Barefoot and Lost

by Brian Francis Cox

  ‘Ave I done something wrong Miss?’

  ‘No, of course not, we are going to give you some very good news.’

  ‘You’ve found my Mum,’ her face lights up, ‘I knew she weren’t dead I knew it all the time.’

  ‘No, I’m afraid it is nothing like that, but good news just the same, come inside so we can tell you all about it.’ Helen’s face slowly slides back to her scared look, the door closes behind her.

  In the dorm Billy is sitting on his bed looking down at his hands, he looks up as I come in, a forced smile on his face. ‘Billy are you going to Australia?’

  ‘Yeah, are you, bloody great aint it? All thems kangaroos and bush rangers, it’ll be fantastic.’

  ‘I don’t know, I’m being adopted by a farmer and his wife, how can they want to adopt me, they don’t even know me, what about you, where are you going?’

  ‘Don’t know what it’s called, but it is a new home which is being built in West Australia, wherever that is.’

  ‘I wonder why you’re going to a home and I’m going to a family, even got an elder brother, never had one of them before; might not be so bad after all?’

  ‘Suits me to go to an ‘ome, I don’t want to get mixed up with no family, they may be shite and then I’m stuck with them, at least in an ‘ome, when they kick you out you can please yourself what yer do; no, an ‘ome is best.’

  ‘I think I prefer a family, you’ve never had a family so you don’t know what its like to be part of one.’

  ‘Yeah, expect you’re right, families are great, that’s why you’re back in a bloody ‘ome, yours really looked after yer, didn’t they?’

  ‘Don’t care what you say, maybe third time lucky and, if it’s not, then, when I’m old enough, I can just walk away.’

  Chalky sticks his head around the door, ‘You’ve both been told, well, how do you feel about Australia then?’

  ‘I don’t know; these people want to adopt me, how can they want to do that, they have never even seen me?’

  ‘Well, they have in a way, they will have seen your photograph and read all about you, and will have deduced that you are a very intelligent young man. You don’t look that bad either, and fits what they consider the qualities for a son, and someone they can offer a stable home to; what about you Billy?’

  ‘I think its fantastic, always wanted to see a kangaroo, will you miss us Mr. White?’

  ‘Nope, will you miss me?’

  ‘I will, you’ve been great to me, yes I’ll miss you.’

  ‘No you won’t, because I’m coming with you.’

  ‘How come you are going?’

  ‘Well, they offered me to go as an escort, with a job in the home if I want it. I have nothing here to hold me, no family, no dependents so why not? Australia is a growing country; I believe it is a great opportunity for all of us.’

  ‘Mr. White, do they speak English in Australia or will we have to learn another language?’

  ‘You might Billy, you’ll have to learn English, your version is a bit hard to comprehend at times.’

  ‘No Billy, they speak English, we had a man staying at the guest house, he was Australian, and he sounded a bit like an American.’

  ‘How many of us are going, are there others that are being adopted like me?’

  ‘There are twenty two children, me and, Christine from Fairy. She will be looking after the girls from here but I believe there are more than two hundred altogether from all over Britain.’

  ‘Hell, it must be a very big ship to hold all those people.’

  ‘It is Billy, I think it carries over one thousand five hundred passengers; yes, the S.S Asturias is a very large ship, and you will be very much at home on her, she was built in Belfast, so you both speak the same language.’

  The last two weeks have been taken up with medical checks, packing, getting fitted with new clothes, writing to June and Pop to tell them where I’m going, they might not care but I’ve told them anyway, and reading about Australia, which wasn’t a lot, it was mostly history, about the prisoners that were sent there in the last century, there was nothing I could find about modern Australia.

  I haven’t slept all night, afraid that I would oversleep which is stupid because Chalky wouldn’t let that happen. The light goes on, Chalky shouts, ‘Wakey, wakey rise and shine, its five o clock and the morning is fine, come on out of bed today is Friday the fifteenth of August, this is the first day of the rest of your lives.’ How can he be so cheerful so early?

  After a hurried breakfast we are counted, all twenty two of us, onto the coach. Someone calls from the back ‘Mr. White how long before we get to Southampton?’

  ‘About four and a half hours, but don’t worry Nigel, we will be stopping for you to have a pee,’ we all laugh, silence then takes over, even Billy sitting next to me is silent, all I can hear is the rumble of the engine and the rattle of the door as we go over potholes. Looking around me, everyone has their eyes closed, either sleeping, or deep in thought like me, about where we are going and what is to happen to us.

  Billy didn’t stay quiet for long, he started to sing, and he really has a very good voice. Strangely, when he sings, you can hear every word, there is no sign of an accent, and Chalky reckons he should sing all the time, to make himself understood.

  Our coach joins five others already pulled up in front of a large building. Hundreds of people, most carrying suitcases, are jostling each other; two uniformed men are attempting to make them form a queue. An Army lorry stops alongside, blocking my view, soldiers jump out of the back. Chalky has left our coach; Christine is standing in the doorway watching our driver unload our suitcases on to a trolley. The soldiers march away in line with their kitbags on their shoulders, the kitbags have names painted on them that I find difficult to read, how do you pronounce a C and a W together, most of the names end in SKI they can’t be English? The lorry moves off. I can now see Chalky returning to our coach, there are so many people he has to weave in and out of them. The army lorry is replaced by another one; more soldiers with unpronounceable names get off.

  ‘Right, listen up, as you can see there are a lot of people so you must stay close to me, take all your belongings off the coach, you don’t need to worry about your suitcases they are being taken care of. We are going into the terminal, it is important we stay as a group while I get our travel papers checked, we will then go aboard as a group; is that understood?’ No one answers, I think everyone is, like me, overcome by the noise and bustle of so many people, all trying to do the same thing and not quite knowing how they should go about it, so if Chalky says that is what we are doing then he must be right.

  On board we are directed, to our cabins on E deck, I’m surprised to see our cases have beaten us here. Arranged on three walls are two tier bunks, with a further double deck bunk in the centre. There is a scramble to get a top bunk. Chalky shouts, ‘Hold it, I will allocate the bunks; to make it fair we will draw lots, okay?’ Chalky takes his pen from his pocket, tears a page from his note book then tears it again in to eight pieces and with his pen he numbers each piece, after folding them he puts them in his hat, ‘Okay who wants first dip?’

  ‘Mr. White, don’t you think we should number the bunks first?’

  ‘That’s a damn good idea Billy, why didn’t you think of that?’

  ‘I thought I had.’ Chalky walks around the cabin touching each bunk in turn, counting as he goes,

  ‘Seeing as it was your idea Billy, you get first dip.’ Billy selects four, I get six, Chalky is under me, and Nigel gets one. The other four boys I have never seen before, two are Billy’s age, they get two and three, the other two are about nine years old, and they get seven and eight.

  ‘Now, let us all introduce ourselves. I am Mr. White, but, in this cabin or in private, I want you to call me Chalky, like those here who know me, call me, behind my back’ The two older ones introduce themselves as Ben and Clive; the other two are Malcolm and Kevin.

  ‘How did you know w
e called you Chalky?’

  ‘Because I have always been called Chalky by everyone that has known me, it is a nickname that goes with White; now I suggest that we all go up on deck because we are about to sail.’

  An announcement comes over the Tannoy, ‘All ashore those that are going ashore, this is the final call.’

  Up on deck people are crowding over the rails, Billy and I find a bit of a gap behind a group of girls, some have streamers which they have thrown to people on the shore, at least sixty feet below. The gangways have been removed, there is a deafening blast from the ships horn and the gap between the ship and the shore slowly widens, the streamers tighten and then break, the contact between England, and our future on the other side of the World, feels final. I’m excited, but sad, to be leaving everyone I have ever known, that is except for Billy and Chalky of course. The girls are chattering as they turn away from the rails being ushered by two nuns to wherever they are going.

  ‘Billy, do you feel a bit sad?’

  ‘No why should I be?’

  ‘I don’t know-----’

  ‘PHIL, PHIL,’ I turn around to see who is calling me, my eyes light up, that flutter in my stomach returns.

  ‘Rachel, what are you doing here?’

  ‘Going to Australia want to come?’ Throwing my arms around her I give her a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek; completely taking me and Rachel by surprise.

  ‘I am now that you’re going.’ One of the nuns stops, places her hand on my shoulder,

  ‘Are you two related?’

  ‘No Sister, we are just very good friends.’

  ‘In that case my child I suggest that this young man un- hands you, I will not tolerate this sort of behaviour in public, consider your reputation.’ I stop hugging stepping back, we hold hands looking at each other, the hair on my neck prickles, I can feel the heat creeping up my neck, and my ears start to burn. The nun glares at me; her glare breaks into a smile as she sees my embarrassment. Rachel gives my hand a squeeze then slips hers out of mine, and turns to follow the rest of the girls, giving me her special wave from the hip.

  ‘Is she your girlfriend?’ Billy asks,

  ‘I suppose she is, I really like her a lot.’

  ‘Is she a Taig?’

  ‘A what; what’s a Taig?’

  ‘A left footer, you’re a proddy aren’t you?’

  ‘Billy, what the hell are you talking about?’

  ‘Christ, don’t you English know nothing; is she RC, a Roman Catholic?’

  ‘I don’t think so, she used to go to church with the rest of us at Saint S’s, why, and does it matter?’

  ‘Of course it bloody matters, well it does where I come from, if she’s not, what is she doing with them bloody penguins?’

  ‘Penguins, what penguins? Billy, I am really confused now, please speak English so I can understand.’

  ‘Penguins, the nuns, if you are getting mixed up with that lot you can count me out as a friend. I’m born and bred orange and always will be, I want nothing to do with that lot of shites.’ The anger is oozing out of him, he looks like he is about to explode as he storms off up the deck, whistling a tune, his hands beside his face, his fingers making out they are playing a flute. I let him go I have no idea why he is so upset but I expect he will get over it, and if he doesn’t, I don’t really care now Rachel is here.

  We are now several hundred yards from the quay, the people standing there waving are no longer individuals, gradually merging into a mass of colour. ‘How do you feel Phil?’ I turn to my left to see Chalky standing beside me, leaning on the rail.

  ‘I don’t know Mr. White-----’

  ‘Chalky remember.’

  ‘Sorry; Chalky, I don’t know mixed I think, sad that I won’t ever see my foster parents and friends in England again, but excited about all the new people and things I will see.’

  ‘Yep, I reckon that sums it up, we must look forward and make the most of this opportunity that has been given to us to start a new life.’

  ‘Chalky, what will we be doing while we are on the ship; can we just do as we please?’

  ‘Definitely not, some of the younger ones would go wild, even get injured or go overboard. A ship is a dangerous place without proper care and attention; there are one hundred and forty seven kids on this ship and only six escorts, that’s twenty four or there about, each to look after. Clearly we won’t be able to do it on our own, so we will need the help of the likes of you to oversee the younger ones, the escorts are meeting tonight to work out how we will do it.’

  The Tannoy crackles into life with an announcement about first sitting for dinner.

  ‘That’s us Phil, round up everyone you see from our coach, girls as well, and we will meet in the dining room in twenty minutes.’ I don’t really want to go for dinner; I’d much prefer to watch the tug boat that is alongside, helping the Asturias into open water.

  I wake to the sound of Nigel moaning and a juddering and creaking sound from the ship. My bunk is swaying from side to side, I feel sick, but if I lay flat and close my eyes the feeling is not so bad. I hope it is not going to be like this all the way to Australia.

  The weather has become worse, several people have been sick, poor Nigel, is very bad, he looks as grey as the blanket that is wrapped around him. Chalky has made the rest of us go up on deck, getting there is a problem, as I seem to be holding onto everything I can find.

  Up on deck the wind is blowing a gale, I’ve tried to open the door onto deck, but I can’t open it against the strength of the wind. It is only after a steward takes my hand, leads to the other side of the ship and pushes the door open with one hand, to show me how easy it is.

  There are so many people on that side, most looking very ill; it’s a wonder the ship doesn’t capsize. The fresh air makes me feel better, but it is so difficult to walk that I have found a spot beside a lifeboat out of the rain, where I intend to stay.

  The bad weather has continued for almost four days. Chalky shakes me, ‘Come on Phil, come, and have a look at the Rock.’

  ‘What rock?’

  ‘Gibraltar; the Rock of Gibraltar, we are just entering the straits; not long now before we will be in the Mediterranean.’ On deck the skies are still grey, the rain has stopped and the wind has dropped. Through the gloom of early morning I can see a huge white cliff rising from the sea,

  ‘What country is it?’

  ‘British, it belongs to Britain; we pinched it from the Spanish in the early seventeen hundreds. They want it back but we are refusing, because who controls it controls the entrance to the Med.’ I’ve never been there but they say it is a bit like England, with Bobbies and red telephone boxes.’ The sun is just breaking through a cloud, glinting on something on the other side of the ship.

  ‘Where’s that over there?’

  ‘Morocco and that is probably Tangiers.’

  ‘I know; that’s Africa wow, I can’t believe I’m looking at Africa.’

  ‘Exciting isn’t it? If your arms were a bit longer you could reach out and touch both Europe and Africa at the same time.’

  The weather has become hot, games have been organized for the younger kids, Billy is talking to me again since he has found out that, with the grouping arranged by the escorts Rachel is now in Christine’s group and has nothing to do with the nuns. It is great because we are now able to talk without the risk of upsetting anyone. Rachel, like me, is being adopted by the brother and his wife of the couple that have adopted her sister Miriam. They are Australian and are returning to Melbourne at the end of the year so, although they will be with different families, they will be together, Rachel says, like cousins instead of sisters.

  Rachel has met Miriam’s new family and likes them, I just wish I knew who I was going to, it’s not fair, they have seen my photo but I haven’t any idea what they look like, they could have two heads. I hope they don’t want me to change my name, I don’t think I want to be Phillip Barton.

  I’m awake early, the engines
have stopped. Slipping off my bunk I look through our porthole but can see only water. Quickly dressing I give Billy a shake, ‘We’ve stopped, and I’m going to see where we are.’ A group of men are standing by the rail, ‘Excuse me where are we?’ They look at me blankly, and then one, younger than the rest says,

  ‘To jest Malta.’

  ‘Malta, wow, where are you from?’

  ‘I----come---Poland.’ another of the group joins us,

  ‘My friend, his English not too good, we are Polish, we are going to Tasmania to work on new hydro electric station, where are you going to?’

  ‘I’m going to Melbourne, to get a new Mum and Dad.’ I can see that he hasn’t understood me but it doesn’t matter.

  We stayed anchored off Malta for about twelve hours, during that time several boats, one quite large, came alongside. As it starts to get dark those who were allowed ashore return to the ship, the engines start their thump, thump, thump, with a clatter of chains, shouts from the crew and a blast from our horn we start to move forward.

  The movement of the ship is so smooth now you wouldn’t know we are moving. The three cabins that Chalky is looking after are always quiet; he seems to do his job without any fuss. He reasons with you when he wants something done and, if you don’t agree, he has a way of telling you why you should, without shouting, and you find yourself doing it. I really like him and I think he also likes Christine, because they always seem to be together.

  Further along the ship the escorts can be heard, shouting at the boys they look after, but, having said that, they are very good with the young ones. I have often seen one in particular, sitting on the deck, beside a boy of about six years old, he usually has his arm around him, talking quietly, as though to comfort him, I wonder is he being like Flynn or like my dad, when I was younger; will I always be suspicious of adults in this way?