As She Fades

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As She Fades Page 20

by Abbi Glines


  “So you’re the coma girl.” The snide comment came from behind me and I turned to see Cat walking up to me. Fantastic. Just who I wanted to deal with.

  I wasn’t responding to that. Stooping to her level wasn’t something I was willing to do.

  “Crawford sure didn’t seem to miss out on a good time while you were sleeping.”

  I had seen enough tonight to know that already.

  “He’s going to get bored with this. You. All guys who come to college with their high school sweethearts realize there is something more exciting out there. They want to taste all the options.”

  From the sound of things, Crawford probably had tasted some options. I shrugged. “Guess that could go both ways,” I finally responded, surprising myself.

  She laughed. “As if. When a girl has a guy like Crawford, they don’t let go easily.”

  Sighing, I turned and looked at her. “What do you want?”

  She smirked. “Crawford.”

  I already knew that. “Then why are you out here bothering me?”

  She wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer, that was for sure. Her frown signaling her confusion told me she had no idea what I meant.

  “He fucked me. Three times in one night. Once in a bathroom at a club.”

  That hit my heart hard. It wasn’t jealousy, either. It was … it was betrayal. I had been in a coma and he’d been … he’d been screwing girls in bathrooms at clubs.

  I managed not to look like I’d been hit with a brick in the chest. “That says more about you than him,” I replied. Actually, it said a lot about both of them.

  “What? That I’m a good fuck?” she asked, laughing.

  I stood there a moment deciding if I was even going to respond to this girl before I walked away. My chest had been cracked open and I needed to be alone. Finally, I said, “He’s in there now without me. Stop wasting your time out here and go get what it is you so obviously want. Because you’re not the only one. He’s had girls all over him tonight.”

  Then I walked away. I knew how to get back to the dorms, and I needed the fresh air and silence the next four miles would give me.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

  SLATE

  I WAS EITHER dodging her or trying to catch glimpses of her. I never knew what I wanted from one minute to the next. I didn’t want to see her with Crawford, but then I didn’t want to not see her because I missed her. Why couldn’t I make up my mind?

  “Can we go back to your place?” Grace asked as she slid her hand between my legs and cupped my dick.

  That had been my plan, but seeing the football players crawling all over the Tinderwoods Apartments meant there was a party there tonight and I knew she would be there. With Crawford. My mind was on her. Always on her.

  “Not tonight,” I replied, removing her hand. This wasn’t the first time I’d turned down sex lately. It was becoming a habit. I couldn’t fuck someone and be thinking about Vale the entire time.

  But how the hell was I supposed to get over her?

  “Why not?” Grace puckered up and leaned in to start nibbling on my ear. I wanted to be able to mindlessly do it like I had before. Take her back to my place, do what she was begging for, and move on. But something had changed in me and I wasn’t able to fix it.

  I started to move her off me again when I saw Vale … walking … in the dark … alone. What the hell?

  I carelessly shoved Grace off me as I slowed and pulled the Jeep up beside Vale. Jerking the door open, I jumped out and called her name.

  She was already looking back at me. Her face was hidden in the shadows.

  “What are you doing?” I asked her, closing the distance so I could see her face.

  “Walking,” she said simply. I wanted to laugh at her obvious answer, but the hurt look in her eyes sliced through me.

  “Where’s Crawford?” I asked, already imagining ways to beat the shit out of him. What guy lets his girl walk home alone in the dark?

  “At a party.”

  I knew what party. I had passed it a half mile ago. “Is that where you’re coming from?”

  “Slate,” Grace called out. I ignored her. Vale didn’t, though. Her eyes went to the girl in my car, then back to me.

  “I was just tired and ready to go. You need to get back to your date,” she said, and started to walk away. I reached out and grabbed her hand.

  “You’re not walking all the way back to your dorm. It’s not safe. Your fu … boyfriend should have thought about that.” He was going to think about it once I got my hands on him. That was for damn sure.

  “He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t think he has been for a very long time.” She tugged at her hand, but I wasn’t letting go. Especially after a comment like that one. If he wasn’t her boyfriend, then what the hell happened?

  “What happened, Vale?” I asked.

  She tensed, then I saw the tears in her eyes as she quickly looked away from me. “Crawford has been with others … since coming here.”

  Was he a dumbass? He had Vale—why would he want anyone else?

  “He’s an idiot,” I said, squeezing her hand gently.

  She sniffed and reached up to wipe her eyes.

  “Slate, let’s go,” Grace called out again. I had forgotten she was even there.

  Shit. I glanced back at the Jeep, then at Vale. “I need to take her home, then we can go wherever you want and talk. Or drink. Or break things. Just get in my Jeep, please.”

  Vale started to shake her head, and I pulled her close to me and whispered in her ear, “I will leave that Jeep right there and walk the entire way back with you if you don’t. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

  She sighed and finally gave me a nod. “Okay.”

  I wanted to pull her into my arms and swear to her I’d never let anyone hurt her again. But right now I couldn’t. Because she may not choose me. She was heartbroken over the guy she did love. Just because I loved her didn’t make it enough for both of us.

  “Where is she going?” Grace asked as we walked up to the Jeep together. “I’m not getting in the back. She is.”

  Vale looked up at me. “Sorry about her” was all I could say.

  “I like the back,” Vale replied.

  I held her hand as she crawled up into the Jeep and took the backseat.

  “Again, why is she with us?” Grace asked, her tone getting more annoying by the second.

  “She needs a ride,” I said as I drove back onto the road and toward the sorority house where Grace lived.

  “Are you taking me home?” she asked incredulously.

  “Yeah.”

  She glared back at Vale. “Unbelievable. He’s worse than his reputation. I hope you know that. If he’ll do this to me, he’ll do it to you.”

  I didn’t expect Vale to respond, and I wanted to shut Grace up. Even if she had a reason to be pissed. I didn’t have time to worry about that.

  “Actually, there’s a side of Slate no one sees because he doesn’t show them. Or they don’t look closely. You went out with him because of his reputation. Maybe you should have tried to see beyond what you thought you knew about him.”

  My heart slammed against my ribs. Girls didn’t talk about me like that. They never had.

  “Whatever. You’re young and stupid. You’ll learn,” Grace snapped, turning around in her seat.

  “Hopefully sooner than you,” Vale shot back.

  I laughed. I wasn’t able to stop myself. Her response was unexpected.

  I pulled up in front of Grace’s sorority house and she shoved her door open. “Don’t call me,” she yelled before slamming the door behind her.

  I hadn’t been planning on it, but I knew it helped her to say it. What had she wanted from me tonight? To say she screwed me? To say she was one of the many? Why? When had that become such a big thing for girls?

  I opened my door and held out my hand to Vale. “Come on and get up front.”

  She didn’t argue, and although there was stil
l sadness in her eyes, she didn’t look as broken as she had when I picked her up.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

  VALE

  I WAS SORRY about the girl. She had been on a date with Slate and he’d ended it for me. I should have been nicer. She just caught me at a bad time.

  “What happened?” Slate asked as we started down the dark road.

  “What was going to happen sooner or later. We have grown apart.”

  “There’s more to it than that,” he said—and he was right.

  I stared out the window of the Jeep and wondered when, exactly, did Crawford pull away? When I was in the coma? How long did it take him to go live his life? Had it been hard on him?

  “I think if the situation had been reversed … I wouldn’t have been able to go so easily or quickly. I was only in a coma for a little over a month. We had been together since we were six. Wouldn’t it take longer than a month for him to accept that he needed to go on with his life? Surely if that had been me, I would have had a hard time leaving him. He … he didn’t. He left and he made a life here. So quickly.”

  I felt guilty even saying all this. Should I be complaining that he didn’t sit and pine for me?

  “I wanted him to live his life, but I expected him to at least have held out some hope that I would join him like we’d planned. He didn’t. He was having sex with Cat. It didn’t take him long.”

  Slate didn’t respond right away. I didn’t expect him to. What was he supposed to say to this? “I’m sorry”? There was no response he could give me to make it better.

  “Tonight we were at a party. He had this life, and these friends who didn’t even know who I was. I didn’t fit, and he didn’t seem to notice or care. He wanted me to sit there beside him while he laughed and had a good time. That wasn’t what we were always like. I used to at least know his friends, and I wasn’t as lost. But I’ve realized that he had always been the center of attention and he expected me to just fall into place at his side. I don’t want that anymore.”

  Slate pulled his Jeep down a dirt road. Normally this would seem strange, but I trusted Slate. That was something else I didn’t understand. Why did I trust him so completely?

  We were stopped under a clear night sky in a field filled with grass and wildflowers. I wondered if he had brought many girls out here for something completely different. It was a beautiful spot, though.

  “Crawford will regret this one day,” Slate said as he turned his body toward me. “He had you. He’d lived a perfect life with you and he didn’t even know what he had because he hadn’t tried anything else. Me … well, I’ve tried it all. I’m not wondering what’s on the other side. I’ve been there, and it is lonely. He’ll realize it one day, and it’ll be too late.”

  That was sweet and I appreciated him saying it, but I didn’t want Crawford to regret anything. I wanted him to be happy.

  “Couples go to college and grow apart every day,” I said. “Before my coma, I think the idea of this would have broken me. But it all changed while I was asleep. I found a part of me I didn’t know was missing. What hurts is he cheated so easily and so soon.”

  Slate leaned forward and cupped my face with his hand. It felt familiar and exciting all at once. “When you were sleeping and I would read to you and talk to you, I felt something. Hell, maybe it was your face, because you have an exceptional one. But I felt a connection. I’d never had that before, and I made excuses to see you by bringing your family coffee. Sure, I’m a nice guy and I wanted to help out, but in reality I couldn’t imagine a guy not standing by your side, holding your hand, praying you would wake up. I…” He paused and leaned close to me. His scent made my body tingle. “… Just knew there was something special there. Then you woke up and I was right. You went to see my uncle D because you cared about an old man you didn’t know. You stood by me as he died. You cared. No girl has ever cared before, Vale.”

  Tears stung my eyes. Slate was so much more than he was given credit for. I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes. Instead of the safe feeling I had with Crawford, my pulse raced with Slate. He made the world brighter and full of the unknown.

  “I had to be sure,” I told him, opening my eyes to lock with his gaze. “I had to know what I had with Crawford was over. He was all I’d known.”

  Slate dropped his hand, and I felt cold without his touch.

  “I know. You still need time. Twelve years is a long time to love someone. Moving on can’t happen overnight. But when you’re ready, you know where to find me.”

  As much as I wanted Slate to pull me into his arms and kiss me, I knew he was right. There had to be closure with Crawford.

  “Thank you,” I said, wishing there were words that meant more, that expressed what I was feeling.

  “For what?”

  I looked at his beautiful face and those eyes that seemed to haunt my dreams. “For being you.”

  Slate chuckled. “I’ve never been thanked for that before.”

  I smiled at his amusement. “How will I know?” I asked him.

  “Your heart will,” he replied.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

  VALE

  CRAWFORD WAS IN my dorm room when I returned that night. He cried and admitted to sleeping with Cat as well as two other girls. He blamed it on being lost without me and acting out in pain. He begged me to forgive him.

  I let him say all he had to say, then told him the truth. I didn’t love him anymore. From the moment I opened my eyes, things had been different. We couldn’t go back because we had both changed. I could forgive him for the girls, but I’d never forget it. My heart was closed to him now. I wanted him happy, but not with me.

  He had cried more and blamed himself for not staying with me. For listening to his mother and leaving when it was time. I let him talk and listened, although I was aware that he had to work through this on his own.

  When I watched him finally leave, he asked me if there was a chance for us one day. I told him the truth. No. We were the past and our story was a big part of both of us. But it was over now. Our futures held different things.

  Not once did I cry—or even feel like crying. Seeing his tears didn’t make me feel vindicated. It was just sad that this was how it all ended. All our plans for the future were no longer important. They were the dreams of children. Children who were growing up.

  * * *

  AFTER HE WAS gone, I called Knox and told him I had ended things. I left out the girls because Knox wouldn’t forgive him for that. He’d go after him and they’d both end up in jail or the hospital. I needed my brother and my family to understand that I wanted more. I wanted a life that I got to plan.

  Over the next month, I focused on work and school. I didn’t go out. I was alone most of the time, but I was content. Knox forced me to eat with him some and I went home twice for family dinners so everyone could see I was smiling. I was happy. I wasn’t lost and sad.

  It was almost November when I looked up from the coffeemaker at work to see Slate walk in. He hadn’t been by since the night he picked me up on the road. He hadn’t texted and he hadn’t called. I had seen him only three times from a distance, and each time he didn’t see me and had been alone, too.

  I was getting off work in five minutes. It was a Sunday and tomorrow was Halloween. We had been busy all week with the specialty coffee drinks that were about to change for Thanksgiving.

  “Hey,” I said, feeling my face flush from excitement. Just seeing him this close and being able to smell him made me happy.

  “Hey,” he replied as a smile curled up one corner of his mouth.

  “How … how are you?” I asked nervously.

  “Missing you,” he replied.

  My chest tightened and my heart soared. He had missed me. I had lain in bed many nights telling myself I didn’t need a man to make me happy. I would find happiness inside me. However, it never made me not miss him. Wonder about him.

  “Good,” I replied, untying my apron.

  “G
ood?” he asked, still smiling.

  I nodded and tossed my apron in the dirty linen basket. “I’m gone, Jake,” I called out to the new guy we’d hired last month. I was training him, but he had this. And if not, what better day than today to let him figure it out?

  “Shift over?” Slate asked as I walked around the counter toward him.

  “Yes,” I replied.

  “Do you have plans?”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He looked deflated. “Oh.”

  Then I stepped closer to him and put my palms on his chest as I stood on my tiptoes and covered his mouth with mine. This was what I had been dreaming about. Being near him. Being able to kiss him. Being able to know that he was there and life was going to be full of excitement and new things.

  His hands found my face and he held it gently as he deepened the kiss. I slid my hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck as his mint-flavored breath mingled with mine. I don’t know how much time passed before I finally pulled back and inhaled deeply to catch my breath.

  “This. This is my plan,” I told him breathlessly.

  He grinned. “Then I’m the luckiest fucker on the planet.”

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  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Abbi Glines is the #1 New York Times–, USA Today–, and Wall Street Journal–bestselling author of the Rosemary Beach, Sea Breeze, Vincent Boys, Field Party, and Existence series. Visit abbiglines.com, or sign up for email updates here.

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