by Adam Clark
They had waited until morning to strike the house where Herstaff lived. That gave some time for Napalm to sober up and for Grigor to teach Illana how guns work. Chainsaw-boy had spent the whole night in an epic training montage and now had mad kung-fu skills.
They had reached the small demi-detached house as the dawn light was breaking over the rooftops of the surrounding houses. The troupe were crouched down behind a hedge that bordered the front garden.
“Look” Napalm whispered, “There’s no vehicle on the driveway.” Pointing to the empty driveway and closed garage next to them.
“Maybe they don’t have a vehicle? Regardless, I’m sure he’s here, so we’re going in.” He looked down the four person line and nodded to all of them in turn. “Be careful, that house is most probably full of booby-traps” Napalm, Chainsaw-Boy and Grigor sniggered at this, Illana glared. “Ha, ok, seriously look out for traps and evil robots. Chainsaw-boy, you’re up, get rid of that door.”
Chainsaw-boy ran up the driveway to the house and started laying into the door with his chainsaw arms. He was throwing uppercuts, jabs, left hooks and even spin kicks. He was throwing everything he had at this door and was nearly disappearing under the cloud of sawdust. But within seconds there was only an empty archway left. Grigor stepped in first, flaming battleaxe at the ready.
“Herstaff! Come out and fight me like a man” he roared. There was no answer. Napalm and Chainsaw-boy stepped into the living room behind him cautiously while Illana watched from the front doorway. “Where are you?!” He shouted while smashing through the coffee table, which exploded.
“Hey, I don't think anyone's here, look, there are three empty jet-pack spaces here in this cabinet. Looks like they left in a hurry” Chainsaw-boy pointed out. “Three blaster rifles are gone as well, do you reckon they knew we were coming?”
“They can’t have.” Napalm answered, “it might be a bluff, let’s search the rest of the house.” They did this, concocting a room by room search of the whole building but finding nothing, no traps, no evil robots and no people
“Maybe they'll come back. We wait here for them.” Grigor said. Sitting down on the sofa he pulled out a flask and began to drink. Napalm sat down on the chair next to the sofa and began to play his guitar leg, while Illana went to help make Chainsaw-boy a cup of tea.
“What'll we do if those landlubbers don't come back? Maybe they did find out we were coming,” Napalm asked Grigor.
“Then we're going hunting.” He said, holding the handle of his battle-ax tightly, while the other hand instinctively touched the scar on his face. A shout from the kitchen area made both of them jump anxiously, weapons at the ready.
“Guys, come look at this” Illana shouted. They both entered the room cautiously to see Illana looking intently at the post-tube. “Check it out, the last place they sent anything to was the Vorgon 5 system, yesterday morning! Do you reckon that’s where they’ve gone?”
“Yes, this is a complete hunch and there could be a million other explanations but right now it’s our best lead. To the Vorgon 5 system!” Grigor stormed out of the house and onto the garden before Napalm caught him.
“We can’t go yet! The ship is still in port for re-fuelling and minor repairs, we’ve got a few hours yet before we can go anywhere.” Napalm told him.
“Ok then” Grigor checked his watch, it was 8.30 in the morning. “To the pub for several hours! We’ll celebrate this lead you found Illana.”
“It’s not really a lead at all, and seriously? The pub, at this time?” Illana questioned, standing in the doorway. He looked back at her sternly.
“I’m in charge, we’re going to the pub, and everyone will have a good time.”