Back to You

by Annie Brewer

  “Hey, just want to apologize for being a dick the other day.” It’s Brady finally speaking to me again. I snort out loud and mumble to myself. “What did you say?” Sarah asks me from outside the door.

  “Nothing, I’m talking to myself.” I text him back.

  “Which time?” I text back

  “Haha, smartass.”

  “ I’m being serious Brady”“

  “Look we’ll talk soon. I promise.” I put my phone back in my purse.

  “Are you trying on clothes Sarah?”

  “Yes but I doubt I’m buying anything.”

  After deciding not to buy anything, we both walk out. “Where to next sis?” Sarah asks with her arm looped through mine. I look at her, grin plastered on my face. “Brady’s.”

  Chapter 19

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you, ya know for support?” Sarah asks me while we are sitting in my car in front of Brady’s house. I look out my window to his front door, wondering if someone is going to come out any moment.

  I shake my head and look back at her. “No, your coming here with me is support enough. Now I’ve got to do this on my own. You just drive around the neighborhood for a little while and I’ll call you when I’m done.” I take off my seat belt and she does the same. “So what are you going to do if it’s true?” I shrug as a response. I get out of my car and she crawls over the center console and gets in the driver’s seat. I walk over to the passenger side and stick my head in the open window.

  “Listen to me, stay around here. You can’t afford to get in trouble.” Sarah tilts her head and purses her lips together. “Come on Abby, I know this. I won’t be far. I’m almost sixteen anyway.”

  “Almost means squat when it involves the law. The law requires an adult in the car with you at all times, when you drive. Just stay close by and I’ll text you in a bit.” I wave bye to her and she drives off. I stand there for a minute looking after her, well actually down the road since she’s already gone at this point. I turn and walk slowly up the walkway. I think about what Sarah asked me in the car. I’m not sure exactly what I’d say or do if she was in there. I mean, what can I? I’m not any better than them. I sit down on the step leading up to the front door. I look out at the houses and trees, trying to collect my nerve. My phone beeps. I pull it out of my purse and look at the screen.

  “Good luck babe, you got this!” I drop my head down, a little peeved. Sarah must have told Lucas what I was doing. Damn her and her mouth.

  “Um, thanks. I’m going to kill Sarah!” I reply.

  “Relax, she just wanted me to know. She’s looking out for you.”

  “She’s still dead”.

  “Okay, well I told her you’d be mad at her for running her mouth.” I smile. Lucas can always make me see the brighter side of things. And I can always count on him to make me laugh, especially during a difficult time.

  “I love you, gotta go now. Text you later.”

  “Okay, love you too! ” I put my phone away and stand up.

  I knock on the door and wait for someone to answer. I know I can just go to the window and probably peak in and see what’s going on in there. But I decide against it. Just as I’m about to knock a second time, the door swings inward. His mother stands, gives me a big smile when she realizes it’s me. “Abby, what a nice surprise! I haven’t seen you in awhile.” She gestures for me to come in and pulls me into an embrace. It’s a little awkward but I just go with it anyway. “Hey Mrs. Wilson.” She waves her hand and says “Please call me by my name. It makes me feel old when you call me that.”

  “Sorry Lisa, it’s a habit.” I close the door behind me and turn back to Brady’s mother. She’s a sweet lady and always supportive of Brady and me. I could talk to her easily but for some reason, I couldn’t really look at her now. I know she would be upset if she knew I had cheated on her son. My hands start sweating and I shove them in the pockets of my jeans.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Whiskey. “No thank you, I’m good.” She walks away from the kitchen then and says “I’ll go tell Brady you’re here.” I shake my head, almost giving myself whip lash and whisper

  “No, please let me go in. I wanted to surprise him. Please.” He’ll be surprised alright. She waves her hand as if to say “sure go ahead” so I quietly thank her and head up the stairs to his room.

  I tip toe, quietly as a mouse, and then freeze. I can I hear voices. This is not happening. I finally reach the top of the stairs and my heart starts racing.

  Suddenly, my phone beeps; I quickly find it and turn it off, without seeing who the text is from. I make a right, then follow the hall to Brady’s room and notice the door is closed. Of course it’s closed, why am I not surprised? I stand in front of it and my hands are sweating. Am I going to finally confront them and get everything out there? Or, am I going to be a coward and run away? I guess we’ll find out soon enough, if I actually make a move. My feet are planted firmly in place and I can’t quite get them to move. I take a deep breath and open the door. At first, I don’t see anything. I just see his dresser, desk and his TV, playing some movie I can’t quite make out.

  Then, as I open the door wider, his bed comes into view and that’s when I see them. Brady and Brooke, together in his bed. Vile rises up in the back of my throat, but I force it down hastily. I pause; staring at them snuggled up in the blankets. I feel sick. I’m not sure which is worse, seeing them all tangled up, or the betrayal. I feel angry that they both did this to me, but worse, that they hid it. Finally, Brooke spots me and stiffens. She must say something to Brady because right away he glances at me, eyes wide in a mixture of shock and horror. Busted!

  I quickly slam the door and run down the stairs, tears are blurring my vision. “Abby? What’s wrong sweetie?” I hear Brady’s mother ask, as I run past her forgetting to acknowledge her. I thrust open the door and close it behind me, running down the walk way. I reach into my purse to find my phone and text Sarah.

  “Abby, please wait.” Brady says suddenly in front of me. I don’t listen to him but keep fiddling with my phone until it turns on.

  “Please, we need to talk.” He tries again. This time I look up at him, anger on my face. I know I should relent, but I’m stubborn and I’m not ready to face the fact that I’m guilty too. I just want to be angry for a little while, before giving up and facing the truth. I look back at my phone and send a text to Sarah telling her to pick me up.

  “I have nothing to say to you Brady. I’m just glad I know the truth now.” He steps closer to me and grabs my hand but I pull away just as quickly.

  “Don’t. Just. Don’t. “

  “It wasn’t supposed to happen. I didn’t want it to happen Abby. It just did. I’m so sorry.” Right then Sarah pulls up to the curb and I push past Brady.

  “Please talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.” I stop and turn around to face him.

  “You don’t want to know what I’m thinking.” I say as I get in the car, and Sarah drives off.

  Driving down the highway, we are both quiet. Sarah looks at me every once in awhile and I just stare out the window. I should be happy, or at least relieved since it would give me a reason to end things with Brady, once and for all. Then finally, Lucas and I can be a couple. But it only makes me sad instead. What was I hoping for? I’m not really sure, but I know this is not the reaction I wanted to have. I lean over and turn on the radio, hoping it will drown out my thoughts. I flip through station after station. When that doesn’t help, I turn it off and push myself back into my seat.

  “Wanna talk about it?” Sarah asks me finally.

  “I just don’t get it. I thought that if I finally saw them with my own eyes it would be a relief. Instead, it’s a kick to the gut!” I say dramatically as I lay my seat back.

  “Well face it Abby, it still hurts to see the truth. I think part of you was hoping that they weren’t really sneaking around behind your back with each other. It would still piss anyone off, especi
ally if it’s your best friend and your boyfriend.”

  “Thanks, I feel much better.” I say sarcastically. Sarah laughs until she sees my glare.

  “Sorry, just being real here. I think you feel worse because you know in your heart that you’re guilty too. And you have every right to feel guilty, but honestly I didn’t see you making it past graduation. So, what better time to break up than now, that way you can go to prom with Lucas.”

  “He hasn’t asked me yet.” I say quietly.

  “Oh please Abby, he will. Especially now that you and Brady are history. And yes, there is a God!” She yells, proudly. I playfully punch her shoulder. She grabs it dramatically and says, “Ouch that really hurt!”

  “Sarah shut up! You’re so mean.” But I can’t help and laugh along with her. It’s times like these that I’m grateful for a sister like Sarah. She may be younger than me but she’s wise beyond her years. And she knows how to make me laugh.

  “Are you hungry?” She asks me after she stops laughing at herself. I nod, realizing I actually am hungry. “Yes.”

  “Where are we going?” I ask as I notice she turns around and goes the opposite direction.

  “You’ll see.” She has a mischievous grin on her lips and I can’t help but wonder what she’s up to. I realize where we’re going once we pull up in front of Lucas’s house. Sarah honks her horn twice. “Sarah, what are we doing here?”

  “Picking your boyfriend up, duh!” She answers and I glare at her, still unsure of her plan. Lucas comes out of his front door and walks out to my car with a big grin on his face. It is a beautiful sight to see, so I smile back as he opens the back door and slides in.

  “Howdy, ho ladies.” He says, and he winks at me. I feel a blush creep on my cheeks.

  “So what’s going on?” I ask him with a curious grin.

  “Well, we’re all hungry so I thought we should all grab a bite to eat. I mean since everyone knows about you and Lucas, well at least the important people do I figure it’s safe to go out and have a proper meal together.” She smiles and I can’t help but feel grateful for her sneaky plan. I sit back in my seat and feel Lucas’s hand caress my right side. I shiver from his touch. He uses his thumbs to slowly caress in a circular motion one way, then pauses and does it the other way. It’s all I can do to just sit and behave, without feeling the urge to pounce on him in my back seat.

  “So, aren’t you underage to drive Sarah?” He asks distractingly as he continues his taunting. I squirm a little and he lightly slaps my leg. I freeze in shock, but I like it.

  “Well, sure but I’ll be sixteen soon enough. Plus, I’m a great driver. And aren’t you already eighteen Lucas?” Finally he stops and I feel relieved.

  “No, I’m like just a month shy of eighteen. I’ll be legal right before graduation.” He starts back up and I slightly jump.

  “Lucas could you not make my sister all antsy while I’m driving? I’d hate to get in a wreck and blame it on you for making her jumpy and in turn making me freak out wondering what the hell is going on.” I laugh to myself as he takes his hand away.

  “Oh yeah, sorry Sarah. I guess I’ll save that for a private moment.” Sarah glances at me and shakes her head. I turn my head and stare out the window. “So where are we going?” I ask out of curiosity and to also break the awkward silence. “I still love you Lucas.” I say as I turn to look at him. He winks at me and licks his top lip.

  “Um, Denny’s?” Sarah asks us. I look at her, confused for a minute then remember I asked her where we were going. “I really don’t care. I just need to shut my stomach up before I beat on it in irritation.” Sarah laughs and says to Lucas “Is Denny’s ok or do you prefer something else?”

  “Oh Hell I don’t care where we go. Food is food. I took your sister to IHOP one night so it’s all good.”

  “Oh it was fine Lucas. I had fun regardless, even with that bimbo flirting with you the whole time.” I retort.

  “What? Y’all went on a date? When?” Sarah asks dramatically.

  “It wasn’t really a date. He took me there after the party, since Brooke went home drunk with some guy and Brady was too drunk and high to take me home.” I give Lucas a smitten look and say, “He took care of me.” I touch my lips as the memory of that night fills my mind. It was close to perfect, when I think about making out with him on the bed, then again, in the car after eating at IHOP.

  “Yeah, I swooped in as your sisters knight in shining man, or something like that.” Sarah laughs and says, “It’s armor, knight in shining armor.” I reach out and hold his hand briefly then he brings my hand to his lips, kissing each knuckle tenderly.

  “Seriously guys, ewe. Save that mushy stuff for when I’m not in the same vicinity as you.” I take my hand back as we pull into the parking lot.

  We enter the half empty half full restaurant, which has a small line waiting to get in. Okay, I can wait. I will not die of hunger, not yet anyway. I think to myself. My stomach starts growling loudly and Lucas looks at me. “What? I’m hungry.” I silently curse my stomach for being so annoying. Sarah puts her name down, while we sit on the bench and wait. I look around to see if I recognize anyone. My phone beeps, making me jump. “My God Abby you’re mighty skittish today.” I smirk at her and look down at my phone. “Sorry, I got a text that I wasn’t expecting.” Lucas looks at me and cocks his head to the side curiously. I shrug and read it to myself.

  “Hey, we need to talk. Brooke feels horrible and doesn’t want to lose your friendship.” I mumble loudly to myself some profanity, as curious bystanders look at me. I shut my phone and Sarah stares at me, waiting.

  “What is the deal with you people and staring at me? Do I look that funny to you?”

  “No, not exactly. Come on, who was it and what did they say?” Lucas sits there quietly but I can tell he’s just as anxious to know what my ex had to say. I relent and put my phone away, letting out a long sigh then a chuckle, mainly to myself.

  “It was Brady, he said that Brooke feels bad, no wait he said horrible and she doesn’t want to lose my friendship. Seriously? She hasn’t spoken to me in like a freakin’ week or so and she’s afraid of losing me. Yeah, I can see she’s so concerned about our friendship.” Lucas takes my hand in his and squeezes, running his thumb over my knuckles, gently. It calms me. I close my eyes and lean my head back.

  “It’s just frustrating. I’m frustrated with myself but I’m also upset that she didn’t even try to stop me from leaving Brady’s house and explain herself. Anything would have been better than her just sitting there and doing nothing. We’ve been friends long enough that I thought I meant something to her.” I open my eyes and look at both of them for some kind of reassurance that tells me I’m not the only one at fault for everything. But they just stare at me speechless.

  “Look Abby, maybe she’s not sure what to say right now. Maybe she’s hurting because she’s torn between her friendship with you and her relationship with Brady. Give her some time; I’m sure she’ll be more apt to explaining her side. I never liked Brady but Brooke was there for you through a lot.” What Sarah said did make sense. Maybe she was having a hard time with all of this as well and had Brady to lean on for support the way I did with Lucas. I guess I should give her a chance to explain or something before I throw away years of friendship. But there is something I can’t get out of my head.

  “Brooke told me that Brady would probably leave me if I waited too long to give it up. She was never certain if he’d ever cheated on me all this time but she did say that he has needs and eventually would stray. Maybe he initiated it and she couldn’t resist, leaving her in an uncomfortable position.” It was likely.

  “Wow, she told you that? What a friend! She must have jumped his bones first. Then again, Brady always seemed to me like a creep that would do your best friend if he didn’t get what he wanted from the home front.” Sarah spat out venom, dripping from her words. She really didn’t like him. Lucas sits there quietly, observing our conversation. I fe
el bad, probably making him uncomfortable talking about sex with Brady. I squeeze his hand and tickle his palm with my fingertip. He perks up and smiles.

  “So, what do you think Lucas? Being that you’re a guy and know what guys want and all.” I nudge him with my shoulder.

  “Sarah, party of three your table is ready.” The hostess at the counter says as she grabs three menus. We get up and follow her to the booth, she places the menus down.

  “Ladies first.” Lucas smiles, while he gestures for me to sit down first, and then he slides in next to me. Sarah sits across from us and stretches her arms out and accidentally kicks me in the shin as her whole body stretches out. “Ouch!” I shout. The hostess doesn’t pay attention to the commotion; instead she keeps her eyes on Lucas, admiring him. Here we go again! I think. “Your waitress will be right with you to take your orders.” She smiles, still staring stupidly at my boyfriend.

  “Thank you so much, you can leave now.” Sarah says kindly to her. The girl takes the hint and scowls at Sarah, storming off. I smile at Sarah in thanks.

  “Geez, could that chic have been more obvious? What a pathetic loser!” She never ceases to amaze me with her sarcastic comments, which could be construed as rude. I just find it endearing, at least now I do. Lucas holds my hand under the table. Goosebumps crawl all over my body.

  “Honestly, I don’t know what to think. He seemed to really love you but then again he wasn’t always supportive in everything you did. I always secretly wondered if there was something going on between those two. They seemed too chummy to me.” Lucas says as he looks lost in thought.

  “Please, he never loved my sister. Not the way he should have. And definitely not the way you always did.” Lucas looks at me then and smiles, melting me from the inside. He winks at me before he speaks.