Twinkie nodded, fiddling with a miniature car he kept on his desktop. “True. Look, cut him some slack, okay? You really scared us.”
Not nearly as much as she’d scared herself. “Bottom line, Twinks. Can you hire me or not?”
Nodding slowly, Twinkie replaced the car before grazing his fingertip across the framed picture of his wife and kids. “I can and will. The least I can do, really. Besides, even if Gray isn’t crazy about it, you’re right. You do need some semblance of control over your situation, and I don’t know that I would’ve managed not to flip out on him by this point if I were in your shoes.”
She snorted, leaning back in the chair and relaxing her fingers from their death grip on the chair. “Every time I’m tempted, I remember that he practically wiped my ass for a while there. Nothing controls temper like the knowledge that the object of your frustration did what no one else would’ve in their position.”
Twinkie nodded, mimicking her and leaning back in his chair with a squeak of protesting plastic. “I’ll hire you. I’ll get you a stool, at least at first, so you can sit and work the register. I want you to take frequent breaks, and I’ll start you out at the same rate of pay as the rest of my new employees. Fair enough?”
It was more than she’d hoped for, honestly. Nodding, she reached out to shake his hand. He laughingly complied but hung on to her fingertips for longer than was needed. “Can we be blunt about another topic while you’re here without Gray?”
With a tug, she freed her fingers and reclined again. “Hit me.”
Twinkie smirked, one brow raised. “You’re not going to be happy that I’m bringing it up, but someone needs to. Look, you’ve had a crush on Gray since you were knee-high to a bug’s asshole.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she counted her breaths in and out. A headache threatened, but she could still think past it. Since she’d begun weaning herself secretly off the pain pills—literally hiding them from Gray in her room like some character from a bad movie—the headaches had ranged in severity, depending on the day. She’d be damned if she would become addicted to pharmaceuticals on top of everything else, though, so she’d prefer the pain to the possibility. “Everyone knows that except the blockhead. You’re not exactly breaking news there, Twinks. Tell me this has a point, or I’m going to head back before the warden realizes I’ve escaped.”
Her attempt at lightheartedness wasn’t returned. “So, how are things between you both now?”
Her shrug apparently wasn’t answer enough, as Twinkie still focused on her unwaveringly. “Nothing new. We’re exactly as we’ve always been.”
Sure, she’d tried to kiss him once, but he’d rejected her. Many nights, he held her in his arms, yet out of the countless times, not once had he even slightly implied he regretted his rebuke of her regrettable embrace in the shower. By now, he had likely chalked up her flailing attempt at romance to her brain injury. Which was good. Safer, anyway, for sure. “Seriously, we’re still just friends. I love him with all my heart—”
Twinkie interrupted her by knocking on the desk in a sharp rap. “Exactly. And he loves you.”
“Look, you’re all roses and flowers and chocolate-flavored hearts since you got married and cranked out a kid. I get that. But I’m not wired that way.”
A lie, which she figured he saw through. Her crush on Gray only got worse by the day, fueled by the hundred little things he did to make sure she was safe and cared for. When her father came to the house, hadn’t Gray practically chased him off? Gray was family, and it was foolish for her to keep trying to romanticize or project her own lusty thoughts at a man who clearly wasn’t interested.
“We’re good the way we are. He’s family. You’re family. Don’t worry about any of it. We’ve got the situation under control.”
Giving up the topic, Twinkie stood and opened the door.
“If you ever need to talk, I’m here. But not while you’re working, of course. Because then I’ll be your boss and you have to listen to me, like it or not. Muah-ha-ha-ha.”
His faked laugh didn’t lift the weight of his words or remove his sincerity in the slightest.
“Got it, boss man. When do I start?”
Twinkie shrugged. “How about tomorrow? You have appointments with the docs, or can you be here by ten in the morning?”
“I’ll be here. And…thanks for giving me a shot, Twinkletoes.”
He hugged her again. “You’d do the same for me. Like you said, we’re family, kid.”
***
“Where in the hell were you?”
She froze, her spine ramrod straight and her hand still clenched on the doorknob she’d tried to close silently. Gray resisted the urge to pick her up and plop her on the couch. Lately she’d been more and more resistant to his attempts to take care of her. Picking her up and moving her around really set her off, and with his own anger thrumming through his head like a pulse….
No sense setting off a trigger.
Slowly, she turned to face him, her chin tilted up in a stubborn gesture he recognized. Their buddies always joked that their May birthdays—only a week apart—made them the two most stubborn members of their group, both of them bullheaded Taurians, neither ever willing to cave an inch. Still, Gray usually had the pleasure of watching her direct her obstinacy at others, not at him.
“I was out.”
As she moved to shove past him, he snagged her arm.
“Not so fast. How am I supposed to take care of you if you just go off on your own? I told you, if you want to go somewhere—”
She didn’t let him finish, shaking off his grip and his words in fury.
“You’re not supposed to take care of me. Lay off, Nurse Gray.”
“Where were you, Robs?”
Perhaps if he tempered his tone, she’d explain. Surely she realized the price and ramifications of her impulsive nature after the accident.
“Out.”
With that, she closed her bedroom door in his face. Thumping on it with his fist, he stopped abruptly when she opened it back up.
“What?” she practically bellowed at him.
Stomping his foot—since there wasn’t much else he could do—he shoved his fisted hands in his pockets. “I would appreciate it if you told me where you went.”
There. Calm, modulated tone? Check.
She didn’t bother to modulate her tone. “I went out, Gray. I’m an adult, and although I appreciate all you’ve done and that you’re putting me up since I’ve lost everything, I’m tired of being entirely beholden to you. I’m also tired of answering to you for every moment of my day. Again, adult, and not used to being held accountable for—”
Stepping forward, he leaned low so their faces were close. “I saw what happened when you chose not to be accountable for your actions, and I’ve spent months mopping up the mess. Tell me where you were, god dammit, because I’ve been worried for hours.”
Even as he said it, he hated himself for bringing up the accident, but he’d been biting his tongue, holding back his anger and putting a leash on growing lust for months. Too many months, and his temper and emotions were frayed from the strain of holding back so much of what he felt to protect her.
Watching the color drain from her face punished him for his words more than anything she could have said in rebuttal, and he shoved her into the room. Pushing her onto the bed, he then guided her head between her knees before she fainted.
“Breathe, Robbie.”
Smacking away his hands, she faced him instead of moving obediently where he tried to put her. “Would you stop it, Nurse Gray? Just stop! I don’t want you constantly worrying about me, treating me like I’m going to shatter into a million pieces if you don’t carefully hold me together. Please remember me before the damned accident instead of only remembering the after. I’m a grown-ass woman, dammit, like I keep telling you.”
Standing, she smacked his chest, her fury obviously not abated.
<
br /> “While I’m at it, I might as well point out that, as a grown-ass woman, I’ve been making my own decisions for years before you saved me from the hospital. One. I made one shitty choice, and it landed me in a hell I could never have imagined. Yes, like I said, I’ll forever be grateful for you grabbing my ankle and basically dragging me back to health. But, although I’m grateful, you also need to back the fuck off and let me be a grown woman again.”
“Would you stop saying that?” She’d backed him into a wall with her smacks, and he rounded on her, swapping their positions. Hitting the wall behind her head hurt his fist but helped him see past the white-hot heat of his frustration. “I’m getting about as sick of that as I am your Nurse Gray bullshit.”
He shouldn’t yell at her. It had only been about half a year since her accident. He should be protecting her, not yelling at her. But she tangled his emotions up, and he’d been bottling them up for so damned long, so it felt unbelievably good to get some of it off his chest.
Smacking him—again—she went up on her toes to better yell in his face.
“Stop saying what? That I’m grateful? I am. If you need to hear it a thousand times, I’ll say it, but—”
The reins on his control snapped, and he forced her back into the wall again. “No, that you’re a woman. I know you’re a woman, Robbie.”
Her pale face flushed, lips pinching together in a tight line. “Oh, sure you—”
Not letting her finish, he slanted his lips across hers. How many nights had he dreamed of kissing her? Of how she’d melt into him and how those lips of hers might taste?
But this wasn’t about the tender thoughts he’d buried while he helped her recover. Instead, he shoved his angry frustration inside her mouth along with his tongue. Tangling his fingers in the dandelion fluff of her hair, he pressed their bodies together, sure she’d feel his need for her—hard and ready between them.
She shoved him away, but the tears glittering in her eyes made him retreat faster than the hand on his chest. “Christ, Robbie, I’m sorry.”
“Look, Gray… I can take a lot from you. I love you, and I know you love me. But a pity kiss for the cripple? God, I thought I meant more to you than that.” She moved away from him, and he dragged his hand through his hair.
Funny how he could live with her for so long, have been part of her life for most of both their lives, and yet he managed to muddle things when it mattered.
Every time.
She plopped belly down on her bed, but he didn’t leave her alone as she so clearly wished. Instead, he lay next to her, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry I yelled at you when you got home. You’re not going to believe me, but realizing you were gone? It scared me. I worry about you.”
Her words were muffled since she had her face buried in the pillow, but he understood her when she spoke. “I know that. And I didn’t mean to yell at you, either.” She turned, facing him. Seeing the motion from the periphery of his vision, he turned to meet her searching gaze. “I get frustrated,” she added.
“Me too,” he admitted. He wanted to touch her but didn’t trust his temper.
“Not for the same reasons.” She breathed out, closing her eyes and seeming to gather herself to make a confession. “Twinkie just brought it up, and I know everyone else knows, but I want to tell you something that may or may not change how you see me.”
Closing his eyes, he turned his head to face the ceiling again. “Robs, I’ve seen you in every single situation known to mankind. I’ve been there when you were a kid, when you were a bitch through puberty, when you were a stubborn and stupid woman and made the one choice you regret….” He wasn’t sure why he kept bringing up her accident, unless it was to remind himself he couldn’t have her, not like he wanted her, because she was still recovering even if she’d long since lost her bruises on the outside. “I’ve been there when you couldn’t talk, and I’ll be with you regardless of what shitty things we say to one another. I can’t see what deep secret you could possibly have—”
He heard movement next to him but didn’t look. After a long pause, during which he thought she might have gone to sleep, she finally spoke. “I have a crush on you, Gray Smythe, and I have carried that torch for a long-ass time.”
His eyes popped open so fast he felt dizzy. Turning to her, he saw she’d rolled so he only saw her back. “A crush? On me?”
Funny, he’d been thinking he loved her with everything in him, and she’d been nursing a crush…such a weak word compared to the ball of emotions he crumpled and hid in his chest for her.
Her shoulders moved, a sideways shrug. “Like I said, I went to see Twinkie. He brought it up, so I figured maybe you’d guessed. Anyway, that said, I owe you an apology. I’ve been stalling giving it. Your thing, just now? It reminded me. I’m sorry I basically molested you in the shower. I’m trying not to overwhelm you with unwanted advances, so….”
He caught her shoulder and flipped her to face him, but she kept her face turned away. “Your unwanted advances, huh? You’re apologizing for attacking me with your wet, naked body when you were sick, correct?”
One eye opened, her lips twisted, and she mumbled, “You don’t have to make that sound so stupid. I did owe you an apology for it. However, you should apologize for that pity kiss, too, since it was equally lame.”
Shaking his head slowly, he frowned at her. “The doctor—”
Both eyes opened, and she considered him seriously, her hand coming up to touch his cheek gently. “Released me to work. I want you to take me out to try to drive again, too, if you don’t mind. I went to Twinkie today to see if he’d hire me. I’m going back to work. I’m not going to burden you with taking care of me any longer than I have to, Gray. Though I’ll never be able to repay what you did for me, and….” She paused to take a wobbling breath.
He kept shaking his head at her, wondering when she’d get it. “Repay me—”
Slender fingertips, cool and the opposite of the churning heat that boiled inside him, covered his lips with grating gentleness. “Shh, I know. You didn’t do it to get repaid because we’re family, but I want you to know—”
As mildly as he could, he interrupted her by gripping her wrist and placing it on the bed above her head. Rolling, he hovered over her, pinning her body under his. “Sweetheart, I don’t want your gratitude, and I certainly don’t want your apologies. I want you.”
She blinked at him, visibly struggling to comprehend his words. “You want me to what?”
Pushing his hips into hers, he leaned closer so that their breaths mingled. “I want you, dammit.”
She sucked in a breath, biting her lower lip between her teeth, and he resisted the urge to capture that lip with his mouth. She whispered, as if afraid to speak loudly and break the spell enchanting them both. “Like, I’m going to need you to clarify, Gray, since I’m pretty sure I’m misconstruing your meaning here.”
“Let’s see if I can explain in terms we both can’t misconstrue.”
With that, he kissed her again. This time, with a tiny whimper, she returned the sentiment. When their tongues met, Gray let go of his control and caught her close instead. He didn’t need reason or logic, not so long as he had Robbie.
Chapter Seven
Whenever she’d fantasized about what it might be like to kiss Gray Smythe, she’d figured it would be pretty earth-shattering. After all, he was unlike any man she’d ever met. He was her favorite person, the sexiest man she’d ever seen, and he carried himself with innate magnetism that turned her on irresistibly, even when he wasn’t directing his charisma at her directly.
The flaw in her imagining of what it would be like was she’d compared the experience to the pathetic fumbling of the men she’d dated. Gray wasn’t like anything her feeble imagination could drum up, not by a long shot.
His hair under her fingertips was a tactile playground, soft and strong all at once. His scent overwhelmed her—male and tinted with edges of
citrus from his soap. All of that, layered with the feel of his lips staking a claim on her own, fired her blood and turned her molten. When he pulled back, ice sheeted over her, and she gripped his shirt. “If you back down now, I swear to God, Gray….”
He laughed, framing her face with his big, work-rough hands. “I’m not backing down. I wanted to make something clear, though.”
“Make it clear while you take off your shirt,” she demanded.
His breath came out in a rush. “You’re bossy.”
She arched a brow. “Shirt?”
Tugging it over his head obediently, he still had his arms above his head when she tracked her palms down his chest. Beautifully muscled, tanned from his work outdoors—he flat-out did it for her. “I have to be bossy. I never thought we’d actually get to this point.”
Bending, he rested his brow against hers. A purely feminine part of her noticed how his breath raced and the vein in the side of his neck pulsed, proof he wanted her as much as she desired him.
“Me either. But I think I should tell you—”
Shaking her head, she moved her head so she could nibble her way up his jaw. “We’ve talked for years. Kiss me again, quickly, before I think I’ve imagined it.”
With a groan, he obeyed. Drowning in him, she streaked her palms over his chest to lock behind his back. As she came up for air, she noticed he struggled to get her shirt off. “My turn. Let me see.”
She laughed, despite the passion raging through her system. “Greedy….”
“You have no idea.” His hands pushed her back onto the bed, cupping her breasts before tracing down her stomach and back up again. “I’ve been literally starved to touch you like this. I’ve wanted your breasts in my mouth….” He trailed off, putting action to words. As he sucked her nipple deep into the warm recess of his mouth, an electrical storm of sensations sizzled across her flesh to pool between her legs. “I think the hardest thing I’ve ever done was getting out of that shower when all I wanted was more of your skin, all naked and warm.”
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