He’d never met a woman quite like her, had never felt the way he felt about her. Being an intelligent man he knew that what he was feeling might be a product of his recent illness and the fact that she’d been taking care of him, but he wasn’t prepared to dismiss it that quickly. Since he’d been so sick, he’d begun to look at life in a different way, to see that while his goals were important, he might be missing out on life.
Since he’d come to Homestead, he’d met so many people who had goals and dreams, but unlike him they’d found a way to balance those goal and dreams with a real life. Even Harry had a wife and kids, grandkids even, and still managed to do what he loved best. It wasn’t going to be easy to change the way he’d been living his life, but one thing was very clear, Heather might be the first step in making that change. She was a beautiful and intelligent woman, the kind of woman who might just be able to open doors for him that had previously been shut.
Chapter 6
Over the next few days Brian didn’t see much of Heather, she was busy with the microbe project and didn’t need him hanging around. It wasn’t hard to keep himself occupied, after all this was a thriving research project and he was a researcher, the other botanists were more than happy to take a few minutes out of their busy day to show them what they were doing. He even spent time with the graduate students who had their own project going on. They were a little nervous at first but when he told them to treat him like just another person they relaxed.
But as much as he enjoyed seeing what was happening at the site, he still enjoyed the time he spent with Heather the most, looked forward to dinner all day long. The morning after he’d kissed her, he’d still been smiling but had taken one look at her face and known that she wasn’t quite as happy with the kiss as he was. When it became clear that she was just going to pretend that it hadn’t happen, he'd decided to follow along, let her get used to the idea that there might be something between them. He’d waited a long time to find a woman like her and was more than willing to wait a little longer.
They’d gotten into the habit of taking a walk before going to their tents for the night, as much fun as it was to spend time with everyone after dinner they both seemed to have the need for some quiet time before bed. It was their third night at the site and they both knew that they’d have to be leaving in the next few days, Heather’s experiment for his project would be ready and any delay on the next step could force her to start over.
“I think we should leave the day after tomorrow, that gives us a cushion in case something happens to slow us down on the way back. I heard that we might be getting some weather in the next few days, rain and wind,” Heather said as if she was reading his mind.
“I was just thinking the same thing,” Brian said. “But I wish we didn’t have to go back, I’ve been having so much fun.”
*****
Heather’s heart leapt at his words, she’d been thinking the same thing but then realized that unlike her it might have nothing to do with how much she was enjoying spending time with him. He might only be talking about everything he’d been doing with the other scientists, but the kiss from the other night was never far from her mind when she was with him. Part of her wished he’d kiss her again, wanted to know if it was really as wonderful as she remembered, but another part of her hoped that he wouldn’t, knowing that another kiss might make her do something she knew was a bad idea.
“I’m glad you had fun,” Heather said. “And I guess when we get back there’s no reason you can’t go back to the Amazon.”
Brian seemed to think about that. “I don’t think there’s any big hurry. Right now, I can’t do much more on the project until I get the results from the satellite labs and that might take a couple of weeks.”
Heather was surprised to hear him say that, after all for weeks all he’d talked about was getting back to the Amazon, to the research that was the focus of his life. “Oh, umm… well I’m sure that would be fine, I mean everyone loves you in Homestead.”
“What about you Heather, are you glad that I’ll be staying for a while?” Brian asked, a note of teasing in his voice, but the look in his eyes was very serious.
Heather didn’t know how to answer his question, if she was honest she’d tell him that she never wanted him to leave, wanted him to stay in Homestead, fall in love with her and make her happy for the rest of her life. But that was never going to happen, Brian’s life wasn’t in Homestead, his life was in the Amazon and it didn’t include her.
“Considering the fact that you thought I was trying to kill you for the first two weeks we knew each other, I’m surprisingly happy to have you here for a few more weeks,” she said, trying to adopt the same teasing tone he’d used but unable to hide the raw desire she was feeling.
Brian didn’t mistake the look in her eyes for anything else but desire and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Instantly, the passion between them exploded, pleasure so intense the kiss only lasted a few minutes before they both had to stop for a breath. The stars the only light in the sky, their eyes met and something passed between them again, but this time it was something more than just passion and Heather knew that she was in trouble. There was a part of her that didn’t believe that this was real, a part that believed it was just Brian’s response to being so sick, but there was also a part of her that didn’t care, a part that wanted to be in his arms being kissed by the first man who’d ever made her feel real desire.
Brian leaned his forehead against hers and said, “I’m certainly not trying to kill you now.”
Heather wanted to tell him that he was but just in a different way, but instead she said, “I think I like this much better.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Brian said, then framed her face with his hands. “I definitely like this better.”
This time when his mouth came down on hers, she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. She was timid at first, only darting her tongue a little way into his mouth before retreating, but when he groaned and pulled her closer, she became braver. Brian’s hard body was pressed up against hers, her breasts smashed up against his chest sending tingles straight to her middle and when his hands began to roam up and down her back the feeling only intensified.
When he gently pushed her away and slid his hand between them to cup her breast, her knees went weak with the pleasure, but it also triggered that part of her brain that was still in doubt so she pulled away from him. Her body tingling with a mixture of desire and pleasure, she desperately tried to get herself under control. It had been one thing to fantasize about being with Brian, it was an entirely different thing to actually have it happen. She was shocked and confused, unprepared for the intensity of the feelings or how desperately she wanted them to be real.
She opened her mouth to tell him what a bad idea that was but he put a finger over her lips and said, “Let’s sit down, I want to talk to you.”
Heather didn’t know what to think so she followed him to a fallen log and sat down next to him, her heart hammering in her chest, not sure what to expect. But it wasn’t long before he began to speak. “I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate the great care you gave me when I was sick,” he began, then paused as if collecting his thoughts.
“I’m a doctor it’s my job,” she said, shrugging off his gratitude.
“But you did more than just take care of my physical health, you made sure that I had something to keep my mind occupied as well, even though I know I was driving you crazy.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Heather said. Then added, “Well, not once I got you interested in microbes.”
Brian nodded his head. “You knew that I wouldn’t be able to resist the lure of something new.”
“We’re a lot alike in that way, I knew that you were bored and I was afraid you’d start talking about leaving again. I had to find something to distract you, it was the only thing I could think of,” She said, thinking that if things were different he’d be the perfect man for her.
Heather was confused. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been so focused on my goals that I’ve forgotten that there’s a lot more to life than just science and research. The people here have shown me that it’s possible to achieve great things and still have a life of my own, to make connections with people. I’m tired of living a life of secrecy where my only friend is my research assistant. I’m tired of hiding what I do everyday for fear that someone will steal it.”
Heather was beginning to understand what he was trying to say. “But the research you do should be secret, we’re working on something that could be worth billions of dollars to pharmaceutical companies.”
Brian nodded. “Yes, and I’d always hoped that I’d be able to control that, I still do. What I’m talking about is changing my focus, doing something that doesn’t have to be kept secret, something that can benefit the world in a different way. I feel like a different man since I got sick, like what I’ve been doing might not be as beneficial as I thought, that I’m not making as much of a difference as I could be.”
“But the plants you’ve discovered in the Amazon will all help so many people,” Heather said, thinking of the millions who could be saved by the fungus they were studying at that moment.
“And make someone rich. Let’s face it Heather, the things I’ve done have helped the world but only a select part of the world. Something like this has a much farther reach and I could have a life of my own too, I’m tired of working alone,” Brian said.
Heather was silent for so long that he continued. “Harry invited me to come back any time I want and I was thinking that once we’ve finished the work in the Amazon I might take him up on that offer,” he said, then breathed a sigh of relief when Heather’s face lit up. “It wouldn’t be forever, there’s not enough room for both of us on a project like this, but I have a lot to learn about what they’re doing here. I’ve thought that maybe I could find my own project like this, it’s not like I don’t have the money to back it, and Seth tells me that he’s gotten all the money he invested back already.”
Heather could hear the excitement in his voice. “It sounds like you’ve thought about this a lot,” she said, not sure what else to say.
She wanted to tell him how much she wanted him to stay in Homestead, how wonderful it felt when he kissed her, how much she enjoyed working with him and so much more. But she kept her mouth shut, afraid that if she told him how she really felt he’d laugh or worse that a few weeks from now he’d emerge from the euphoria of being healthy and go back to his real life, leaving her broken-hearted and alone. She was alone now but that kind of loneliness was different and she wanted nothing to do with it if she could help it, although it might already be too late.
Brian turned to face her. “Heather I want more out of life, I want friends, I want family. I’ve been so unconnected for so long that I’d forgotten what I’d been missing and I have you to thank for reminding that those things are important, that life isn’t worth living without them.”
His words sounded so wonderful to Heather and there was no mistaking the desire in his eyes. She wanted more than anything in the world to just give in, let what seemed to be happening between them come to its natural end but deep down she couldn’t shut out that little voice that kept telling her to be careful.
“It sounds like getting sick has really made you take a look at your life,” she said carefully, not wanting to discount what he was feeling. “Sometimes that happens when people recover from an illness like you did. It makes us stop and look at our lives, makes us see them differently.”
What she didn’t add was that nine times out of ten, people eventually went back to their old way of living when making the changes they’d been planning turned out to be too difficult. But then she realized that Brian might just be one of the ones who made it, who managed to change their lives for the better. He literally had billions of dollars at his disposal, enough money to fund whatever project he might come up with. But as to his feelings for her, they would probably fade when he went back to the Amazon, a pleasant memory and nothing more.
*****
It had begun to grow cold, the wind began to stir the trees and there was a distinct chill in the air. When Heather shivered Brian pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. “I guess we should get back,” he said, a bit disappointed that the night hadn’t quite turned out the way he’d hoped.
He had kissed Heather again, but he’d been too scared to tell her how much he was beginning to care about her. How much he loved being around her, that he loved the way her eyebrows came together when she was thinking about a problem, that he was beginning to fall in love with her. As they walked back to camp, he took her hand, threading his finger through hers and didn’t let go, maybe it was just too soon to tell her how he felt. It was then that he suddenly realized that she might not feel the same way he did, they’d never talked about their love lives, their plans for the future. He didn’t even know if she wanted to get married and have kids one day, it had just never come up in conversation.
Now more than ever he was determined to stay in Homestead for a few more weeks, he could wait for the results from the satellite labs just as well here as he could in the Amazon and Heather was here not there. He’d never felt this way about a woman before, never wanted to know what her favorite food was, her favorite movie, or if she preferred a bath or a shower. Something deep inside him was telling him that if he left for the Amazon now, he’d lose his chance to find something wonderful and incredible and he wasn’t about to do that.
Brian followed Heather to her house when they got back to Homestead, “I’ll help you unload your gear,” he offered, looking at the cute little house where she lived, charmed by the rocking chairs set out on the porch and imagining himself sitting there with her watching the stars.
“It’s not much, but it’s got a little yard with a garden, and it’s all mine,” she said when they got inside. “I’m sure you’re used to much nicer homes, but for me this is perfect.”
Brian laughed. “I’ve been living in a tent for the last two years, this looks like paradise.”
Heather laughed at his little joke, threw her hands out and said, “Well then, welcome to paradise.” Then blushed when Brian’s eyes roamed over her body, the unintentional invitation she’d given him all the permission he needed.
His eyes filled with desire and before she could stop him, he’d crossed the room and taken her in his arms. Then his mouth came down on hers, the kiss so full of passion she was instantly awash in pleasure, a tight coil building deep inside her. When he began to run his hands up and down her back, she was powerless to stop him, the memory of the desire in his eyes only increasing the need that was building deep inside her, making it impossible for her to move away from him.
Brian felt Heather’s resistance fade as he kissed her, her body molded to his when she relaxed completely in his arms and he knew that he’d won, knew that she was his for the taking if he wanted. But that wasn’t what he wanted. When it happened, he wanted it to be special, to be something they both remembered for the rest of their lives. The passion between them was frightening at times, but he was old enough to know that it was something special, something that needed to be nurtured until it was ripe with the love he hoped they’d share. He was willing to wait for that day, to share with Heather what he’d never shared with another woman. Love.
*****
Heather was sitting at her desk in the lab, a pile of papers spread out in front of her, the computer on, but she hadn’t moved for several minutes. She was staring at the clock wondering where Brian was and what he was doing since she hadn’t h
eard from him since he’d walked out of her house the night before, calling over his shoulder that he’d see her in the morning. That had been over twenty-four hours ago and she wondered if he’d already come to his senses or maybe all that kissing hadn’t meant what she thought it had meant.
She’d been trying to hold off the hurt feelings that were welling up inside her, but each time she looked at the clock and another hour had passed, she felt them grow. Oddly enough she also felt an acute sense of loss, which was silly because Brian wasn’t hers and never had been. It had only been a few kisses, nothing more. But she’d begun to think that what was happening between the was real, that he felt the passion between them and wanted more, which had clearly been a mistake.
Pushing thoughts of Brian and what could have been out of her mind, she turned back to the computer and the test results she’d been working on, glad that she at least had this to keep her distracted. But all too soon, thoughts of him began to push everything else out again. Fed up with trying to work, she began putting things away, hoping that if she went home she’d be able to find some way to distract herself.
She was just about to shut off the computer when she heard a noise in the hallway and started for the door to investigate. When she opened it, Brian was standing in the hallway, a big grin on his face. “Hello,” he said, making her blush when she saw the desire in his eyes.
“Oh, ummm…” she stumbled for something to say, then finally managed to ask, “What are you doing here?”
“I came to ask you to go to dinner with me. I booked us a table at The Glass Slipper,” Brian said, a hopeful look on his face.
The Glass Slipper was the nicest restaurant in town, the kind of place people celebrated the big events in life but she’d never been there. “I’m not really dressed for dinner out,” she managed to say.
“I’ve taken care of that,” Brian said, pulling a garment bag out from behind him. “Amanda was nice enough to put a few things together for you. She said that everything you need is in the bag.”
Unbreak My Heart_BWWM Romance Page 6