by Jenny McKane
Now, she could feel it flooding through her. The questions. The anger. Would she ever find out who she really was? She thought again of the dream. The last time that she had it…another woman had appeared beside the old one, a woman who looked just like her.
She knew, in her heart, that the woman was her real mother. She had been a warrior. She had carried a sword and had blue patterns painted on her face. Who had she been in The Time Before?
“Your mind is restless,” said Mother Oda, staring at her. “All will be well. After we have finished eating, I want to take you outside to a special place.”
Avalon stared at the old woman. “What place, Mother?”
Mother Oda smiled. “You will know, as soon as we get there,” she said. “Teitur wants to come with us, as well.”
Avalon glanced at the wolf, still sleeping on the rug. “How do you know?”
Mother Oda raised an eyebrow. “He is speaking to me,” she said. “There is so much you need to know, but so little time to tell you.” She brushed crumbs from her hands and stood up. “Still. We will try.”
She turned to Skyresh and Everard, who were still eating. “I will leave you two alone,” she said. “Please try not to fight. I sense the discord between you, but you both need to put it aside. There is a higher purpose here, and it involves both of you.”
Skyresh nodded with difficulty. “I will do as you ask,” he said. “As long as the one who sits next to me agrees to do the same.” He looked at Everard.
Everard sighed. “I will try,” he said.
“Good,” said Mother Oda. “We shall not be long. Come, Avalon.”
Avalon stood up, feeling strangely disoriented. The smoke from the burning sage filled the air, hanging in low clouds throughout the room. Teitur the wolf got up slowly and stared at them. His tongue was lolling from his mouth. He looked like he was smiling at them.
***
Mother Oda led her to the back of the house and down a narrow path. Overhanging vines, drooping with vivid purple flowers, brushed against Avalon’s face. Teitur plodded behind; she could feel the wolf’s rasping breath on the back of her legs.
They got to a clearing, and Mother Oda stopped and turned back to Avalon, gesturing.
“This way,” she said.
The vines grew dense. Avalon had to use her hands to brush them aside, and then she saw it.
A small dwelling, hidden deep within the vines. Her heart started to beat faster. Why did she suddenly feel a mix of anticipation and anxiety?
Mother Oda stopped at the doorway, which was simply a curtain.
“You know what this is, don’t you?” she said, softly. “You have seen it—many times—in your dream.” Her eyes carefully assessed Avalon. “Take your time.”
Avalon took a deep breath then parted the curtain. The dwelling was one room. On the floor, cushions were scattered everywhere. Her eyes swept over the distinct patterns on them. The patterns looked familiar.
Thick white candles were burning all around. Some were placed in saucers on the floor; others were in candelabras, dotted around the room. The sweet scent of sandalwood filled the air.
And then her eyes were drawn to the center of the room.
She would recognize her anywhere. She had seen her in her dream, sometimes the same, sometimes different, but always constant, a presence that seemed to emanate peace and wisdom.
The Goddess.
Avalon froze. She couldn’t take a step further. Her eyes raked over the statue. It was not particularly large, but it seemed to fill the room. The figure of a woman, sitting in a cross-legged position. She wore a thin gown held together with a sash. A large, intricately carved amulet hung around her neck. Her hair fell in gentle waves around her, topped with a looping headpiece that rested on her forehead.
She was beautiful.
Avalon’s heart surged with love. It seemed to surround her, enveloping the space. She had felt it, fleetingly, in her dream, but being here, in this room, with the Goddess before her, was overwhelming.
She dropped to her knees, bowing her head. Tears filled her eyes, and then a great sadness overcame her.
She opened her eyes, feeling a presence beside her. It was Mother Oda.
“You have seen her before,” the old woman whispered. “She is the center of everything. She is the soft rain that falls, and she is the stars in the sky at night. She has always been, and always will be. She is the Goddess of Light.”
Avalon nodded slowly. “Yes,” she whispered. “I know her. She has appeared in my dream, many times.” She turned and stared at the old woman. “Mother Oda, there is so much that I do not understand.”
Mother Oda nodded. “It is overwhelming,” she said. “Come, let us sit before her, and I will answer any questions you have to the best of my ability. I do not know everything, of course, but I know enough.”
They sank into cushions. Teitur padded into the room and fell in front of the statue. He gazed around, and then he finally rested his eyes on Avalon. He seemed to be waiting—for something.
Avalon took a deep breath. “She has appeared in my dream,” she said. “I also had a vision of her, in the ruins of a temple, in the Far North.”
Mother Oda nodded. “Yes, her presence still lingers in ruins,” she said. “When the Jarle invaded the realm, they burned all the temples. They hoped to wipe her out entirely. They thought that if they destroyed her homes, they would destroy her.”
A single tear fell down Avalon’s face. “This temple has survived. How?”
Mother Oda smiled. “This is the Safe Zone,” she said. “Not many live here, but those that do are old keepers of the magic. When the realm was invaded, we managed to escape. The Jarle have tried to come in, but we have just enough power to keep them at bay.” She sighed heavily. “But the years march by, Avalon. We are getting old, and soon we will be no more. If others do not come and learn the ways, it will die out, just as it was destroyed in the realm.”
Avalon stared at the Goddess. She seemed to be reaching out to her in a way that Avalon could not fathom.
“Why do I have the dream?” she whispered. “What is she trying to say to me?”
Mother Oda sighed. “You have told me that you were not born Jarle,” she said. “You know that you were taken from your real family as a baby. Tell me, who or what else appears in your dream alongside the Goddess?”
Avalon closed her eyes. “There is always an old woman,” she whispered. “She has long white hair, like yours. She loves me.” Avalon took a deep breath. “I don’t know how I know this, I just do. I feel her love. Sometimes, there is a winged creature as well.”
Mother Oda nodded. “The woman was a Mother,” she said. “A powerful one, by the sounds of it. The creature you speak of is probably an owl. They were companions, in the old days. It is right and proper that they would appear to you together.”
“The same as the crows that guided us here?”
Mother nodded. “They are all birds, but the owls held a special place. They were warriors, who guided and fought alongside the Anasta.”
“The Anasta?” Avalon turned and stared at the old woman.
“That is the name of the warrior women,” Mother said. “They were everywhere, throughout the realm, but there was one line of Anasta that ruled. They were the queens of Masgata.”
Masgata. The name fell through Avalon’s mind. She recognized it. She stared at the Goddess, her eyes wide.
“Masgata was the name of the realm,” she intoned. “The queens protected the realm…with magic and spells that were passed down the line.”
Mother Oda gasped. “Your memories are returning,” she whispered. “You have had glimpses of them before. The dream is one. But in this temple, where the Goddess is so powerful, they are getting stronger.”
Avalon’s head fell. “Another woman has appeared in my dream recently,” she said. “A young woman, who looks a lot like me. Staring at her is like looking into a mirror. She carries a sword and has blue patte
rns painted on her face.”
Mother Oda stared at Avalon. “You know who she is, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Avalon whispered. “She is my mother. I know it. But, Mother Oda, who was she?”
Mother Oda closed her eyes and seemed to sway where she sat.
“She was a queen of Masgata,” she whispered, her eyelids flickering. “She tried to protect you. She rode out to battle the dark army. But she was defeated.”
Avalon gasped. “My mother was a queen?”
But Mother Oda was swaying perilously on her cushion. She gave a soft cry, falling forward. Teitur let out a yelp and rushed to her side.
“Mother?” Avalon gripped the old woman. “Are you alright?”
The old woman’s eyes slowly opened. “It gets harder,” she whispered. “I am so old.” She stared down at the wolf, gently stroking his head. He yelped again and licked her hand.
“Teitur understands,” she said, still stroking the wolf. “He is my close companion, who has stayed by my side these many years in exile. He is getting old, too.”
She gazed at Avalon. “Soon, I shall be gone,” she said. “I have lived here many years, keeping the old ways alive. I have entreated the Goddess to show me the way—how to defeat the Jarle and lead the people to liberation—but I have never had an answer.” She took a deep breath. “Until now. You have come to me, Avalon, for a reason.”
Avalon swallowed painfully. “I feel that I was meant to come here,” she said.
Mother Oda nodded. “Yes, you were always on your way here,” she said. “Don’t you see? You are a queen, Avalon. You are the last queen of Masgata. You are an Anasta warrior woman.”
Tears streamed down Avalon’s face. “My mother was a queen. And the old woman?”
“A queen also.” Mother Oda sighed. “They both tried to save you. It is why they keep appearing to you. They are beseeching you to remember who you are and what your destiny is.”
Avalon held her breath. “My destiny is to lead the people to liberation. To defeat the Jarle and bring the magic and the animals back to the realm.”
Mother Oda nodded again. “It is so,” she said. “But it is not an easy destiny. You must carry it like a great stone upon your shoulders. The stone will slip and fall, but you must keep carrying it, my dear one. No one can shoulder it for you, but you do have some who will accompany you and ease the burden.”
Avalon reached out and touched Teitur’s fur. It was softer than she expected. The animal raised his head and stared at her. His yellow eyes seemed to pierce her soul.
“Will Skyresh and Everard be my companions?” She stroked the fur, luxuriating in the feel of it. It filled her with delight.
The old woman sighed. “That, I do not know,” she said. “They walk alongside you for a reason, but whether both will be there for the whole journey, I cannot say. For now, they are here, and they will help you.” She paused. “If they can resolve the tension that stretches between them like an arrow’s bow.”
Avalon frowned. “They do not trust each other.”
“No.” Mother Oda shook her head. “They do not. If only they realized that they are more similar than they think, but they cannot see past the differences. And then, there is you.”
“What about me?” Avalon stared at Mother.
The old woman laughed, softly. “They both want to claim you as their own, Avalon. Again, for different reasons. They see each other as a threat to that.” She sighed. “The workings of the heart are as complex as any magic, and it unravels at its own pace.”
Avalon breathed deeply. She knew that what Mother Oda was saying was true, but she had been trying to deny it. Everard had already declared his love for her. It was why he had turned against the realm. Now she wondered how far that love would take him. If he had no real belief or passion in the rebellion, how could he truly work for it?
Her thoughts turned to Skyresh, and immediately her heart started beating faster. She felt such a strong connection with him. How did he feel about her? She remembered her time at the Re-Education Center, when the teacher had brought in the woman guardian who claimed that Skyresh had tried to seduce her. They were claiming that his charm and magnetism were manipulative. She had wondered, then, if he had done the same thing to her. Were his feelings for her genuine, or did he just see her as a means to an end?
Skyresh burned with passion for his people and his desire to lead them to liberation. He would do anything to accomplish that. If he found out tomorrow that she was not true to the cause, he would cast her aside without hesitation. She knew that.
It was all too hard. She couldn’t make sense of her feelings for either of them.
“Do not think too deeply on it,” said Mother Oda, staring at her. “It will play out as it must. You must focus on who you are and what you must do. You are a queen, Avalon.”
“I am a queen,” she repeated silently to herself. Her heart filled with wonder at the very idea. “A queen from a long line of women warriors. I must not let those women down.”
Chapter Four
Avalon awoke slowly and stretched. She could not remember the last time that she had such a good night’s sleep.
She stared around, at the small room that Mother Oda had led her into the night before. The walls were painted a muted yellow, which seemed to glow slightly. She saw a narrow window with bright sunlight streaming through. She snuggled beneath the quilt for a moment. She could stay here—forever—in this beautiful valley. She could learn the ways of her people from Mother Oda; she could teach her the magic and how to communicate with the animals.
It was a lovely fantasy that she indulged in for a moment. Then she sighed, pulling the quilt aside, and stood up. The life of an exile, even if she was learning the magic, would not change anything. She would grow more knowledgeable and increase her power, but what was happening in Agnoria was still there.
The Jarle needed to be overthrown. And she was a warrior queen with a destiny to fulfil.
Mother Oda was stirring the cauldron over a fire in the kitchen. She looked up when Avalon entered the room and smiled.
“You look well rested,” she said. “I am glad. You will need your strength for what lies ahead.”
Avalon nodded. “I know, Mother. A part of me yearns to stay here with you so that you can teach me, but I know that I have a different path to follow.”
The old woman ladled out some broth from the cauldron into a bowl and passed it to Avalon. “Sit down and eat.”
The door opened, and Skyresh walked into the room. He looked refreshed, too. His vivid blue eyes sparkled as they gazed at Avalon. She studied him carefully. His hair was beginning to grow back. A light brown fuzz covered his head. Again, she felt the pull of the connection between them.
Mother Oda passed another bowl to him. “Sit down. We will talk over breakfast about what I think you should do. I would have discussed it last night, but you were all so tired. Where is Everard?”
“I saw him walking on the path at the back,” Skyresh said quickly. “I left him to it. He seemed distracted.” He took the bowl and sat on a cushion next to Avalon.
The door opened again, and Everard came in. Avalon gazed at him, frowning. What Skyresh said was true. Everard’s face was clouded. His dark eyes seemed to hold the weight of the world within them.
Avalon knew that it must be so hard for him. He left everything he knew and loved behind—for something that he doesn’t even really believe in. He was struggling, there was no doubt about that.
“Everard.” Mother Oda was smiling. “Please, sit down. There are things that need to be discussed.”
When they were all seated and finished their breakfast, Mother Oda stared at them.
“Skyresh,” she said slowly. “Did you have any plans for what you should do, now that you are in the Outlying Zone?”
Skyresh frowned. “Our immediate plan was just to get here,” he replied slowly. “To rest, and re-group. It was a spur of the moment decision to come here, an
d only made because there was nowhere safe to be within the realm.”
Mother Oda sighed. “The Goddess spoke to me last night,” she said. “Agnoria is suffering badly under the weight of recent events. The Jarle have shut down all the roads and curfewed the villages, hunting for all of you.”
Skyresh’s jaw tightened. “We must return,” he said his voice quivering. “I cannot stay here in exile while my people suffer.”
Mother Oda shook her head. “No, Skyresh,” she said gently. “I understand how frustrated and angry you are, but that is not the way. What would happen if you all returned? You would be captured, and then you are no help to the people.”
Skyresh gritted his teeth but said nothing.
“What do you propose we do, Mother?” asked Avalon. She reached over and laid a hand on Skyresh’s arm, but he did not acknowledge it. He stared straight ahead, his blue eyes glowering.
Mother Oda sighed again. “The rebellion is not working,” she said bluntly. Avalon felt Skyresh stiffen, but he was silent.
“Your intentions are good,” said Mother, gazing at Skyresh. “But it is just tit for tat. You do something to them, and then they do something to you. Nothing is achieved, and the people keep suffering.” She paused. “I propose that you do something that will significantly weaken them.”
Skyresh turned to her. “What?”
“The Outlying Zone consists of three territories,” the Mother said. “You are in the Safe Zone. As you travel further inwards, you will reach the Outer Limits. And right at the center is what is termed The Interior.”
“What is there?” Everard asked, leaning forwards.
Mother Oda smiled. “It is the center of their power over the Outlying Zone,” she said. “It is all contained within one building called The Tower. In there, the spells are weaved and maintained to keep the animals within the Zone, but they also do other things.” Her voice had lowered to a whisper.
Avalon felt a shiver go through her. “What other things?”
Mother Oda had paled. “They create spells to change animals,” she whispered. “Sometimes, they combine elements of two animals to create stronger creatures. These creatures are bred to be fierce and loyal to them. Their aim is to use these creatures to aid in the suppression of the people of Agnoria.”