It must be some mistake. That’s an institution, not a home.
“Rowan Estate?” Ansel repeated. “I thought that was a museum or something. You live there?”
“Yes. My uncle owns it; he just doesn’t live there very often. His job takes him around the world. I pretty much have the run of the house,” he said. “I think he does have it open for historic tours when he’s not in residence. You’d be welcome to come visit, if you’d like to see it.” Shay flashed a bright smile at
Ansel, who paled.
“That’s very kind, Shay,” I said. “But I’m sure your uncle would prefer to keep a rowdy crowd like us away from all those priceless antiques.”
I would never let my brother pass through those doors. I didn’t wish that on anyone.
“Whatever suits you.” He turned his attention to his lunch, which as far as I could tell consisted of four granola bars and a Sprite.
“So what’s it like to live there?” Bryn settled her chin on Ansel’s shoulder. I smiled as my brother’s eyes began to glow from her closeness.
Shay popped open his Sprite. “I can’t complain about being cramped. It’s gigantic, opulent. But kind of creepy, to be honest. Bosque, that’s my uncle, is gone most of the time on business, so I’m there alone a lot. There’s staff that comes in to clean a couple times a week. There are hundreds of rooms.”
I shifted uneasily in Ren’s lap, hating the thought of Shay alone in the enormous manor.
Shay lowered his voice, as if he were telling a ghost story. “It’s the sort of place where the shadows seem to follow you around.”
“Shadows?” Ansel asked.
I shook my head at Ansel, but I knew his worry was the same as mine.
Wraiths. The dark thought sent a shiver through my limbs.
Ren turned his face toward me. “You okay?”
I looked at him and my breath caught in my throat. Our faces were only inches apart; I could see each tiny silver fleck in his eyes, a swirling galaxy set against black depths. I felt myself getting lost in the velvet darkness of his irises.
“Calla, you’re trembling. Are you all right?” His worried voice shook me out of the heady trance.
“I just remembered that I didn’t finish the reading for Big Ideas today.” I slid off his lap. “I’ve gotta run.”
Without looking back at my packmates, I hurried in the direction of my locker and dove into the nearest girls’ bathroom. I wasn’t sure why my heart raced, nor why I felt so short of breath. All I knew was that I couldn’t stand another moment balanced on the tightrope between Ren and Shay at that lunch table.
I checked the stalls to make sure I was alone. They were empty. I went back to one of the sinks, turned on the cold tap, and bent down to splash water on my face.
The bathroom door creaked open.
I guess two seconds of privacy was worth something.
“Calla.” A strong hand gripped my shoulder, turning me around.
“Get out of here!” I shoved Ren back. “This is the girls’ bathroom.”
He grinned. “If anyone comes in, we’ll tell them I got lost.”
I scowled, trying to wipe my face with the back of my hand.
“You’re really pale,” he said. “What’s going on?”
Water still dripped from my chin onto my neck. “Nothing. I just have work that didn’t get done last night. I said that.” I went to the paper towel dispenser.
A quiet growl stirred in his chest. “Nice try. You never forget homework.”
Busted.
“Why did you follow me?” I turned to face the mirror, making a show of straightening my blouse. “I said I was fine.”
An amused smile hovered on his lips. “You said you didn’t want me to leave you alone.”
I tossed the crumpled paper towel into the wastebasket. “Speaking of that, did you enjoy yourself today?”
His sharp laugh bounced off the bathroom walls. “Do you mean having you in my lap or the look on his face?”
“He knows about us, Ren.” I leaned against the basin. “You don’t need to be cruel.”
“I think I can judge his level of respect for our relationship on my own. Are you aware of the way he looks at you?”
“Don’t be silly,” I snapped, but my cheeks grew hot.
“I’m completely serious,” he said quietly. “He’s not afraid of us the way humans should be. I’ll tolerate him because of the Keepers’ orders, but he’s testing the limits of my patience when it comes to you.”
I poked him on the chest. “You’re jealous.”
He didn’t respond but instead covered my hands with his, welding them to the sink.
I bared my fangs at him. “When I said I didn’t want you to leave me alone, I didn’t mean at all times. And I’d like to be alone now. This isn’t my idea of a romantic setting.”
He shook his head. “Three things.”
“What?” I frowned.
“One: what’s really bothering you?” The worried lines around his eyes dissolved my anger.
“Wraiths. What Shay said about thinking shadows followed him around. I’m afraid they might be in that house, watching him when Bosque is away. He doesn’t know about them.” I shuddered. “It’s so dangerous.”
“You’re worried about him.” His eyes flickered with emotions too rapid for me to follow.
“We’re talking about wraiths,” I said. “Of course I’m worried. You know what they could do to him.”
There was no use lying to him about my instinct to protect Shay. I couldn’t hide it. Luckily, since it was also Logan’s order, I didn’t have to. At least not yet.
Ren’s jaw clenched and he was silent for a moment. But then he seemed to make a decision, his conflicted expression fading.
“It is dangerous, if that really is the case. But we don’t know. Plus the Keepers want Shay safe. It seems unlikely that they’d willingly endanger him. An untethered wraith would go after any human.”
His grip on my hands relaxed. “I wouldn’t worry. He’s a strange kid. Probably just imagined the shadows.”
“I hope so.” I glanced at the door, worrying that someone would walk in on us. “Three things?”
“Two: would you like to go hunting with me after school?” He leaned closer, one corner of his mouth curving up.
“Hunting?”
“There’s a deer herd that’s getting too large on our side of the mountain.”
My muscles twitched eagerly at the invitation, but I shook my head. “Thanks, that sounds great, but I can’t.”
“Why not?” Disappointment flickered across his face.
I bit my lip and decided to be honest. Sort of.
“So you know how Logan asked me to spend more time with Shay?”
He didn’t speak, but I heard the rumbling, deep and menacing, in his chest.
“I’m helping him with homework every afternoon.”
The growl erupted in sharp, biting words. “Every afternoon?”
“Orders are orders,” I offered lamely.
“Right.” The defeated note in his voice made me cringe.
“What’s three?” I asked, hoping to move away from this uncomfortable topic.
The smile pulled at his lips again.
“Three.” One of his hands cupped my face and the other slid around my back. He pulled my body against his and my heart began to pound. I took advantage of my free hand and pushed at his chest.
“I don’t think so, Lily,” he said. “If you want to get rid of me, you’ll need to do better than that.”
I drew a sharp breath and tried to wiggle away, but he held me firmly in place, watching me struggle. He grinned as he lifted me up onto the sink.
“What are you doing?” I started to panic. “Someone could come in!”
“If they see us, they’ll just turn around and get out of here,” he murmured, lips touching my ear. “No one crosses me.”
His hips pressed against my knees, opening them, pushing my skir
t up my legs. I gripped his shirt, clinging to him so I wouldn’t fall into the sink. His hand pushed into my lower back. I gasped as his body fitted against mine. Heat flooded my chest, my pelvis. I thought I would drown in it.
“We can’t—” His lips stopped my words. The kiss just made me dizzier. I dug my fingers into his shoulders.
“You said you didn’t want to be left alone.” His tongue flicked over my cheekbone. “This is me pestering you.”
“Aren’t you breaking the rules?” I could barely get the words out. “What about the union?”
“I’d rather have you on my own terms.” His hand slipped between my thighs.
All strength fled my limbs. “I can’t breathe.”
“That means you like it.” He kissed me again.
A passing shadow caught my eye. “Ren, wait,” I whispered against his lips. “I think—”
The bathroom door swung open.
“Oh my.” Nurse Flynn didn’t sound startled at all. “Am I interrupting?”
Ren swore under his breath. This was someone he couldn’t cross. “Sorry, Ms. Flynn. I was just leaving.”
I blushed when he rebuttoned my shirt. I hadn’t even realized the blouse was hanging open. “Thanks for the chat, Lily. I’ll see you in class.”
He leaned in, brushing his lips along my forehead, and then flashed a winning smile at Nurse Flynn as he left the bathroom.
I squeezed my eyelids shut and gingerly slid off the sink. Somehow I managed to support my own weight. I’d been certain I would just puddle on the floor. In the darkness of my mind’s eye I could still feel Ren’s embrace, but then the image blurred and instead of the alpha, Shay smiled back at me. I can’t live like this.
Rippling, musical laughter brought me back to the bathroom. Nurse Flynn walked toward me, letting the door swing shut behind her.
“Poor, poor dear. Waiting must be so hard for you. I’ve heard Renier is an exquisite lover. All the Keepers gossip about him—the young Guardian who haunts their dreams.”
The smile on her glossy red lips was teasing and cruel. “But rules are rules. He’s an alpha male, so his . . . eagerness can be excused. Yours, however, is a disappointment.”
I grabbed the sink when my stomach lurched.
“Careful now, little girl. Or I’ll tell Logan how your union is progressing a little too well. You’d be wise to keep him happy. Those lovely legs of yours should be closed until Samhain.” With slender, chalk white fingers she reached up and stroked my cheek. “I’ll excuse your behavior this time. Don’t stray from your path.”
Her nails dug into my face, forceful enough to make me draw a sharp breath but not enough to break my skin. In a mockery of Ren’s tenderness, she leaned in, pressing her lips against my forehead.
Lana Flynn’s laugh became more of a cackle as she walked back out the door. I stared after her. When she’d turned away from me, I thought I’d seen the hump on her back twitch.
EIGHTEEN
SHAY SLAMMED THE LIBRARY BOOK SHUT, giving it an abrupt shove. It sailed over the edge of the table, hitting the floor with a dull thud. It was the fifth time he’d done that since I’d taken a seat next to him at four o’clock.
“Do you want to have a fight now or are you just trying see how many book bindings you can break before we get kicked out of the library?”
His only response was a ferocious clicking on the keyboard of his laptop.
“Come on, Shay. Knock it off.”
He leaned back in his chair. “Are you honestly all right with being treated that way?”
“What way?” I asked.
“Like a piece of property.” The veins in his neck throbbed.
“That’s not how it is.” I got up and began restacking books on our table. “You just don’t understand the way we interact. We’re both alphas; we’re always challenging each other.”
“Of course,” he said. I put my hand on top of the book closest to him so he couldn’t throw it off the table too. “And how exactly do you challenge him?”
“That isn’t any of your business.” I pulled the book out of his reach. “Besides, none of that would have happened if you hadn’t provoked him by insisting on sitting with us today. Ren only responded to your encroachment on his territory. What were you thinking?”
“See, you admit it!” he said. “You just referred to yourself as his ‘territory.’”
“It’s an expression, Shay,” I countered. “And you have no business acting like the wronged party here. You’re not innocent; you were challenging Ren about me and you know it.”
He scowled, giving his full attention to his computer.
“Look.” I buried my hands in my hair. “I’ve explained to you how things are. You can’t change it.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” he snapped. “On two counts. First—I don’t know how things actually are—just how you say they have to be because of your
Keepers’ orders. I have no idea what you really feel about your little arranged marriage deal because you won’t tell me.”
I almost knocked the books back off the table.
“Second—I think it can change.” The determination in his eyes terrified me.
“You’re wrong and you need to stop pushing this issue. The kisses, then the lunch table. You don’t know how dangerous what you’re doing is. Ren is already jealous—”
“You asked for the first kiss and obviously wanted the second.” He rocked back in his seat. “If he’s jealous, that’s fantastic. He should be.”
I grabbed a book, retreating to my chair. “That is not a good thing. He’s an alpha. You’re acting like an interloper—a lone wolf. If he thinks you’re interfering with his pack, his instinct would be to kill you.”
A haughty smile slid across his mouth. “I’d like to see him try.”
I was instantly at his side, leaning over him, my fingers digging into his shoulders. “Have you completely lost your mind? Ren is a Guardian; you could never fight him.”
“Lost my mind?” he murmured. “Yes, sometimes I think so.”
He lifted his hand and touched my face tentatively. His fingers trailed along my cheekbone and then gently moved over my lips.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
I haven’t either. My lips parted under his touch. I didn’t know I could feel this way.
When Ren touched me, it was like being swept up in a tornado of sensations, tossing my body into a wild abandon with no sense of control. Shay’s gentle caress was different and somehow more addictive. The way his fingers lingered at my mouth seemed to ignite a flame that burned slowly, building heat, spreading through my cheeks, down my neck, finally consuming every inch of my skin with a fire so intense I didn’t think it could ever be quenched. I knew if I stayed a moment longer, I’d let him kiss me again. Or I’d kiss him. I darted back to my seat, drew my knees against my chest, and hoped he wouldn’t see that I was trembling.
“I’ve asked you not to do that,” I said. “I don’t want to be buried alive. And I don’t think a public flogging is what you’re after either.”
He opened his mouth as if to protest, but then he shrugged.
“Fine. But if you could at all tolerate my presence, then I’d like to keep sitting with you at lunch. I actually had a really good time after you and Ren took off. I like your friends—your pack—Ansel and Bryn are great. And Mason, well, I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s fantastic.”
I didn’t speak, but I nodded.
“Neville doesn’t say much, but whenever he does, it’s brilliant. The big guy, Dax, and the two mean girls, Sabine and Fey, they’re a little scary, but still interesting,” he mused.
“Dax is Ren’s beta, like Bryn is to me,” I said. “Dax, Sabine, and Fey are just reacting to you the same way Ren is. You aren’t afraid to challenge their alpha. It makes them instantly defensive. Not to mention that in a human, that kind of behavior is unheard of. The pack pretty much thinks you’re crazy.
>
Don’t be surprised if they’re making bets about how long it will be before Ren rips your throat out.”
“Well, I don’t exactly fit in with the other humans anymore,” he said. “Not that I ever did.”
He looked away. “That’s the real reason I asked to start having lunch with you.”
My chest contracted as I thought about how lonely Shay’s life must be, probably more so now than ever.
“You can still sit with us. The pack is supposed to watch out for you anyway. Just watch yourself. If you don’t provoke Ren, he won’t strike back at you, like he did today.”
“You know, you talk all the time about how strong you are—the Guardians, I mean,” Shay mused. “I don’t understand why you don’t just fight back.”
“Fight back?” I frowned at him. “Against who?”
“The Keepers. I don’t know what happened that made you want to read this book, but you said you got orders you don’t like. Why do you even follow orders in the first place?”
“It’s our duty. The work we do is sacred.” I tucked my legs beneath me. “And we’re rewarded. The Keepers provide for our every comfort. Houses, cars, money, education. Anything we ask for, we’re given.”
“Except your freedom,” Shay muttered, and I shot an angry glance at him. “So what would happen if you refused to follow an order?”
“That never happens,” I replied. “Like I said, our duty is sacred. Why would we refuse?”
“In theory?” He gazed at me steadily. “I mean, it sounds like you’re stronger than the Keepers.”
“Physically stronger, yes.” My voice trailed off as icy fingers crawled over my skin.
“Shay, when you said that you thought shadows followed you around at Rowan Estate,” I said. “Did you mean that literally?”
“How could a shadow follow me literally?” He pointed at a medieval history text and I slid it over to him. “I mean, other than my own.”
“Have you seen shadows, dark shapes that don’t seem to be attached to regular objects in the house, moving around—above you, alongside you?” I tried to keep my voice steady.
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