And Aidan, the one person who might have understood wasn’t an option any more.
Aidan. That’s exactly what she didn’t need right now. A wallow in that particular memory. That wouldn’t improve the blood pressure reading.
She picked up the phone again and opened the internet browser. Tapped in ‘blood pressure’ and ‘six months pregnant’. And winced as page upon page spilled out in front of her. Most of them were doom-laden, mentioning words like preeclampsia which she hadn’t even heard of before this morning. Now, after a lecture in the hospital, it was emblazoned on the front of her eyeballs. Well, she didn’t need to hear any more about it today.
She tapped at the browser again, made sure Google was open at its Irish portal. Typed in ‘blood pressure’, and ‘worried’, and ‘bed rest’. And ‘Dublin’ for good measure. No harm in narrowing it down.
Three results. One, a lecturing leaflet from her own maternity hospital. No thanks. One piece of spam from an online drug sales company. Definitely not – she stroked her stomach protectively, she wasn’t completely stupid. And one link to a discussion page. She squinted at the address. Netmammy. Strange. She had a feeling she’d heard of it before. She shook her head. It could come to her eventually. Extending her finger, she poked at the link and watched as a twee navy-and-gold page unfurled on the phone screen.
HIGH BP
Baby4Me
Hi girls. Am bawling crying here. Just back from docs and he says I have high BP. Not sure what the reading was I was too upset to listen to him. Anyway he said my urine was clear but he’d keep an eye on it and I have to report any swelling. Any clue what it’s about? Sooo worried … am 37 weeks.
MeredithGrey
Sorry to hear that pet. It’s quite common unfortunately, particularly at your stage. Basically he’s worried that you might develop pre eclampsia. You need lots of rest. Make sure to talk to him if you don’t understand anything.
ToffeePop
I got that too at 37 weeks. Ended up being induced because it wouldn’t come down. You have to keep an eye on it, it’s dangerous.
Shauna
Sorry to hear that hon. Time to catch up on a few episodes of TV you missed I think!
Yeah, if you’re into cookery programmes. Claire checked the date on the post – it was over ten months old. The woman Baby4Me would have had her baby by now, and presumably everything had been fine. Was there a way to find out, she wondered?
She clicked on the username and was directed to another page telling her that Baby4Me had over 1,000 posts on Netmammy. And no life, clearly. She clicked on the most recent one.
WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?
Baby4Me
Oh girls DD was up four times last night with a dirty nappy? Four times! I could cry and I’m back to work next month! Can’t cope! Do you think it’s a bug or is she teething?
Claire shut that page down. No, thanks. She had enough to be doing thinking about the pregnancy, time enough to worry about shitty nappies when the time came. Still, obviously everything had worked out okay for Baby4Me, given that there was a baby filling the nappies. It was reassuring in way, knowing that someone else had been through the same thing. She had been at a much later stage, though. Wonder if anyone else …
She put her phone down and picked up the remote again. Ridiculous. Ridiculous to go looking for answers online. She had had a long chat with the doctor yesterday; she’d even had a flick through one of Matt’s many baby books when she came home. She knew what was going on. Still though.
The cookery programmes had now changed to home improvement shows, each one as out of date as elephant flares.
Netmammy. Why did that name ring a bell? Claire stared into the distance and then frowned.
Bloody pregnancy. Couldn’t keep facts in her head half the time. Not that she’d ever admit it, though.
Taking a quick look around the room as if someone would spot her foolishness, Claire picked up the phone again. Opened Netmammy. And registered her name.
HI THERE
SofaBound
Hello. As the name says I have been sidelined onto the sofa. I have high blood pressure. Just been told by the doctor to spend the rest of the pregnancy ‘taking it easy’. Am 6 months pregnant. A bit frustrated and worried obviously. Anyone got any advice for me? Thanks
She sent the message, heaved herself off the sofa and went to make a cup of tea. After another inevitable trip to the toilet she entered the site again. Responses! She settled herself back down and began to read.
MrsDrac
Hi SofaBound and welcome to the forum! No advice, actually I was the opposite; had low BP and my head swam every time I stood up from the chair! But I’m sure some of the others will be along in a moment with advice. Good to meet you anyway! The ladies on here are wonderful.
Momof2
Hello there and welcome. Ye I had high BP, was on Trandate for the second half of both pregnancies. Induced on the first, ended up with an ECS. But had a VBAC on my second. So I’ve seen it from both sides. Any questions just ask!
Claire frowned. The message might as well have been written in Ancient Greek.
SofaBound
Hello. Sorry I don’t have a clue what you are talking about. What is ECS? VBAC?
Momof2
*laughs* Sorry, you’re new aren’t you! ECS = emergency section. Vbac something you hopefully won’t have to worry about! Honestly the main thing to do is relax. If they’ve signed you off work then that’s the main thing. Just watch some daytime TV and take it easy. You’ll be busy long enough.
LondonMum
+1 to Momof2. I had high BP too, was induced too and narrowly avoided the dreaded ECS! I agree you should take it easy. I didn’t take my own advice – we moved from London to Dublin in the middle of the pregnancy and I was up to my eyes getting the house ready etc with DH working 24/7. So it wasn’t surprising I ended up sick. So if I was you I’d take it as a warning, sit back and relax! Honestly, it’s a cliché but the last few weeks fly. It’ll be over before you know it. And then you’ll be longing for that sofa!
SofaBound
Thank you. Wish it were last few weeks. Am only 26 weeks gone. Not sure I can take 3 months of daytime tv. But will try! Thanks again
LondonMum
Well we’re always here if you need a natter! Are you stuck to the bed or just taking it easy?
SofaBound
Not on total bed rest no. Have been told if things stabilise I can do a small bit, meet people for coffee maybe. But absolutely no work
Jeepers. Typing the sad face icon actually worked. Sitting at the end of her message was a cute, weeping smiley. Claire tried again. Now the smiley had a big grin on his face. She deleted her draft message and checked the thread again.
LondonMum
Work schmurk . Take care of yourself for a few weeks and hopefully things will work out. Looking forward to chatting to you
‘Me too,’ Claire typed and then looked at the screen in disbelief. Good God, she almost meant it. Turning off her browser, she opened her contacts book. She would ring Flynn and have a chat about something real.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
ANYONE HEARD FROM MAMMYNO1?
RedWineMine
She’s been on my mind constantly since that last thread. Anyone heard from her?
MeredithGrey
Yeah, me too. I was hoping she’d be back on.
MyBabba
Actually girls, I’ve been PMing her. She’s okay. She has taken the kids to stay with a relative for a while. Don’t want to say too much as she was afraid her DH, sorry H was reading her posts here.
MrsDrac
Jesus sounds terrible. I hope she’s okay.
LondonMum
+1 tell her we are thinking of her please MyBabba
MyBabba
Will do. She really appreciates the support from you girls x
PLAY DATE NEXT SUNDAY?
Lollipop
Yipee, first week in work done and dusted!
Can’t wait for the weekend now to spend some time with DD I heard something on the radio the other day about a big day out in Stephens Green for parents and babies – anyone else hear about it?
IrishMammyinTraining
Yeah, I go every year, brilliant now the girls are older. I’d highly recommend it!
Cerys
Yeah, I was thinking of bringing DS as well. Maybe I’ll see you there!
LimerickLass
Oh, I’d love to go but it’s too far for me to travel *pouts*. We should organise some sort of meet up though ladies, give those of us down in the sticks some time to prepare?
CaraMia
I’m down the country too but willing to travel … DH is working all weekend so I’m looking for something to do with the munchkins. I’d be on for a meet up if others are!!
Lollipop
Sounds cool! How will we know each other though?
TAKETHATFAN
I’D BE ON FOR IT
Lollipop
Well how about we meet near the entrance around 2pm? I’ve got a Red Bugaboo, DD is 8 months old.
TAKETHATFAN
I’LL HAVE 2 DS AND DD WITH ME. GREY MCLAREN BUGGY. SEE YOU THERE!
MyBabba
I can’t go girls … so sorry. Have a brill time and I’ll be dying to hear all about it!
MeredithGrey
Oh I’d love to!!! Does anyone else feel a little bit funny about it though *blushes*. I feel like I know you girls now and ye know far too much about me Would be kinda mad to see you all in person!!
RedWineMine
Sorry, no. I love chatting to you girls online but can’t imagine taking it to the next level. You’d probably hate me anyway. I’m a complete cow in Real Life *whistles*
MeredithGrey
Ah RWM don’t be like that *kisses*. I’d love to meet you hun! Maybe you’ll change your mind.
Cerys
Oh, I’m glad I logged in today now! I feel like I know you all already, it would be nice to put a few faces to the names J Will definitely be there. Fingers xd for good weather!!
CarrotCake
Sounds like we will have a good crowd too *jumps up and down with excitement* see you all there!
LondonMum
I’d love to.
Deleted
Please count me in
Deleted
Sounds like fun
Deleted
‘How are you feelin’ now, love?’
‘Good!’ Aware of how flat her voice sounded, Yvonne lifted her head and forced a smile. ‘Yeah, really good!’
‘I bet a night’s sleep helped.’
‘Yeah. Definitely.’
Yvonne busied herself strapping Róisín into the car seat so that Gerry wouldn’t see the expression on her face. She’d had eight hours uninterrupted slumber the night before. All Gerry’s idea. And Veronica’s. And Hannah’s. Everyone, in fact, had agreed that it was exactly what she needed. Except for Yvonne herself. But no one had been listening to her.
Veronica had called round at dinnertime the evening before, or teatime as she insisted on calling it. Sod’s law that Gerry had been there. The one bloody day of the week he had decided to take a few hours off and come home. Yvonne had been so pleased to see him. He could give her an hour, he told her, and only an hour. But oh, what she was going to do with that hour! A bath. With the door closed and locked on the rest of the world. Bubbles. And a new razor to shave her legs for the first time in weeks. She could almost feel the warmth of the water as she flopped down into it, almost smell the bubbles from the expensive foam Rebecca had sent her for Christmas which had been replaced on the shelf by baby shampoo. She would open her new body lotion too and take her time smoothing it over her freshly shaved and washed skin. Maybe she’d even paint her toenails … and then, just as she’d switched on the immersion and was giving Róisín a quick top-up feed, the doorbell had rung. And the navy silhouette on the other side of the glass had caused the longed-for scented bath bubbles to evaporate into the air.
‘You never told me things were that bad!’
‘They aren’t …’
But Gerry wouldn’t listen to her. The nurse was only doing her job. That’s what she told them, over and over again. With her head to one side and that bloody black bob falling just so over her left eye. It was her job to notice if Mum was having problems and she was fairly sure this was the case here.
‘There’s no shame in it, you know! You just need a little extra help, and isn’t that what I’m here for?’
She’d given a little titter then, and Yvonne had attempted a smile, but Gerry got there before her and beamed his agreement.
‘You do need a break, pet. Sure, it’s my fault, I’m working twenty-four-seven. I’ve neglected you. Veronica here’ – he’d smiled at the nurse then, who’d blushed scarlet and buried herself in her handbag until she regained her composure – ‘Veronica here has shown me the error of my ways.’
Yvonne hadn’t even realised he’d known the nurse’s name. But Gerry was a man on a mission now. His wife needed a break and he was going to give her one whether she liked it or not.
In a way, Yvonne agreed with both of them. She did need a break, a break from being nagged and questioned and told to go to classes she had no interest in. And a break from being a single mother. It would be nice to have a husband, not a shadowy figure who tiptoed up the stairs at 2 a.m. and was frequently gone before she was fully awake. It would be nice to have a shower without keeping one foot extended out of the shower tray, to rock the baby in the bouncer. And it would be nice to be brought breakfast in bed on a Saturday, and listen to the sound of her husband doing housework downstairs maybe, instead of hearing frantic calls from pissed-off press officers booming through the ceiling.
But Gerry didn’t see any of those things. Instead, he heard Veronica saying his wife needed sleep, and sleep he decided to give her. And since he didn’t have the ‘equipment’ – he accompanied the phrase with an eyebrow raise, and the nurse smiled approvingly – to take over the night feeds, well, then Róisín would have to get used to the next best option. After all, most babies were on bottles by six months, weren’t they? And sleeping through. And wasn’t there some study that said all the goodness of breastfeeding was done by then anyway?
Yvonne had sat and listened and tried to remember the facts and figures she had read on the internet. But her head was too fuzzy. Someone had stuffed cotton wool in there and the voices of Veronica and Gerry were coming from far away. They were talking to her and it was all she could do to nod and pretend she was listening to them. Arguing back was out of the question. Besides, they were probably right. She probably was spending too much time with the baby. Róisín had been fussing a lot at night anyway; sometimes she didn’t think she had enough milk for her anymore. Just another way in which she was failing. So she had nodded and smiled and made vaguely appreciative noises when Gerry went out that evening – that very evening! Turned out Teevan could spare him after all – and bought a new steriliser, a top-of-the-range machine and bottles, he said, had been designed in America by a paediatrician. And she had nodded and smiled when he had put her to bed, said that he was in charge now and that he’d see her in the morning.
And she had slept. Deeply, dreamlessly. And now it was fresh-air time. Gerry had gone into work on the previous Saturday but Not This Week, he’d told her in bright cheery capital letters, when Yvonne had finally woken and found her small family downstairs making pancakes in a cloud of flour and smoke. Today they would all get some Fresh Air. Once again she found it easier not to argue. Besides, she was still tired. It seemed churlish to admit it. After all, she’d had eight hours straight. The Holy Grail. The ‘stretch’ of sleep most of the Netmammies would have traded a Lotto win for. But she still felt woozy, and worn out. Maybe it was a cumulative thing. Maybe her body had got used to no rest, and was in shock now. So she nodded yes to the park, yes to everything. And when he stared at her too closely and said ‘you’re not jus
t going along with this to keep me happy, are you? You do have an opinion, don’t you?’ she had been so eager to keep the peace and not to have to think, that she searched her memory and gave him the name of a park, and a time, that would do just fine. St Stephen’s Green, in Dublin city centre. The Netmammies were meeting there at two, she realised when they were on their way. That was why it had come so quickly to mind. For a while, she had considered meeting up with them. Putting faces to names. Maybe making some real friends. But that was all too much to think about today.
In the beginning, it had all been quite pleasant. Gerry had insisted on wheeling the buggy and she had to admit he looked like an ad for one of the posh pram shops, striding along on his long, jean-clad legs, the baby gurgling up at him, entranced by the shards of light that were beaming through the hedges at the side of the path. It was a beautiful day for it. For them, and for the Netmammies, who she quickly spotted in a large group by the front gate.
They were sitting on an expanse of grass, far enough away from the duck pond for toddlers to be allowed a small amount of freedom. Picnic blankets and buggies marked their territory. As she walked around the park, trailing in Gerry’s wake, she considered joining them and introducing herself as LondonMum. But the closer she got to them, the more impossible that seemed. Just like the yoga women, they all seemed to know what they were doing.
The ones with young babies had them lying down on rugs, their feet kicking into the air, faces hidden by hats which were all perfectly tied in place and gave shelter from the unseasonably warm sun. The women with older children were more impressive still. All of them seemed to be able to do three things or more at once, peel a banana, wipe a nose, apply sun-cream, while chatting brightly to their neighbour. No, Yvonne didn’t belong there. But it was nice to watch them. Nice to figure out who Della might be, and if CaraMia was the one in the long trailing scarf and if the bleached-blonde woman in the corner, looking slightly ill at ease was TAKETHATFAN, perhaps regretting the outing but determined to brazen it out anyway.
Can Anybody Help Me? Page 19