"Did you ask Sarah out because of her dad?" Macy asked.
Collin pulled back to get a better look at me. "Why do you keep saying that?"
"It wasn't like that, "I said. "I wasn't talking about you. You just came in at the wrong time of the conversation."
He looked at Macy and Lu. "I had no idea who her father was when I tried to get her to go out with me. I asked her out strictly because I was intrigued."
"You called her sunshine," Lu said.
Collin shrugged and smiled. "What can I say? I call it like I see it." He was again whisked away by someone needing his attention, so he patted my shoulder and said, "Thanks again for coming in, ladies," as he walked away with a smile and nod.
My gaze shifted to Macy who was staring at me with an open mouth. "I seriously can't believe you had that guy standing at our table, handing you his number on a napkin."
"We don't even know if that's what's on it," I said, tossing the napkin onto the table.
Macy scooped it up with no hesitation and proceeded to open it and stare at it. "It's his number, all right," she said, placing it back onto the table.
"He just wants to take me out because I don't want to go," I said. "Indifference. It's a wonderful technique. Single women all across the land should use it. I should write a book."
"Unfortunately," Lu said, patting my back with a solid slap. "This one is actually indifferent."
"I'll go out with him," Macy said, looking around the restaurant as if she might ask Collin if she could take his number since I didn’t want it.
"You can have it if you want. I was planning on leaving it," I said. We were done, so we began to gather our things.
Macy squinted at me. "Oh, come on! You can't be serious."
"I am," I said. I shifted my focus to the napkin, considering taking it for a second before looking at her. "I'm not trying to be a man-hater or anything. I love my brothers, and I have a lot of guy friends, but I am not trusting anyone anymore—not like that. It's not that big of a deal."
"It is a big deal," Macy said as she stood, taking the napkin off the table and putting it into her purse. I shot her a curious glance, and she returned it with a shrug. "I'm not gonna to call him. That would just be weird and desperate after he gave you his number and not me. I'm holding onto it for you because I think it's a mistake for you to leave it. Plus, I think it's kind of mean. He'll probably pass by here and see that he got rejected."
"He already knows he got rejected," Lu said. "She told him right to his face."
"You guys are making me feel bad," I said. "I thought I was being friendly."
Lu gave me a wink. "You were," she said. "We're just jealous."
Chapter 4
I sent a text to my dad on Nichole's behalf the minute I walked into my apartment. I didn't make a habit of putting a word in for everyone who asked me, but I had looked this girl in the eye and told her I would see what I could do. Plus, in some weird way, I thought helping her out would prove that I wasn't bothered by her getting to go on the set of Best Chef with Collin.
Why am I even contemplating this? I don't even watch cooking shows. I mean, I recognized that guy, but barely. There is absolutely no reason for me to think about him or whatever beautiful waitress he invited to go with him on set.
I typed out the text to my father in spite of (or maybe because of) whatever feelings I was having at the moment.
Me: "Hey, I told a girl I'd mention her name to you. She read for a pilot. Her name's Nichole."
I heard back from my dad instantly. Unless he was working, he was quick to respond to any messages from family. It had been that way since all that legal stuff went down.
Dad: "Is she a friend of yours?"
Me: "Waitress. Just told her I'd mention her name."
Dad: "Okay, honey. We'll see you tomorrow."
Me: "What's tomorrow?"
Dad: "Your brother's birthday dinner."
Me: "Okay, I'll be there."
I included a thumbs up and lightning bolt emoji, and Dad responded with the smiley face with sunglasses. It reminded me of the beach, which sounded delightful considering it was the middle of winter in New York, and I had a particular aversion to being cold. I smiled, thinking about the beach as I threw my phone onto the kitchen counter.
My phone slid, and almost collided with the base of a bowl I had just made. I stared at the results of the brush technique I had done on it, thinking of what I would do differently the next time.
I loved all art, but ceramics were my true passion. I was a better person when my hands were touching clay. The very nature of working with clay was capable of making my perspective shift, and I was thankful everyday that I got to do something I loved.
I sold pieces regularly through consignment, but I didn't make a ton of money at it. In fact, if it weren't for my dad's income, I'd probably be in the same starving-artist situation that Lu, Macy, and Drake were all in (although Drake had been increasingly more successful with his photography in recent months).
I had been working on a project from the time I got home until 6pm when Lu came in the door. She had officially heard from Lane at Shower & Shelter, and she was on cloud nine about her interview, which would take place the following Tuesday.
Lu knew her way around ceramics just from living with me, but her main medium was pen and charcoal on parchment. She worked with watercolor some, too, but most of her art was black and grey. She had a beautiful, whimsical style, and we discussed certain pieces she would take with her to the interview at S&S. We talked about that for a while before I showed her the pieces I had been working on while she was gone.
I didn't look at my phone the whole time I was working, so I had a few texts to answer while Lu chowed down on a box of Chinese noodles she had left over from the night before. She handed it to me when she was done, and I thankfully finished it off since I hadn't even thought about what I was going to do for dinner. I had a television mounted on the living room wall, and I turned it on, sitting cross-legged on the couch with what was left of that box of noodles.
"What channel's Food Network?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at Lu, who was staring down at her phone at the edge of the kitchen.
"I think it's like two-hundred-something, or eight-hundred-something," she said distractedly.
I wrinkled my nose at her even though she wasn't looking at me.
Being the industrious person I was, I visited the preview channel, where I figured out that Food Network was channel 68. The words "Best Chef" were written all the way across the area where the show titles appeared, indicating that we were in the middle of a Best Chef marathon.
I got nervous and looked over my shoulder as I turned the television to channel 68. Part of me cared if Lu noticed what I was watching, but there was nothing I could do to stop myself from going to that channel—I was just too curious.
"He's not the main guy, you know," Lu said from over my shoulder the instant I changed the channel.
I cringed at getting caught.
"He's not on every episode."
There was a commercial playing, and I tried to hit the fast forward button, but it didn't work.
"You can't do that when it's live," she said.
"I know, it's just habit."
I tossed the remote onto the seat beside me as I continued to eat Lu's noodles. I glanced back at her, wondering if she would comment on the fact that I was leaving it on Food Network, but she didn't. She just stared at her phone again.
***
I ended up watching four episodes of Best Chef in a row. I had never seen it before, and I got hooked. Collin was on the third and fourth episode I watched, making it even more fun.
Lu had gone out not long after I put it on, and she was surprised to find that I was still watching it when she got home. She sat on the couch and finished the last five minutes of the most recent episode with me. I pressed the power button before stretching my arms toward the ceiling.
"Why are you turning it o
ff?" she asked.
"Because that's the last episode of the marathon," I said. "It was an all-new episode. They won't have another one for a week.
"Since when are you a Best Chef expert?" she asked, looking sideways at me.
I giggled and pushed at her. "I was watching it live, remember? All they did during the commercial breaks was pump up the new episode, and we just finished it." I sat back and sighed. "I don't see how they handle all that pressure. There's no way I would want to do that type of thing with pottery where you have a time limit and people stand around and tell me what they did or didn't like about your work."
"It's a good thing there's no cutthroat pottery competition shows out there," Lu said, causing us both to laugh.
"The guy from the restaurant was on that one," Lu added.
"I know," I said. I tried to say it casually, but the truth was, I was painfully aware of that fact that Collin was on that episode. "He was on the one before it, too," I said.
"How many did you watch?"
"Four."
"Oh my gosh, have you been watching it the whole time I was gone?"
"Yeah why?" I asked, a little defensively because of her shocked tone.
"Because, you never watch TV."
"I do sometimes."
"Barely."
"Sometimes I just feel like binge watching," I said.
"Are you sick?"
"No."
"Are you in looove?"
I cracked up laughing at that, but it was a little fake. While it was a completely ridiculous thing to say, her words did strike some sort of weird chord with me. Collin Ross seemed like such a decent person both in his restaurant and on the television. I had been watching him intently for the past two hours, and was wholeheartedly convinced that he was the kindest, smartest man on the planet. He was easy on the eyes, too. I could see how he was so successful on cooking shows in spite of not being a chef. I was compelled to like him.
I flopped over and to the side, burying my head into the couch pillows, and moaning since I felt like a lazy bum for planting my butt in the same position for the past four hours.
"I can't believe you're not denying it," Lu said.
"Denying what?"
"I said you were in love, and you didn't deny it."
I giggled and shook my head without even bothering to sit up or look at her. "I'm not denying it because it's ridiculous," I said. "I thought you were just being silly."
"No, I wasn't," she said. "I know you are because of how you were glued to that show just now."
"I just think it was cool that we met the guy, that's all."
"You meet people who are on TV all the time, Sarah. You can probably run up the street and crash some movie set if you wanted to."
She was right. Not that I ever did it, but I could visit sets of almost any television production I chose. My dad could, no doubt, set up a visit to Best Chef if I asked. I would never ask him to do so, but somewhere in the back of my mind it felt good knowing he could.
"I know, but it's just cool that we met him today, and there happened to be a Best Chef marathon on."
"It's just cool we met him to day and now there's a marathon on TV," she said, repeating my words in a silly way that implied I was lovestruck.
I sat up and hit her with a nearby throw pillow, causing her to laugh and push at me.
"It's a good thing Macy saved that number for you."
"Macy saved that number for herself," I said.
"She did not, and you know it. You should just give in and text him already. I can tell you want to."
I took a deep breath. If ever I would feel tempted to break my own dating rule, it would be with Collin. "It's not that I don't want to call him," I said, feeling confused. I put my hand to my chest. "I think I'm attracted to him."
"Thank goodness!" she said victoriously as if my confession was somehow proof that I was fixed. "I'm attracted to him, but that still doesn't change that I can't call him. I'm not gonna date him."
"Why not?"
"Because," I said in a serious whisper. "Something happened when Cameron did that to me. Something shifted in me. I just can't let my guard down again. It's not even really a choice I'm making, it's more like my body won't even let me do it. I have this push-pull going on inside me where I still like men, and find myself being attracted to them, but I seriously can't think about letting anyone in."
"Not yet," Lu said since she was a glass half-full type of person.
I shrugged. "If I could switch myself back to having hope, I would," I said. "Not that it's all that dramatic," I added. "Lots of people stay single. It's not a big deal."
"I'm not staying single," Lu said. "I'm gonna find true love. I'm gonna be working at the gallery one day, and he'll just come walking in off the street. It'll be love at first sight."
"That'll be amazing," I said, grinning at her plan.
Chapter 5
My brother's birthday dinner came and went, and so did several productive days of work where I turned out a few pieces I was really proud of. Lu's interview with S&S went well, although she hadn't heard back from them just yet.
It had been exactly a week since I ran into Collin Ross at his restaurant, and I was happy to report that I had not watched a single minute of Best Chef even though I knew it would be easy for me to access past episodes if I wanted to.
I wasn't watching his show at all, and I did my best not to think of him as days passed, but when Lu asked if I wanted to go out for lunch the following week, I told her I wanted to get Mexican again.
She asked if I wanted to go to the same restaurant we went to the week before, and she didn't give me a hard time about wanting to see Collin when I told her I did—probably because she knew I would deny it and just say I liked the food. We didn't invite Macy or Drake this time since our plans were last minute.
I figured there was only a slim chance Collin would be there, but I still took a little extra care with my hair and makeup just in case. I hated that I wasn't able to keep my heart from beating at a much higher than normal rate as I entered the restaurant with Lu. I told myself to calm down, but it was useless. They were packed, and we had forgotten to make reservations, but the hostess was able to make accommodations for us. She sat us at a small table on the back wall and told us that 'Mike' would be right with us.
I sighed and smiled at Lu from across the table, trying to act like I was excited about the food and running into Collin was not what was on my mind.
"My name is Collin, and I’m gonna be taking care of you ladies today," I heard someone say as he came up beside me.
I must have looked at Lu with a panicked expression, because she began giggling as I turned to see who had spoken. Collin Ross was standing right beside me in all his restaurant owner/food critic glory. He reached in front of me to set down a glass of ice water. "I'll bring lemons if you like," he said.
I looked around, half-expecting for our real server to come walking up behind Collin any second.
He snapped his fingers and made a regretful expression as he said, "I forgot menus. I'll be right back."
Just then, the hostess came rushing up with menus in her hand. She handed them to Collin and they exchanged a smile before he turned to place the paper menus in front of us.
"Sorry about that," he said.
"What are you doing?" I asked, looking around. It felt odd having him serve us, and I didn't know what to make of it.
He smiled, and I stared at his teeth, which had my heart racing again. "I'm taking care of you ladies for lunch," he said.
"He's filling in for Mike," Lu explained as she and Collin swapped smiles.
"Yeah, I'm filling in for Mike," Collin agreed.
"Do you have Mike's other tables?" I asked.
"No ma'am, I don't. Just this one, particular table."
I smiled and glanced down, my heart still pounding. "I'll have some guacamole," I said, hoping my voice would come out steady.
"The chips," he said with
another regretful expression. As if on cue, a male server, whom I assumed was Mike, walked up, carrying chips and salsa. Collin took it from him. "Two orders of guacamole for the ladies, please," Collin said.
"Yes sir," the guy said with a nod. He turned to walk away, and Collin placed the chips and salsa in the middle of our table.
He was young and confident, and it was incredibly appealing to hear that well-dressed server call him sir.
"I'm so glad you're here Ms. Spicer. I'm glad you came back. I thought maybe I would have heard from you by now."
I smiled back-and-forth from Lu to Collin, feeling the oddest mix of emotions.
"In the interest of full disclosure, our friend Macy has your number in the front pocket of her purse," Lu said. "She's the keeper of the number. If Sarah ever comes out of her self-inflicted, no-dating phase, we're pretty sure she'll want that napkin."
Collin smiled at Lu and shook his head good-naturedly. "What'd you say your name was?" he asked her.
"Lu."
"Lu," he said tilting his head a little. "Is it short for anything?"
"Lulie."
"Lulie?"
She nodded. "My parents were gonna name me Julie. They called me that when my mom was pregnant with me, and my big sister, who was two at the time, called me Lulie because she couldn’t say Julie right. My parents went with it. They named me Lulie, although most people just call me Lu."
"Lulie," Collin said, testing it out as he smiled at her.
Was I jealous? I was jealous. I was flat out jealous. He smiled at her, and my heart sank. I wanted desperately to say something to make Collin look at me instead of my beautiful best friend. I clinched my fists under the table, chastising myself for being so physically swept-away by him. I took a sip of water, moving quickly to mask my shaking hands.
"Take a second to look at the menu. I'll make sure your guacamole comes right out. Lunch is on me today, okay?"
Lu pressed her foot down onto mine with great force when he said he was buying us lunch, and this made me squirm. Collin turned to walk off, and Lu stared at me with wide eyes. Then she squinted and slapped a hand to her forehead. "I can't believe how into you he is," she said as if it pained her to see it.
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