Barefoot and Lost

by Brian Francis Cox

  ‘No stop it your hurting me HELP.’

  ‘Shut up, of course it hurts, if you stopped squirming it wouldn’t, just lean against me and feel how I grow, wouldn’t you like to be like that?’

  The bathroom door bursts open, Lion comes charging in shouting, ‘You fucking pervert leave him alone.’ Flynn pushes me away and turns to confront his attacker, Lion charges him in the stomach, forcing Flynn against the edge of the bath, stumbling, banging his head on the wall as he falls with a splash into the water.

  ‘Bates, that’s the finish of you’

  ‘No pervert, it’s your finish.’ I try to put on my dressing gown Flynn struggles to get out of the bath, the bathroom door swings open and Mam walks in.

  ‘What the devil is going on here?’

  ‘I’ll tell you what happened Mam I was checking the bathroom and came across Bates here molesting Phillip, when I tried to intervene he attacked me I want him disciplined.’

  ‘That’s not true, Lion was protecting me, say something Lion.’

  ‘What’s the point, as the pervert says no one is going to believe me.’

  ‘Be quiet Phillip, it is natural you want to protect your friend, we will let the Reverend deal with this in the morning. Boys go to your room and thank you Mr. Flynn.’

  ‘What will happen now Lion?’

  ‘We are going to go to bed, when you get up in the morning I will be gone.’

  ‘What do you mean gone where are you going?’

  ‘I don’t know, away, if I stay here they will send me somewhere, maybe involve the police, I can’t stay and let that happen, they won’t believe me or you.’

  ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘No, this I have to do on my own, I can’t be responsible for you, it would be worse for me, and bad for you if you came along, say nothing. I’m sorry I won’t be here to protect you from Flynn but I reckon you will be able to do that on your own.’

  ‘Do you have any money; you will need it so you can get far away?’

  ‘Only yours, that’s all.’

  ‘You keep it, I won’t need it, and, if you never gave it back, I wouldn’t have it anyway, so I won’t miss it.’

  ‘Thanks Phil, you’re a great kid no, not a kid a great bloke, I wish I could stick around to be your friend.’

  ‘Bye Lion.’

  ‘Bye Phil, not a word okay? Bye and take care.’

  Chapter Four

  I have not slept well; this bed is not as comfortable as mine at June’s, I couldn’t be sure, but I think I heard Lion sneaking out.

  This morning Lion has gone, he has pushed his pillow under the blanket to make it look like he is still there.

  ‘Lion come on get up.’ I shout, making out I think he is here. Jack pulls back Lion’s blanket, ‘Shit he’s gone, where has he gone, has he run away, why would he do that?’

  ‘I don’t know Jack.’

  ‘Brian, Toby, do you know where he is’ Brian with his deep voice replies

  ‘He is probably having a shit’

  ‘And put his pillow under his blanket to make it look as though he is here, I don’t think so’

  ‘Sorry Jack I didn’t know that’

  ‘What shall we do?’ Jack goes to say something, but Brian interrupts

  ‘Toby, and the rest of you we say nothing, we try to cover for him and give him the best possible start. Whatever reason he has for scarpering, and knowing Lion it will be a good one let us give him a chance’ We all agree.

  Chapel and breakfast pass no one has spoken about Lion, nobody seems to have missed him yet.

  ‘Phillip, I want you and Lionel to the Reverends office now. Where is he, I pray to God he hasn’t been so foolish as to run away?’

  ‘I don’t know Mam; I haven’t seen him at all this morning.’

  The Reverend is shaking with fury towering over me, he says ‘Snell, you only came here yesterday and already you have caused trouble’

  ‘But Reverend’

  ‘Be quiet, yesterday I said the next time I saw you would be to praise you and here you are telling lies under some misguided loyalty to a thug who is obviously guilty, his running away proves that. I will hear no more of this, your next visit will be to Mr. Flynn to apologize, now that is the end of it; be off with you. Mr. Flynn is on duty tonight I want you in my office after supper you can apologize to him here I wish to be a witness. Wait outside Snell, I wish to speak with Mrs. Miller.’

  I hate this place, I don’t want to even talk to Flynn and certainly not apologize, what can I do? No one will believe me. I have not closed the door properly leaving it open about two inches, standing close I can hear what they are saying, ‘Alice, have the police been notified about Bates disappearance?’

  ‘Yes Reverend they have, there is someone on the way here.’

  ‘Will you deal with it I only want to be involved if it is absolutely necessary? Find an excuse to keep that boy Snell away from the police, I don’t want him attempting to decimate the character of a good man like Flynn out of some ill founded loyalty to that thug Bates.’

  ‘No Reverend, I think you’re right. There is a coach leaving at eleven, going to Tonbridge with the young ones on a sightseeing trip. I’ll put him on that and I’ll tell him it is a treat to ease him into the system. He is a lot older than the other kids but I‘ll tell him he is there to help Marjorie and Anne, the Canning girl will be there with her sister, so he won’t feel out of place. In fact it will be a perfect balance, one older boy, and one girl to assist.’

  ‘Whatever you think do not bore me with the details, I’ll leave it up to you.’

  ‘Very well thank you Reverend.’ I can hear Mam get out of the chair and make her way to the door, quickly turning I walk away trying to look innocent by making out I’m looking at a photograph of a river scene hanging on the wall.

  ‘Phillip I’m sure you have got off on the wrong foot since you came here, it is more than likely the fault of Lionel that you have become involved’

  ‘Mam it wasn’t Lionel it was------”

  ‘Be quiet, I want to hear no more of it, not another word do you hear me?’

  ‘Yes Mam.’

  ‘Because I believe you are a responsible boy and not a trouble maker I have a job for you, today you are to assist in chaperoning the eight, and nine year olds on a coach trip to Tonbridge.’

  ‘What do you mean shoperoning?’

  ‘Chaperone means to assist, help, look after them, make sure they don’t get lost or in trouble, all you have to do is what Marjorie or Anne tell you to do.’

  ‘Do I have to?’

  ‘I’m afraid you have no choice but I’m surprised with your reluctance, this is a treat, all of the other boys would jump at the chance to get away for a few hours. Hurry up the coach leaves in twenty minutes, go to your dorm and put on your best clothes and shoes.’

  It is such a long way to the front of the house. Being unable to use the front stairs it seems to be taking forever. I have found a short cut through a garden that is laid out like one I saw at Hampton Court. Ducking through a hedge I come up behind a green and cream coach that is waiting, the children are already on board, the driver, an old man wearing a navy blue uniform, and a white peaked cap, is talking to two women.

  One of the women is very fat she is wearing a floral dress that reaches to her ankles on her head is a very large straw hat with flowers around the brim. I don’t know why she is wearing it perhaps she is expecting sunshine, but at the moment the sky is overcast. The other lady is as thin as the other one is fat, depending which way you look at them, standing side by side with the thin one on the fat ones right side they look like a number10. The thin one is wearing a similar dress as her partner. She’s not wearing a hat maybe she’s going to share with fat lady? As I approach the gravel crunches under my feet, the three of them stop talking and give me a look that says we don’t want you with us. I hope I’m looking at them in the same way because I certainly don’t want to be here, I would sooner be wi
th my room mates. ‘Are you Phillip Snell?’

  ‘Yes, miss I was told to come and help you.’

  ‘Well so far you have been most unhelpful, you are late, and we have been delayed five minutes because of you.’

  ‘Sorry I didn’t know.’

  ‘Don’t stand there chatting get on the bus, go to the back and sit there, I will speak to you as we go along.’

  There are twenty kids, counting them I can see there are thirteen boys and seven girls, I didn’t know there were so many young ones at Saint Stephens. They are making a lot of noise but as fat and thin get on the bus they become silent without being told to. With a crunch of the gears and a lurch we make our way through the double gates onto the road.

  In the coach, unlike when I arrived by a taxi, I can see over the hedges into the green meadows either side of the road. I have only seen countryside like this from the train but this is different it’s like walking down a street only we are going faster. I can see children playing in their front gardens, a postman on a bicycle, ours always walked. Chickens on the side of the road flying as we go by, I didn’t know chickens could fly. We have just passed one of those funny houses with the roof that goes around, Pop told me about them when we went to London to see Michael in hospital, I can’t believe that was just over a week ago. On trees in an orchard I can see what I think are apples, I have not seen apples growing before. I would like to pick one. I wonder if those people from London were allowed to eat the hops whilst they were picking them, can you eat hops, I don’t know.

  Fat lady is coming up the aisle; her hips on both sides are rubbing against the seats as she struggles towards me. Out of breath she sags down on the back seat with her legs stretched out down the aisle half turning her head and body towards me. ‘Phillip by the way my name is Marjorie; your duties today will be very limited as we do not really need assistance. I cannot think for the life of me why you have been sent, Mam was not very explicit. Is it a treat, if so pray tell me what you have done to deserve it?’

  ‘I don’t think it is a treat, Mam said it was but I think it is just to get me out of the way in case I talk to the police.’

  ‘Oh yes, and why would you want to do that?’ I have a feeling Fat lady knows more than she is letting on and is pumping me. I’m not going to talk to her about Flynn and Lion; I want to speak with Jack, Brian, and Toby about it before I say anything to anybody else.

  ‘Oh nothing just something, about Lionel, that is all.’

  ‘Who is Lionel?’ She must know who Lionel is, she is definitely pumping me.

  ‘The boy, that ran away last night. I don’t know why Mam thinks I would talk to the police, what would I have to say? I don’t know anything about Lionel I only came to Saint Stephens yesterday so I don’t really know him.’

  ‘Why do you think he ran away?’

  ‘I told you I don’t really know him, perhaps he got fed up or doesn’t like it at Saint Stephens, I don’t know why; I can’t understand why he would go I’ve only been here one day but I think it is really nice, and all the staff are very nice too.’ I don’t like telling lies Gran said it is okay to tell a white lie so as not to hurt some ones feelings, I think that was a white lie, I hope it stops her asking me anymore questions.

  ‘Well that’s settled then, glad you like St Stephens, you’re right everyone is very nice and dedicated to giving poor unfortunate children like yourself the best possible care. We endeavour to make it as close to a family home as we possibly can, treating each child as an individual, giving them the love and affection they deserve; goodness me, we have been talking so much the time has flown, we are at our destination already. When we leave the coach we will form up in a crocodile two by two. I will lead; Anne will bring up the rear and keep the stragglers from getting lost. Your job will be to walk alongside and prevent them straying into the road, do you think you can do that?’

  ‘Yes, I think so, where are we going?’

  ‘Where I decide, I expect to some shops, then to the castle, and then beside the river for a picnic.’ Marjorie starts her laborious journey up the aisle; I think our walk is going to be a very slow one.

  I have just noticed that seven of the children are wearing red cardigans, while the others are wearing navy blue. All the boys have grey trousers, white shirts, grey socks, and black shoes. The girls are wearing light blue and white check dresses, grey socks, and black shoes.

  ‘Marjorie, why are some of the kids wearing red cardigans?’

  ‘Because they are from Saint Gabriel’s they are not all from St Stephen’s now go along with you and take up your position on the kerbside. Don’t forget, always keep to the outside. Don’t let them stray into the road.’ Our crocodile moves off at the speed of a caterpillar.

  Walking down Tonbridge High Street we take up most of the pavement, other pedestrians have to move aside to allow us to crawl along. Marjorie gives each one a smile and a polite thank you, some reply, but most just stare with a look of pity, they know we are from the orphanage. The children do not seem to be like other eight year old kids I have seen at school. They are always noisy, the boys pushing and shoving, the girls always giggling, but these are quiet, speaking in a whisper. All the girls are holding hands, the boys just looking about them, they all seem so unhappy, it is as though they had all become orphans this morning. I have tried talking to some of them, all I get is one word answers, yes, no or alright, not one has asked me who I am or why I am here, it is very strange.

  I am walking alongside a girl wearing a red cardigan; she is a lot taller than the rest, holding the hand of another girl that looks two years younger, this must be the Canning girl and her sister. She is looking straight ahead; I touch her arm, she turns her head to look at me. ‘Are you from Saint Gabriel’s or Saint Stephens?’ replying in almost a whisper she says,

  ‘Saint Gabriel’s; are we allowed talking?’

  ‘I think so, who said you couldn’t?’

  ‘Miss did’ Marjorie half turns around and continues waddling backwards.

  ‘Phillip, do not engage the children in conversation I wish them to be silent, I do not wish to present a babbling rabble to the citizens of this town, so do your job and be quiet.’

  And so, we continue in silence, our slow progress to wherever Marjorie decides to take us.

  Marjorie raises her hand for us to stop; her action is as though she is in charge of a wagon train. She waddles into a baker’s shop and emerges five minutes later clutching a small newspaper parcel. With a wave of her hand (Wagons Ho) we roll along the High Street.

  In front of the castle is a large grassed area, with flower beds are around the edge. The castle is more complete than the ruins at Hastings. The entrance is massive like a real castle with two large towers and a drawbridge but, behind, there is very little standing, just the outline of some rooms and a couple of walls. Marjorie does her wagon master bit again bringing our slow column to a halt. ‘Pay attention; you are to form groups of three, two boys and a girl to each group, if you make a fuss about it I will select who goes with who.

  Once you have sorted yourselves out you can go and explore, you are not to leave the confines of the castle and, under no circumstance do you go near the river is that understood?’ The tall girl from Saint Gabriel’s puts up her hand.

  ‘Yes, what is it Rachel?’

  ‘Miss, if my sister is not with me she will cry.’

  ‘Then she will just have to learn not to; Phillip, you go with her sister and that boy over there with the glasses, the one on his own. All of you stay in your groups if I see anyone on their own that group will be severely dealt with by me. You have half an hour, when you hear my whistle blow three times you are to return here, understood?’

  A chorus of ‘Yes Miss’ echoes off the walls of the castle, and then the kids scatter in three’s, like normal kids.

  ‘My name is Phil, what is yours?’

  ‘Cyril’

  ‘And what’s yours?” Her response is to burst into tears, c
rying out as though she is terrified, ‘I want Rachel.’ It is going to be a long half hour. Cyril is wearing red,

  ‘Cyril, what is her name?’

  ‘It’s Miriam.’

  ‘Take hold of her hand Cyril, come on Miriam let us run and see if we can catch Rachel.’ This is doing the trick, the crying has stopped. Cyril is having trouble keeping up as we chase after Rachel who is dawdling, holding back the boys she is with.

  ‘Rachel come on, if we get behind the wall Fatty won’t be able to see us and Miriam can rejoin you.’ The six of us get behind the wall out of sight.

  ‘Cyril, do you want to go with these boys and I’ll stay here with the girls?’

  ‘I don’t know; will it be alright?’

  ‘Yes of course it will, if we get in trouble I will take the blame, but make sure you keep hidden from Fatty.’

  ‘Yes, come on, we won’t bite we promise.’ Cyril, with a big grin, follows the boys. Miriam takes hold of Rachel’s hand.

  ‘Have you been at Saint Gabriel’s very long?’

  ‘Just over two months. We were evacuees, staying in a manor house near Penhurst until the war finished. Mrs. Smyth told us both our Mum and Dad had been killed, we didn’t know until she told us. It was then she said she couldn’t be lumbered with a couple of kids for the rest of her life. The next day the council men took us to Saint Gabriel’s.’

  ‘That is horrible, how long were you at her house?’

  ‘Just over three years, Mir’ was only five when we went there. It was quite nice, the housekeeper Peggy, and her husband Bert were lovely and looked after us very well, we hardly ever saw Mrs. Smyth, her husband is in the Army and he was away all the time but I don’t think she missed him, there were always a lot of American airmen from the airbase there, they were always having dances it was fun. What about you, how long have you been at Saint Stephens?’