Forgiving You: A Bluebell Valley Novel

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  The last thing Sam wanted was to cry in front of him, but she could feel tears burning her eyes. What had happened to the man she had fun with an hour ago?

  “We’ll get through that, Austin. It’s going to be okay,” she said, trying to approach him.

  “No, it’s not Sam. I can’t do this. It was a mistake,” Austin replied as he started walking away. It was too much for her, seeing him push her away like that. If Austin didn’t want her in his life anymore, she didn’t want him in his.

  “Go, then!” she yelled at him. “Go be miserable.”

  “What I do is important,” he hissed. “I help people. What do you do?”

  She took the blow, wishing she was in her car, driving far away from this house.

  “You think I don’t care about people? I care about those around me. I care about the people that are in my life already. Why do you think I’ve never left Bluebell? Because. I. Cared.”

  “And I don’t? I cared about me. I wanted to be the best person I could be, because that wasn’t something that was going to be handed to me. I had to do it.”

  “Look where that got you,” Sam said in a low voice as she started walking toward her car. She’d had enough of this. She just wanted to go home.

  “I have to do this. I don’t have any other choice,” Austin said as she left.

  “It’s not about choosing to go back to New York or stay with me, Austin. It’s about not even given us a chance when things get tough,” Sam added as she turned around for good.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Austin

  Austin looked outside his airplane window, but all he could see was the darkness. He was already hours away from Bluebell Valley and Oregon, but he couldn’t forget his conversation with Sam.

  When he’d received the phone call, he felt like his life was crumbling. Everything that he’d built during the last decade was slowly dying because he wasn’t there to take care of it.

  There wasn’t much he could do, and he knew it, but his brain had a tendency to put the blame on him.

  After the accident in India, he’d made sure a special team would investigate the products and find the cause of the first explosions. But now that it had happened again, he felt like it was his fault. He should have been in his office. He should have supervised the team. Hell, he should even have inspected the products himself! But he hadn’t been there…

  He’d been having fun with Sam. How could he ever enjoy his life again when he knew that his products, which were supposed to help people, actually killed and injured them?

  Austin sighed and leaned back in his seat. He felt guilty for not being in his office, but he didn’t have any right to take it out on Sam. Why had he done that? Thinking back on their conversation, he regretted everything he’d said. There was nothing that he meant, really. He was upset and she happened to be there. It wasn’t her fault he hadn’t been in New York. It was his decision…

  “I’m going to have to ask you to put your seat up, sir. We’re landing in New York soon.”

  He looked at the flight attendant’s face, recognizing her blonde hair, small nose, and green eyes. It took him a few seconds to realize that the woman wasn’t actually Sam, which made his heart sink.

  He wanted to apologize to Sam, but didn’t know how to do it. This was probably a mistake that was going to cost him his chance with Sam. He wouldn’t get another one. He’d screw up, doing exactly what he hadn’t wanted to do.

  Austin put his seat back up and watched the flight attendant leave, wondering when he’d become such a jerk. Sam mattered to him. She mattered more than most things in his life. So then why had he acted that way?

  Was he scared of being in a relationship? He couldn’t understand his behavior. All he knew was that he wanted to go back to this afternoon, when everything felt right between him and Sam. He wanted to forget that phone call he’d received and the way he’d acted after.

  He had been happy for a while, and now he was miserable again. Sam had been right: he was going back to his miserable life.

  “How’s the press release going?” said one man.

  “I’m almost done,” a second one replied.

  “What about the conference room?”

  “It’s been taken care of,” a third one answered.

  Austin sat back in his chair at the end of the table, watching everybody run in circles, trying to contain what had happened. There were four people on their cellphones, contacting the media and attempting to keep the story from getting blown out of proportion.

  This was the urgent meeting he had to attend right after he landed in New York, but he felt like he didn’t have a place in it. People knew how to handle such a crisis, they’d done it already. They wanted him to read the press release and answer questions at the conference, but he didn’t feel like it.

  Austin was blaming himself for what had happened, and he just felt like meeting the families of the people who’d died and doing whatever they wanted him to do.

  He didn’t want to deal with the media. That wasn’t something he’d signed up for, and he knew he’d only get his words twisted.

  Since he’d arrived in the room, his employees had barely noticed him. They were already so busy. Austin hadn’t even had the chance to help anyone. But this was his job, wasn’t it? Delegating work to people and overlooking how things were going? But he had a guy for that, too.

  When he’d built his company, he wanted to work on prototypes and be the engineer he’d studied to be. But as it got bigger and bigger, he kept getting pulled farther away from the labs.

  This wasn’t what he wanted, he realized. He wanted to be in Bluebell Valley, close to Sam. He didn’t want to be in this glass tower with all these other men dressed up in uncomfortable suits. This wasn’t the life he was meant to live. Not anymore.

  He didn’t want to stay here. He had to find a way out. Looking around, nobody was paying attention to him. He snuck out of the meeting room before anyone even noticed.

  Stepping out of the building, Austin started walking down the street, needing some fresh air. It was already late, but he couldn’t stay inside any longer. As he took a breath in, he was deceived by the quality of it. Yes, he was close to Central Park, but he wanted fresher air. He wanted the air he’d been breathing in Bluebell Valley.

  Everything he did, everywhere he went, all he could think about was his hometown and Sam. Without him even realizing it, they’d changed his life. He wasn’t the same man anymore. He’d changed back to the man that he was before.

  He didn’t want this: the wealthy life and the office in a glass tower. He wanted to help people in a way that mattered. He didn’t have to help the whole world either, he realized.

  As he kept walking, he stumbled upon a grocery store that was still open. He stepped inside, hearing his stomach grumble. He hadn’t eaten in a while, and if he wanted to clear his mind, he needed to fill his belly.

  He walked down the aisle, his mind still focused on Sam and how he’d broken her heart again, when he knocked his knee into a low table he hadn’t noticed.

  He let out a quick growl as he looked at what was on the table. Peaches. They’d stacked a mountain of peaches. Grabbing the top one, Austin knew what he had to do.

  It was his life, and he was going to make the right choice this time. He’d had enough of having his life dictated by others and what he thought he should do. From now on, he was only going to do what he wanted to do, and what his heart told him to do.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sam

  Her alarm started ringing and Sam opened one eye painfully. She didn’t want to get out of bed. She didn’t want to leave the only place where she could stay without crying constantly. Under her blankets, life didn’t seem so bad. It was only her and her bed, and nobody else. Especially not Austin.

  But Sam had to go to work. She had tomorrow off, so today was her last day. It had already been a week since Austin had left, but the scar was still there. Sam couldn’t believe s
he’d been stupid enough to believe him again. She should have known. She hated herself for making the same mistake twice.

  As she sat up, she put her head in her hands, not knowing how she was going to get over Austin again. It had been so hard the first time, but it was even harder this time around. He’d made her so happy, even if it was only for an instant. He’d put a kind of light in her heart she didn’t think she could find again. He’d made her feel loved and desired.

  But all of that had been fake. She didn’t matter to him. She wasn’t important enough.

  Dragging herself out of bed and into the shower, Sam made the decision that today was the last day she would think about him. She just had to forget everything that happened and go back to her old self. Wasn’t that the solution?

  It worked for a moment, enough to get her dressed and out of her apartment.

  As soon as she stepped out the door and into the street, all her memories came crashing back, like a big wave swallowing her into the deepest parts of the ocean. In front of her, she could see where Austin had parked his car, waiting to pick her up. He’d looked at her with so much love in his eyes. How could that have been fake?

  But he was gone, so Sam kept walking. Keeping her head up was hard. The streets were still dark and she was alone, as everybody else was still sound asleep. For the next hour, she wouldn’t have to talk or see anybody. As soon as she made it to the bakery, it would be her and her ovens.

  As she turned the corner that led to the main street, she found herself right in front of the liquor store where they’d met for the first time. She stopped walking, taking a moment to look through the window at the wine section, wondering if she should have stuck with her first thought of never seeing Austin again. She wouldn’t have gotten her heart broken again, but then she would never have felt so alive, even if it was just for a week.

  But why did such a thing needed to come at such a high cost?

  Sam decided to keep walking as she felt the tears coming back in her eyes. No, she had to forget about Austin. She was a strong woman and would figure out how to be happy by herself, since men couldn’t be trusted. Whatever she needed to do, she would do it. And she would start right after her first cup of coffee, because nothing good ever happened before that.

  As she finally arrived in front of the bakery, her best friend was waiting for her.

  “April? What are you doing here?”

  “I thought you’d like some company this morning,” she said as she gave Sam a hug.

  “It’s very sweet of you, but I’m good,” Sam lied. “And don’t you usually get one more hour of sleep than me? You should go back to bed.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Come on, let’s go in and talk. You owe me breakfast, by the way.”

  It put a smile on Sam’s face as she pushed the door, letting April go in first. She didn’t know how she would survive without her best friend. She owed her more than just breakfast.

  As Sam was working, April was sitting on a chair by the wall, sipping on a cup of coffee. For the next hour, the two women talked mostly of things that had happened recently in Bluebell Valley, taking Sam’s mind off of Austin. It worked better than she expected, and she found herself in a good mood by the time April had to leave.

  “There you go, I’ve done my job,” April said as she stood up.

  “Your job?”

  “To make you smile,” April said, making the smile on Sam’s lips even wider.

  “Thank you so much. You’re the best.”

  They hugged again, Sam not wanting to let go. By now, April was like family to her. She was the sister she never had.

  “You’re not going to leave me, are you?”

  “Never.”

  “Good!” Sam said as she hugged her friend more tightly for a second. “I’ll see you later for lunch?”

  “I’ll bring the wine bottle this time. A glass or two shouldn’t hurt, even if it’s in the afternoon.”

  They both laughed before April started walking toward the door. As she pulled it opened, she turned back to look at Sam, who was leaning against the counter.

  “You have the power to decide if you’re going to be happy, Sam. Don’t waste it on being miserable, okay?”

  Sam nodded, her friend’s words echoing in her brain as she watched her leave. April was right. Even if Sam saw Austin everywhere she looked, she was the one deciding how that was going to affect her mood. Of course, being happy wasn’t easy at the moment—the natural thing for her was to crawl back in bed and watch Notting Hill on repeat. But she had to do it. She had to get herself back on track.

  After unlocking the front door, Sam retreated to her office. Her mother was going to be here soon and she didn’t want to face her. Not yet. Not this early. Besides, there was a ton of paperwork on her desk.

  As she closed the door behind her and sat down, Sam felt the confidence leave her body. How was she going to do this? She wanted to forget about Austin so badly, but everything around her reminded her of him. Now it was her office, where they’d spent some time together earlier last week. She could still feel Austin’s kisses on her face, how soft his hair was between her fingers. Looking down at her hands, Sam realized she couldn’t stay in the office any longer. She needed air.

  She decided to sit in the oven room, where nobody would find her. As she looked up, wondering what she was going to do with her life, she noticed her jar. Actually, she noticed what was in her jar. All of her money was gone, replaced by what looked like a note. She stood up and grabbed the jar, wondering who’d left with her money. Even before she opened it, she knew who it was.

  Dear Sam,

  I assumed you wouldn’t mind me taking your $83.47 and put it toward a plane ticket. You now have a $3,000 credit with Delta Airlines that you can use whenever you feel like it. Just call them and they’ll book the flight for you.

  Love,

  Austin

  When had he left that note? Reading it again, she was so confused. She didn’t want his money. She wanted her $83.47 back. Going to Italy on Austin’s dime didn’t seem fair to her, especially since they’d broken up. She didn’t want anything of his. She just wanted to go back to her normal life.

  Deciding she wouldn’t be able to do any office work today, she grabbed her jar, put it in her purse with the note, and scribbled something quickly for her mother when she would come in. Sam couldn’t stay in this place for a second longer.

  As she opened the front door to leave, she ran into her mother, who was coming into the store. Sam didn’t bother saying anything—her mother could read the note she’d left for her.

  Sam started running toward her apartment, feeling the tears coming again. There was nothing she wanted less than to start crying, but it happened anyway. She had to slow her pace, feeling her throat get smaller and smaller with each breath she took. Finally walking again, she tried to relax, breathing in and out. By the time she reached her street, the tears were gone, but she was still very fragile. She dried the tears on her cheeks and she was about to take her keys out of her purse when she noticed a car parked in front of her building.

  “No way,” she whispered as she recognized the blue truck. She wanted to turn around and go hide somewhere, as she couldn’t go in her apartment anymore. Maybe April would let her sit at the back of her shop? But as she turned around, she heard a door open and close.

  “Sam! Sam, wait.”

  “Please go away, please go away,” she whispered to herself as she heard Austin’s footsteps getting closer and closer.

  She didn’t want him to see her like that, but it was too late already. He’d already grabbed her arm, stopping her.

  Sam kept looking at the ground, not wanting to make eye contact with him. She’d been hurt too much already.

  “Austin, what are you doing here?”

  “You haven’t heard the news?”

  “Excuse me if I haven’t been watching much TV lately,” she snapped.

  “Sam, it’s done. I sold it. My c
ompany, I sold it.”

  The words hit Sam like a blow to the face.

  “What? Why? Why did you do that?” The words started to sink and she realized he was now a free man.

  “I did it for you. You were right all along, and if that’s what it takes for us to be together, then I’m ready to do it.”

  “No, but you can’t… I mean, it’s too…” Sam was more confused than ever. Could a person really do that to prove their love? What did it mean, anyway? Austin was miserable at his company. Saying that he’d sold it just for her was a bit of a lie, as he’d done it for himself. But still, it wasn’t something he had to do. And when he’d done it, it was to be with her.

  Nobody had ever done anything this big for Sam. Nobody had ever taken a leap of faith to be with her. Nobody had ever left their old, boring life to live a new, boring one with her. Who was ready to make that kind of commitment?

  Austin put a finger under her chin, lifting her face slowly until she was looking into his eyes.

  He was ready to do it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Austin

  “Look at me, Sam.” He knew he didn’t have any right to push her, but he wanted her to understand what he’d done. “I love you. I’ve never loved anyone but you, and I would be the most stupid man in the world to give that up. I’m so sorry I hurt you again.”

  “Austin, stop. We’re not from the same world any―”

  “Now we are.” He smiled, hoping to cheer Sam up a bit. He could see in her eyes that she’d been crying and it was breaking his heart. “I’m never taking a plane again if you’re not sitting next to me.”

  “But you left already.”

  “I don’t have any reason to, anymore. I’ll stay for as long as you want me to.”

 

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