‘No, I’d better get back but I’ll see him another time soon.’
‘So, what will you do now – about Jon and everything?’
‘I don’t know.’ Sarah shrugged. ‘Talk to Mum first I guess.’
Eva was tempted to share her own situation with Ben – whatever that might be – but Sarah clearly had enough to deal with for now. They continued along the beach for a few more minutes before deciding to turn back.
Eva called to Hamish, now in full flight racing along the water’s edge with another dog, and waved to the dog owner whom she recognized. She turned to Sarah who was walking with her head down and Eva was filled with a sudden urgency for her sister to seize her opportunity of happiness.
‘I really hope you can make this work, Sarah. If there’s a chance for you to be happy, to have a life with someone, then I hope you take it. It’s too precious to throw away.’ Eva swallowed, surprised by the strength of emotion in her voice. ‘Whatever you decide, I’m here for you,’ she finished with a small smile. Her sister’s expression gave nothing away and Eva could only hope her words might help in some way.
When Hamish finally returned they headed home. Eva glanced over at Ben’s empty driveway, shrugging off the irrational niggle she felt. Instead, she thought of Jamie coming home.
Chapter Thirteen
Jamie appeared at the kitchen door with a look of hunger that Eva could spot at ten paces. ‘Dinner’s almost ready,’ she told him before he started to raid the fridge. The cheese sauce was finished and now she was mixing it into the pasta. Apparently the food at the centre had been all right but what Jamie really wanted was his mum’s home-made macaroni. Scattering some breadcrumbs and grated cheese on top Eva put the dish under the grill for a few minutes.
Jamie ambled over to the table with Hamish close by his side. After their enthusiastic reunion last night the two of them had been inseparable apart from when Jamie had to go to school this morning. ‘You know, I’m sure you’ve grown,’ Eva said tilting her head to the side.
‘I was only away for two days, Mum, not two years.’
‘Well, it felt like two years to me.’ She smiled going over to him.
‘Mum,’ Jamie groaned, managing to dodge Eva’s arms as she came over for yet another hug. She couldn’t help it – she was so happy to have him home she felt like squeezing him every time she saw him.
Stepping off the bus last night, Jamie had looked somewhat bedraggled but Eva had been ecstatic to see him. Despite all her fretting, she could see how much he’d enjoyed himself. He’d been hyper on the drive home, describing in detail the thrills of his weekend. ‘Honest – it was amazing, Mum. We did waterfall jumps and boulder hopping. But the abseiling was best.’
Eva had winced as he recounted being harnessed up and tipped backwards over the drop to descend the cliff face. Seeing his mother’s face Jamie had reassured her. ‘It was fine, Mum, there was a safety rope and the instructor watched me the whole time.’
When they’d arrived home, Jamie had taken a much-needed hot bath. Eva had tipped out his rucksack, creating a mound of muddy clothes, and put on the first of many washings. She’d been battling all day trying to get everything dry, draping clothes over radiators and exhausting the tumble dryer. Even though it was November she’d hoped to hang out some washing but there was no chance of that. She had never known it to be so wet in St Andrews.
With the macaroni now bubbling and golden, Eva served a huge plateful to Jamie and joined him at the table, grateful for the seat. She’d been on her feet all day and exhaustion flooded her body. The day hadn’t got off to a good start when she’d slept through the alarm – something she’d never done before – and woken with a throbbing head and gritty eyes. She wasn’t sure if she was coming down with something or if it was just the weekend catching up with her.
She’d charged through to wake up Jamie, racing to get him ready for school in time, and felt as if she’d been trying to catch up with herself all day.
She had completed a final check of the bedrooms making sure they were fully ready. The beds were all made up, carpets hoovered, furniture dusted, and the en suites given a final clean. The first guest had arrived earlier before Jamie had come home from school and was already happily ensconced in her room.
Eva had exchanged emails with both guests, one male and one female, so she was able to deduce when she opened the door to a lady it was Miss Havers who had travelled from York. She carried a pile of books under one arm and a canvas bag in the other. In her sixties Eva guessed, with grey hair tucked behind her ears and rimless round glasses. She had a distracted air as if she was trying to remember something.
Eva had ushered her in out of the rain and showed her to her room, deciding to give her the front room that Sarah had recently vacated. Eva made sure she had everything she needed and Miss Havers had made it clear she was quite happy to be left alone.
‘You all right, Mum?’ Jamie broke into her reverie. ‘You don’t look so good.’
Eva knew she must look pretty awful to warrant a comment from her son. ‘I’m fine, just tired, that’s all. How’s your macaroni?’
‘Awesome.’ He smiled with a nod of his head. Eva tilted her head, hearing sounds at the front door.
‘That’ll be our next guest,’ she said to Jamie. ‘Can you stay here with Hamish? I’ll go and see to them.’
Eva pasted her best smile in place and swung opened the door. ‘Good evening,’ she said cheerfully. ‘Welcome to West Sands guest house. You must be Mr Hargreaves?’
‘Doctor Hargreaves actually,’ Eva heard him mutter as he marched through the door carrying with him a briefcase, a wet umbrella, and a sense of entitlement. Over the years, Eva had learned to recognize problem guests. Thankfully, they were few and far between. Most of her guests were lovely, simply looking to relax, enjoy one or two nights away from home. But every now and then there was someone intent on never being happy. You could almost sense it – a look of derision that said nothing you do will be good enough.
At first Eva had agonized over these people, thinking it was something she was doing wrong. But time had taught her there was no pleasing some people and so it was with a sense of gloom that she now identified this guest as one of those people.
‘I’m terribly sorry, Doctor Hargreaves. How was your journey?’
‘A nightmare. I really don’t know what’s wrong with this country – why is it you can’t travel from one place to the other without encountering some form of roadworks?’
Eva tutted sympathetically. ‘Oh dear, I’m sorry you’ve not had a good journey.’
‘And the blasted rain hasn’t stopped for hours.’ He shook his wet coat, clearly irritated by the weather too. Eva hung up his coat and asked him to sign a confirmation sheet with his details and located the keys for his room before leading the way upstairs. His beady little eyes darted about like a bird’s as if he was looking for something.
‘Do you do food?’
‘We only serve breakfast but I can recommend a good choice of restaurants, which are all very near. I can let you see some of their menus if you wish.’
‘I can assure you I am not going back out in that rain.’
Eva knew her job was to soothe the harassed traveller but she was pretty certain even if his journey and the weather had been perfect, Doctor Hargreaves would still find something to complain about.
‘Your room does have tea and coffee making facilities,’ she said politely pointing to the kettle and china cups on the table. Eva had also left a welcome tray with some fresh fruit and shortbread biscuits. ‘Your room has colour TV and there’s a CD/radio alarm. I’m usually about but my mobile number is on the information sheet if you need anything –’
Eva wasn’t sure how it happened but Hamish appeared out of nowhere, charged into the room, and took a flying leap on to the bed. Dr Hargreaves’s face turned puce and Eva thought for one terrible moment he was going to have a seizure of some sort.
‘Hamish! Off
now! I’m so sorry.’ Eva hauled Hamish off the bed.
‘You – you have a dog in here?’ he said in horror. A sudden terrible thought dawned on Eva.
‘You’re not allergic, are you?’
‘What? No,’ he replied gruffly. ‘But I can’t stand dogs, especially in a bedroom.’
‘Of course, I’m so sorry. He’s a family pet and this should never have happened. He won’t bother you again I can assure you.’ Oh dear, this was not going well. ‘Come on, boy, out of here.’ Eva gently shoved him out into the hall, trying to think of a way to compensate Dr Hargreaves for his upset. Inspiration came to Eva in the form of food.
‘I’m so sorry again. Seeing as it’s just a terrible night and you don’t want to go back out, please let me bring some food to your room, as a way of apology. I have home-made soup and bread and some local cheese if that’s acceptable?’
‘Very well,’ he harrumphed turning his back on her.
Eva found Jamie looking sheepish in his bedroom with an equally guilty-looking Hamish sitting beside him. ‘How did that happen?’ she snapped. ‘Actually, you know what, don’t tell me.’ Now wasn’t the time for a cross-examination about how Hamish ended up in a guest’s room – that was a conversation for another time. ‘Hamish hasn’t been out for a walk today. Can you take him out now please while I make some food and get the guest settled?’
‘Yeah, all right. Come on, boy,’ Jamie agreed, knowing Eva’s tone wasn’t one to be argued with.
In the kitchen, Eva took a deep breath and set about heating some home-made soup and defrosting bread she had in the freezer. She had discovered the joys of making bread shortly after she’d moved to St Andrews. There was nothing like the aroma of freshly baked bread drifting through the house and her guests seem to love it. She heard Jamie leave by the front door as she started to assemble a tray with the improvised meal for Dr Hargreaves.
With the bread defrosted, Eva began to cut slices of cheese, wondering if she had a temperature. The pain in her head had intensified and she was feeling distinctly hot and bothered. A gust of wind rattling against the window made her jump. She lost concentration for a split second and the knife slipped in her hand, slashing across her finger. Damn! She didn’t need to look to know it was a deep cut.
She closed her eyes as a wave of nausea hit her. She quickly grabbed a tissue, wrapped it round the wound, and fetched the first-aid box. She dressed the wound, washed her hands, and hurried upstairs with the tray before Dr Hargreaves wondered where she had got to.
***
The captain of Ben’s flight back to Edinburgh had just warned passengers to expect a bumpy landing due to high winds. Ben didn’t care if the plane flew backwards just as long they landed and the sooner the better. An urgency to see Eva consumed him. He needed to speak to her, to hold her. He wanted to hear all about Jamie’s trip. He smiled thinking how happy she would be to have him home.
As the plane began its descent through the thick blanket of grey cloud, Ben reflected on the last two days. It had been busy and painful at times, but now his sense of relief was palpable.
The hardest part had been taking that first step into the house again. The memory of the day he had led his mother out of the house to take her to the care home was as crushingly painful as ever. All the years she had lovingly looked after Ben, now in a cruel reversal of roles it was her trusting him. He didn’t know exactly what her brain was able to compute – it seemed to change every day – but he hoped with all his heart she didn’t realize he was taking her to a place full of strangers to care for her.
The house had looked more or less the same when he walked in. Everything was neat and tidy, but tired and worn-looking. Before the tenants had moved in Ben had decluttered the house, leaving only the large pieces of furniture. He’d taken a few bits and pieces and personal items but everything else was stored in the attic.
He’d walked from room to room and at first the rush of memories had overwhelmed him. But instead of blocking them as he’d done so often in the past, he let them in, remembering all the happy moments of their family life. His dad coming home early from work so they could kick a ball about in the back garden, chatting about their days over mealtimes. Ben’s friends coming over to play – his mother had always been happy to fill the house with his friends, even more so after his dad had died.
He smiled, thinking how his mother would have loved Eva. Loved that she was practical, independent, loving, and caring – those were things that would matter to her.
On a practical level, there had been plenty to do. Arthur had been more than willing to help, driving them to a DIY store where they bought extra security lighting. He’d managed to get an emergency locksmith to upgrade all the locks and a glazier to fix the broken glass.
He’d taken Arthur and Mary out to dinner to a local restaurant – it was the least he could do – and this morning when Arthur had asked him what his plans were, Ben had replied truthfully he didn’t know yet but would very soon. He wanted all his future decisions to involve Eva and he couldn’t wait to get back to her.
From that very first moment he’d met Eva something had pulled him in. Every time they met, he’d wanted more. At first he’d struggled with the knowledge a woman he’d just met could make him feel the way he did. It hadn’t exactly been the best of timings. The end of his relationship, moving, and starting a new job, the last thing he had expected was to find true love. His life with Samantha felt a million years away and he was amazed at how little he thought of her now.
With hindsight he could see what was blatantly obvious: that their relationship was never going to last. He had never given his heart to Samantha, never truly loved her, and he doubted she ever really loved him. In some ways maybe they had both been guilty of deceiving each other, clinging to each other as a means to an end. He hoped Samantha found happiness and if she was really lucky, found someone she loved too. Because Ben now knew he loved Eva with everything he had.
For the past five years Ben’s life had been at a standstill, existing on autopilot in a state of limbo. But now he knew exactly what he wanted, how he wanted his future to be, and was filled with a sense of coming home that he’d never experienced before. To Ben, everything now made sense.
***
Eva chewed her nail and looked out of the window. There was still no sign of Jamie and Hamish. How long had they been? She’d lost track of time but it felt like ages. She turned from the window telling herself not to panic, they would be home soon.
At least both her guests were now settled in their rooms, Dr Hargreaves appearing placated with the food she had provided. In the kitchen she busied herself wiping down already clean surfaces and needlessly moving things about. All she wanted was Jamie and Hamish to come home so they could all be tucked up safely. Not only was she sure she had a nasty cold, but her cut finger was throbbing with pain as well.
She paced back to the window and looked out again, a horrible feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t realized how heavy the rain was or how strong the wind had become. What had she been thinking asking Jamie to go out in this? She had only meant for him to take Hamish along the street for a few minutes. Where were they?
She took a deep breath, willing herself to be calm. But no matter how much she tried to convince herself, she knew they should be home by now. Ben’s driveway was still empty and his house still in darkness. His absence vexed her but she didn’t know why. Part of her longed to rush to him, for him to somehow protect her and make everything all right.
But he didn’t owe her any explanations as to his whereabouts. Just because they’d spent the night together didn’t mean he was responsible for her and Jamie in any way. It didn’t mean he was going to come and rescue her. This was down to her, the way it had always been.
The street was deserted as you’d expect. No sane person would choose to out on a night like this yet she had actually sent her son out into it. She tried to think where Jamie would go, what he would do.
Of course! He’d go to Fraser’s house. They’d be there now, engrossed in some game, totally unaware of the time. But even as she dialled the number, she knew Heather would have phoned her if Jamie had turned up at their house. By now the phone was ringing anyway and Douglas answered.
‘I don’t suppose Jamie’s at your house by any chance?’ She thought she probably sounded slightly hysterical.
‘Heather’s at her mother’s house and Fraser’s upstairs,’ Douglas told her.
‘Right, of course.’ Eva bit her lip.
‘Do you want me to come round?’ Douglas offered after Eva explained the situation.
‘No, no. I’m sure he’ll be back any minute.’ Eva hung up, her fear now full on. Her heart was racing and every ‘what if’ scenario was racing through her mind, none of them good.
For some reason the memory of one Halloween came to her when she had been a small girl. She’d been trick or treating with Sarah and someone dressed up as a ghost had jumped out at them, the deathly image terrifying Eva. She had run back to the house and thrown herself into her father’s arms. For those few moments she had felt utterly safe and protected. The memory of her dad holding her and a longing to feel that comfort again was so great it took her breath away. Eva suddenly felt very alone.
***
Ben pulled up in the driveway and instantly knew something was wrong. He saw Eva’s shape illuminated in her doorway, looking like she was about to go out and even from a distance he could tell she was agitated, her body tense. He climbed out of the car and ran over to her.
‘Eva?’
She turned to him, her beautiful face a picture of anguish. ‘I don’t know where Jamie is,’ she sobbed.
‘What do you mean?’
She wiped her hand across her face. ‘The guests arrived earlier. One of them was a bit difficult with Hamish so I asked Jamie to take him out for a walk.’ She paused, fighting to contain herself. ‘I only meant him to be ten minutes. I didn’t notice how bad the weather was otherwise I wouldn’t have asked him. He hasn’t come back. What if he went to the beach? What if Hamish went down to the water? Oh God –’ She ran a hand distractedly over her face.
Winter at West Sands Guest House Page 16