"I don't know. I might have stayed, just out of sheer exhaustion, but one day he hit Tommy." Meg began to shake as she remembered. "He was just a baby and Paul hit him so hard he flew across the room. I stepped in to protect him and he hit me instead.
"The next day while he was at work I started planning my escape."
"What did you do?"
"I contacted my two best friends from school. They got together as much money as they could and drove Tommy and me to Regina to the bus depot. I had just enough money to buy a one-way ticket to Winnipeg. I changed our names and went into hiding. I couldn't let them take us back."
When he didn't say anything, Meg rushed on, afraid to let the silence fall between them. "I didn't want Tommy to know what his father was really like, and I didn't want anyone to know I'd run away. I was ashamed of what had happened, and frightened that if I told anyone, somehow Paul and my father would find me. So I made up all these wonderful stories for Tommy. Years passed and I wanted to tell the truth but I couldn't. How could I suddenly tell the truth when I'd been spinning these lies for so many years? It was just too late. So I kept my secrets. Maybe I just wanted to forget the truth."
"What did you find in Eden yesterday?"
"Paul is dead. He died in a car accident not long after I left." She shook her head. "Ironic, isn't it? I've been hiding from a dead man all these years."
She sighed. "I saw my parents and for the first time I realized my father is an old tyrant who can't hurt me anymore. The past no longer has any power over me."
Zane folded his arms across his chest and stared at her, saying nothing.
Meg got shakily to her feet. Maybe this was her cue to leave. Zane had said nothing about still wanting to marry her or even wanting to continue a relationship. She picked up her purse and started towards the door. "I'm sorry I lied to you, Zane, and I'm sorry I dumped this all on you, but I just couldn't live with the secrets anymore."
"You know what else is ironic?" Zane said, pushing away from the desk and walking towards her. "That I've been hiding a secret, too. All this time I've been angry at you and my mother for keeping things from me and I've been doing the same thing."
Meg stared at him, puzzled. "What do you mean?"
He took a deep breath. "Remember I told you about the car accident that killed Anna? Remember I told you we were arguing and she went through a red light?"
"Yes, I remember. You wanted to take Erin to the beach with you and Anna didn't."
"That's part of it but not the whole story." He looked away for a moment before continuing. "Anna was very angry and she said that maybe I wouldn't be so crazy about Erin if I knew the truth."
"The truth?" Meg asked when he paused again.
"She told me Erin wasn't my child, that another man had fathered her."
Meg could only stare at Zane, too stunned to speak. His face was a mask of pain. If Anna had wanted to destroy him, she couldn't have found a better way.
"She never told me who this other man might have been. I don't even know if there was any truth in it, or if she was just trying to hurt me. Moments later we crashed and Anna was dead."
"Did you ever try to find out?"
He nodded. "When Erin was small I had our blood tested, but it could only say that it was possible I was her father, not that I definitely was. DNA testing wasn't around in those days, and later when it was, I couldn't ask Erin for a vial of her blood without telling her why. I just couldn't do that. I was the only parent she had, and I couldn't pull the rug out from under her like that. She needed stability and security growing up." He paused and took a deep breath. "Besides, I didn't like to even think about it as a possibility."
"Do you think you'll ever tell her?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. A part of me wants to know, and another part would just rather not."
"Would it make any difference to how you felt about her if you found out she was fathered by someone else? Would you still think of Erin as your daughter?"
Zane looked at her in surprise. "Of course I'd still think of her as my daughter. I love Erin. That's not going to change."
"Then maybe you have your answer. Maybe it doesn't really matter who fathered her. You're her real dad."
"Maybe." Zane didn't look convinced. "I spent years wondering who my father was and where I came from. Don't I owe that to my daughter?"
"I suppose that's true." She shook her head. "Secrets and lies can be so devastating, even if they're meant to protect someone you love."
"I don't know yet what I'm going to do about Erin. I only know that I don't want any more secrets between us," Zane said, taking her hand. "I had it in my head that you were still grieving for Paul, that when you compared me with him, I came up very short."
"Oh Zane." She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "There's no comparison between the two of you. I can't tell you how sorry I am you felt that way."
"Is there something you can tell me?" He was standing very close to her, looking into her eyes with that single-minded intensity she'd come to associate with him. In his gaze she sensed his vulnerability, his fear. With a flash of insight she realized he needed to hear that she loved him as much as she needed his declaration of love.
She placed her hand on his face, her heart pounding. "I can tell you that I love you with all my heart, that there's no one else for me. There never has been and never will be."
Relief flashed in his eyes. He took her hand and kissed it. "I love you too. I realized I never told you that before, not even when I asked you to marry me, even though I've felt it for a long time. I guess I was too scared."
He let go of her hand and went to his desk, opening the top drawer and taking out a small box. "There's never been anyone else for me either. There never has and never will be." Zane took the ring out of the box and slid it on the third finger of her left hand.
"We've both had hard times in the past and maybe we'll have hard times again. But if we're together they won't seem so bad. Not if we love each other."
Meg nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "I'll have to tell Tommy the truth. That will be hard."
He squeezed her hand. "We'll tell him together. We'll make him understand that you did what you had to do to keep him safe. And together we'll decide what to tell Erin." Zane looked into her eyes. "Will you marry me, Meg?"
"Yes," she said, tears flowing down her cheeks. "I love you and I want to be with you always. I couldn't ask for anything more than your love."
Zane took her in his arms and kissed her, somehow communicating to her everything he felt in that one kiss. "I couldn't ask for more either."
Epilogue
Meg balanced the breakfast tray in her hands as she pushed open the bedroom door with a nudge of her hip. The tray contained all Zane's favorite breakfast foods: pancakes with maple syrup, eggs over easy, and a carafe of his preferred blend of coffee. As a concession to her husband's good health, Meg had made a fresh fruit salad. She'd make sure this Father's Day would be a very special one for him, and the first of many they'd celebrate together.
Sometimes she still couldn't believe how lucky she was to be married to him. They'd had a simple but beautiful Christmas wedding with family and close friends in attendance. Erin and Emily had decorated the house with red and white mini lights and dozens of white roses and red poinsettias. She'd never forget the sight of her husband waiting for her at the makeshift altar Tommy had erected in the living room. Zane had looked so incredibly handsome in his black tuxedo that the sight had taken her breath away. But it was the love that shone in his eyes that she'd always cherish. She knew that no matter what happened, they'd always have their love to sustain them.
"Hey sleepyhead, wake up. Happy Father's Day!" She set the tray on the night table and kissed Zane's cheek.
He rolled over and smiled sleepily at her. "Mmm, something smells good." He pushed himself upright and leaned against the headboard. " The pancakes don't smell bad either."
Meg laughed and kissed him agai
n. "Have I told you today how much I love you?"
"No, but it's still early."
She laughed again as she set up Zane's tray. She'd laughed a lot in the last six months. A short time ago she would never have believed she could be this happy. "Well, I'd better get started then. I love you, Zane."
His blue eyes softened with love. "I love you too, sweetheart."
As long as she lived, she'd never get tired of hearing him say that. "I'm so glad." She poured him a cup of coffee. "Your mom and the kids will be over this afternoon. We're going to have a big Father's Day barbecue. I feel like celebrating."
Zane tucked into his pancakes. "Sounds like fun. The last few Father's Days I think the best I scored was a pair of socks and a couple of ties."
Meg smiled and helped herself to fruit salad. "I think we can do better than that this year. It's Tom's first Father's Day as a dad. I can't believe how much Anna's grown."
Their granddaughter was now a chubby, inquisitive, and very delightful ten-month-old who had just begun to take her first tottering steps. Tom was a proud and devoted father. It had devastated him to learn his true history. For a while Meg had wondered if he'd ever forgive her. But after he made a journey to Eden and met his grandparents, he began to understand why she'd felt she'd had no option but to run away.
Zane had helped her through her estrangement with her son. Both he and Erin had convinced Tom that Meg might have made a mistake by not telling him the truth, but that everything she'd done was meant to protect him. Meg's relationship with her son was now stronger than ever. The past no longer held any fears or questions for either of them.
"Did Tom tell you his company is sending him to Toronto in the fall for some specialized computer training?" she asked.
Zane nodded. "Yeah, he told me. It sounds like they have a lot of faith in him. I'm happy for him but I can't help but wish he'd have taken me up on my offer to work for my company. I don't like the idea of him being away from his family for six weeks."
"No, I'm not crazy about it and neither is Erin, but it's a wonderful opportunity for Tom. He needed to prove to everyone that he got the job because of his qualifications and not because he's soon to be the son-in-law of the boss."
Tom and Erin were planning a small wedding at Zane and Meg's house in August, on their daughter's first birthday. "He didn't need to prove anything to me," Zane said.
"Maybe not, but I think Tommy needed to prove to himself that he could succeed on his own merits. He's a very proud young man. You can understand that, can't you?"
"I suppose so," Zane admitted grudgingly. He polished off his pancakes. "Erin's going to have her hands full going to university full-time and looking after the baby while he's away."
"That's true, but we'll help her, and now that your mom is living in the city, it'll be much easier."
Emily's small house in St. James was not far from Meg's old apartment, where Tom and Erin had moved just after Zane and Meg's wedding. Zane had been thrilled to have his mother close by and Meg had begun to forge a strong bond with her mother-in-law.
"Mom will enjoy babysitting Anna when Erin goes back to school in the fall. Now that she's retired, she'll want to keep busy." He moved the now empty breakfast tray from his lap and set it on the night table.
Meg snuggled in beside him. "I don't think there's any danger of Emily getting bored. She golfs twice a week and volunteers at the nursing home. And John keeps her pretty busy as well."
Zane frowned and put his arm around her. "Do you like him?"
Emily had met John Thompson at the nursing home where he regularly visited his ninety-six year old mother. He'd been alone for several years, his wife having died eight years previously. The two of them had been going to movies and dances and generally spending time together. The affection and old-fashioned courtesy with which he'd treated Emily was lovely to watch. "Yeah, I like him a lot. I think they both deserve some happiness."
Zane kissed the top of her head. "Yeah. I want everyone in my family to be as happy as we are."
Meg smiled a secret little smile. "That's something I wanted to talk to you about."
"Oh?"
She looked up into his face. She wanted to see his expression when she told him her news. "I think we're about to get a lot happier in six months or so."
At first he just stared at her in puzzled confusion, but slowly a light began to dawn. "Are you saying... Do you mean...?"
"I'm going to have a baby, around Christmas time, possibly on our anniversary." She studied his face, which had suddenly turned pale. "What do you think?"
Zane swallowed, then shook his head and laughed. His eyes filled with tears but Meg saw the joy that shone in them. His voice quavered as he touched her stomach with a gentle hand. "I think I'm a very lucky man. I love you Meg. I couldn't have asked for a better Father's Day present."
About the Author
Jana Richards has tried her hand at many writing projects over the years, from magazine articles and short stories to paranormal suspense and romantic comedy. She loves to create characters with a sense of humor, but also a serious side. She believes there's nothing more interesting than peeling back the layers of a character to see what makes them tick.
When not writing up a storm, working at her day job as an Office Administrator, or dealing with ever present mountains of laundry, Jana can be found on the local golf course pursuing her newest hobby.
Jana lives in Western Canada with her husband Warren, along with two university aged daughters and a highly spoiled Pug/Terrier cross named Lou.
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