Ashley, curious to see such a bizarre reaction to graduation day, looked in the direction her sister now pointed: a parking lot around the other side of the school. And although she spotted a kid doing the gymnastic maneuver, Ashley’s attention veered toward that secret spot where she and her boyfriend often…
She spotted Scott’s backside as he leaned against the wall with his head hanging low. (She had spent so much time admiring his firm butt that she’d recognize it anywhere). Yet there he stood, in their secret spot...kissing another girl!
As the station wagon drove past, Ashley watched in slow motion as the girl wrapped her arms around Scott’s neck, drawing him in close, deepening their kiss. At first, Ashley thought she’d imagined it. Surely, someone else had invaded their private space. But no, she couldn’t overlook the way the young man leaned his body into the other woman.
It was definitely Scott. Using their secret hideaway. To kiss someone else.
Feeling as though all the oxygen had vanished from the car, growing dizzy as confusion battled shock in her mind, Ashley stared unblinking at the horrible scene until they drove past it.
“Huh, Ash?” Kelsey asked, eager for an answer. “So can I? Marry him?”
Ashley ignored her sister’s words. She finally closed her eyes. Had her eyes misted up because she’d gone so long without blinking or because her brain had finally grasped the meaning behind what she’d just witnessed? She wanted to look back to ensure that she’d seen correctly. But something told her not to – that she’d seen enough. Another glance would quadruple the bulge in her throat, would make her spinning mind fast-forward, leading to the urge to vomit.
Her father drove around the corner and kept going.
Now that the spectacle had vanished from view, Ashley cringed as she bent forward. It turned out that she didn’t need to catch another glimpse of Scott cheating on her to feel nauseous. “Stop the car.”
“She didn’t answer,” Kelsey said, grinning. “Mom, I’m getting married to Scott. Book the church!”
“Great,” said their mother, rolling her eyes. “Just what we need. Another daughter falling for the town bad-boy.”
“I’m going to throw up,” Ashley said, unable to stop from dry heaving.
Her father stomped on the brakes, jerking the car to a stop.
Ashley whipped the door open, stepped out on weary legs, hunched over, and hurled. And she couldn’t seem to finish: all of the excitement she and Scott had shared, all of the future plans (in her mind, at least), all of the intimacy they’d experienced – all of it gone.
She wanted to cry, but she was too stunned and scared that the love of her life ended their relationship without even telling her, to let her body react that way. After a long moment, she regained her breath. Now certain that she wouldn’t vomit again, Ashley entered the car once more and took her seat, sickened by the scent in her mouth.
“Gross,” Alexander said, snarling. “Puking is bad luck. I’ve heard it’s a sign of the devil.”
“Don’t say that,” their mother said. “It’s just nerves. Your sister took a big step today. It’s scary to take a new direction in life.”
Ashley sat there, transfixed on the windshield, trying not to remember all of her affectionate moments with Scott: the times they huddled together in their secret spot at school; running their hands across each other’s bodies; clutching on to each other, kissing each other; whispering into each other’s ears about “forever” and “eternity” and other words that now felt hollow and dishonest and naive.
Why had she revealed so much about herself, knowing that people often excelled in deception and backstabbing? How had she actually believed that Scott might be more than just a first love? That he might be her one and only?
“You okay?” her father asked, looking at her in the rearview mirror.
She nodded. “I’ll be fine.” But her voice didn’t mesh with her words.
Moments later, after her father parked in the Baker’s Square parking lot and they entered the restaurant, a hostess led them to a large booth and took their orders. While trying to eat a tasteless, sticky slice of New York cheesecake, Ashley answered questions from her family in a haze of sadness and disbelief, while doing her best not to give away the feeling of betrayal that circled her heart.
Every second of every minute, she had to keep herself from crying. It used up so much energy that it became difficult to string two thoughts together. But one thing remained the same: she refused to tell her parents about Scott, only to see them grin and use condescending tones while saying “it’s better off this way,” and “time heals all wounds.”
When her parents gave Alexander and Kelsey a few dollars’ worth of quarters to play an arcade game at the front of the store, her father looked morose. Her mother glanced down at her half-eaten slice of Lemon Meringue with a similar expression.
Ashley had no idea that her stomach could plummet even further in worry. “What’s wrong? What did I do now?”
“Nothing, honey,” her mother said, reaching for her hand.
Ashley pulled it back, a sense of suspicion creeping over her. “What’s going on? Why do I feel like you’re about to say something bad?”
Her father took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. “We have to tell you something…that you might not want to hear.”
At first, she suspected they might mention Scott’s name. But considering that they’d prefer to never think about him, much less talk about him, Ashley almost chuckled. At that moment, she doubted that whatever news her parents planned to deliver would even come close to disrupting the sorrow that invaded her heart and mind.
“Go ahead,” Ashley said. “Get it out. Lay it on me.”
Her parents exchanged an unrecognizable glance then returned their attention to her. Her dad said, “This is hard for us to say. We’ve spent almost two decades trying to run away from the truth. But I promised, we would face it…on this day.”
“I’m a man?” said Ashley, trying to play with their cryptic expressions, as though she’d known all along. “It’s okay. I’ve always wondered, but I’ve just got to face the truth.” She pushed a hand across the table to her mother’s and wrapped it over her palm. “It’s okay. I’ve already accepted it. Don’t blame yourselves. You’ll get through this.”
A real smile somehow came over her. But seeing their saddened expressions made her realize that they were about to have a very serious conversation. It made her retrieve her palm and sit back in the booth, a deep solemnity overtaking her.
“Well,” said her father, unable to meet her gaze, “your mother and I agreed to speak with you on the day of your high school graduation.”
That line and all the implications that accompanied it made Ashley sit up straight.
“We agreed that…” Her father looked at his wife and wrapped an arm around her shoulders before returning his gaze to Ashley. “…we’d tell you the truth. Not that it changes anything. How could it? It’s always been this way, so why should it be any different?”
Ashley couldn’t recall seeing both of her parents looking so anxious, so disheartened. It temporarily made her forget the other bombshell she’d been forced to deal with only an hour ago. “Stop going in circles. What’s wrong?” she asked, looking from her father to her mother. “Tell me.”
Her mom grabbed her hand and tightened her grasp on Ashley’s palm. “Honey, I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just come out with it. We adopted you.”
Ashley stared at her, open-mouthed and frozen in shock. “What?”
Her father met her eyes with a kind expression. “Seventeen years ago, my partner, my…best friend…and his wife died in a car accident.” Tears glistened in his eyes, and although he tried to lift his head to meet Ashley’s gaze, he kept looking down to the crumbs of apple pie on his plate. “My partner introduced me to your mother. He’s responsible for our relationship, our family.” He swallowed, but based on the way he put a hand over his eyes, he couldn�
�t continue speaking.
Her mother clutched Ashley’s hand. “Without your father’s partner, we wouldn’t be married. We wouldn’t have a family.”
“What are you saying?” Ashley asked, dread filling her.
“Before you were born, your father and I agreed to be your godparents…that if anything happened to your parents, we’d adopt you.”
Ashley jumped up from the table, anger rushing through her, unable to stop the feeling of betrayal from collapsing on top of her. “What?” And despite her anger and confusion, she still held her mom’s hand. But she didn’t know why.
Her mother reached out for her with her other hand.
But Ashley swung her arm back. “What?” Her mind grew hazy, unable to pick the question that felt just out of reach. “What did you say?”
Her mother, still leaving her free hand outstretched across the table, glanced at her husband before returning her gaze to Ashley. “We adopted you.”
Ashley reeled as if she’d just suffered a bout of vertigo. She stepped backwards and almost fell over. “This can’t be.” She shook her head. “No. That’s not true.” She looked at her father. “Tell me it’s not true.”
This time, her dad met her stare. “Ashley, honey, I can’t. It’s the truth. I’m sorry.”
Tears gushed into her eyes. It became difficult to breathe. “You’re sorry? Sorry that you lied to me? For seventeen years? That you’re both liars?”
Her dad shook his head, but he couldn’t look in her eyes.
Ashley watched his lips moving, saw the troubled expression on his face, heard his voice but couldn’t make out one word of what he said. Not that it mattered. Her parents had kept a secret from her for almost two decades.
Her mind spun around in circles, forcing her to put her hands to her head to stop the dizziness that overcame her. She shook her head again, this time as much to deny the truth as to clear the haze from her brain.
Shifting her attention to her mother, Ashley saw tears in her eyes, saw the way she fiddled with her hands the way a dog chased its tail, saw how she nodded every so often in agreement with her husband.
But Ashley also saw two people who had plotted against her. Before walking into the restaurant, she hadn’t thought it possible to scrape the memory of seeing Scott kissing another girl from her mind. Now, however, both painful truths fought each other for control of her mind. Her head pounded so hard that it made her eyes hurt. Tears shimmered in her eyes.
Her mother clenched her hand tight. “We’re so sorry.”
“Get away from me,” Ashley said, severing ties with her. The misery splitting her head doubled, tripled. She closed her eyes, but doing so made queasiness set in. She opened them and spun around, almost knocking over a waitress, who balanced four plates in her arms.
“Honey, please don’t go,” her mother said in a frightened, high-pitched voice.
But Ashley rushed away from the booth. She passed her siblings, who had no idea about the secrets their parents most likely hid from them as well, and rushed out of the restaurant.
After running home and barricading herself in her room, Ashley heard her mother knock on her door several times.
“You’ve got every right to be angry with us,” said her mom. “But we never meant to hurt you. And when you’re ready to talk or ask us any questions, we’ll be here for you.”
At that moment, Ashley had been cleaning out her closet and stuffing all of the clothes and personal keepsakes she could find into two suitcases.
Staying in Bedford Falls would only remind her of friends who dropped her, a boyfriend who stabbed her in the back, and parents who needed nearly two decades to finally reveal why they couldn’t love her as much as their real children.
The next morning, before anyone in the house had awoken, Ashley left a note on the kitchen table stating that she was leaving for LA to begin her new life. She wouldn’t lie: vanishing without a proper goodbye felt cruel, but her parents had thousands of opportunities to tell her the truth. They had raised her to be kind, courteous, and respectful. But they hadn’t followed their own advice.
Ashley knew full well that in leaving only a note explaining her feelings and her intentions, she’d disregarded their wisdom. And while she couldn’t deny that she was too shocked and angry to let proper judgment dictate her direction in life, she didn’t leave to hurt them.
Ashley simply knew that if she didn’t leave immediately, she would spend the summer depressed, and whenever sadness or disappointment overwhelmed her, she’d need to invest her time and energy in something that would get her mind off that self-pitying behavior.
And the only way to avoid that outcome was to shake up her life. Leaving for LA to pursue an acting career would give her a great opportunity to look past all she’d lost; she’d be so disoriented by her new surroundings and so desperate to find work in order to rent an apartment and buy food that she wouldn’t have a chance to get homesick.
PART TWO
FIFTEEN YEARS LATER
CHAPTER SEVEN
Until this moment, Ashley Lawford hadn’t seen or heard from Scott Mettle since the day they graduated from Bedford Falls High School. And now, watching him strut across the makeshift stage that rose only two feet above the floor at her sister Kelsey’s recently opened, enormous horror-themed restaurant, The Witching Hour, Ashley tried not to think about the beautiful life they could have shared – if he’d only been faithful.
Shirtless and ripped, Scott smirked as he held out the microphone to the crowd, his intense stage presence capturing their attention while they sang along with his tormented version of Head over Heels by Tears for Fears, Ashley’s favorite ’80s song. The tune exemplified their relationship better than any other.
He delivered an anguished cry of devotion that couldn’t be measured by years but by eternity. And since Scott knew her better than any person on the planet, even after all these years, he knew exactly how this performance would affect her. Assuming that he even knew she stood among the five hundred others on the jam-packed floor.
Apparently, Kelsey had endured some financial difficulties because an unscrupulous local competitor had offered higher-paying jobs to her employees, half of which had split without giving notice.
With less ten hours’ notice that Kelsey needed financial help, Scott agreed to play a set list of cover songs at her restaurant in hopes of drawing a large enough crowd to cover immediate expenses.
And judging by the turn-out, Scott Mettle appeared more famous now, seven years after putting out his last record and booking his last gig on stage, than the preceding eight years when he’d scored two platinum albums.
Kelsey’s friends had pitched in by waiting tables and serving as bartenders. Their mother buzzed around the kitchen, preparing appetizers, while their father acted as security, dressed in his old (and now tight-fitting) police uniform. Kelsey hoped the restaurant would earn enough money from tonight’s liquor sales that she’d be able pay her bills and set up potential interviews in order to re-open as soon as possible.
Upon seeing this scene play out before her, Ashley wondered what the hell she’d walked into. But no matter how much time had passed, she marveled at how Scott had only become more gorgeous with time: chiseled chest and abs; devilish grin above a stiff jaw; and a sultry voice that, judging by the rabid reaction of the females, most of the women wished he’d use (among another, surely, more prominent one) during a night of lust-filled romance.
When Ashley first heard that Scott would take the stage, she had no intention of letting memories bubble to the surface, had no intention of recalling dreams she’d once hoped would come true, had no intention of becoming emotional. Yet, there she stood: in the middle of the crowd with tears blurring her vision. She figured the reason she’d never had a better boyfriend than Scott (until he’d messed it up) had everything to do with the short length of their relationship. No other romance could compare to one that had only good times.
Cradling the micro
phone stand the way he always used to cup her cheek in his palm before kissing her, Scott Mettle reached out towards Ashley, curling a finger at her to visit the stage. He howled in agonizing pain, as though his heart had never stopped burning for the woman who had never returned his devotion—or so he assumed.
How infuriating. He’d written song after song about her, but each one made it seem like she’d wrecked the relationship and not the other way around.
Scott gestured to the female fans that barely looked of legal drinking age nearest the stage as they beamed up at him, licking their lips in anticipation that he might pick them from the crowd to make out with after he finished his set. Other women pushed their hands through their hair, while slinking their body from side to side in a seductive dance to catch his attention in hopes that he might want to be the one rocking their bodies later that night. How disgusting!
While thinking that those women could do worse, Ashley remembered how she’d once been consumed by Scott: his strong but tender touch; the way his sometimes demanding yet other times subtle kisses pressed against her lips; the depth and intensity with which he stared into her eyes, penetrating her soul and accepting her despite her many flaws.
Then he tore her heart into pieces.
Since then, she’d dated infrequently due to the nature of her job. As an actress, she had a difficult time trusting whether men really cared for her – or just wanted to boast to their friends that they had kissed her or gone on a date with her. Likewise, as a supporting character on the popular broadcast network fantasy show, Revelations, she traveled a lot between Vancouver for that job and various other locations throughout the continental U.S. for bit parts in independent films and cable television shows. That rigorous schedule, where she sometimes couldn’t remember which city she resided in upon waking, made it hard on a stable, well-adjusted romantic relationship.
Besides, she’d met very few intelligent, kind men who treated her with respect. And none of them could match Scott Mettle’s inner strength and that cool exterior that oozed confidence but also a sentimental heart.
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