“That’s what Kennan said, but he is gone. He isn’t real either,” the light murmured.
“Izzy?” I shouted, finally realizing the light was none other than the one person we all needed the most. Izzy had to come back. I had to get to her. With every step I took, the fog pushed me farther back. The resistance was almost unbearable. An immovable force opposed my every action, preventing me from reaching the one thing we all needed.
“Who are you?” the other voice shouted, straining against the same force that was keeping me at bay.
“It’s Molly. Who are you?” I gritted, still pushing against the fog. My shoulder dug into the fog. I’m sure I looked like some deranged woman doing football drills against invisible pads.
“Aberto,” he gritted. “She will not relent. She believes us to all be figments of her imagination. Nothing she says makes sense. Perhaps you will have more of an impact.” His voice came from ahead. I could only imagine the strain he must be under. Now I knew why he hadn’t come when I’d called him earlier. He was trying to get to Izzy.
“Where is she?” I strained to keep my voice steady as the pressure surged.
“She is in the void. The one place where the past and future bleed into one another. If we fail to reach her soon, she will go mad,” Aberto panted.
“Izzy! Izzy, it’s Molly. We need you now more than ever. Come home! Please!” I begged, tears running down my face.
“You are dead. Everyone is dead. I’ve seen your bodies. Or have I? You aren’t real.” Izzy’s voice echoed through the fog, an eerie whisper. The madness was taking hold of her. Aberto was right. If we didn’t reach her soon, all would be lost.
“I am real, Izzy. I am! If you don’t come back to us, that will happen. All of us will burn. We need you. You have to end this.”
“I’ve given too much. The debt has been paid. The sacrifice has been made. No more.” The last words pushed the fog out, forcing me to stumble back to the point where I’d started.
Aberto landed beside me on the outskirts of whatever barrier Izzy had created for herself.
“What are we supposed to do? How are we even supposed to get to her?” my voice broke as the impossible task pressed down on me.
“We will find a way. You must return to your world, Molly. Speak with Mona; ask her to bring forth Uriel. Perhaps he will have the information we need to break this barrier. Every action I have taken has failed. I cannot reach her. I have failed her.” Aberto’s eyes glossed over.
“Shut up.” I was so tired of everyone giving up so easily.
“Pardon?” Aberto turned his face towards me. Fire blazed where the tears had whispered only moments before.
“You heard me. I said, shut up. You whining is not going to get her back. I need you to sack up, got it?” I stood, dusting the nonexistent dirt from my bottom.
“Sack up?” Aberto looked truly confused. Sometimes I forgot he was thousands upon thousands of years old.
“It means be a man. Stop wallowing in your pity pool and get our girl. You are what she needs right now. Your love is the only thing that might snap her out of this. The two of you have a long history, something none of the rest of us can rely upon. So you keep trying, and I will go talk to whoever this Uriel person is. Deal?” Aberto stood, towering over me. I often forgot how much taller than regular Guardians he was. I wondered if he made himself appear smaller when he popped onto our plane.
“We have an accord,” Aberto responded, determination replacing despair.
Reality came rushing back in. Like a spring, I sat up abruptly, doing my best to stabilize my breath. Every part of me screamed out in pain. It seemed whatever Izzy had done to me in the dreaming had transferred over to this plane. The sound of her voice echoed in my head as I tried to gain my bearings. She sounded so lost, so despondent. I couldn’t leave her there, not like that.
“Molly, you’re bleeding.” Ian lifted a damp cloth to my face, wiping away what I could only assume were tears of blood.
“How long?” I wasn’t sure if it had happened as a result of Izzy pushing at me, or if it were a remnant of my earlier trip to the dreaming.
“The minute you fell into the dreaming, it started. I need to block you from the dreaming before this gets worse.” The strain in his voice brushed against my soul, causing a shudder to rack through my body.
Jumping up from the bed, I put as much distance between Ian and myself as I could. “Like hell you are going to block me. I have to get her back, Ian!” My voice cracked as my despair came rushing back in.
“Molly, you aren’t going to die trying to save her. I won’t let that happen.” Ian moved to stand in front of me, gripping my shoulders so I couldn’t move away again.
“I can’t live knowing I didn’t try. She’s the only family I have left. I can’t leave her there.”
“She isn’t the only family you have. You have me.”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” I sighed looking up into his eyes. He was just trying to protect me, but in doing so he was asking me to leave someone I loved in peril.
“We don’t even know if she can help us with what is happening now. Even if we manage to get her out of wherever she is, it might not do us any good.” Ian’s grip loosened on my shoulders, as if he were resigning himself to the truth. I wouldn’t stop until she was back on this plane.
“I can’t explain it, Ian. I have this feeling that if she stays there all will be lost. We need her to fight what is coming. She knows something, something that will help us stop this,” I pointed to my eyes as normal tears began to fall.
“How do you know?” Ian lifted his hand to my face, brushing the tears away.
“I feel it here.” Lifting my hand to my chest, I knew it was the truth. My drive to find Izzy wasn’t just to get my friend back; it was more. We were missing something. In the very depths of my existence, I knew only Izzy had the answers.
“What happened? In the dreaming this time? It seemed as though you were fighting something. Your body kept jumping.”
“I found her,” I whispered, looking down at my toes.
“Where is she? What’s wrong?” Ian’s voice rose as anger began to lace each syllable.
“She has us blocked out. Aberto said she is in the void, whatever that is.”
“No,” Ian hissed.
“I need to find Mona, Aberto sent me back with a task.”
“What is he doing? Why didn’t he come back here to help?” Ian let go of me to walk across the room, forming a million plans to destroy Aberto.
“I told him to get to Izzy. He is the only one that will be able to get through to her. They have a long history, Ian. More than any of us has with her. If anyone can get past her defenses, it will be him,” I sighed, wishing I hadn’t told him of their history. Izzy had confided in me when she’d found out Aberto had always been around.
“What do you mean, they have a long history?” Ian growled.
“I mean he has been there since she was a child. Always lurking in the shadows, keeping her safe. He has watched over her since the beginning. When he breathed his soul into her, the memories came back. Everything he’d blocked from her past came rushing back in. Like I said, history. Right now, that history may just save her. But for now, I have to find Mona. We can talk about this later.” I moved toward the door, only to be intercepted by a tower named Ian.
“I don’t like it when you keep things from me.” Ian stared down into my face, a fire burning behind his eyes.
“I don’t owe you anything, Ian. Besides, it wasn’t my secret to tell,” I huffed, moving around him quickly so he wouldn’t be able to stop me again.
“One of these days you are going to stop running from this.” Ian’s threat vibrated down to my toes. Of course he was right; I was running. I hated depending on anyone for anything. Everyone I’d trusted or loved in my life had turned out to be a liar. The only person that hadn’t let me down was Izzy. As I walked down the hall, Ian shouted, “I will catch you.”
“Not today,” I muttered as I reached Mona’s door.
“That took you long enough” Mona said, opening the door before I even had a chance to knock.
“Creepy.” Unable to stop the word from rushing out, I clamped a hand over my mouth.
She smiled at me, ushering me in the room. Apparently my outburst didn’t bother her. Then again, she was probably used to people thinking she was creepy.
“I am, dear.” She moved across the room to sit in a chair.
Stupid old Seers and their mind reading abilities. I wondered if I even needed to tell her why I’d come or if she would just hop right to it. I still had no idea who Uriel was, or what Aberto thought he could do for us.
“It is always better to be asked out loud. Thoughts can be deceiving, their meanings unclear.” Mona said, nodding to the chair across from her. I guess I was expected to sit there. Crossing the room, I felt the presence of a very irritated Guardian enter behind me. Looked like Ian had decided to join us.
“Well, Aberto said I needed to talk to Uriel. Who is Uriel? Do you have his phone number?” Lowering myself in the chair, I began fiddling with my hands. Being nervous was the worst, I could never hide it; no matter how hard I tried.
“In a manner of speaking, I suppose I do have his phone number.” Mona’s laugh spoke of an inside joke only she was privy to.
“Well, Aberto thinks he is the only one that will be able to help us get to Izzy. We found her, but she is in the void. She has a barrier set up, forcing everything back. I think she might be going insane.” Tears threatened to break free again as Izzy’s voice echoed through my mind.
“The void. I should’ve known she would go there.” Mona’s gaze slipped off into the distance, thoughts racing behind her eyes rapidly. “Right, Uriel it is. Let me see if I can get him to show up.” She settled back in the chair, her gaze going blank. An empty stare replaced the intelligent eyes that had been there seconds before.
“Is she okay?” Eyes wide, I turned to Ian hoping he could answer.
“She is trying to get Uriel,” he answered simply, as if it made total sense.
“What knowledge do you seek, Seer?” a voice came booming from Mona that was decidedly not her own.
“Uriel?” Well, this was freaky.
“My time is precious and better spent on other tasks. If you seek answers, you must first ask the right questions. Do not waste my hours on frivolous thoughts.”
“Right, okay.” I paused, trying to shake of the discomfort of the encounter. “So, Aberto says you might be able to help us get to Izzy. She is in the void.”
“Do you have a question?” Mona’s head tipped to the side, the person – or whatever he was – looking through her eyes challenged.
“What can we do to get her out of there?” If this Uriel person wanted a direct question, I could deliver.
“Sacrifice and love,” Uriel stated simply before fading away entirely.
“Did you find answers?” Mona asked, her voice strained as if being possessed took a heavy toll on her.
“I found something,” I muttered hopelessly. How in the heck would we ever find her with sacrifice and love? What did that even mean? Stupid vague answers. “Who is Uriel?”
“An archangel,” Ian supplied.
“What does he have to do with Izzy? With all of this?” I wondered aloud.
“More than we have time to discuss now. You must return to the dreaming and deliver the message. Obviously, Uriel believes Aberto will understand the message’s meaning.” Mona stood, dismissing us from the room.
Numbness sank in as I left the room. I didn’t know what to do. Helplessness screamed through my body as Izzy’s voice rang out in my subconscious. “You’re not real,” the light had whispered. But I was real, and I would be damned if Izzy was left there feeling so alone.
“Molly, wait. You can’t go back into the dreaming. If you do, this might get worse.” Ian stopped me in the hall. I looked up into his face in wonder. Sometimes I was struck by how much I didn’t know about my Guardian, about how much I missed just by trying to keep my distance. Written all over his face was something I’d been terrified to examine too closely – love.
“I have to. There isn’t any other choice.” I turned towards our room, hoping he wouldn’t try to keep me from going back.
“There is always a choice.”
“But sometimes there isn’t a good one. Sometimes there is only the right choice and the wrong one. We both know I’m not going to leave Izzy there like that. You don’t want her stuck there, either. You made a promise to Kennan, a promise I know you won’t break.”
“Do not remind me of the promises I’ve made. I know what vows I’ve taken. There are some things worth breaking a vow for.” Ian lifted his hand to my face, closing the space between us. I could feel his heat radiating against my skin. Lost in his eyes for a moment, I forgot about the distance I was trying to keep, of the space I wanted to stay between us. If I fell for him, if I let myself love him, I would be lost. Everyone I’d ever loved had either been taken from me, or had betrayed me. I couldn’t stand the thought of him doing the same. If I never loved him, I would never have to lose him.
“Ian,” I stepped away from him, turning back towards our room, “I can’t.”
“You can; you just won’t,” he said with a growl.
“I don’t even know anything about you, Ian. How can you expect me to jump in so blindly?” How had this conversation gotten here? I was supposed to be helping Izzy, not dealing with our drama.
Grabbing my arm to pull me to the room, Ian looked terrifying. What had I gotten myself into? “You and I need to have a very long discussion. No more running, Molly.”
“Now isn’t the time, Ian. The darkness is still moving in, and Izzy is lost.”
“Now is the time. You’ve been running from me—from this—for too long. It stops today. You want to know me, to know about my sordid past and how I ended up the way I did? Well, today is your lucky day. If that is what is keeping you at arm’s length, then I will tell you everything. I refuse to go another day with you fighting what is between us.” Ian pulled me into the room, slamming the door. He caged me against the wall, anger and fear in his eyes. “Start asking. This ends today.”
“Ian,” I pleaded.
“I’ve given you time and space. I even started matching my damned clothes for you. This ends now. Ask your questions, because you and I both know that isn’t the real reason you have been pushing me away.” He pressed into my personal space, leaving me no room for escape.
Of all the times for Ian to finally break, why did it have to be now? Why couldn’t he just let me run? Okay, so I knew the answer. It was the same reason I’d gotten so tired of running, of denying how I truly felt about him. The inevitability of us was undeniable. We were two halves of a whole, forged together through trial by fire.
“Ian, I can’t,” my voice came out a strained keening. Pain ripped through my chest as every emotion I’d been trying to repress came rushing forth.
“No more, Molly. I’m done chasing you. This ends now. You want to go back into the dreaming and risk your life then you do this for me. I am not going to lose you before I’ve even had you.” The wicked gleam in his eyes made my toes curl against the floor.
“But,” I started, only to be cut off by his mouth crashing down on my own. Lava coursed through my veins as his lips devoured mine, mercilessly taking all he wanted. Every thought of resistance disappeared as my body melted into his. Resistance truly was futile. I didn’t possess the strength to keep fighting. Why should I? Why couldn’t I let myself be with him?
“Because he will betray you,” my mother’s voice whispered in the back of my mind. Reminding me of why I’d run so long. Ian’s lips moved down my throat, pulling my attention back to the present, the heat suffusing my body chased away any doubts. This was right, and he was not like her. Ian wouldn’t betray me.
“He will leave you,” her voice whispered.
“He won’t what?” Ian asked, fear etching his face. He was waiting for another rejection, for me to push away again. I was tired of running, of fighting the inevitable.
“Nothing, it was nothing,” I breathed, pulling him back to my lips. Hurriedly I began pulling his clothes from his body. I couldn’t get to his skin quickly enough. Need rushed forth as I struggled to touch every part of him simultaneously.
“Molly, are you sure?” Ian stopped my hands on his chest, looking down into my eyes. Now he grew a conscience? The dumbass.
“Would you stop interrupting me? I’m trying to do things here.” With a raised brow, I leaned into his chest, slowly kissing my way up to his neck.
Ian growled, lifting me up so my legs circled his back. I could feel him pressing against me, causing heat to pool low in my stomach. I needed him like I needed the air I breathed. He was right, it was time to stop running and start living. I would start with him. Here and now, I would have him.
Ian moved to the bed, my legs never breaking free. Tossing me on the bed, he hovered over my body, hesitating for a moment. Awe shone from his features as he looked down on me lying beneath him.
“Don’t stop,” I begged. “Please, don’t stop.”
With a wicked tilt to his mouth he bent down to whisper in my ear, “You can’t escape me now. You are mine.”
And I was. For more hours than I can recount, nothing else mattered. Not the Revenants, not Izzy, not Kennan’s death. All that mattered was right there in that bed.
Lying in a twisted pile of Guardian limbs, I breathed deeply. Sated and numb, reality came crashing back in. Events of earlier in the day rushed to the surface, reminding me I had a job to do, one that couldn’t be ignored any longer.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Ian muttered into the pillow, half asleep, as I got up to grab my clothes.
“I’m going into the dreaming, but I don’t want to go in there naked.” I wasn’t sure if I could conjure up clothes in there or not. Either way, I sure as heck didn’t want to take the chance of Aberto seeing me in my birthday suit.
Seeing is Believing Page 3