"I'm sorry, Mom." His voice cracked with emotion. "I don't know how it happened."
Meg experienced a flashback with his words. She had uttered a similar statement in her own circumstances, but she didn't want to make the same mistake her parents had made with her. Even after twenty years, she could still hear the recriminations. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on the humor of his words. "Oh, I think you know how it happened."
Tom grimaced and pulled his hand away. He looked up at the ceiling as if the water stain in the corner had some answers, then swung his gaze back to her. "You know what I mean, Mom."
All traces of humor left her. "Yeah, I do." She could barely choke out the words.
He ran his hand through his hair once more and lowered his gaze. "I don't know if I'll be able to love this kid and look after it the way you've loved me."
Meg pushed back her chair and went around the table to hug her son. "Of course you will, honey." She pushed back the dark hair from his forehead. "You're a loving and caring person."
He hugged her back. "You taught me well." He buried his head in her shoulder but not before she saw the sheen of tears in his eyes.
Meg held him close, giving him a moment to compose himself. When he pulled out of her embrace, she went back to her chair. A tear slipped down her cheek and she wiped at it in surprise. "Sorry about that. I just haven't come to grips with the idea of you being a father yet." She forced a smile. "So, what are your plans?"
"Well, Erin's dad wants us to get married."
Meg tensed, but she pushed back her frustration with Zane Martin's demands to focus on her son's needs. "Is that what you want?"
He shrugged. "I'm not sure. I haven't really known Erin very long."
Tom's words had her staring at him in disbelief. "Then what business did you have sleeping with her?"
He shrugged. "It just sort of happened."
"It just sort of happened? I can't believe you just said that." She heard the shrillness in her voice. "Nothing just sort of happens. I thought I'd raised you better."
"I'm sorry, Mom."
Meg closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." She shuddered. "I sounded just like my parents."
Tom sent her a curious look. "Your parents?"
The situation with Tom and Erin vividly brought back the past, along with all the difficult emotions of that time. Of course Tom wouldn't remember his biological grandparents. He'd only been two when he'd last had contact with them. Joe and Maria Evans were the only grandparents he knew. The rest of his history had been a mixture of fantasy and reality that Meg had created to satisfy his curious mind.
"I mean your biological grandparents, Tom. You know that I got pregnant with you when I was a teenager. My parents were pretty upset at first, but they came around after you were born."
"Just before they died in that plane crash with my Dad and his folks."
"Yeah." The lies burned in her throat, making it difficult to speak. When would they ever end?
"I'm just so confused, Mom."
Meg leaned forward. "Whatever you do, don't let Erin and her dad force you into something you don't want to do."
"I want to do the right thing."
"Oh honey, you can still be a father to your child without marrying Erin."
Tom's head came up and the look he sent her was full of pain and confusion. "But my dad married you when you got pregnant, right?"
Meg's heart twisted in her chest. She'd given him only enough information about his father to satisfy his curiosity as he grew up. He'd asked a lot of questions as a young boy and she had concocted a story about how thrilled Paul was to be a father and how much he loved Tom. She'd invented a fairytale family for the three of them that ended when Paul, his parents and her parents died in a plane crash on the way to a fishing trip in northern Saskatchewan.
Lying didn't come easy for Meg, but over the years she'd become a master. She hated herself for it, but she'd had to protect her son.
"That was different. Your Dad and I grew up together. We'd known each other and each other's family all our lives. You barely know Erin. Can you honestly say you love her enough to stay with her the rest of your life? Because if you can't, it'll be even harder for your child when your marriage falls apart."
Tom scrubbed at his face with his hands in a gesture of weariness. "No, I can't honestly say that right now. But I don't want my kid growing up without knowing his dad like I did."
Meg swallowed a huge lump in her throat. She turned to stare at the philodendron across the room. When had she last watered it? Even though she tried to focus on something as mundane as the houseplant, she couldn't stop thinking about her son's questions. It was because of her that her son had grown up without his father.
Had she done the right thing?
"Your child won't grow up that way because you won't let him." She clutched at the green checked tablecloth as she carefully weighed her words. "For now, just concentrate on being the best dad, and the best person, that you can be."
Tom nodded once and released a pent up breath. "So you think I can be a good dad, even if I don't marry Erin."
Meg sighed in relief. "I know you can, honey. Maybe sometime in the future you and Erin will fall in love and be ready for marriage." Taking a closer look at Tom, she realized her baby was almost all grown up. And now he had a baby of his own on the way. She blinked with her next thought. She was going to be a grandmother.
The ringing of the phone interrupted her revelation. Frowning, she got up, annoyed to have her thoughts of impending grandmotherhood cut short. Zane Martin answered her hello without a similar greeting.
"Is your son ready to marry my daughter?"
Chapter Two
"I've spoken to my son, Mr. Martin." His determination to have Tom marry Erin only stiffened her resolve to ensure the marriage didn't happen. "Tom doesn't deny that he's the baby's father, and he's prepared to take an active part in the baby's life, but he's not marrying Erin."
For a moment there was total silence and Meg thought the line had gone dead. Then she heard Zane's intake of breath.
"I don't want my grandchild thought of as a bastard." His deep voice cracked with emotion.
Meg could practically feel the anger vibrate over the phone lines. She closed her eyes, reliving her father's words. I'll not raise a bastard in my house. She shuddered at the memory.
"Mr. Martin, people don't think that way anymore. Many people raise children on their own. Just because Tom doesn't choose to marry Erin doesn't mean he won't be a good father.
"I understand that Erin is a university student as well. The important thing here is that both Erin and Tom be allowed to finish their studies and that the baby is well cared for and loved."
"So what's to stop him from skipping out of town and leaving Erin to face the consequences alone?" She could hear the sneer in his voice.
"What will stop him is his honor and integrity. Tom intends to stand beside Erin through her pregnancy and beyond."
"If your son had any honor and integrity he wouldn't be hiding behind his mother's skirts right now, and Erin sure as hell wouldn't be pregnant."
Meg's anger bubbled over. How dare he speak like that about her son? "Mr. Martin--"
"Look, Ms. Evans." He said her name as if it were something distasteful. "Either your son marries my daughter immediately or I'll have charges drawn up against him."
"Charges?" Meg felt sick to her stomach. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about rape, Ms. Evans. You and your son can think about whether you'd rather have him married or in jail. But don't think too long."
The receiver in her hand went dead and she realized after a moment that he'd hung up on her. She placed it in its cradle with a shaking hand, her stomach pitching violently. What had Tom gotten himself into?
* * * *
Erin was waiting to pounce on Zane as soon as he opened the front door the next afternoon.
"Oh my God, Daddy
, what have you done?"
Her complexion was even more pale than usual. Her long blonde hair curled around her face, reminding him of her mother. The anger in her dark blue eyes also reminded him of her mother.
"I'm looking after things, sweetheart. Don't worry about it." He reached out to touch her, but she evaded him.
"Don't worry about it?" She bit out the words in a tone he'd never heard her use before, her eyes narrowed and glaring. "You're threatening to have my boyfriend thrown in jail for rape and I'm not to worry about it?"
"Erin, he has to take responsibility for what he's done."
She took a step closer to him, her body shaking and her voice vibrating with anger. "What he's done? What about what I've done, Daddy? I invited him over when I knew you wouldn't be home and I took him to my room. He told me he didn't have any condoms with him, but I told him it was okay because I was on the pill."
Zane's gut twisted. This was his baby talking. "God, Erin, why would you do a thing like that?"
She lifted her chin in a gesture of defiance. "Because Tom is good looking and funny and smart and because I wanted him."
"Sweet Jesus." Sweat broke out on his forehead. He couldn't believe this was his little girl talking, the one who'd played with Barbie dolls till she was fourteen. But his little girl was all grown up and it was the grown up Erin he had to deal with. "So you're saying it was consensual?"
"Of course it was. I'm eighteen years old and I can decide who I sleep with. If you try to say otherwise, I'll certainly set everyone straight." She took one step closer and looked him right in the eye. "Unless you drop this ridiculous notion of rape and apologize to Tom and his mother, I'll move out right now and find somewhere else to have my baby in another six months."
Panic bubbled through him. How could she manage by herself, alone and pregnant? The thought of Erin being hurt or sick scared him as nothing else in the world could.
"All right, I'll talk to Ms. Evans again. Just don't go anywhere."
She nodded. "And I'm going to continue to see Tom."
"You'll not sleep with him in this house."
She grinned. "It's a little late for the warning." She rose on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. "I love you Dad."
Zane put his arm around her and laid his cheek on the top of her head. "I love you too, kiddo."
Erin picked up her backpack and headed to the door. For the first time Zane noticed the small bump in her belly. "I have to get to class. Try not to have anyone arrested while I'm out."
"Very funny."
She blew him a kiss as she slipped out the door. A moment later Zane heard her trusty Honda wheeze to life and he went to the front window to watch her drive away.
He sighed. When had she become so damn sassy and independent? But then he remembered how as a six year old she'd refused to let him buy clothes for her. She insisted on shopping for herself, with him along only in his capacity as money handler and shopping bag holder. He grinned at the memory. Maybe she'd been a grown-up for a long time and he just hadn't noticed.
She'd certainly been grown up enough to know that issuing threats and ultimatums was the strategy of a bully. He winced. He couldn't stand people who intimidated others and yet that was exactly what he'd done. He owed Ms. Evans and her son an apology.
He drove by the Evans' apartment, hoping to catch her before she left for work. He pushed the intercom button for her suite. No response. Zane was about to leave when she walked briskly out the front door.
Today she wore her hair loose around her shoulders and it shone with the blue-black intensity of a blackbird's wing. Her eyes were the color of dark chocolate, so deep that he couldn't tell where the irises ended and the pupils began. They were framed by thick, dark lashes that swept her cheeks when she lowered her gaze. In contrast to her dark hair and eyes, her skin had the delicate hue of porcelain.
"Ms. Evans, may I have a word with you?" As he spoke, he touched her arm lightly.
She froze, panic evident on her face.
Zane dropped his hand from her arm. She was afraid of him, and he couldn't blame her. He was big, his scars often frightened people, and he'd threatened to have her son thrown in jail. Intimidating women was not his style. He felt disgusted with himself.
"I'm sorry Ms. Evans. I didn't mean to startle you. I just want to talk."
She stepped back, her gaze darting around. She was probably checking for something she could use as a weapon.
He put up his hands in surrender. "Look, I'm not going to hurt you. I came here to apologize for what I said yesterday."
"You want to apologize?" She sounded as if she didn't believe him.
"The things I said yesterday, I was out of line. My daughter explained that the--" He stumbled over his vocabulary to find an innocuous word. "The relationship between them was consensual. I was upset and angry and I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry."
"I see." She adjusted the strap of her purse. "I appreciate you telling me this. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to the restaurant."
"Wait." Suddenly it was important to Zane that she understood why he wanted Tom and Erin to marry and make their child legitimate. "I know you're in a hurry, but could you just hear me out?"
An older gentleman came out of the apartment building just then and Meg moved aside to let him pass, smiling in acknowledgement when he said hello. It was the first time he'd seen her smile and it blew him away. Something deep and primitive moved inside his heart. She looked up at him, the smile gone.
"I can't imagine anything you could tell me that would change the situation." She pointedly checked her watch.
Zane took a deep breath. "My mother had me when she was eighteen, in a time when pregnant girls gave up their babies for adoption and never spoke of them again. But she didn't. She raised me herself, supported both of us, and looked after her elderly parents as well. But a lot of people in that small town wouldn't let either of us forget that I'd been born without benefit of clergy.
"I don't want my grandchild to grow up thinking he's not as good as everyone else. I want him to know his father loves him."
Her eyes changed, softened, as she looked at him. "I want that too, Mr. Martin. Tom won't abandon his child and neither will I. He's my grandchild too, you know."
He believed her. "Call me Zane. If we're going to have a grandchild in common, I hope we can at least be civil enough to call each other by our first names."
"All right." She tested it on her tongue. "Zane. You can call me Meg."
"Meg." He liked the way she said his name and he wondered what it would sound like spoken in the heat of passion. He gave his head a mental shake. What the hell was he thinking?
"This doesn't change anything," she said, her eyes wary once more. "Tom is still not going to marry Erin. They don't love each other. That's the only good reason to get married."
"I know."
"I just would hate to force them into a marriage that they're going to feel trapped in. Marriage is hard enough for two people who love each other, but with the pressures of a baby..."
She looked away, her brow furrowed in thought, or perhaps old memories.
He wondered if Meg spoke from experience. But according to Tom, his parents had had a very happy marriage before it ended with is father's death.
She looked at her watch once more. "I'm really late. Thank you for coming by today."
"Thank you for listening."
She nodded and headed into the parking lot. Zane watched her slide into the driver's seat of an old Pontiac and drive away in a cloud of burning oil. He frowned, wondering how safe the ancient car might be.
He studied the apartment block she lived in, a nondescript, three-story brick building, devoid of any embellishments or style. Obviously Meg and her son lived modestly. He knew from Erin that Tom attended university on a scholarship, and worked hard to maintain his grades in order to keep it. To make money for books and transportation, he worked part-time at the restaurant. Zane couldn't help but admire t
he kid's tenacity.
He'd been mistaken to threaten Tom. It had been underhanded and just plain wrong. Maybe if he showed Tom the financial advantages of marrying his daughter, the kid would be more inclined to go along with his plans.
A short while later Zane again found himself waiting in his car outside the Evans' apartment. He knew from Erin that Tom's first class of the day was at ten thirty in the morning and that he took the bus to the university most days. He checked his watch. Tom should be making his appearance at any moment.
Right on cue, Tom stepped out of the apartment block, a backpack loaded with books slung over one shoulder. Zane stepped out of his car and called to him.
"Tom, would you like a ride to the university?"
The young man stopped, a look of uncertainty on his face. "Thanks, but I can get there on my own."
Zane sighed. He hadn't given Tom or his mother much reason to trust him. "Look, I came to apologize. I spoke to your mother earlier and I was hoping to explain things to you as well."
Tom took a step towards the car. "You spoke to my mother? And you're still standing? That must have been some explanation."
Zane grinned. "Why don't you get in the car and I'll tell you all about it?"
Tom walked to the car and opened the back door, tossing his backpack inside. "Why not? I hate taking the bus."
Zane maneuvered through the morning traffic on Portage Avenue, taking the south exit onto Route 90. "First of all, I want to say I'm sorry for the threats I made against you. Erin explained things to me, how she...how the two of you..." He stopped, his mind unable to get around the thought of his baby girl seducing the young man sitting beside him. "Anyway, I know you didn't force her."
"Oh." Tom looked straight ahead.
"I was angry and frustrated and I thought I was protecting my daughter. When your child is born, maybe you'll have an idea of how I feel about Erin.
"I've had a chance to calm down and I realize that the best thing for Erin and the baby would be if you were a part of their lives." He paused, weighing his words. "I guess Erin has told you that I grew up without a father, just like you. I don't want that to happen to my grandchild."
A Long Way From Eden Page 2