw made me very uncomfortable. I had a hard time accepting Trina’s status and I felt kind of bad for walking out of the restaurant last night. But her girl Lexi was working me. She was so needy and she irritated the hell out of me. Surely Trina could do better and as far as I could see it, she had made some really bad choices with women.
Keith, however, was a different story. He was an extremely attractive man, but Trina didn’t seem to be giving him much play. That was her loss because I would take him any day over that Lexi chick and Cynthia.
Thinking about my bad choices with men and about how much I didn’t have much room to talk, I got up to take a shower. Like the rest of Trina’s place, the bathroom was very colorful. Pink, yellow, green, and purple daisies accessorized the bathroom, and they were on the shower curtain and wallpaper too. The colors were a bit much for my taste, but all I needed right now was water.
While in the shower, I pondered my situation. I called Jacoby again and called home, but that number had been disconnected too. I was very worried about him, but as with anything, I suspected it would take time to heal. I had to give him space and not force this issue with him. But this was hard. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I even wanted to reach out to Cedric again, but I changed my mind about doing that. For now, I decided to wait. Wait and see what the next move would be, good or bad.
After my shower, I went to the bedroom and changed into a comfortable silk nightgown that went all the way down to my ankles. I wasn’t going anywhere today and the plan was for me to relax. I went into the kitchen to cook breakfast. When I glanced at the clock it was almost nine o’clock. Just as I got ready to call Trina, she came through the door. The look of I just had sex was written all over her face and her smile on display said it all. I could only imagine what probably happened between her and Lexi. I quickly washed the thoughts from my head.
“Good morning,” she said with much pep in her step. She walked up to me in the kitchen and gave me a hug.
“What’s this for?” I said, hugging her back.
“No reason. Just for being you.”
Trina kept smiling as she headed down the hallway. She went into her bedroom then came out with clothes to take a shower.
“I’ll take some sausage and eggs too. Burn my toast a little and kill it with strawberry jelly.”
I shook my head and got busy with breakfast. By the time Trina came out of the bathroom, breakfast was on the table. I poured orange juice in two glasses, but Trina reached for a bottle of Ciroc vodka.
“You couldn’t be serious,” I said. “This early, Trina?”
“Yes. Now pass me the glass of orange juice. I need something strong this morning.”
I gave her the glass and she filled it to the rim with vodka. We then blessed the food and sat at the table to eat.
“I guess I don’t have to ask why you’re just now coming in, do I?” I said, prying.
“No, Mother, you don’t. But I will say that I had a very interesting night and a pretty interesting morning too.”
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s written all over your face. And if being with Lexi makes you this happy, who am I to judge? I want to apologize for running out of the restaurant like I did last night. This may take me some time to get used to, but at the end of the day, you’re still my best friend and I love you.”
“Awww,” Trina teased. “That’s so sweet. I love you too, bestie, and I do understand how you feel about my relationships. But just so you know, Lexi is not responsible for this smile you see on my face this morning. Keith is.”
I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips. “Whatever. You played that trick on me before, Trina. Told me how much you were feeling Keith and you weren’t even thinking about him. That’s too bad, because he is gorgeous. I don’t like my men that dark, but I could see myself getting it in with a man like that.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one, and I’m not lying to you this time. We got it in last night, and when I say we got it in, I really, really mean that he got it in there. Waaaay in there.”
We laughed and I didn’t know whether to believe her or not. “I don’t believe you. You had me convinced that you were done with men, and now you’re telling me that you spent the night with Keith. I think you’re just saying that because you know how I feel.”
“Truthfully, I don’t care how you feel. And I’m telling you that Keith and I had amazing sex last night. We topped it off with more sex this morning. He took me to a level up here.” Trina raised her hand up high to show me. “And I’m so high right now that I can’t come down.”
I looked at her from across the table, trying to feel her out. It didn’t appear that she was lying to me, and when her cell phone rang, she smiled and hit the speakerphone.
“Hello,” she said.
“Didn’t I tell you to call and let me know you made it home?” Keith said.
“I was getting ready to do that. You called when I had my hand on the phone.”
“I’m not buying it, but I’m glad you made it home. I had a great time last night and this morning. I’m looking forward to seeing you again real soon, but you make the call, all right?”
“Will do, and I will do so real soon. Enjoy your day and thanks for calling.”
Trina punched the button to end the call. She looked at me and shrugged. “Now what? I told you I was with him, didn’t I?”
“That just about confirms it, but here’s what I want to know: What are you going to do about that obsessive chick who couldn’t keep her hands off you? I’m sorry to say this, but she was working the heck out of me. I believe in love and everything, but she was showing too much love. And does Keith know what’s—”
“Yes, he knows. He also knows how I feel about him, so I have some serious thinking to do. Lexi has been there for me for a long time. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings. She does have some growing up to do, but I like her.”
“What abo
ut Cynthia? Have you seen or spoken to her?”
“I have, but she’s back on her husband’s team right now. She does that from time to time, so our relationship really isn’t a consistent one. My biggest problem is Lexi. From the way I feel about Keith right now, she’s bound to get hurt.”
“Yes. And learn from me . . . do not hold back the truth from anyone. Once you feel sure about your feelings, tell Keith and Lexi what’s up.”
“I plan to. But I need to be sure about who I am and what I want.”
Trina sipped from her glass then squeezed her eyes and rubbed her throat to soothe the burn. She bit into her toast and picked at the cheese eggs with a fork.
“Tell me something, Trina. How long have you known you were like this? I mean, you did a hell of a job hiding this from me and Evelyn, unless she knows too and hasn’t said anything to me.”
“No, she doesn’t know. And what’s so funny is I actually had a crush on her for a long time. I still think she got it going on, but there is much about Evelyn that turns me off too.”
I was surprised to hear Trina confess her feelings for her. That made me a little tense. I tried not to interrupt and say the wrong thing. “I don’t necessarily see that as a funny thing, and to me it sounds kind of weird. Did you ever act on those feelings and since you’re being honest, did you ever feel that way about me?”
I could tell that my questions were making her uncomfortable, but I did want to know.
“Slow it down with your questions and let me finish what I was saying. I used to have a crush on Evelyn, but I don’t anymore. I think you’re a beautiful woman, but because I knew you were committed to Cedric, I never really thought about hooking up with you. I’ve been like this since me and BJ parted ways. What I never told anyone was that he beat me, raped me, treated me like shit, and threatened to kill me many times. If you remember, during that time I became distant with everyone. I told y’all everything was good, but it wasn’t. Those black eyes you saw me with were not from car accidents or from me falling. When I broke my arm that time, I wasn’t injured at the gym. BJ did all of that to me, and had he not gone to jail, I know he would’ve killed me. After that, I was done with men. I wanted no parts of them, so I started dating women and felt as if I could relate better to them.”
I laid my fork down and wiped my mouth with a napkin. “I feel so terrible about this, because deep down I knew BJ had been abusing you. I never said one word to you, nor did I encourage you to leave him or go get help. I guess I was so wrapped up in my own—”
“Regardless, I wouldn’t have listened to anything you said. There was nothing you could’ve done, so don’t go blaming yourself. All I ask is that you keep what I’ve said to you this morning between us. I don’t want Evelyn to know any of this, because that girl is the walking National Enquirer and she would put my business out there.”
We laughed because Trina had spoken the truth. There was always one friend in the bunch who was out of control.
“I won’t say a word, but what I would like to do is change the subject. I want to hear more about your time with Keith, and please tell me when you plan to hook up with him again.”
Trina gave me explicit details of what transpired with her and Keith yesterday. I was blushing and shaking my head. I was so excited that I had to get me a drink too. We took the conversation over to the couch, laughing our asses off.
The conversation about Keith made me think of Cedric. He had always been a great lover and still was. But maybe that part of my life was over. I didn’t know, but either way, today felt good. I got blasted with Trina. It had been a long time since we’d had such a fine time.
“You should not drink anything else,” Trina said, snatching the glass from my hand. I had spilled some of the alcohol on the floor and she stumbled to the kitchen to empty my glass.
“I do—don’t need anything else to drink,” I slurred and wobbled as I stood up. “A—and neither do you!”
Trina turned up a bottle of Hennessy while standing in the kitchen. I shook my head and plopped down on the couch. “Call that bitch Evelyn over here so I can give that heefer a piece of my mind for dissing me,” I said.
“It’s heifer, not heefer and I’ma call her over here so the two of y’all can make up. Where . . . where my phone at?”
Trina slammed the Hennessy bottle on the counter and patted the pockets on her sweatpants. She stumbled back to the couch and fell back on it, next to me. She punched in Evelyn’s number and a few seconds later she answered.
“Say bitch,” Trina slurred. “Get on some clothes and come over here right now.”
“Who is this?” Evelyn snapped.
We giggled and that was when I cleared my throat and yelled into the phone. “It’s Big Daddy calling. Get over here now or else yo’ ass is grass. I don’t want no back talk, woman, ya hear me?”
“Trina and Kayla, stop playing. What is wrong with y’all this morning? Are the two of you drunk?”
Trina looked at me and held her hand in front of her mouth. “Daaaamn, are you drunk? I know I’m not, so she must be thanking that we—”
“I’m thinking that y’all are drunk and how pathetic that must be, especially since it’s this early on a Sunday morning. What about church? Are either of you going?”
I slapped my leg and cracked up. “Noooooo, no church for me this morning, no siree. But I will be there next Sunday for sure.”
“I see the two of you need a good old-fashioned cussing out. I’m on my way and y’all better have y’all’s act together when I get there.”
Trina tossed the phone on the floor and by the time Evelyn got there, we were acting like complete fools. The music was blasting and Trina was walking around like a chicken, flapping her arms and poking her neck out. Evelyn and I nearly died from laughing. It felt really good to have this much fun with my best friends. We still had issues, but the truth was . . . what frenemies didn’t?
Chapter Sixteen
Evelyn
I was exhausted. Being with Trina and Kayla wore me out, and I was glad to get out of my place. I had been worrying myself sick about everything. The baby was on my mind and at this point, I wasn’t sure if I should have it or not.
Yeah, it was my best friend’s husband’s baby, but so what? It wasn’t like I tried to get pregnant by him. It just happened and I was left trying to figure this mess out by myself. There was no way in hell I wanted Kayla to stay here and I was delighted to see that Trina had let Kayla stay with her. That way, I didn’t feel so bad about lying to her about Marc. The truth was, I hadn’t seen him since we had left dinner that Sunday. He pissed me off by tossing so many compliments Kayla’s way, and I viewed it as complete disrespect. He didn’t even say anything nice about me like I had asked him to, and all he had done was embarrass me that day.
I so badly needed a drink, but because of the baby I didn’t drink anything while I was at Trina’s place. I had cut back on smoking too; didn’t want to bring more problems to myself than I’d already had.
The day had come and gone. I had a job interview in the morning. Trina had given me the information about a secretarial position in Clayton. I wasn’t interested in that position, so as soon as I hit the door, I threw the paper she gave me in the trash. I thought about my previous job, and when I thought about the possibility of Jacoby somehow sabotaging me, I realized that if he did, he probably did me a favor. I wanted out of that place and I got tired of kissing my boss’s ass. By the way he treated me I should’ve been out of there. If Jacoby thought he had hurt me, he was sadly mistaken. He actually did me a favor, so that case was closed.
My interview tomorrow was for another customer service position. I liked working the phones and it always kept me busy. Hopefully, I’d get the job, and wanting to be well rested and ready to go in the morning, I shut it down right before ten o’clock. With my peach bra and panties on, I cuddled with the warm blanket and pulled it over my head. My eyes fluttered and I felt myself entering a deep sleep. Wh
at seemed like hours later, I felt something crawling on my leg. I kicked whatever it was with my feet and when I snatched the blanket away from my face, I looked up and saw Cedric standing at the end of my bed, scrolling the tips of his fingers against my leg. He was dressed in a suit, but his jacket and shirt were unbuttoned.
“What are you doing here?” I moved my legs to avoid his touch.
He snatched the blanket off me and tossed it on the floor. Without saying a word, he crawled on the bed and got on top of me. I resisted by trying to push him away, but he pinned my hands to the bed and maneuvered his body in between my legs. His lips touched the side of my neck and he pecked down it.
“Stop this,” I said through gritted teeth. “I don’t want you anymore, Cedric! Get up and get out of here. Now!”
He ignored my order and continued to peck down my neck. He started to grind his package between my legs and the harder it got, the more I resisted.
“No!” I shouted. “Stooooop! Pleaaaase, stop!”
Cedric halted his kisses and looked into my watery eyes. “You know this feel good to you, so quit pretending. I came here to tell you that it’s over between me and Kayla. I filed for a divorce today and whether you wanted me to do that or not, it’s done.” He pecked my neck a few more times then stopped. “I—I’ve had time to think about how wrong I was about you and my baby. I’m excited about being a father. With Kayla out of the way, the two of us can be together. We can be good parents to our baby and you can let me take care of you like I want to. It’s over, baby. I hope like hell that you’re glad it’s over.”
I was speechless. I took several deep breaths and they slowed with every word that he spoke. Was it really over? Was it now my time to shine? I didn’t quite know what to say, but the resisting stopped. My legs fell further apart and when Cedric released my hands, I used them to pull his shirt and jacket away from his chest. Without removing his pants, he unzipped them and stretched the crotch section of my panties over to the side. After putting on a condom, his dick filled me up. While he pushed deep strokes into me, I lowered my hands down into his pants and gripped his ass. My nails sunk into his flesh and I sucked his lips with mine.
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