by Mari Carr
“Joke?” Georgie murmured.
He blew out a frustrated breath. Spending so much time with her was getting more and more difficult. Jason was right. He was still in love with her. So what was he doing here? It was starting to feel like some sort of experiment in self-flagellation.
He was in way over his head. It was time to save himself. “Georgie. I think I should probably go.”
“What did you call me?”
Nick turned to face her. It was time for her to understand. She couldn’t be his George anymore. “We can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing it.”
She looked absolutely crestfallen, but to her credit, she didn’t cry. “I get it, Nick. I really do. I screwed everything up last time.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I mean it was a fuck-up of major proportions and I don’t have the right to ask you for anything. Certainly not friendship. Although these past few months…” Her voice broke, taking Nick’s heart right along with it.
“They’ve been a lot of fun.”
She nodded sadly. “Yeah, they have.”
He didn’t say anything more. When the silence drifted on too long, Georgie said, “So, I guess this is it.”
“Yeah,” he said, though the word cost him. Nick was fighting very hard not to take it all back. To say to hell with it.
He didn’t want to walk away from her. She’d run from him last time and it had killed him. But this was even harder. Because this time, he’d be the one leaving. And he didn’t want to go.
“Can you give me five minutes?” she asked.
He frowned. “For what?”
She pointed to the vase. “You’re still in trouble with your mom. Let me finish this bouquet, see if I can get you out of the doghouse.”
He stepped away from the table, giving her space to work. It would buy him five more minutes to look at her, to breathe the same air, to soak up every last drop of what made her so completely amazing. “I’d appreciate that.”
Georgie didn’t dawdle. Didn’t use the bouquet as a chance to stall. And she didn’t fill the silence trying to change his mind. Instead, she worked as quickly and efficiently as she always did. After a few minutes, she turned to look at him.
Nick’s body went tight when he spotted the tears in her eyes. He fought to stiffen his spine.
“What do you think?” she asked.
He didn’t spare even a sideways glance at the flowers. “Beautiful. As always.”
She gave him a sad smile, then waved her hands to stop him when he reached for his wallet. He had to get out of here. “No. On the house.”
“George,” he paused only a second before adding “ee” to her name.
She winced slightly. “I’m not going to fight about it, Nick. Your money’s no good here.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
Georgie took two rapid steps away from him as he reached for the bouquet. She felt it too. The unbearable heat that sizzled between them. The irresistible pull. It was as if they were trapped inside the same rubber band, stretching the elastic as far as they could, denying the inevitable moment when it would snap them back together.
It was time to break the bond before it was too late.
Chapter Five
June’s flower is the rose, which symbolizes passionate love and beauty.
* * *
Georgie lay back on her lounge chair, soaking up the sunshine and Zoey’s pleasant company. She’d found her cancer-free friend relishing the first warm day of summer. It had been a month since Nick had walked out of her flower shop. She hadn’t seen or spoken to him since then.
Actually she hadn’t seen much beyond the walls of her house and the shop. She’d holed herself in and spent the last four weeks alternating between working herself to exhaustion at the shop or sitting on the couch crying her eyes out. She’d watched To Kill a Mockingbird at least twenty times and had Rita Coolidge on repeat on her iTunes.
She had just cranked up “I Don’t Want to Talk about It” when she’d spotted Zoey in the courtyard. Two things had brought her out to join her. One was she was lonely and tired of being sad. And secondly, Zoey was her last connection to Nick.
She sighed and closed her eyes.
“Long day at the flower shop?” Zoey asked.
“Today was my day off. One of the perks of owning your own business. If you’ve got the right people in place, you can say fuck it on mornings when you don’t want to get out of bed.” She didn’t bother to add that most days had been her day off lately. Getting out of bed took way too much energy.
“I obviously chose the wrong career path. Paralegals are expected to go to work every day on time. Unless, of course, you have cancer. Then your boss allows you to skip occasionally.”
Georgie picked up her large-brimmed hat and plopped it on her head, hoping it would hide how much hearing about Nick affected her. “Nick’s not giving you shit at work, is he? About missing time?”
“Oh my God, no. Nick is the absolute bomb as a boss, you know that. I swear to God, I’m buying him the biggest Christmas gift on earth this year. He’s been super cool about everything.”
“That’s good.” Georgie’s voice came out tight, strained. It must have clued Zoey into the fact something was up.
“Speaking of Nick, how is the second-chances goal going?”
It occurred to Georgie, too late, that she should have remained in her house. While she hadn’t missed a single Thursday night wine date with the girls since Nick’s departure, it had taken every ounce of strength to put on a show, to pretend she wasn’t dying a million deaths inside.
Georgie took a deep breath, then put on the carefree role that used to come so naturally to her. “Ugh. Don’t even mention that stupid vow. There’s a reason why people don’t go back. Hindsight is supposed to be twenty-twenty, but that perfect vision seems to have missed me. I should have kept looking forward. The past sucked when I was living it and it sucks now.”
Maybe if she hadn’t kept looking in the rearview mirror, she would have managed to get over Nick by now. Instead, she’d gone back and reopened the wound, made it even worse than before.
“I assume you weren’t wrong to give back the rings?”
“Not only was I not wrong, I was utterly and completely brilliant to break things off. At least in Phillip’s case.”
Georgie hadn’t told her friends about that failed attempt. When she thought of it, she hadn’t told the girls anything. They’d all been incredibly successful in their resolutions, each of them finding love and happiness. Meanwhile, Georgie had been one big fat failure, more miserable now than she’d been at New Year’s, which was no small feat considering how sad she’d been back then.
“Only Phillip? So you’ve really only confirmed about a third of what you set out to accomplish?”
“Don’t lecture me, sweetheart. One third was more than enough to prove to me my second chance really doesn’t lie in the past.” She’d thought, hoped, prayed that it had, but Nick had put a period to that plan.
Her ability to shield her feelings started to fail, so Georgie changed the subject, asking Zoey about her newfound relationship with her roommate, Rob. Like Nick and Georgie, Zoey and Rob had been friends first. When Zoey had been diagnosed with cancer, Rob, a musician, had scrapped his concert tour and come home to be with her. Somewhere in the midst of all that cancer hell, their feelings had clearly changed.
Problem was Zoey didn’t seem able to let herself believe in her happily ever after yet. Not that Georgie could blame her. It would probably take Zoey a long time to accept that the cancer was really gone.
Zoey seemed to believe she couldn’t ask Rob to give up his dream on the stage to stay with her. She was letting her feelings of guilt overshadow the only thing that really mattered—she and Rob loved each other.
Then it struck Georgie that she’d been a weak fool this past month. She’d let Nick walk away without a fight because she’d been consumed with guilt and convinced she didn’t deserve a second chance. But d
ammit—she loved him. And she’d do anything to make up for the mistakes of the past.
Georgie sat up and looked at her friend.
“I don’t think I’ve ever said it, but you’ve been really amazing, Zoey. A true survivor.”
Zoey scoffed and shook her head. “No. I’m not surviving. I’m barely tolerating.”
Georgie laughed, realizing the same felt true for her. “Same damn thing, sweetheart. But, seriously, I look at you all the time and wonder if I could be as strong if I was in your shoes.”
Zoey sat up as well and took Georgie’s hand. “Of course you could. But I hope to God you never have to find that out.”
Those words sank in. Deep. When she looked at all Zoey had faced and overcome, Georgie felt like a coward for giving up so easily.
Georgie was finished tiptoeing around Nick. She was going to own up to her mistakes and then she was going to find a way to make up for them. She knew she could make him happy if only he’d let her prove it.
“What the hell is going on?” Josie called out from her back porch. “It’s only Tuesday. Are you girls sneaking in an extra happy hour?”
“Do you see any booze out here?” Georgie yelled back. “We’re working on our tans.”
Josie threw her hands up in disgust. “And I suppose it didn’t occur to either of you that you can do both at the same time. I picked up a new bottle of white at the store yesterday. Let me change into some shorts and I’ll be right out.”
Georgie leaned back, feeling lighter and happier than she had in a long time. She’d lost sight of her goal for a little while, but now that she was back on track, she was more determined than ever. “So much for that heart-to-heart talk. No doubt we’re going to spend the next hour listening to Josie fill us in on her latest Howl List adventure. It was a full moon Sunday night. Jesus. I’m getting sick and tired of listening you girls talk about all the great sex you’re having with hot guys while I’m languishing in vibrator-land.”
“I have to admit, I don’t miss my vibrator at all.” Zoey unsuccessfully dodged the dandelion Georgie chucked at her, the flower hitting her right cheek.
Georgie crossed her feet in front of her. “Slut.”
“Jealous bitch,” Zoey tossed back playfully.
“I’m going inside.” Georgie made no move to leave. She was having fun.
“No, you’re not. Josie promised us wine.”
Georgie grinned. “That’s right. She did. And since I’m the one who needs to drown her sorrows, I’m taking your share of the bottle too.”
Zoey returned to lounging on the chair. “Whatever.”
Josie reappeared with her lawn chair, a bottle of wine and Shelly in tow, her hands filled with plastic cups.
An hour later, Laura appeared. And then Kristen. They laughed and talked until nearly dusk and none of the girls seemed to notice when Georgie slipped away to call Nick.
She got his voicemail, so she left a brief message that simply said she’d been thinking about him a lot and she missed him. He didn’t call back or even send a text. Not that she was surprised. She’d seen his face when he’d left the flower shop. In his mind, he was walking away forever.
She was prepared to do whatever it took to change his thinking on that.
Finally, they all said their goodbyes, each of them returning to their townhouses for late dinners. For Georgie, it would probably be an early bedtime as well. The two glasses of wine she’d drunk had made her drowsy.
She dropped her shorts by the back door and peeled her bra off through the sleeve of her T-shirt. She hated clothes and loved that time of the day when she could come home, strip down to nothing and be comfy.
She’d just opened her refrigerator, praying by some miracle elves had appeared overnight and stocked the damn thing, when there was a knock at the door.
Georgie peered through the peephole, surprised to find Nick standing on the stoop. She opened the door.
“Nick?”
He didn’t reply immediately as his gaze drifted along her not-quite-clothed state. She wasn’t indecent by any stretch of the imagination, but the way Nick soaked in her short T-shirt and panties, she almost felt naked.
Finally his eyes returned north, though there was definitely physical pain in them. She was tempted to take her own visual trip south, dying to see if he liked what he saw, but she didn’t think it was smart to poke the tiger.
“You called me,” he said at last.
She nodded, concerned by the somewhat hostile tone in his voice. She hadn’t really considered the call would make him angry. Annoyed, sure. But given that was the primary emotion she seemed to provoke in him, along with lust, she hadn’t really worried about her message. “Yeah. I did.”
“You miss me.”
It hadn’t been asked as a question, but she answered anyway. “Yeah. I have.”
Nick blew out an exasperated breath. Now this response she was familiar with. She gave him a guilty smile even though she suspected that would just ramp up his frustration with her. Sure enough, it did.
“Goddammit, George.”
She resisted the urge to dance when he called her by her nickname. Instead, she remained silent. Grinning like a fool, but silent.
Her too-pleased expression sent his temper flying even higher. “Here’s how this is going to go down. We’re just friends.”
She nodded, terrified he was going to cut her off once and for all. “Okay, but Nick—”
“No. I’m the one talking.”
Nick was usually pretty laid back. She wasn’t sure she’d ever heard him speak with such authority, his voice going so deep it almost rattled her bones. It was sexy as fuck.
“Oooh-kay,” she drawled nervously.
“So we’re going to take this one day at a time. We’re going to be on our best behavior. We’re not going to be in each other’s faces all the damn time any more. Like you and your wine girls, you and I will have a night. One night a week where we get together and catch up.”
She hated the sound of that, but Nick was on a roll.
“And no more of this impulsive, throwing-caution-to-the-wind bullshit. No more living on impulse and doing whatever feels good. I’m not going to touch you and you’re going to wear clothes when I’m around. We’re going to be adults about this.”
She was pretty sure she’d never do well playing grown up. She figured she should warn Nick that might be problematic for her…although he really should already know. “Um, yeah. That part…”
He rolled his eyes. “Will be hard for you. I get it. But you’re going to try.”
She nodded slowly. “Oh. Okay.” She considered his comment, then the day. “So? Tuesdays are our nights? I mean does this count?”
“No. Tonight is something different completely.”
She frowned. “It is?”
“Yeah. All that shit I just said doesn’t start until tomorrow. I’ve got something I need to do first.”
“What’s that?”
Nick didn’t reply. At least not with words. And not with a look that said he was particularly happy with the answer. Instead, he pushed her inside, kicked the door shut, shoved her against the nearest wall and kissed her senseless.
Nick was a seriously good kisser. She’d always appreciated that about him. He had this way of making her feel as if every part of her was being kissed, not just her lips. His hands cupped her face, his fingertips stroking her cheeks, making her feel delicate and cherished. His tongue touched her, tasting her. He leaned in with his body, covering her in this giant blanket of solid, hard muscle that didn’t just warm her, it burned, singed, ignited.
A few hours later, he released her. “That.”
Georgie was trembling with need. In her mind, she already had them naked and horizontal. “What the hell was that?” she whispered.
“I wanted to kiss you. But I can’t want that anymore. So now it’s out of my system.”
She scowled at the finality of his statement. “You sure you got it all
out because if not, I don’t mind—”
He raised a finger and pointed it at her. “This is what I’m talking about. You stroll through life doing whatever you want without considering the consequences.”
He had her there. She did. Or at least she had been like that. Georgie had been working very hard to change that since New Year’s, however.
“We didn’t think the last time we jumped into a relationship. Everything changed when we had sex. I don’t know why that happened, but I’m not risking it. I’m not sleeping with you, George. I can’t lose you again. It would kill me.”
It was the sweetest thing Nick had ever said to her. It also ripped her to shreds. She never wanted to hurt him. She’d rather cut out her own heart than do anything that would cause him one more second of pain.
Until she got her act together, until she’d found a way to prove to him that he could trust her, she’d play by his rules. She was so grateful he was giving her this chance.
She stretched up on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek. “I understand. Last time, I—”
“No. Don’t.” Nick refused to listen to her explanation. It wasn’t the first time she’d tried to bring up the past and he’d cut her off. At some point, she wanted to talk to him about what had happened, to try to explain why she’d run, what she had been feeling. Georgie hadn’t pushed the subject because she’d wanted time to show him she was different, but one of these days, they were going to have to have that heart to heart.
She shrugged and gave him a rueful grin. “Okay.”
He hugged her, a tight embrace that Georgie felt all the way to her soul.
When he pulled away, the frustration, anger and pain of the previous moments had faded. Her sweet, funny Nick was back, and then he studied her face. “You taste like wine.”
She giggled, then pointed toward the backyard. “Impromptu happy hour with the girls, soaking up the sunshine before that rain they’re calling for rolls in tomorrow.”
“Did you eat yet?”
She shook her head. “No, I was just scrounging around for something when you showed up. I’m afraid the cupboards are bare.”