Unbreak My Heart_BWWM Romance

by Shanade White

  “Yes, I think he does, I think the worst of the crisis has passed. Good work, doctor,” Matt said, changing the fluid bag and beginning to pull up the next dose of medication.

  *****

  Brian could hear voices, a man’s and a woman’s but couldn’t really understand what they were saying. His head was filled with a buzzing sound that just wouldn’t go away, and he was hot and thirsty, his mouth so dry he could barely swallow. He cracked his eyes open just a bit, relieved when he discovered that the room was dark, then opened his mouth to ask for some water but nothing came out but a croak.

  To his immense relief a sliver of ice was placed on his lips, he sucked it into his mouth and let it melt on his tongue. It was such a relief that he heard himself groan, and he opened his mouth for another piece, pleased when one was placed on his tongue. It had grown silent in the room and he wondered who was still there with him, but was afraid to open his eyes, the headache that seemed to accompany the fever threatening to return.

  “Hope you’re feeling better Brian, my name’s Matt and I’ll be taking care of you for the rest of the night,” he heard a man say.

  Brian nodded his head, he wanted to ask if the woman was gone, but he couldn’t remember her name or why she’d been there to begin with, only that he felt better when she was around. Gathering his energy, he managed to ask, “Where?”

  “You’re in Homestead at the clinic,” he said.

  Brian tried to shake his head no but the small movement made pain shoot through his head, and he sucked in a deep breath wishing he hadn’t. Matt put his hand on Brian’s arm, “Let me give you something for that headache, your brothers are out in the waiting room, they want to see you.”

  It wasn’t long before the headache began to subside and he could open his eyes just a crack. “Is that better?” Matt asked, smiling at Brian.

  “Yes.” Brian managed to croak. “Can I have some more ice?”

  Matt put a couple more pieces in his mouth, then set down the cup. “I’m going to let your family in for a few minutes, but we’re going to keep this visit short. Doctor’s orders, I’m afraid.” It was good to see his brothers and their wives, but the short visit wore him out and almost as soon as they left he fell asleep.

  Chapter 3

  When Heather got to the clinic the next morning, she headed straight for Brian’s room even though where she really wanted to be was the lab. Matt was just coming out of his room and he looked exhausted. “Rough night?” she asked, handing him a steaming cup of coffee.

  “Not terrible, but his fever spiked in the night and he had some fever dreams, I had to immobilize his wrist to keep the catheter in and you know how much I hate doing that,” Matt said, taking the cup from her with a grateful smile.

  Heather nodded sympathetically. “How is he now?”

  “Fever's down and he’s resting comfortably, I just gave him his morning meds so you should be good for a few hours,” Matt said, leading her to the work station and handing her Brian’s file.

  Heather took a quick look at the file but really didn’t have to, Matt was the best P.A. she’d ever worked with, hiring him had been one of the smartest moves she’d ever made. “Just in case I don’t say it enough, I don’t know what I’d do without you here,” she said, handing the file back to him. “Now go home and get some sleep, I’ll take the night shift tonight.”

  “No way, I’ve got them,” Matt said, shaking his head. “It shouldn’t be for more than a week or so. I’ll take the nights and you take the days.”

  “Matt, I can’t let you do that,” Heather said, feeling guilty but liking the idea.

  “You can and you will, besides I hear that you’ve got some new samples in the lab,” Matt said with a big grin.

  Heather winced, she’d been feeling guilty for days that Brian still didn’t know that she was one of his satellite researchers, but there just hadn’t been an opportunity to tell him. “How did you hear about that?” she asked, then figured out where. “Josh told you, didn’t he?”

  “I don’t think he meant to, but he was here to visit Brian last night and asked to see your lab.” Then seeing the look on Heather’s face, he added, “I didn’t let him in, so get that look off your face.”

  “Sorry,” Heather said, with a shrug of her shoulders, she’d made it perfectly clear to everyone that no one was ever allowed in her lab if she wasn’t there.

  Matt waved off her apology, “Anyway, we got to talking and he told me about the samples. It’s really exciting.”

  “Yeah, and it’s supposed to be a secret, we’re not supposed to know that we’re looking for a cure for cancer,” Heather said. Then added, “I haven’t told Brian who I am yet.”

  “He doesn’t know?” Matt asked, shocked.

  “There hasn’t been time to tell him and I’m afraid he’ll pull me off the project when he finds out how much I know. Josh gave me a ten-minute lecture about secrecy and autonomy,” Heather said, wishing that Josh had kept his mouth shut.

  She’d told Theo and Daniel and they’d both agreed that she could wait to tell Brian but apparently now all of Homestead knew. Now more that ever she was sure that he’d pull her from the project unless she could come up with some results and quick, that meant some long hours over the next few days. But she’d dedicated the last two years of her life to this project, had invested too much to just back away now.

  “He’s not going to pull you off the project Heather, you’re too good a researcher for that,” Matt said, patting her on the back.

  “I hope you’re right,” she said, thinking of how much she had to lose if he pulled her from the project.

  *****

  When Brian awoke later that morning, he was completely disoriented and it took him several minutes to remember where he was. His whole body hurt as if he’d run a marathon and his head was pounding, but he forced his eyes to scan the room until it subsided enough that he could think. His last clear memory was of getting on the plane in Macapa, the rest was kind of a blur of images and voices. As he tried to piece them together, images floated into his mind of a beautiful woman, a woman who had comforted him with just her presence.

  But then other images popped into his mind, images of another woman who he’d found comfort with, a woman he’d trusted, a woman who had thrown that trust back in his face. Memories of that long-ago day flooded his mind and he was too exhausted to control them so he let them wash over him, hoping that this time he wouldn’t feel the pain. But the pain and humiliation were still there and as strong as ever. Using the last bit of his strength, he pushed them from his mind and thought about the research project and the implications of what he’d discovered. It helped some, but as he fell asleep that woman was still in his mind, breaking his heart all over again.

  *****

  Heather was sitting in the lab going over some paperwork she’d been putting off for much too long. It was always difficult to document the failures in a research lab, but it was a necessary part of the process, a way to keep other scientists from making the same mistakes, if nothing else. She’d decided to take on the task today since, as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t touch the new batch of samples until she knew that she wouldn’t be interrupted and with a patient like Brian in the clinic she knew that she would be.

  The last time she’d checked on him, his fever had begun to spike again, so it was just a matter of time before he had another crisis. She’d left orders for his temperature to be checked every fifteen minutes, then retreated to her lab where she took a few minutes to just sit quietly. There had been few times in the two years she’d been here that a patient had made her feel inadequate, and Brian was turning into one of those patients, and not for the first time she questioned bring him here.

  Reviewing his case in her mind made her feel better, she’d spent hours with Dr. Andrelly covering every possible outcome and knew that she was doing all that she could, but a small part of her wondered if he’d be better off in a bigger hospital somewhere. Bu
t she knew as well as his brothers did that once Brian was feeling better, he’d try to get back to the village where he was doing his research, he’d made that quite clear in the few minutes she’d spent with him on the plane.

  Pushing her doubts from her mind, she got up to go check on him anyway, knowing that if she didn’t she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else. When she got to his room, he was shifting restlessly in the bed, his fever clearly making him uncomfortable, but not high enough that she’d been called. Checking his chart, she saw that he was due for anther dose of the medication they were using to control the fever and decided to give it to him, hoping that it would help more than it had been.

  She was leaning over him, injecting the medication into his IV line, when he began to mumble and shift around. Looking down at him, she could see the sheen of sweat on his brow and knew that the fever was getting ready to spike. Brian began to move more restlessly and the mumbling became words but she couldn’t understand what he was saying, the only thing that was clear was the name Barbra, which made Brian wince every time he said it.

  Soon the shifting became thrashing and he began to repeat no over and over. Worried that he’d hurt himself she tired to hold him down. At nearly six feet with a full figure Heather could usually hold her own with patients like Brian, but he threw her off as if she weighted nothing . This time she approached the bed slowly, whispering his name over and over, hoping that she’d get through to him. He seemed to calm some and stopped thrashing so she stepped up to the bed and put her hand on his shoulder, hoping the touch would calm him further.

  But to her horror his eyes sprang open and he said, “Get your hands off of me. What are you doing here anyway, you evil bitch?”

  Heather knew that he wasn’t talking to her, but his voice held so much hate that she involuntarily stepped back, shocked. Then his eyes closed again and he was still in the bed as if he’d expended all his anger and was at peace again. She stood a few feet from the bed and watched him for a while, not daring to touch him. Whoever that woman was, she’d done something terrible to him. When it looked like he would continue to sleep peacefully, she crept out of the room and went back to the lab, still a bit shocked by the experience.

  *****

  Brian wasn’t sleeping peacefully. The same dream kept playing through his mind, a vision of the day he’d come home to find that Barbra had stolen all the research they’d been working on together, packed up her things and moved out. When he finally got her to answer her phone, she’d made fun of his naivety, and thrown his love back in face. Then she’d calmly explained that she’d only been using him and now that they’d had a major breakthrough, she no longer needed him.

  Over and over the events of that day played in his brain, followed by the horrible memory of her standing by his hospital bed, only in the dream she was holding a knife in her hand, ready to plunge it into his heart. The rational part of his brain kept telling him that it wasn’t Barbra he’d seen but the doctor, yet he just couldn’t escape the dream. Only when he heard Matt’s voice outside his door in the hallway was he finally able to relax, knowing that Matt would protect him from Barbra if she was here. He finally slipped out of the dream and into a sound sleep.

  *****

  It was days before Brian was able to sit up in bed for any length of time, the fever had held on, refusing to let go until Heather had added another antibiotic to his medications, then almost overnight it disappeared. She was relieved to have her patient on the mend, especially since she hadn’t been able to treat him herself, her presence in the room causing him to become agitated in his fevered state. Now that he was better she hoped that his mind would clear and he would realize that she didn’t mean him any harm, that she was there to take care of him.

  But when she pushed through the door and he spotted her, all that hope disappeared as a scowl appeared on his face. She plastered a smile on her face and said, “Well, it’s good to see you up and awake. How are you feeling this morning?”

  “How do you think I’m feeling? I can’t remember what day it is and there are huge gaps in my memory. How would you feel?”

  It took all of her patience not to just walk out of the room, but Matt needed a break, he’d been caring for Brian for days on end with little sleep so she smiled at him and said, “I would feel just like you do I suppose, but I think you’re finally on the mend, you’ll be up and about in no time at all.” She knew she was lying but didn’t care, she just wanted the scowl to leave his face.

  “Hmph, I’ve heard that before,” he said nastily, then asked, “Where’s Matt?”

  “Matt needed some sleep so I sent him home,” Heather said, wishing she hadn’t.

  “I think I’d be more comfortable if Matt was here,” Brian said, making it more of a demand than a statement.

  Heather took a deep breath. “I’m afraid that’s not possible right now, Matt needs some rest, he’s been here almost around the clock for the last four days. If he doesn’t get some sleep, he’s going to end up in here with you,” Heather said, trying to soften her words with some humor.

  “Then find someone else,” Brian said, irritation obvious in his voice

  Heather sucked in a breath at his rudeness but she’d dealt with other difficult patients, she could handle this one. She turned and walked over to the window and opened the curtain to let in some sunlight, hoping that it might improve Brian’s mood. He squinted at the bright light but didn’t tell her to close it, which she took as a sign that the headache that had been plaguing him was gone.

  She turned back to the bed, took a calming breath, then gently said, “Look, I’m not sure why you dislike me, but I’m here to take care of you. Your brothers asked me to see you back to health and I intend to do that. Matt will be back but for right now you’ll just have to deal with me.”

  There was a long silence as Brian absorbed her words, “I guess I don’t have much choice,” he finally said, then added. “I think I’ll take a nap now if that’s okay with you.”

  Heather wanted to scream at him, but instead she said, “I think that’s a good idea. I’ll send one of the nurses in to help you.” Then she turned and walked out of the room thinking that it was a shame that such a handsome man was such a jerk.

  *****

  Brian was sure that he was going to lose his mind, after being cooped up in his room for almost two weeks, he needed to get out. But it was four o’clock in the morning, not exactly the right time for a stroll around the clinic, never mind outside, which was where he really wanted to go. The first week hadn’t been so bad, he’d barely been able to stand let alone walk, but his strength had returned in the last few days, enough so that he could make it to the bathroom by himself, ending the need for someone to be there with him at night.

  He still wasn’t very strong, but he was getting stronger every day, making it more and more difficult to stay cooped up in his room. Mentally he’d been back to normal for more than a week, no longer so exhausted that his brain didn’t function well and that was contributing greatly to his boredom as well. He needed something to stimulate his brain, something to take him mind off what might be going on with the research project. Theo had brought him a stack of scientific magazines and some books, but he’d gone through those already and had nothing left to distract himself with.

  Then it occurred to him that there might be something to read in the clinic, at this point he’d even settle for the magazines in the waiting area. Sliding out of bed, he gave his legs a second to adjust to his weight and then took a few shaky steps to the bathroom and used it, pleased when he didn’t feel the exhaustion that usually came with that simple task. Deciding that if nothing else a walk around the clinic would tire him out, he slid his feet into the slippers by the bed and walked over to the door.

  When he opened it and stepped out, a sudden feeling of freedom came over him and he laughed out loud to think that simply leaving his room would be so exciting. He stopped and looked around him, there was a w
ork station directly in front of him, and a hallway that seemed to lead through the center of the building. There were closed doors in either direction giving him no indication which way he should go so he turned left and started down the hallway, which although not long began to seem longer the farther down he walked.

  When he came to the first door, he looked though the window, saw what must have been the staff kitchen and decided that he was hungry. Plus, his legs were a little shaky and a little rest might not hurt so he pushed open the door and went in. He found a box of cereal on the counter, some milk in the refrigerator, and poured himself a big bowl. It reminded him of being a kid and sneaking down in the middle of the night for a snack, the cook always left him something, although she never said a word to him, it was their little secret. It made him smile to think of that wonderful woman who had made his childhood so much easier to deal with.

  Feeling rejuvenated from the rest and a slight buzz from the sugar in the cereal, he got to his feet and headed back to the hallway where he decided to continue in the direction he’d been headed. When he came to a room that was more windows than walls, he stopped for a second to rest, peering through one of the windows which were covered by blinds but open enough that he could see through the cracks.

  From what he could see through the cracks it looked like the room was the in-house lab for the clinic, and he understood why it had so many windows. It seemed like a good place to find something to read, he could see shelves and shelves of books along one wall so he made his way to the door but discovered it was locked. Surprised, but undeterred, he jiggled the handle a few times then took a good look at the lock. It was a flimsy lock and he wondered why they even bothered, then slowly made his way back to the kitchen for a butter knife.

  He had to sit down and rest for a minute before heading back down the hallway, but he was determined to get into the room, if for no other reason that just to say that he had. When he got back to the door, he slid the knife into the space between the door and the frame, slid it across the lock and popped it open, a neat little trick he’d learned as a kid to get into his brother’s bedrooms when they weren’t home.