I remained close enough to observe where she was going to go and what she was going to do. She had a decision to make. Would she go on land? Or would she attempt to outrun the sharks who are coming? The scent of blood in the water, and her heart racing, would be enough to attract them. It was the reason the Mer had scattered so quickly. She darted toward the south, and I followed her.
Electric currents in the water tell me sharks are approaching. I grip my spear tightly and follow after Verona. I keep my eyes open for the possibility of a prey that would entice the sharks more than she would. Sharks do not like to eat Mer. They prefer fish, or even seals, to the taste of meat of Mer or humans. So, if I could just find a prey worthy of their attention, they would let her go. A little east of the direction she is heading, I feel the presence of something with great potential. Marlin. It is prey the sharks would definitely prefer. I take note of the direction Verona is heading, then I rush in the direction I felt the marlin.
Not far away, I hear a long squeal following a chirp. It is the distress call of a dolphin. The dolphin didn't make the sound; it’s Verona. My heart races and beats harder against my chest. Was the danger closer to her than I thought? She hasn't had enough time yet to make it to the deeper waters. If she stays closer to the bottom floor of the sea in the deep water, she can avoid the great white sharks and other, bigger predators, because they prefer staying close to the surface. I'm torn. Do I rush to her defense? Or do I go after the marlin that can save both her and me? Work smarter, not harder, I had once heard someone say. If I am to try to defend her against the sharks and fight them with my claws and my spear, it is possible that I would not be able to avoid injury.
I am much better off going after the marlin. Reason wins over my emotions this time. I discover the marlin is small when I reach it. Smaller than I'd expected, but I believe it’s big enough. I rush toward it like an arrow, stabbing it a hand’s breadth below the gills. I need it to struggle, so it will entice the sharks even more. The last thing I need is to bring them dead meat, because they would reject it unless I rip it to shreds. I cannot do in the amount of time I have to get this done.
At the end of the spear, the marlin puts up a good fight for his size. I struggle with it, dragging it with me in the direction I'd heard the chirp and squeal. Then I find the sharks which had left the electromagnetic pulses on the current. They have begun to circle Verona, who remains perfectly still in the water close to the bottom floor. Smart. Then the sharks break from the circle and head my direction. The marlin is working. Slapping it with my tail, I launch it off of my spear. It is injured enough to struggle but not be able to run very far. I dive as soon as the sharks reached me. I grip my spear and head toward Verona, who still remains unmoved. Her features are a mixture of fear and acceptance. She has accepted her fate as death. But she is still scared, and her emotions are easily read in her expression. I draw closer to her, my face just behind her as she opens her eyes and stares up at the sharks above her. Then she turns toward me. Her eyes widen in surprise, and she recoils a bit in shock. I frown.
"Hurry—before they finish." I back away from her, but she continues to remain unmoved. I cluck my tongue and dart forward, grabbing her by the arm. I yank her away with me.
Suddenly, she jerks her arm from my grasp. "You can't do this. You can’t help me."
I sneer at her. “A mermaid with half a brain would say thank you.”
I snatch her wrist again and drag her along with me. For a while, she follows along reluctantly. A small voice comes up behind me as we swim along. "Where are we going?"
Frustrated with all her questions, I answer, "Shut up and swim faster. We need to get salve on your wounds so they will clot. I’ve got some hidden this way."
We swim in silence toward the shallows until we find another reef. It's round and in hues of purple and orange in the bright sunlight. I remembered the colors from this morning. There is a buzz in the current again. This time, there are only two sharks, it seems. When we get to the reef, I release her arm and duck under to retrieve the hidden salve. I press my cheek against the reef and dig in the sand below because, for a moment, I can't find it. After a short bit of searching, I pull the clamshell out and bring it over.
Verona is frowning and rubbing her arms as though she is cold. The warm waters around us could not possibly be causing her issue. Has she lost too much blood? Her eyes train upward and meet mine, and I show her the shell. But she doesn't move; she just continues to stare at me as though she doesn't know what to do. I scowl at her. "Turn around."
Obediently, she turns about and exposes her back to me. The wounds are deeper than I imagined. Each cut in her back seems as though it was made by Mer claws an inch longer than my own. I hesitate, because even though I've been holding her wrist, the thought of touching her this intimately makes my blood race through my veins even faster. I bite my bottom lip, scoop some salve with my fingers, and then rub it in as roughly as I can, to get over myself. I need to get the salve into each of these wounds as deeply as I possibly can. Doing it in a halfhearted manner would never work. Rubbing it in roughly is best not only for her but also for me. Finally, I get the last of the wounds covered in ointment and pull away my hand which is tingling from the jellyfish innards. Her tense shoulders relax.
"Thank you," she whispers with a sigh. I've only used a small portion of the salve, which is good because I need it for at least three or four days. I close the clamshell and place it under the reef. This is good enough. I've done my duty, but she's not going to be able to put this medicine on her back alone. Her eyes meet mine, but they are half-lidded. There's something about the way she's looking at me now that stirs my heart within my chest. I clench my fists so that my claws dig into my palm and I cause pain to get control over my emotions. I shake my head. "I will come back and apply the salve again tomorrow. Meet me here when the sun reaches its zenith." Then I shove my spear into her hands, and point to the west. "If you go that way a bit, you'll find an island only inhabited by wildlife—there are horses there, which will give you a warning of wolves. If you decide to go ashore, you'll have to swim farther to the next island where the Landwalker's are."
She shakes her head, her eyes still filled with fear. "I… I won't."
I don't know why, but her fear makes me angry. I lift my chin. "I didn't expect you to. Cowardice is another symptom of a simple mind."
Why did I say that? My chest burns and my face reddens. I can't stand the fact I said that. It almost felt as if Stacia had possessed my body as a ghost and said those words for me. But no, I can’t blame anyone else. Instead, I did what all Mer are programmed to do when they speak to the bottom feeder. And I'm ashamed of myself, because I thought I was better than that.
Her voice brings me back to the present. "Why are you helping me?"
I sneer in frustration, not wanting to give a good answer. I refuse to acknowledge my overwhelming emotions, and I narrow my gaze at her. "Pity."
Stupid. That wasn't the answer I should've given. But somehow it had just come out of my mouth. I shake my head and turn to the east without another word. She calls after me, "You'll be back?"
"Thickheaded. I already said that I would." I yell it over my shoulder, as I continue away undeterred, refusing to look back. The waters in this area of the Atlantic are cooler than the ones closer to the community. I swim through them feeling a little bit lonely, feeling a little bit accomplished. Because I know that I've done what was right this time. But somehow I keep saying all the wrong things to her. It's like I don't even know how to be honest with her or even myself. I called her a coward? Never in my life have I seen anyone more brave. Pity? The last thing I feel for her is pity. Somehow, the words that come out of my mouth are the opposite of what I actually feel. Tomorrow, I would get another chance. And maybe somehow I will find a way to be honest with her.
8
“Where have you been?” my mother hisses through her teeth. Her glare shoots daggers into my eyes until I finally drop my gaze.
/> I frown at the seafloor. “I’m sorry.”
Whoever said it’s better to ask for forgiveness rather than permission must not have suffered from a stomach ailment, as I do. I burn and churn to my core.
Her hand slaps my face. I narrowly miss her claws against my cheek. Black spots crowd my vision, and I blink at my mother, whose expression remains unchanged. My heartbeat pulses in my cheek as it stings.
“Not good enough. Nothing you’ve ever done has been good enough. Why did I ever decide to have a second youngling?”
She grips the air in front of her, and her gaze drops to her hands. Her voice has grown deeper, but each word stabs me in the heart like a knife.
My brother chuckles as he peers at me from behind my mother. His smile is mocking. “They always say that talent and intelligence are distributed among the offspring, and often not in equal measure.”
My mother shakes her head. “You still have not answered the question. Where have you been?”
“You were angry with me, so I stayed away. I remained at a distance, reminiscing about when I was a youngling and we visited the waters around the island of ponies.” I meet eyes with my brother, grasping for some way to get him to agree with me and dilute my mother’s fury. “You remember the cave we found that time? I found it again.”
My mother’s brow wrinkles, the fire in her eyes diminishing. “Reminiscing?”
I nod.
Brandeeb cocks his head to the side. “The cave, huh? I’ve been there a few times. Not the wisest choice of place to lay your head, but safe enough for a Mer, alone in the deep.”
My face flushes. Amazingly, he backed me up. My mother blinks at my brother and then returns her gaze to me, her shoulders relax, and her public mask is back in place.
“Don’t do it again, understood? You need to be home before sunset so I don’t stay up all night with worry.” She points to her face. “These bags under my eyes and wrinkles were put there by your impertinence.”
With a sigh, she swims away. My brother draws himself up and raises his chest, swimming just over me enough to have to look down at me. I raise my gaze momentarily before returning it again to my mother as she swims away.
“Were you really at the cave?”
I frown at him. “Where else would I be?”
He shrugs, his gaze flitting about before he leans in a bit. “You have another’s pheromones on your skin. I smell a female.”
I wince.
He laughs. “Thought so. Wonder if mother smelled it, too.”
My jaw tightens. I almost correct my brother before he assumes too much, but then what could I possibly say I was doing instead? I could never tell Brandeeb the truth. It’s better if I let whatever he’s imagining remain. If he knew the truth, he’d tell mother, possibly even the Elder. Brandeeb had always loved to point out my flaws and inadequacies. I wouldn’t give him another one on a silver platter.
He huffs when I refuse to say another word, much less look at him, and starts after our mother. I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding and start for the convalescing cove.
I frown when it occurs to me on my swim there that my mother hadn’t tried to keep me with her as though I were an obstinate youngling. She’d only told me to return by sunset. I shake my head. Had she forgotten, or had my taking off instead of sitting obediently by her side in the sand helped her realize she might be picking a battle she’ll never win?
The cove appears before me, the same as it was before. Gabriel’s and Verona’s father’s are the only two nestings which are occupied. The healer sat in the sand next to the nesting of Verona’s father. Gabriel lay in his nesting alone. Though I’d come to check on Verona’s father and to talk to the healer, I head over to Gabriel’s nesting instead. It just feels right, because his sister isn’t there to block me or ask me to do something I don’t want to do.
I settle in the sand beside Gabriel. His arm is draped over his eyes, and blond hairs peek out from behind his ear. In a steady rhythm, his chest rises and falls. Then he winces and pulls his arm from his eyes.
He blinks a few times before his gaze finally rests upon me. He quirks an eyebrow. “What are you doing here?”
I shrug.
He shakes his head. “My sister is especially angry with you.”
I shrug again. “She’s angry with anyone who disagrees with her.”
He barks out one laugh before he settles back into a frown. “But you… you never disagree with her. It was probably the thing she liked most about you.”
I shake my head. “Doesn’t matter.”
He laughs and shakes his head in return, his brown eyes sparking with snark, then the light fading a bit. “It’s been three days, and I still cannot feel my fin. Nothing from about the belly button down, at all.”
I blink and frown. “Nothing at all?”
He shakes his head again. “The doctor keeps poking my lower half with needles, but I’m numb. The anti-inflammatory herbs he’s giving me taste awful but don’t seem to be doing a thing. This tail of mine feels like a swollen, dead weight.”
I swallow. I don’t know how to respond to that, but I look at his tailfin in new light. If a part of the body becomes this useless, it will anchor him down more than it will do anything else. What would his family do with him? It wasn’t often a person stayed in the convalescing cove for long term. I chance a glance toward the healer who still sits with the father in Verona’s place. It seemed as though her father had been staying here long term. Perhaps the healer had allowed it. Would he allow the Elder’s son to stay as well?
“I see what you’re thinking, but I don’t want to be anything like that old bottom feeder across the way. I’m young, strong, and healthy in every way except this one. He picks up the end of his tail with his hands and then releases it. The tail drops unnaturally to the nesting floor.
My frown deepens, and guilt surfaces within me. They blame Verona for this, but it had been my idea from the start. If the Elder and his court knew it was me, would they have sent me instead? I shiver. Or would they send me in addition to Verona? I honestly don’t know. I’d never heard of two bottom feeders being sent out on a reckoning at the same time.
“Sitting here, in the prison of my own body, it’s given me a lot of time to think. I know I’m not going to be able to do the things I’ve always done in the past. But then, I think about what those things were, and I’m not very proud of myself. So, I’m not going to be able to pick on the bottom feeder anymore? I’m not going to be able to go on hunts.” His voice cracks, and he blinks a few times before continuing. “I can’t blame my sister. She went along with things because I suggested them, too. Or you. We fed off each other, like it was a contest to see which of us could be crueler… and often I won.”
I nod, speechless, my eyes meeting Gabriel’s brown ones. The two of us never really had a connection as friends. Mostly Stacia hung on to me, and I followed her. I never got the feeling that either of them led the other. They nearly have a hive mind, like some schools of fish do when they swarm. It seemed as though they both made decisions together without ever discussing it with one another. But since his injury, now that he lay in a nesting, Gabriel has changed. Even the way he’d approved of how I had disagreed with Stacia, seemed unlike him.
“It’s a shame she’s being blamed for this. She’s the bottom feeder anyway, so it was her fate to go on a reckoning, but this situation,” he says while gesturing toward his own tail, “isn’t her fault.”
“It’s mine,” I whisper, my gaze dropping toward the sand.
“Get over yourself!” Gabriel growls. “The world doesn’t rest on your shoulders. You’re always taking responsibility for things you shouldn’t, and the result is guilt. You run around guilty, and it makes your back hunch over while you rub your torso.”
I blink at him.
“You try to hide it, but I’ve seen it. Stacia has too. Probably most everyone around you for a while has noticed.”
My frown deep
ens, and I shake my head slowly.
“It makes no difference,” Gabriel continues. “There’s a point. And you need to get it through your head that you can’t be responsible for me and my decisions. Nor Stacia’s. Just take care of yourself. Life’s too short, and you never know when you’ll end up dead… or worse.”
“This is not—”
“Yes, it is. Sinking like an anchor to the seafloor and never being able to swim with the current again? It feels like a curse. I cannot imagine what is going to happen to me from here. I’ve never heard of another Mer in this position. Have you? Something must happen to them, right? Mer must get injured like this, where they have no healer to repair them.”
I nod my head. I’d thought the same thing. I’d never seen nor heard of what happens to Mer when they are in the same state as the one I see before me. The tide has dropped with the setting of the sun. Overhead, the surface is less than a meter away from where I sit. If I reached my hand upward, my fingertips might touch the air. Does Gabriel do that while lying here? Does he reach out his hand and attempt to feel a part of the world from his bed that he otherwise would miss if he were in deeper waters?
“There you are.” Stacia’s voice breaks our reverie.
I glance over at Gabriel whose eyes have already shut. Is he faking, or had he really fallen asleep while I was lost in my thoughts? I blink then turn my gaze upon Stacia, who enters the cove with a wide smile on her lips.
“Did you see? Were you at the clearing when the bottom feeder got the reckoning she deserved?” She chuckles and places a hand over her red lips demurely.
I shake my head and swim up from the surface of the sand, ducking to avoid the surface.
“Lower your voice,” I growl at her, my gaze darting toward the healer and the old man in the nesting. Neither look our direction. Still, I lean in toward her. “She did not deserve this treatment. She did no one any harm at all. You lied when you told the Elder it was her idea to hunt. It was mine.”
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